Am I really that Ugly !???(kind of off OT)
OK.. lets see where to begin... well before I had the lap-band I never an I MEAN never had a boyfriend. Well.. I got my first BF about a month after surgery had not really lost alot but I thought good he sees me for me.. Well that lasted all of a couple months(he got mad becasue I was not willing to jump in bed with him) well since then I have had a couple BF (meaning 2) One I found out cheated on my(which I found out from his mom) The other has just stop talking to me all together. I find myself becoming more an more depressed as time goes on... I mean this is all to much for anyone..
Aug 8th 2007 Had the lap-band placed, by Dr B
Aug13 2007 post op apt. with Dr B lost 5lbs doc was happy.
aug 26-31 2007 in the hospital with Asthma (steroids)
Sep 3 2007 folow with my doc gained 10lbs ( Mind you I was inactive an had steriods on board I new most of this was water weight. Dr B then told me that he was sorry he ever did my surgery an thinks we should take it out. (I left the office in tears never went back,
Sep 4th 2007-Jul 15 2008 NO BAND CARE also time when I had the first boyfriend.. (who got upset because I would not jump in bed with him)
Jul 16 2008 Found new doc Dr Pesta.
Had 3 fills done to bring band to 3 ccs
Since I had the band placed on Aug 8 of 07 I always had sevre pain by my port area (very hard to handle fills)
July 15-July 30 2008 Had second BF (found out he was cheating on me by his mom(he thought I would not know because we lived about an hour from eachother
July 30 Dr P an I decide to move the port. an SCH revison surgery
Aug. 5th I had revison surgery. All fluid taken out (spent the night in the hospital)
Aug 11th had emergency apt with surgon who was covering for my doc(mine was doing a health mission) found out I had inflammed incsion site. to watch them close an follow up with Dr P
Aug 18 2008 followed up with Dr P an he addmited me to the hospital for IV meds to do Infection with the inscion.
Aug 20 2008 sent home to rest an recover.
Aug 20-Sep 15- FINE
Sep 17 2008 in for follow up with Dr p +4lbs (which did not surprise me do to no restriction in band however it made me cry an get very upset(which Dr P tried to calm me down.)
Sep 16 2008-Oct 10 2008 Asthma flare up which has included 2 4day in pt hospital stays. an on steriods starting at 80mg an just not as of oct 10 starting to taper down..
Oct 1 2008 Had to cancel apt with Dr P do to being in Pt for asthma
Oct 8 2008 had to cancel apt do to car dieing an having to be towed in to the shop. )(there went 400.0 I did not have to begin with)
I also have come to the truth of seeing the my cuurent BF or I should no say Ex bf because he has not reutrn an of my phone calls for the past week. an delted me off myspace,..
I find myself getting so depressed all I want to do is sleep or cry. as I type this now I have tears rolling down my face, an I just cant help it.
I am starting to ask my self... am I really that ugly that no one wants to have anything to do with me....... well I think I have a big enough puddle under my feet from crying now that I am goign to post this.. an go to my room(which is all I do) an cry some more..
Lindsay
Aug 8th 2007 Had the lap-band placed, by Dr B
Aug13 2007 post op apt. with Dr B lost 5lbs doc was happy.
aug 26-31 2007 in the hospital with Asthma (steroids)
Sep 3 2007 folow with my doc gained 10lbs ( Mind you I was inactive an had steriods on board I new most of this was water weight. Dr B then told me that he was sorry he ever did my surgery an thinks we should take it out. (I left the office in tears never went back,
Sep 4th 2007-Jul 15 2008 NO BAND CARE also time when I had the first boyfriend.. (who got upset because I would not jump in bed with him)
Jul 16 2008 Found new doc Dr Pesta.
Had 3 fills done to bring band to 3 ccs
Since I had the band placed on Aug 8 of 07 I always had sevre pain by my port area (very hard to handle fills)
July 15-July 30 2008 Had second BF (found out he was cheating on me by his mom(he thought I would not know because we lived about an hour from eachother
July 30 Dr P an I decide to move the port. an SCH revison surgery
Aug. 5th I had revison surgery. All fluid taken out (spent the night in the hospital)
Aug 11th had emergency apt with surgon who was covering for my doc(mine was doing a health mission) found out I had inflammed incsion site. to watch them close an follow up with Dr P
Aug 18 2008 followed up with Dr P an he addmited me to the hospital for IV meds to do Infection with the inscion.
