Tuesday, December 2, 2025

118.8 - down another smidge.

The sisters arrive around noon or so. They are lucky that their flight out of Boston is early (7:10) so they avoid the bad weather. But I think it is now supposed to be all rain in Boston so hopefully DD's DD will fly safely too.

The house is clean. Those cleaning ladies were so efficient! Very impressed at how thorough and fast they are. Seems like both the pool services and house cleaning services here in Florida are much more accessible and less expensive than where I have lived up north maybe because there are a lot of customers? Other things like contractors to paint or redo floors, rooms etc. are not always so efficient. There is this thing called Florida time where when contractors tell you it will take 2 weeks you should assume 4 or so. They don't seem concerned about time slippage on stuff like that. Speaking of which they are painting our building and starting it today to take 3-4 weeks (or so). Our next door neighbors have their family coming for Christmas so are not thrilled. I don't understand why it would be started now rather than during the slow season in late spring/summer.

Saw the dermatologist for my annual skin cancer check. He wants me to come every 6 months since I am in the sun so much. He also wants me to have a treatment called photodynamic therapy to kill the precancerous actinic keratosis on my face. A lot more involved than that laser treatment I have had (which is cosmetic only). Your skin actually peels off afterwards. Apparently the skin will look better but mainly it will help avoid skin cancer down the road so is covered by medical insurance. I sure have spent a lot of time at the dermatologist over the last couple of months.

Time for our Justice walk. Have a talkative Tuesday!

Liz, I like your dermatologists plan. Instead of insisting you can't have sun exposure, monitor more frequently. If you can avoid pre cancerous cells from turning into cancers, that's beyond awesome. DH had the less lethal skin cancer, but even so, it took a big hunk out of his face to get all of it removed and he will always have a scar.

Yes, if you haven't seen Man on the Inside, I would definitely give a try. Stars Ted Danson as a widower who gets a job with a private dective agency to investigate a theft in an independent/assisted living complex. It's funny, charming and also poignant. I'm glad they're doing a 2nd season.

DD's plane left at 6:54am this morning, and she is already safely back in Boston. I sent her home with some banana bread, which she said caused her bag to have a secondary search. I say: stop criminalizing banana bread, midwest snacks have as much right to travel as any other food!!

It is 15 degrees today, although the sun is out, and that makes everything cheery when you are safely tucked into a warm house. I'm putzing around the house catching up on a few things, but I will make it to Planet Fitness shortly. DH is going out to lunch with BFF's ex husband when he gets home. The ex is here from Mexico City to help with the grandkids while BFF is out of state. She is fine with DH maintaining a relationship with her ex, and told our kids they should too if they wanted. I don't wish him ill, but have no interest in seeing him. DD and DS say they miss him sometimes (they were teenagers when BFF left him) but do not care to see him either.

Once I finish up a few things, and go work out, I'm looking forward to starting a new book. My to read pile grows every week as I usually find something interesting at St. Vinny's thrift shop.

Liz, I like your dermatologist's plan too. While recovery sounds like it will be more difficult than your recent procedure, your insurance will pay for it, it will help prevent skin cancer and your skin will look better (once it peels off!). Sounds like a win, win situation! Have fun with the SILs, glad they are fairly self sufficient!

DD, I'm so sorry your parents are being difficult about getting the help they need. Maybe attack it with the angle of once on Hospice all medicines, medical supplies and medical equipment are "free". She would most likely get at least weekly in home visits for care, maybe more! I was surprised at how much stuff we got and if more was needed, all I had to do was ask! I like that you tried to explain she is already on the journey even if she doesn't want to accept it!

15 degrees! Yuck! I feel cold when it is below 70 these days.

You must make criminally amazing banana bread! I used to travel to Seattle on business every 6 months and frequently I would purchase quite a bit of this great cheese from Beechers. Whenever I did, my bag was also searched. Probably looked like some sort of plastic explosive on the x-ray?

202.0 Basically the same weight for 3 days in a row (201.9, 201.9, 202.0...) Can't complain. But I am still working on slowly getting below 200 for my surgery.

Speaking of the surgery, I may have made a mistake by watching a facelift video on YouTube. I was okay with the cutting, but the metal "stick" that was being shoved back and forth was rather disconcerting. Now I have questions for the surgeon about the procedure. In my youtubing I found a fantastic surgeon in San Diego whose facelifts start at only $142,000! Can you imagine????

I tried a thing yesterday. I set a timer and worked on my office clutter for set amount of time. It worked well. I felt like I got a little bit accomplished and made a dent in the work.

