star dust
September 25, 2017
11 years later....
November 8,2006
I totally need to update this profile. I am down 55 pounds in the last year. I am so so so happy with my band, it does exactly what I expected it to do! I'm very happy with my weight loss especially since I've spent the last year sick with illnesses unrelated to my lapband :)
November 4, 2005
Surgery Story
My fiance and I arrived at the hospital at 8am on November 1st. I check into admitting, get my wrist band and then go over to the family liason center to meet with another pre-op nurse. She checks my vitals and tells me someone will be buzz me at around 10am to be taken down for surgery. I wait and wait, take a nap and then at 12:30 I ask what the schedule is looking like for my surgery. My surgeon had an emergency that morning and I would need to keep waiting. Around 2pm I think is when I finally got taken down for surgery. I changed into my johnny and spent the rest of the time sweet talking with my fiance before the anistegiologist came and inserted my IV. Shortly after he told my FH that it was time for me to go back and he gave him my glasses. Then, the anistegiologist came back and said it would be another 15 minutes. At that point, I got nervous. I started to get really anxious and nervous but thankfully I didn't freak out or anything. Soon after, I did get wheeled into the OR, climbed onto the operating table, was given an oxigen mask and was operated on. My FH was called at the patient liason center after surgery and was told the first incision wasn't made until 3:45! Wow.. that was SO long to wait! I woke up from surgery feeling grumpy and tired and then I got sick. Uncontrollable throwing up that just went everywhere. I have no idea even where this liquid came from because I hadn't had anything to drink all day. While throwing up I also peed so the nurses cleaned me all up. I was straining to open my eyes and I saw my fiance sitting next to me :D I was asked constantly how my pain level was and it was practically non existant! Soon I was told they were going to bring me to my room and I remember being very alert and smiling to my nurses as I was being wheeled through my floor. I got to my room and noticed how AWESOME the view was.. 15 floors above Boston, the lights were beautiful. I got a private room. I told the nurse my fiance was going to be staying with me and she brought him in a cot and set him up! So Nice!! I noticed my mouth tasted and felt so aweful so this is where the listerine breath strips and Burts Bees lip balm came into play. That combined with the mouth swabs seemed to help until I was able to drink late the next day.
I did well with the pain pump I was on, I didn't use it much. My fiance left after I was settled in my room so he could go back and let our dog out. I grabbed a pillow and turned to my side and fell asleep for awhile. Woke up read some magazines and then when he got back I finally started walking the halls. I felt great, it didn't seem like I had just had surgery. I walked until I started to feel dizzy, then we came back to the room and slept until the next morning. My surgeon's team came into visit with me and take a look at my incisions. I fell back asleep for a little while and then by 8:30 I was up and dressed and had my hair back and satin jammy shorts on and I was walking the halls again. When I came back I washed up and jumped back into bed to read. Sometime before noon I was taken down for my swallow test which wasn't untolerable or uncomfortable. I went back to my room and waited waited waited. My girlfriend Jen, came and visited around five and then my surgeon came by and finally at around 4 or 5 I was given water and at around 6 I was given a tray with broth, tea, a popsicle and some juice! YAY! I did well with it, didn't feel sick, didn't feel like I drank anything too fast. At 8pm I was discharged with my 'scripts and instructions. I walked out by myself, downstairs to where my fiance waited with the car.
The ride home was painless for about the first 45 minutes but then I started to feel pretty sore. The bouncing and turning put all kinds of pressure on my organs and incisions and I was soon getting very ready to be home. I still had to fill my scripts and ended up having a hard time finding a 24 hour pharmacy to fill my pain meds. Nobody had that much on hand and they wanted my doctor to rewrite the 'script or for me to come back in a couple of days. At this point I was really feeling the pain and I ended up yelling and swearing at the clerk that it wasn't an option at all and if she couldn't fill it she needs to call and find a pharmacy that can fill the whole script right now - more then one CVS that could fill 2 days worth tonight if I got the DR to rewrite the script. Finally, just down the road another CVS could fill it so we went and waited around again. I didn't end up getting home until 1am.. I was so sore and crabby! But, lovely Roxicet helped with that. I slept fine.
