Confessions of the Fat me.......

I've done all this (and more) in my pre-op days. I used to buy a dozen donuts and hide the box in my underwear drawer so I could eat the whole box without my family knowing. I would drive across town to go to a different McDonalds so the cashier wouldn't say, "Hey, didn't I see you here this morning?" I would buy two of something at the store and eat one on the way home, then "surprise" my family with the other one and end up eating half of it along with them. It's funny; it's been 10 years since surgery but I remember all the guilt and shame and loss of control I felt like it was yesterday.

Thanks for this thread and reminding me just how much I love my DS. :)

Oh my goodness; Frisco - Let me say thank you for starting this thread.  It is good to remember where I came from; so I don't ever go back there.

1) Stopping at Tim Hortons and buying three cookies on my way home from work and eating all three and they are huge cookies; then making sure I got rid of all the evidence; and

2) Eating a whole box of chocolate and then buing a new one to replace it.

Also, the other day at the farmer's market I bought a package of handmade marshmallows. The woman asked me if I wanted a bag and I said, "I don't need a bag; these aren't even going to make it to the car!" Harharhar... Skinny person joking about eating lots of food. I would never had dared say something like that at 357 pounds. She would have looked at me like I was disgusting.

Of course, I ate one marshmallow and had a toothache and the queezies for the rest of the afternoon. But it was a darned good marshmallow!

well I remember a couple of things:

going to a fancy cookie bakery and ordering up a dozen or more and someone from my office walked in and I immediately told them I was having guests for the weekend. of course i wasn't and they didn't even ask anyway.

a friend and I went into costco and bought every suggary fattening thing in the store. the clerk who checked us out said "Oh, girl weekend?"  We were busted.

I used to look in the grocery cart of fat people and in my own cart sort of cover up the bad stuff.

I would buy groceries and then go across the street to Target for their special $1.99 pound bags of peanut m and m's.

Much of my bad behaviour was at home as I baked and cooked a lot.  A batch of choc chip cookies just for me.

Phew, glad those days are over.   diane

At home I regularly took out the garbage (trash)  before I took out the garbage. You know, so DH couldn't see what I'd eaten before it was time to eat. 

Similarly, I regularly replaced the container of goodies **** cream, candies, pie, etc) with a new container ... and if some was already eaten, I just replaced it the same way DH last saw it. 

I think he wondered how I got so heavy, but I sure didn't!

I would do the same thing, Linda!  I would eat food on the way home from work and then stash the wrappers in the garbage cans outside so no one could "see".  Then, when I would sneak-eat the treats that were supposed to go in my husband's or kid's lunches I would have to make trips to the store to replace them before they saw stuff was missing.  

I am having my surgery Aug 25th.... not recently but I have:

*Went to multiple fast food places if i was craving certain things: one place for fries, one place for buger, ect. I had a huge purse to carry it all in so no one would see me walk into my house

*I would order enough for an army and then laugh and tell the cashier that my roommates always make me get the food....i only had one roommate lol

*I would order anything that came with free desert, even if it didnt sound good.

Kinda feels good coming out of the closet with all these :)

Oh boy did thi**** a nerve!  I never had the guts to order a double order of food just for me.  But no matter what, I always ate my lunch in the car.  If I had fast food for lunch (just a regular value meal or two bean burritos from Taco Bell--my drug of choice), I would wait until I got home to throw out the trash...in the outside trash of course.  

One other fun "game" I would play is when I would have a weigh in day, like weigh****chers for example (this started when I was pregnant with my kids and had regular OB/GYN appointments where I would be weighed), it's tradition that on my way home I would eat something terrible or completely pig out somewhere.  The addition runs deep!

WOW! This post really hits a cord!

I know I engaged in a LOT of deceit, sorry, cant remember or list them all, but at some point I think I must have been clueless as I think back.

I KNOW I must have gone "above and beyond" these scenarios, no doubt. I was more of a "grazer", and kept thinking, "its not that much", and of course, I was not journaling my intake. I just ignored it and kept on going on, in spite of my inability to move.

Having a trail of broken lawn/plastic chairs eventually convinced me I was really blocking out the truth. It was in the back of my mind at all times, I was just ignoring it.

Had my surgery, lost the weight, and grazing caught up to me again. I need to lose these 40 - 30 lbs that I gained along the way and looking for support. I'm SO scared to "revert".

Looking to go back to basics and lose at least 20lbs.

Oh the shame - what were we thinking.

Three to add I didn't see posted -

I'd pretend to talk with someone on my phone (no one on other line) to make their order (2nd ice cream, subway, chipolte, etc...),

When ordering pizza, I'd pretend to yell across the room (no one else in the house) to see if they wanted to add breadsticks to the order, etc...

I'd get the 2 for 20 special with an app - Fridays, Chilies, Applebees etc, then eat the app and 1 meal, tell them to pkg the other for leftovers, then eat the "leftovers" as soon as I got home (or on the way home).

Posts like this put me in the camp that food is as real of an addiction as sex, drugs, etc.... Does that mean we can count the pre-op diet as withdrawals?