Yesterday was a productive day. We put off puppy tails and dew claws until yesterday, so that's how I started the day. Then I went to visit with my dad. After a good visiti, I went home, made some lunch, worked in the office, went to the bank, had a good session with my trainer, got home fed the dogs and then took Ron to dinner at a local Italian place that has a Meatball Monday special, came home and watched cop shows on TV.

As for Dad, he was having a GREAT day. Very chatty and asking about things. Sadly, he was feeling incarcerated and wanted to know to whom he needed to speak to have his sentence reduced. Once I got to the bottom of it, I understood he was unclear why he had a tracking bracelet on his wrist and that led him to believe he was jailed. Once I explained (again) that it was because he sometimes roamed "in his sleep" at night he understood it was for his personal safety and relaxed. After a beat he started the next conversation with, "When people ask you my age, what is your answer?" I told him 96. I asked him what he tells people who ask his age. He replied, "I tell them I don't know. But I can tell you the year I was born and you can figure it out." I asked him what year he was born and he smiled and rattled off 1920.....9. Next subject was getting a dog so he'd have a reason to get outside and walk. I suggested we revisit that in the spring when the weather was better. He agreed. Next, we worked on TV remote skills, too. I like his good days.

Diamond D, I'm sorry your mom is so hesitant to accept hospice care. Maybe she would be more amenable to palliative care? My dad now has palliative care through his HMO. It's FANTASTIC. It's like wellness hospice care, really. My mom avoided hospice until her cancer had progressed to the point that she was physically exhausted and mentally. I don't think she had hospice for even two weeks, but she was fairly young - 67 - so I understood her wish to fight and maintain life.

Dishwasher installer is coming between 11 and 2 to fix our dishwasher which is rocking forward when the door is opened. I will work more on the office clutter, get a workout in and trim on Buster. He is in desperate need!

And today is Taco Tuesday.... Not sure we will taco, but I love saying it!

This Hospice thing is so aggravating to me, because not one treatment she currently has would be discontinued. She already signed off last year on no new cancer treatment. She does not want physical therapy. She may possibly qualify for dialysis in the future. She says she does not want to do that, but if she hanged her mind, she could stop Hospice. It's so hard to sit with her while she cries about how awful everything is and she can't get any help, and she needs more help etc. If she doesn't want to be in Hospice, then pay for some home health aides. But they won't do that either. Sigh. The situation she is in is devastating. But so much of it is their own choosing.

20 some years ago, they were in Illinois when my Dad had a massive heart attack, that ended with a quintuple bypass. My Mom got him to the hospital, where they stabilized him with an angioplasty. She spent the next two days before he had surgery torturing me with conversations such as, we want him to have the surgery in Minnesota. We'll get an air mattress and put it in the back of the Bronco and I'll drive him home. If he dies on the way, at least I can hold him in my arms and say goodbye. WTF?! Finally my aunt pointed out that if they left the hospital against medical advice, insurance wouldn't pay for a bypass in Minnesota if they were even able to make it there. So my Dad agreed finally to have the surgery there, at a super good hospital that was part of the University of Illinois system. But this is the way they think. They are not normal.

Normally when they are crying, yelling, complaining about their situation, ( all the situations that have occurred in my life with them) I can step back emotionally and say, they are choosing this. It just gets so hard when solutions are within reach, and they still say no. I lose my shield of detachment. How bad their current situation is, I cannot describe. It's too awful and would feel like a betrayal. Suffice it to say DD told me she has had only one client as difficult as them, and she works with homeless veterans who are often addicted and suffering from PTSD.

But, maybe they will surprise me and accept the help that is being offered tomorrow.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent. I am trying to pick up my shield again, so I can go on with my week.

WOW! Just wow. It is very hard to read this. They seem to share a joint dysfunction. Not much you can do when they both support each other's dysfunctional thinking and behavior. Does your brother see the dysfunction, too, or is he so used to it that he overlooks it?

No, he sees it. My Dad still likes to talk about the time when he wanted to do something with my nephew, and DB laid out a bunch of rules, and said to him you're a careless, careless man. I think he couldn't believe he was being called out. DB says he no longer invests in any belief that they will choose a sensible path but also adds, we do have to take care of them though.

Maybe the fact that they are at least listening is a good sign? There are lots of sayings about how you should just let them get what is coming to them, but I know that isn't possible. So frustrating and hard to deal with family members who can't accept what is happening to them and take the help they need.

I love that your Dad asked you how you would answer the question about his age instead of just asking how old am I? I also like his response that he doesn't know his age but knows his birth year and they could do the math if so inclined! Good days are the best!

Nice redirection on the dog inquiry!