The next morning I woke up sore and a little shaky. Shortly after I got up I got sick. Since then I have felt great.. every day gets a little bit better. I start my mornings off with a cup of warm tea. Then I alternate through the day.. water and protein. I feel amazing~!
October 31, 2005
This is from a reply I posted in the lapband community.
Well.. I can tell you how I've spent my last week. I got my hair done. I cleaned my house from top to bottom. I made my bedroom super comfortable I updated my will. I got all my skinny clothes ready. I threw away any clothes that were too big, that fit but I didn't like or that I never wanted to wear again. I practiced eating like a bandster. I ordered chick movies from Netflix. I told my fiance 1 million times I loved him. I told my dog the same :D Tonight I made several casseroles so my sweetheart would have food for this week and I made some soups that he could have and I could drink the broth from. That way we're still eating together I finished up all the laundry, packed my bag, did a double check for what I'll need at the hospital. In about two hours I'm going to take a bath, shave and give myself a pedicure. My fiance will get home after work at 4am and get me up to Boston for 8am. I'm SO excited!
October 30, 2005
Friday night I cleaned like a mad women. My fiance came home and wasn't happy with me at all because he said I did way too much. I've felt so good since I got the Iron IV and I went nuts getting our bedroom ready to be comfortable in. I nested like crazy. Saturday was a tough day emotionally, I just felt that I was easy to frustrate and lost my patience quickly as well. I didn't get to sleep until 5am Sunday morning and was back awake at 8:30. I'm getting nervous but I've got all my friends close to me and I'm prepared for this journey.
October 28, 2005
Yesterday I had a final visit with Dr. Vernon and today was a pre op appointment and blood draw. I'm happy to report my HCT has risen to 32.. that's so awesome. Everything is in place for Tuesday!
October 26, 2005
The colonoscopy came back normal so I was sent to a hematologist. She confirms I have iron deficient anemia and I get an IV of iron. Still don't know yet why I'm anemic but I'm closer to knowing. Well, relatively speaking since we have to wait a few months to see what my body does with this iron. She said I should be ok for surgery but recommends a blood transfusion. I really think this is going to happen next Tuesday!!
October 14, 2005
The biopsy from the EGD came back normal. I found a new PCP who I saw on October 3rd. He wrote me out of work indefinently, scheduled me to have a colonoscopy and decided not to draw any blood because he didn't feel I had the blood to spare. I started taking iron suppliments. I met with my OB-GYN on Wed and he advised that my anemia is not due to heavy periods, however he is going to measure my fibroid tumor again just to see where it's at. He also scheduled a mammogram. SO.. somewhere somehow there has to be an answer why I am SO anemic. I met with my surgeon today so she could talk about all the testing I've been through and to see if we could figure anything out. She said that if I was older she would be convinced I had colon cancer. That's nice to hear, huh? She wants an answer as to why my levels have dropped so low but it looks like if there is no clear cut answer I'm a go for surgery Nov 1. Her main concern is my stomach and everything with that looks okay!
September 28, 2005
I had my EGD done today. We went up to the hospital for a 7:30 appointment. Had an IV inserted and then was brought into the examination room. Whatever was put into the IV was light and I didn't pass out totally but I wasn't very aware of what was going on. I don't remember much from the surgery but I did ask the doctor if she saw anything abnormal. She said no and she said she took a byopsy of my stomach and results would be back in a week. It took me awhile to come to, then I stopped by my doctor's office to fill out some paperwork, puked in the parking garage and came home. Then I slept all day and into the night.
September 27, 2005
Surgery rescheduled for November 1st. My pre op blood work shows I've got some sort of internal bleeding going on so tomorrow morning I have to have a camera put down my throat to see what's going on. :( I've been written out of work until further notice because my blood levels are so low. I'm bummed. :(
September 26, 2005
Update time. My pre-op appt with Dr. Vernon went well. She's a really nice and knowledgeable surgeon and I have a great deal of confidence in her. She reviewed my blood work results and noticed I tested positive for H. Pylori. She also said my iron levels were very low, I was anemic and I was Vit. D deficient. I started on a script of triple antibiotics to treat the HPY. Everything has been going forward and my surgery date is scheduled for tomorrow! My Dr's office called on Friday afternoon to say that the second set of bloodwork drawn shows my hematacrit levels to be dropped so I have to get in for more blood work. I have a feeling that I'm still going to have surgery to morrow. Of course I'm a wide mix of emotions.. I'm wondering if I'm doing something crazy, something dangerous or something unncessary. Then I feel that I'm ready as all hell to go forward with this.. I've researched, I've shopped, my house is clean I have time approved off for work and I qualify for FMLA. I'm ready to start this new life.
