Is it wrong to eat through your fat friends?

Ok, I have a confession to make.  I have been secretly eating through other people.  I am getting a real high off watching other people eat “BAD” food.  What I mean is I find myself living vicariously through other people’s eating.  I have been buying cookies and ice cream by the boatload watching my family and friends devour the goodies.  I am buying goodies that I didn’t even it eat when I was fat.  Mind you it’s Ramadan, so they are eating this stuff late in the evening around 10 and later.  Now, I don’t eat it but I’m encouraging the back practice. I know; it’s shameful.  I should be an advocate for healthy food and good eating habits, which I am for the more part but I find myself enabling bad eating. 

In the beginning of my VSG journey it use to bother me that other people got to enjoy the pizzas, the sodas, and all the chocolates sweet stuff but noooow, and I hate to admit it, I feel like I’m thriving off the fact that I am in control.  For example I will pass out the ice cream and cookies or bake up a cake then offer it out to anyone in sight.  Then they will ask me “Hey Ams, why aren’t you eating”?  And of course my response is always I’m full or I get some later.  Which ends in them saying, “So that’s how you are getting thin”, or “That’s why you’re losing weight cause you don’t touch this stuff”.  That’s how it begins and ends almost every time.  Me pimping the food, them eating it, and I wash my hands clean of it; satisfied and still losing weight.

I’m guilty because my poor sister in law and a good friend of mine who both struggle with weight seems to be the latest victims in my quest to fill my need.  Every chance I get I’m introducing a new recipe, a new cookie, a new candy.  Awh..it’s terrible. I’m pushing every morsel over to them to watch them finish every piece.  There are times that they are telling me that they are full and can’t take another bite but I steadily encourage them to finish. 

Why am I doing this?  I don’t want to be a preachy health nut but I don’t want to be an enabler either.  Not only should I be an example but I need to encourage good eating practices.  Be a cheerleader for good food. 

 

Just wanted to get that out off my guilt box.

   Im saying this with the utmost compassion and good intention

                                            

                          this is beyond what any help anyone on this forum can provide you

I totally get the control issue - its a bit of a high. Even if I cry bc I cant eat the junk...im still in control. When my nephew came to stay with me, I bought him junk I shouldnt have...hated watching him eat it, but deep inside, I thought "im in control - so beat it carb monster".

You probably should consider therapy to help you sort through things like this. Eventually your resolve will weaken...and you'll end up eating it. It happend to me around 18 mo post op - and prior to that, I had said "never, not me".

I think you are brave and honest.  It's admirable.  It takes someone with a lot of self-awareness to recognize and admit this.  Bravo to you!

With that said, you might benefit from working with an experience food/eating disorders therapist/psychologist.  If you really want to do the work and delve into the 'why' of these actions, it would be helpful.

I wish you well!

ummm this is weird lol

 

not laughing but i think therapy may be in order. you haven't fixed your relationship with food and it is not healthy for your loved ones and eventually will not be healthy for you because i see this leading to you going back to old eating habits eventually. 

I think its a slippery slope that you are on. If you continue baking making and pushing these items it's only a matter if time before you start slipping.

You already know the answer to your question... you answered it yourself. :) xoxo

This reminds me of an episode of King of Queens where Carrie is trying to sell Kirstie Alley a condo. Kirstie had just lost weight on one of her fads and was turning down yummy foods. Kirstie realized she liked watching Carrie eat the yummy stuff she couldn't eat, so she had Carrie eating anything and everything. Carrie was only doing it so she could sell her the condo. It was funny--but also sad. If you love your family members, don't push the unhealthy stuff down their throats. If they CHOOSe to go out and get it and eat it themselves, that's cool. But buying it and handing it out? Nah, not good. I think the others are right that it's not a normal approach. Aren't you newly post op? That might be your way of handling things right now, but please work on it so it's not a problem you have when you are a year post op.