Worst day in my life 20 months Post-VSG

Hugs, Sweetie!  I hope a new and wonderful chapter in your lie is about to unfold.

Kim

I'm not the right person to offer advice or give my opinion. 

But I do wish you the best of luck and the wisdom and clear head to do the right thing for you. 

I hate to say this but now is not the time to be thinking about the marriage. Ge yourself to a doctor and run every STD test known to man so that you can make sure you're okay and keep healthy. You did this surgery for you and that is still the case. Then get a therapist and get your mind right. You might need to take a break from him to do this, then and only then can you make a sound decision about what you will do next. I would never tell you to leave your husband because I don't know your story but I will say that if he was cheating on you the entire marriage you may want to start requiring more for yourself and that may not include him.

I am truly sorry that you are going through this.

This is really horrible.  

I think the first thing you should do is really take some time to soul search and figure out what YOU want.  Ignore him right now.  If you can, tell him he needs to live elsewhere for a few weeks (since you should not have to leave your home due to his cheating).  If you can't get him to live elsewhere - can you?  Space to figure out what you want is the best right now.  And then.. decide if you're willing to give the relationship another chance.  "I'm not" is a PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE answer here.  But it's also perfectly acceptable for you to decide you do want to give it a chance.  Really, don't let anyone tell you what you must do here - since either option is OKAY.  If it's what you really want.  If you decide you do want to give it a chance, think about what will need to happen to repair/rebuild - counseling is probably a good step if you choose that course.  Counseling is probably a good step regardless of what you choose, because having your trust violated so heinously will need some time and work for healing (and grieving).  

Most of all, be kind to yourself and don't hate yourself too much.  You did not cause him to do this.  You are not stupid.  You, like all of us, are worthy of love and of a partner who will abide by the rules that have been agreed upon for the relationship.  

This would also be a good time, again regardless of what you choose, to work on checking out your support network and getting your ducks in a row financially.  Document EVERYTHING that goes on and save any relevant emails and texts.  

I would also highly recommend that you have a full panel of STI testing done.  I know, not what you want to think about right now, but it's still important.  

Sonia I am so sorry. What a jerk. Please go to your PCP and get whatever test you can to ensure you don't have any STD's! Do this first and foremost. This is not your fault and don't ever think that it is. He didn't do this because of you, your weight, or anything else pertaining to you. He did this because he has issues. Be strong, we are all here for you 

I so sorry this happened to you. Your not stupid he is. I no you don't want to hear this but bulls$it in our lives makes us stronger. I wish you the best. I send you hugs!!!

Sonia,

Chances are he would have cheated whether you were fat or not. How scummy of him to pull the fat card! It's just an excuse! He does not have respect for you or your marriage! You deserve so much better! Love him or not, you don't need that! Men like him are selfish! It is demeaning of him to tell you he slept with prostitutes because you were fat! What a piece of work!

I am a sorry. You deserve happiness and respect. Sometimes the things/people we love aren't good for us. Not to make jokes, but he's a Twinkie....ditch and move on to a happier healthier choice. 

Sending you positive vibes. 

He didn't cheat on you because you were fat.  He cheated on you because he's a cheater and a liar.  If you'd been skinny, most likely he'd have found some other reason to cheat.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.