August 25, 2005
I called my doctor's office last week to ask for an appointment to see Dr. Vernon. At that point I had lost 8 pounds and I was certain in two weeks I'd be down the required 15. I got my appointment with Dr. Vernon scheduled for September 1, my pre-op appointment is scheduled for the same day and my sugery date is September 27. I'm so happy and scared!!!!!!
August 12, 2005
Copy of a post I made on the OH board:
Yay! My doctor *finally* gave me some hope
Some of you may know that I've been going around and around with the office staff at my Dr's office trying to get both information and appointment dates set as well as my letter of medical necessity sent out. Finally.. after a month and a half of going around my doctor's office called me yesterday to tell me to call in when I've lost ten more pounds and they'll give me a surgery date! YAY!! I've felt so out of control this past month or so and it feels awesome to finally have some control over the journey I'm on. Please please please send encouragement and prayers this way!! I'm praying the ten pounds sheds quickly. I made a pot of no salt all veggie soup this morning and also bought CIB and sugar free jello.
July 27,2005
Following is a copy of the email I sent to Dr. Vernon this morning.
Hi Dr. Vernon,
Please excuse the lengthy email but I wanted to take some time to let you know about the experiences I've had with your office since I met with you on June 6th.
June 6th - I called and left messages and waited for a call back for five days before I decided to email Natalie Egan and ask if she knew who I needed to contact to get appointments made. At that point I wasn't sure I had the right number. That same day I finally got a hold of Sharon in the afternoon and was able to get a nutrition appointment made for the middle of July but she would contact me back about a psych appointment.
June 13th - I got an email from Sharon that your office was looking for candidates for webcast surgery and Sharon was looking to get appointments made for people interested in this. I received the email after five pm and replied telling her I would be interested and giving her my updated contact information. I talked to Sharon the morning of June 14th and told her I wasn't able to make the appointments that day and she said she'd see what she could do. Michele called later the morning of June 14th to ask if I could make the nutrition/psych appointment that afternoon I explained that I couldn't because I work nights and I have to sleep during the days or modify my schedule to fit appointments in. She then said I wasn't a candidate for the webcast surgery and that your office would be contacting me.
Two days (Thursday June 16)later I received an email from Michele saying that you would like me to meet with a dietician that following Monday. I was confused as to why I was wanted at this appointment and why I was being told to go rather then asked if I was free on that day. On two occasions I had provided your office with my vacation dates and that Monday was included in with those dates. I emailed her back stating that I was going to be out of the country and she said she would try to get me in for the next appointment on June 27. I replied asking if these were appointments for the July 27th surgery date and she never answered my question. Thankfully, after I asked she let me know that I was seeing both the dietician and the psych the same day.
June 27th - I came in for the appointments and then tried to ask the receptionist at the front why I was having my appointments now rather then when they had been scheduled in July and finally Michele allowed me to come back and talk to her. She was very dismissive with my questions and I was looking for very simple information. Was I going to these appointments for there being a possability of the July 27th surgery date or not? At this point we were looking at less then one months time frame. Am I going to have to let my work know right now about needing to take a week off or not? Should I hold off sending out the deposit for our wedding photographer so I had some extra money? Michele said that I was still being considered for the surgery date of July 27th but wouldn't know if I would be a good candidate until the information from the psych and nutritionist came back and my insurance company gave an approval or denial.
July 5th - I called the office to ask if the recommendations from the nutritionist and the psych were received and we were still waiting for the psych to respond.
July 6th - I inquired again and Michele stated that she was able to download the recommendation from the Psych and all the paperwork was a go and she would be submitting it to my insurance company that day. She said that there were two other tentative dates that I could go on - August 4th or August 9th which was for the other candidates that wouldn't be able to go on July 27th. I called my insurance company that same day to ask how long approval or denials take and they said 24-48 hours they fax back the answer. I made arrangements at work to take a week off - my co worker cancels her vacation during the week of July 27th in case I need to go that week.