Aug 20 2008 sent home to rest an recover.
Aug 20-Sep 15- FINE
Sep 17 2008 in for follow up with Dr p +4lbs (which did not surprise me do to no restriction in band however it made me cry an get very upset(which Dr P tried to calm me down.)
Sep 16 2008-Oct 10 2008 Asthma flare up which has included 2 4day in pt hospital stays. an on steriods starting at 80mg an just not as of oct 10 starting to taper down..
Oct 1 2008 Had to cancel apt with Dr P do to being in Pt for asthma
Oct 8 2008 had to cancel apt do to car dieing an having to be towed in to the shop. )(there went 400.0 I did not have to begin with)
I also have come to the truth of seeing the my cuurent BF or I should no say Ex bf because he has not reutrn an of my phone calls for the past week. an delted me off myspace,..
I find myself getting so depressed all I want to do is sleep or cry. as I type this now I have tears rolling down my face, an I just cant help it.
I am starting to ask my self... am I really that ugly that no one wants to have anything to do with me....... well I think I have a big enough puddle under my feet from crying now that I am goign to post this.. an go to my room(which is all I do) an cry some more..
Lindsay
Well first let me start off by say NO YOU ARE NOT UGLY!!! Never let a relationship define how you view yourself physically or otherwise. My sister is gorgeous and skinny and smart but she hasn't had a date in 3 years and when she did date before that the guys were ******** What you need to do is to get out of the house. Go out with friends or family. Find something to occupy your time and work on yourself. I've been where you are and even now that I'm married I still find happiness in things outside of my husband. You'll find Mr. Right when you're not even looking for him. Good luck hun
oh hon! you've been through a lot this year! you are not ugly! please don't think that especially because of some jerk guys. I don't remember how old you are...obviously in your 20s which means you're still young...we all are...and in time you will find Mr. Right. It took a lot of frogs for me to find my "prince". If you want some advice on the guy front...it sounds like you need to love yourself first. You mention how you got a boyfriend after surgery, but you didn't really lose a lot of weight. appearance isn't everything. I think you found a boyfriend because you just had surgery and you started feeling good about yourself. when you love yourself and are happy with yourself others see that and it draws them to you. sorry he was a jerk, but sometimes you have to deal with the bad eggs to appreciate the good when you find him. I know that's how it worked for me. I had some real winners *note sarcasm* for boyfriends, but when I found my fiancee I saw he was nothing like them and I can't tell you how much I love and appreciate him. he treats me better than anyone ever has and I've also gained about 40lbs since we met 3 years ago...still finds me attractive, hasn't dumped me like some of the others might have.
anyway...take some time, calm down, and try to focus on you. don't worry about men for now. you tend to find someone when you least expect it/when you're not even trying. if you don't go to therapy or support groups maybe those would help you. plus you have us. keep your head up...work on your health and life in general. once things calm down maybe you can start online dating if you want...or like I said just live your life and who knows what might pop up. *hugs*
anyway...take some time, calm down, and try to focus on you. don't worry about men for now. you tend to find someone when you least expect it/when you're not even trying. if you don't go to therapy or support groups maybe those would help you. plus you have us. keep your head up...work on your health and life in general. once things calm down maybe you can start online dating if you want...or like I said just live your life and who knows what might pop up. *hugs*
1TH YOU ARE NOT UGLY!!!!! `CUZ IF YOU ARE UGLE, I`M UGLY TOO AND I`M DEFINIDLY NOT!!!!!. I`M 23 `VE NEVER HAD A BF BEFORE. DON´T LET THIS "MEN" HURT YOU THEY ARE **** AND YOU ARE GOLD. SO DON´T MAKE THAT **** GET YOU.
I HAVE A FRIEND THAT SERIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE A SUPER MODEL SHE SI 24 SHE`S BEEN SINGLE FOR 3 YEARS AND ONLY HAD 2 BOYFRIENDS BEFORE.
AND HAVE BOYFRIENDS IS NOT ABOUT LOOKS. I KNOW VERY UNGLY GIRLS THAT HAD TONS OF BF. .
I KNOW YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY, BUT TOMORROW IS GONNA BE A BRAND NEW ONE.
SO SMILE.
HUGS.
MARIANA.
I HAVE A FRIEND THAT SERIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE A SUPER MODEL SHE SI 24 SHE`S BEEN SINGLE FOR 3 YEARS AND ONLY HAD 2 BOYFRIENDS BEFORE.
