2 Days Before Surgery

Oct 24, 2011

Today is Monday, October 24, 2011.

I feel like it's the first day of the beginning of a new life.  Why?  My surgery is scheduled for Wednesday - October 26th - 2 days to go.

My story is simple - I'm obese.

Obese is a word that I've never used.  Growing up was not easy. I've been a big girl almost all of my life. In school, I would be picked on because of my weight. It wasn't until high school when I joined the swim team and the co-captain of the step team was when I was able to show what a big girl could actually do . I was shown more respect. With that lesson, I learned to love myself more.  After high school, I met more overweight people and found them to be comfortable in their own skin.  I've been a Fine Big Girl, thanks to Monique, and other adjectives that said it's acceptable to be overweight.  I haven't had any rejection issues because I've taken control of my space and who I allowed in my space.  For example, I only friended other overweight females.  Or, I just do me.  I take care of nails, feet, and hair and that made me feel good. 

Men, that's a different story.  Yes, I have been rejected/overlooked.  After the high school experience of earning respect, I became a more confident Big Girl.  I developed a certain sassy attitude to match.  Now I realize that is how I coped. 

Since going to school for nursing and developing high blood pressure myself, I've seen first hand and experienced what obesity is doing to my body and health.  Reality didn't sink in until I saw my weight at almost 400 lbs.  That's when I knew and decided to do something.  

I never thought about doing weight loss surgery until my externship at St Alexis Newstart Bariactric Center.  Here, I was able to meet, see, and hear about everything - different procedures, how it affected different people.  I guess you can say - I had an upper hand advantage.  It helped a lot to talk to different people about the surgery and influenced my decision to have the surgery.   

My fear about the weight loss surgery is:

How will I feel? 
Will I think this was right for me?
After my 6 mos. post op - How will I look? 
How will I feel about my saggy skin?

The doctor and friends tell me that I shouldn't have a problem with saggy skin because I'm only 23 yrs. old.  But let's be real??

I'm writing this post to open a dialogue that will allow us to discuss different things.  
1.  I would appreciate a conversation with anyone having had similar experiences or fears. 
2.  I'd like to hear if you feel that I've sold out or if I've made the best decision for me. 
3.  I want to know about your saggy skin experience. 
4.  For those who opted to not have plastic surgery - how did you resolve the problem or did you?
5.  For those who opted to have plastic surgery, how much did it cost and how long after surgery did you have it done?   

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