July 8th - I contacted my insurance company to ask where we were in the approval process and I was told they never received paperwork. I emailed Michele and she replied back that day stating that July 27th was always tentative and after speaking with you that I was no longer considered a candidate for the webcast surgery and that your office would be in contact with me once they have a new date to offer.
July 12th - I email Michele to ask if we are still waiting for a surgery date for me and she says yes and going forward I would be talking with Sharon at your main number.
July 18th I call Sharon to see where I was in the waiting process. She said she had just gotten my chart back from Michele, that my letter of medical necessity was never put together and also asked why i canceled my upper GI appointment on July 14th. This appointment was news for me because the appointment was never communicated to me by Michele whom Sharon says made the appointment. Sharon assures me that, since from all she can see that it seems Michele didn't send out the letter of medical necessity (I knew it didn't go out and I told her my insurance company didn't get any paperwork), that my paperwork would go to the insurance company that day and that she would call me back with an appointment for my upper GI.
July 20th - I call Sharon. My insurance company still hasn't gotten the paperwork, why am I waiting so long for an appointment and what is going on with my upper GI appointment? Sharon states that she never said she'd get to it on Monday she wasn't going to give me a day when she would be finished with it because then "you will be fixated on that date" and that I just have to be patient. I tried to communicate with her that I am very very concerned with the lack of productive communication we had been experiencing. I am concerned that if I have this surgery and I need to talk to the office about something important that I won't be listened to or that I will be given misinformation or that I will be ignored. Sharon stated that she was here to listen. She then asked if I was working on loosing 15lbs because I couldn't have surgery without that and I reminded her about the upper GI appointment and got that scheduled.
July 27th - My insurance paperwork still hasn't been filed. I called and left a message with Audrey to have Sharon return my call.
Dr. Vernon, what should I do? My co worker, Nellie, has an appointment with you the beginning of August and she's also worried because of the problems in communication I've had with the office. She said she's dissapointed and liked you a lot when she met you at the info seminar but doesn't want to go through what I've been going through. I'm really at a standstill and don't know what to do.
Thank you for reading my email,
Xxxxxxxx
July 13, 2005
I'm totally disappointed with my Surgeon's office. :/ On Friday I called my insurance company to see if they had approved my sugery (I was told the surgen's office will get a faxed decision 24-48 hours after receiving the faxed paperwork.) As of Friday they hadn't gotten the paperwork - which was confusing since Michele told me on Wednesday she was faxing it right away and then gave me the tentative dates that I wrote about earlier. I sent an email since luckily the office commicates fairly well by email and I got a response back that afternoon. Somehow between Wednesday and Friday Michele talked with Dr. Vernon and emailed to say that I am not only no longer a canidate but that I should wait to hear from them about a surgery date. Still no word from the office and an email I sent today went unanswered. It been a huge hurry up and wait process which is bad enough but add that people have rearranged schedules and vacations at work to help me with this - and I'm having to pull teeth to get informaton communicated to me. One day I was told my nutrition appt was in August. Then I get two phone calls and an email in one day (I work nights) trying to contact me because they want the appts changed to the NEXT day and to find someone for this webcast. Then they tell me I'm not a canidate because I couldn't make it that day. Which is very very fine because I haven't made any arrangements to have the surgery that quickly. Then I get another pointed email on a Wed. telling me my appts would be that following Monday - the dates I had alread told the office I would be out of the country. They schedule my appts the next Monday and tell me then I'm still a canidate for the webcast surgery barring that I get the approval from the Pysch and the nutritionist and my insurance company. Now that it came to the insurance company being the last approval in the process the office has stopped me short. Two weeks ago I went to my boss with what I feel was a lame request.. to get myself put on the vacation schedule the last minute but I wasn't sure if it was sure going to happen?? I'm really frustrated and my hopes keep getting built up and then let down. I'm really concerned about having this level of communication post-op. What hoops will I have to jump through if I need help?
July 8th, 2005
If all goes well, I should hear from my insurance company about being approved for surgery. Everything looks like it's a go for my surgery being webcasted. The three tentative dates I've been given is July 27, August 4 or August 10. Isn't that totally awesome!
