I turn 50 tomorrow. It’s a landmark birthday for me. Well, I suppose it is for everyone who turns 50. Let me say that turning 50 sure as hell beats the alternative and I am very glad to have my regained health. Physically I am in the best shape of my adult life. I “jogged” on the elliptical the other evening for an hour on high intensity interval training and “covered” 5.5 miles, burned a boatload of calories, and maintained a heart rate of 135-140 easily and never felt out of breath or overly fatigued.

I am over two years out and there is not a day that I regret having VSG. Having VSG is one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself and my future.

My life is not radically different from the way that it was pre VSG. I still have the same wonderful partner who supports me and loves me thin or fat. My work is the same and steady, my family and extended family and close friends are all the same wonderfully supportive people they have always been.

The only thing that is different is me (and my clothes!). VSG has helped me get to know myself better than I have ever known myself before. I understand and accept myself for who I am now. I don’t always like who I am, but I can accept my truth and live with it. Really, accepting myself is the only way I can make the changes I am striving to make.

Before VSG I had no idea how dysfunctional my relationship with food truly was. I read on this board the mishaps and experiences of people much farther out and I thought to myself, “Oh, I won’t ever let that happen to me.” I was in the throes of WL and feeling very mu*****ontrol both physically and mentally those first 6 to 7 months and then WHAM I was at goal. Then I focused on stopping losing weight.

With limited capacity I used high density calorie foods to do that. I also allowed some sugar back into my life, and......

Here I sit turning 50 tomorrow not where I had hoped I would be. I am 12-14 pounds over where I need to be, but truly in my heart I know I need to be back down a full 20 pounds. This would make me feel much more comfortable in my skin and would make my doctors very happy, too.

So, while I know I have made some errors in judgement over the past year in the food department, I’m not disappointed in myself. I’m not ashamed or even depressed. I have food issues. End of subject. I always will. I am still far healthier than I was sitting at 278 pounds on my 5’7” frame. I’m not fat - just a little thicker than I was 18 months ago. And, hot damn, I’m strong!

So at 50, I am embracing my food issues and all the baggage that comes with them. I’m committing to work with those issues so that I find the balance I am seeking. I have no doubt that I will lose these extra pounds in the coming months. That’s not even a worry. The worry is will I learn to truly and honestly work with my food issues long term?

My 40s have been a truly transformational decade in so, so many ways. My 40s were the decade of my health. In hindsight I can see that my 40s were dedicated to eradicating the life threatening habits I had developed over a lifetime.  I have done so many things to change the course of my health trajectory that I am honestly very proud of what I have accomplished. I am far healthier and physically younger today than I was 10 years ago.

I’m feeling optimistic today and looking forward to the next 50 years!

Such and amazing way to look at yourself and life. Congratulations and happy birthday!

  Happy Birthday, Devon!  Your open and loving commitment to yourself and to everyone here makes you an true inspiration.  I hope your 50's are the decade of peace.  You still have many, many years to embrace your hard earned well being.  Now have an amazing B.Day tomorrow!

Kim

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEVON!!!

Wishing you 50 more healthy, happy years!!

Hope you have a fabulous bday with the best years yet to come

I love your post Devon and I love you!

So much of what you have to say sounds a lot like what I am going through my weight-loss journey.  I always felt like you and I were connected because were so similar.  

I have no doubt in my mind you will lose that regain. I know you have in you. You are strong but not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. I wish you all the best.

Happy Birthday Devon!!!

happy birthday.  great way to celebrate with an insightful post. now go hug some terriers.    diane

OMG, you should see my puppies! They are the cutest damn things EVER! This is Keeper, the 7 week old.

This is Blue, my 9 week old (same sire, different dam).

Oh man... so cute!  We do dog rescue transports quite often - hard to resist taking all the little guys home.  We have two Jack Russells... so we're terrier people too.

Awwwwwww.  So sweet.  And happy birthday to you, Handsome!!