AND HAVE BOYFRIENDS IS NOT ABOUT LOOKS. I KNOW VERY UNGLY GIRLS THAT HAD TONS OF BF. .
I KNOW YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY, BUT TOMORROW IS GONNA BE A BRAND NEW ONE.
SO SMILE.
HUGS.
MARIANA.
Ok girl, I know this sounds totally out there but I am starting a new career and business venture and I was given a DVD to watch. not even 30 minutes ago I put the dvd on, and its called The Secret. It was about the law of attraction. Attraction to relationships, weath, health... everything. What you think is what you bring. I'm not in any way trying to say that you are bringing this on but its all about positive thought. It totally freaked me out and go me thinking... hubby and I have been broke and living from paycheck to paycheck every week and I keep thinking to myself that its never going to change.. therefore it never does. The universe is going to give you what you want and if your positive and know what you want and visualize it you will get it.
I know it sounds soo corny, and believe me im usually not a weird kinda person, but I believe this and I think we can all change what we dont like bout our lives. Im sorry you have had suc a horrible year, I really think it will get better and you will find someone that is PERFECT for you! You are not ugly! Just think positive and the universe will be genourous with you. I never had a boyfriend before I met my husband either.. Guys liked me, but they were too embarrased to do anything about it because of how cruel people can be. But I found my hubby and we have a little boy and are so happy.. yeah were bummed about our financial situation but all I have to do is just change it.. Change the way I think and change the way I do things. I hope things work out and dont worry girl, you will find someone perfect for you!!!
Please please please, dont take anything I said the wrong way..
I know it sounds soo corny, and believe me im usually not a weird kinda person, but I believe this and I think we can all change what we dont like bout our lives. Im sorry you have had suc a horrible year, I really think it will get better and you will find someone that is PERFECT for you! You are not ugly! Just think positive and the universe will be genourous with you. I never had a boyfriend before I met my husband either.. Guys liked me, but they were too embarrased to do anything about it because of how cruel people can be. But I found my hubby and we have a little boy and are so happy.. yeah were bummed about our financial situation but all I have to do is just change it.. Change the way I think and change the way I do things. I hope things work out and dont worry girl, you will find someone perfect for you!!!
Please please please, dont take anything I said the wrong way..
Hey Sweetie. You have been through the ringer more than once this year, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.
1. Boys are awful. I, too, had my first relationship shortly after surgery. He took advantage of alot and alot I knew was happening, but didn't know how to respond. I've gone through alot of people in search of love and appreciation, but finally have realized I have to see it myself before anyone worthy is going to appreciate me for me.
2. I'm finally seeing a therapist. I've dealt with a roller coaster of emotions for 2.5 years and finally took the huge step in seeking out professional help. I never wanted to go due to them prying in the past, accusing me, being labled... all kinds of sucky misguidances. Now that I took the plunge, she's totally helping me out. I think you would benefit from it as well. Are you in school? My therapist is through my junior college and I see her bi-weekly. Even though I went originally to work on my body image, she's helping me lessen my perfectionism issues as well as other things I never realized were a bit over the top, he he. I adore her... she makes me work and for that, I'm grateful.
3. I second the recommendation of The Secret. The movie, although documentary in nature, is amazing! I need to buy the book.
Good luck Honey.
xoxo
1. Boys are awful. I, too, had my first relationship shortly after surgery. He took advantage of alot and alot I knew was happening, but didn't know how to respond. I've gone through alot of people in search of love and appreciation, but finally have realized I have to see it myself before anyone worthy is going to appreciate me for me.
2. I'm finally seeing a therapist. I've dealt with a roller coaster of emotions for 2.5 years and finally took the huge step in seeking out professional help. I never wanted to go due to them prying in the past, accusing me, being labled... all kinds of sucky misguidances. Now that I took the plunge, she's totally helping me out. I think you would benefit from it as well. Are you in school? My therapist is through my junior college and I see her bi-weekly. Even though I went originally to work on my body image, she's helping me lessen my perfectionism issues as well as other things I never realized were a bit over the top, he he. I adore her... she makes me work and for that, I'm grateful.
3. I second the recommendation of The Secret. The movie, although documentary in nature, is amazing! I need to buy the book.
Good luck Honey.
xoxo
*~*Jaci*~*
The more things the change, the more they're still the same.
Most Active
Recent Topics