I also forgot to mention that I got engaged on June 20th! YAY!! My beautiful fancy and I also moved into a wonderful house.. no more apartment living for us. This year has been such a blessing.. so wonderful.
June 15, 2005
I have about an hour left until I go get my bloodwork done - both for Dr. Vernon and for my physical scheduled next week. I ate at 10:30 last night so my fasting time should be good.
The apointment with Dr. Vernon went well. I was weighed - found out I have gained 65.5 pounds since last year! OooF! I knew I was out of control. I will never be the 333 pound person I was just a few years ago.. this is going to stop. The body I'm living in isn't me. I don't move like me, I don't dress like me. I'll be back soon though, I'm way confident in that.
This past Monday Dr. Vernon's office tried to reach me to see if I would be interested in having my surgery on July 27th and having the surgery webcasted. I was totally interested but I'm not sure if they can get my appointments in time. If not, according to what Dr. V told me last week I'd be looking at having my surgery in three months. My nutrition consult is July 14th.
I'm doing awesome with my eating. I've stopped binging and that in itself is a huge and wonderful relief!
June 4, 2005
Yay, the day looms near! My first appointment with Dr. Vernon :) My eating habits have been becoming increasingly less destructive. I've stopped binging. No more multiple drive throughs. Less iced coffee before work, no more breakfast sammichs. I've been cooking almost every day and making meals very similiar to what I was eating on Weight Watchers. I'm moving more and have stopped feeling dizzy like I was experiencing at night. Some days I've had scary moments, worried about what I was getting into. Other days I've been holding onto the hope that my strength coupled with the band will keep my binging at bay. Two days until I meet with my Surgeon.. let's go!
May 17, 2005
Wow.. this waiting is pretty unbearable. I've stopped eating everything in sight but I have started eating candy!? What the heck I've never been a candy eater. Three weeks away. Three more weeks of waiting until I can finally see Dr. Vernon and start the process. I've only had fleeting thoughts of, "what am I doing" but I know I'm making a right decision.
May 4, 2005
I feel better today as did yesterday and the day before that. I've resolved in my head that..yeah, you know life sucks sometimes. I'm going through an emotional journey now missing my mom. However, I'm not going to cure myself with food. I'm not not and I'm taking away that option to do that anymore. I'm not going to sabatoge myself starting right now. Not at the beginning of June when I meet with Dr. Vernon and not during the months prior to my surgery. I started taking the stairs at work yesterday. I'm going to walk laps up and around our building for most of my lunch. I'm going to eat healthy and I'm going to move my body and I'm going to dig myself out from this fort I eat myself into.
April 30,2005
I think that my mom dieing has caused an emotional impact on me that I'm on just now starting to feel. I was in denial the first few weeks of April.. I couldn't believe how hurtful and hateful my family was after she died. I can't believe I am without my mom and dad and sister in the world. Why did they all die so young, ,leaving me so young and so alone? I think this is why I feel so much that I just don't have much care .. I'm feeling so down. I want to cry and cry and cry and cry.
April 30, 2005
I keep wondering.. can I really do this? I know that I can loose a lot of weight naturally.. can I deal with the inconviences of a lapband to let the resriction work for me to stay at a healthy weight? I get scared, then I get impatient because I want to be starting the process now. Am I a bad person for not telling anyone? The reality is that I lost on Weight Watchers with the same quickness that I'm expected to loose with the band.
April 28, 2005
Yay for me for turning myself around in the kitchen and not getting something to eat. One way or another - that will have to be my reality for the rest of my life. I've been overeating and such large large portions. Stop! It's not helping!
April 25,2005
Today I swung from, "oh my god, wtf am I thinking getting this surgery" to yeah, I'm going to be ok. I got a little scared.. but I got somewhat scared about a lot of grown up decisions I'm mulling over right now.
April 24, 2005
I feel so much frustation right now. I'm tired of myself.. I know what I can be, I know what I can be and I know I can get control of my life. So why do I sabatoge myself? I think there's a voice inside of me that continues to say, "you're not worth it"
April 21,2005
It might have something to do with the upcoming full moon but I'm full of unrest and anxiety. I did well by not overeating though. Every day I'm trying to be a bit more mindful of what and how I'm eating and how it will be different after I have the surgery.
On Tuesday I went to the info seminar at Brigham Hospital.
