Feel like a liar

I have to put my $0.02 in also.

First, I do want to say that I have told just about everyone that I know and even strangers when it seems to come up.  However, I realize that I am extremely lucky to work with and know a group of extremely supportive people.  I am sure that I would have chosen a different approach if I worked with people similar to what you described.  In my discussions, there have certainly been a few people who have been totally clueless about what is involved and why I chose to do it.  Luckily, I have been able to derail those discussions rapidly simply by saying I didn't want to discuss it any more.

In support of those people who are critical of your way of keeping things private, I do want to say that at the point when people start asking you for where to get supplements and for instructions on your plan, then yes, you have certainly given them the impression that you have discovered a super diet.  I think people on here are concerned that when others will try and fail to duplicate your description, it will reinforce the feeling of failure for those people.  I can see how it would appear to be reinforcing the (wrong) opinion that all an overweight person needs is willpower and the right magic diet.

To YOUR support - I certainly don't think you should tell these critical, immature people what you consider your private business.  Perhaps you could come up with another way to protect your privacy on this topic.  I only suggest this because, from your original post, your current method seems to be bothering you.  Do you think it would work as well to tell them that you worked with your doctor and a nutritionist to come up with a process that works for you?  That is sort of the same approach without giving people even basic instructions that they can go chase down.  Maybe that would feel less misleading to you.

Finally, to those people who say that someone asking you about your weight loss or hair loss is rude, I have to say that isn't true.  Surely some people would do it simply out of nosiness, but others may truly care.  I had a co-worker recently say "You are looking great, but you aren't sick are you?" In this instance, it was obviously out of caring.  I'd feel like my co-workers didn't care about me at all if no-one asked about my health after such a drastic change.

Anyhow - keep up the good work!  Glad to hear things are working for you!

Your body.... your choice.... bottom line....

That said.....it's much harder to keep it on the down low.... gotta keep your story straight and remember who you told and what.....

For me it was much easier to be an open book and in the end never got any negative comments or feedback.... just support and many questions about WLS by people who were interested either for themselves or somebody they knew.

I was shopping for a shirt at a local store here and the sales person and I were laughing about how many sizes I've dropped.... from a 4X to a medium and a customer over heard and said "congratulations.... how did you do it". I said I had WLS a couple years ago. He said "very cool". After I bought the shirt the guy comes up to me and asks me if I could talk to his mom as she has multiple medical issues related to obesity and they had been talking about WLS as a possibility but didn't know anything about it..... just a failed RNY by his aunt.

You definitely aren't lying ..... but, there is a perception....certainly medical issues are private if we choose. "My thought" is that in the business world I didn't need anyone questioning my integrity with assumptions about "hiding" something.

More people in the end have just said, I wish I was open from the start..... much easier and your not dropping a "bomb" on people "after" massive WL.

The bigger problem is that if you told 3 people.... you told 3 people to many ....... more people have been ratted out on Facebook intentionally or unintentionally !!!

frisco

I didn't tell anyone I work with that I had WLS. When they noticed and asked I just told them I work with a nutritionist and left it at that. Didn't lie, but also didn't tell the entire truth. 

I saw no reason to lie about it. WLS is nothing to be ashamed of. You wouldn't lie about having cardiac bypass, or having an appendectomy would you? So why lie about WLS. Share your story and you may encourage others!

I told people at work that I had a hernia surgery. I'm only 3 weeks post op, so people just notice my face being slimmer. I've only told my parents, brother, and boyfriend. I don't care to share it. The only person I grapple with telling, is, an overweight friend. We are both doing low carb and losing weight. But I don't want her to fail in her diet (like we all have over and over again) and compare herself to me. So, I might tell her at some point. Everyone else can mind their BIDNESS.

Touche'! Meant for Sam_shrinking333

So to all who tell "part of the truth" but not the whole truth, if you don't want to tell people, why don't you just say "I don't want to tell you?"  Why bother with "half truths?"  I really don't get that.

Do what is comfortable for you. I have basically told the world as I announced it on Facebook. I've been battling my weight since childhood and being open about it is what makes sense to me. Everyone is different and if you don't want to tell anyone, don't. Good luck!

My strategy was telling only those who I'm very close to.  I tell others that I am exercising everyday, eating protein forward diet, and cut out bad stuff.  I don't feel guilty because I don't know those people well enough to tell them about my medical procedures.  I don't feel like I'm lying, just not telling them something that I consider too personal to share with mere acquaintances.  I also chose to not share the surgery with anyone at work.  I truly believe that if you tell one person at work, you are better off telling everyone because word will travel.  I don't think your secret will be safe with coworkers.  That's just my opinion. This is your journey and your body.  You can withold whatever information you wish.  It's no one's business!!  Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and focus on your weight loss - not what others may think.

I was upfront and honest about it. Some people judged me. But a lot of people were inspired. I had a few coworkers so inspired by my experience that they actually had surgery themselves. The overwhelming majority of people were encouraging and supportive.