It's odd.. a few years ago I was very much against Weight Loss Surgery. For the simple fact that it's often marketed as such a luring and shiny quick fix for people that are overweight. That opinion didn't change much after going to this seminar but I was futher convinced to go ahead with the lapband surgery. I know that I have to work hard at it.. I've worked hard at loosing the weight I'm down so far and I'm ready to keep going. I need help going forward though, and I need help keeping it off.
The surgeon discredited the Lapband surgery. Someone had asked about a rumour they heard that people with lapband surgery have to exercise 30 minutes a day and the surgen replied with, "no one is going to be at your door with a stopwatch saying you have two more minutes to go. No, you don't have to exercise 30 minutes a day" But, he never, ever stressed that people HAVE to incorporate healthy eating and healthy exercise into their lifestyles. He didn't stress at all that this was going to be a big lifestyle change. That is what we all are going to need to do to get this weight off and keep it off. Wicked annoying.. So many people there didn't have any idea about what was ahead for them and I worried if they would get all the information necessary to make the best decision for themselves.
I was told that I would be able to have sushi again (YAY!). I'm excited about the lapband, it really feels like the safest and most useful tool available via surgery so I can take the rest of my weight off and continue the rest of my life as a healthy woman.
April 19, 2005
Today I will be going to the informational seminar at Brigham Womens Hospital. It will run from 6-8pm and then I'll go to work.. which is just down the road in Cambridge. (I work nights) I'm excited and very very curious. I feel like this seminar will seal my decision about having any kind of WLS. I was so against it for so long. Very outspoken. I lost so much weight by working out and eating so healthy. The quality of the food isn't the problem though.. it's the quanity. I'm a compulsive overeater and I need help. I need some sort of help to finish loosing the rest of my weight and most importantly to keep it off.
April 12, 2005
I've scheduled dates for both the information session through Brigham Women's Hospital as well as the first appointment with Dr. Vernon on June 6th. I'm getting lots of good feedback about my health insurance, Harvard Pilgram. Melissa, with Dr. Vernon's office said I could have the surgery by summers end. Whoa!
April 13, 2005
My PCP called to let me know they are sending the referral up to Dr. Vernon's office at Brigham. I also left a message with Melissa at Dr. V's office to give her my registration number and to talk to her about my first appointment. I forget that I am flying out to California that day so perhaps I'll either have to push my date out further or maybe something will come up sooner. I'm not in a huge rush to get the surgery done. I'm taking the steps right this second to lead a heathier lifestyle - I've spent the last two days hiking and my kitchen is filled with healthy and nutritious foods. Two years ago I started to change my life by changing how I eat and learning to love exercise which I still do. I dropped from 333 pounds down to 220 pounds and I felt great however, I have an eating disorder - I have tendencies to be a horrable binger and this has to get under control. Something more then just what my therapy is doing. One of my biggest concerns is my Pysch evaluation. I don't know how I will present my eating disorder as well show him that I am making the lifelong commitment to live a healthy lifestyle. I also have a history of self abuse, I have serious scars on my arms from past instances of cutting myself from not handling stress and pressure . In my defense, in the past year my mother has died, my sister has died, my three year relationship came to an end.. I found myself living 3500 miles away from my original home because I followed my then boyfiend out to New England. My dad is also dead. I have never felt so alone in my life. Now I'm surrounded by the awesome support of friends and a very comforting and loving man who has asked me to marry him. Since my last self injury incident in August of 2004, I stopped the three anti depressants/anxiety medication my Psych had me on and I feel so much healthier in my mind. I remember being in the hospital waiting for someone to come in and stitch me up and I said to myself, "Courtney, no doctor and no pill is going to help save you - you are going to have to find the strength to save yourself" Saving myself is exactly what I'm doing now.
April 13 2005
OOps.. I am clear for my consult appointment June 6th. I'm flying out June 16th not June 6th so I don't have to reschedule. Wow, so that's like what.. a month and a half away? I've heard so many horror stories about people needing to wait years for all of this to happen. I also talked to Melissa about cost of fills since I've been reading other stories of people paying SO much for them! ($200+ per fill). My first 6 weeks of fills are covered and then after that I only have to pay my copay for my office visit. Yay! I need to start doing research about what I will and won't be able to eat leading up to and following surgery.
