Wishful.Thinking

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Greetings all!

I know that this profile hasn't been touched in over three years, but I thought I'd give a brief overview of what life has been like 'on the other side' for me for four years after my gastric bypass.

In the beginning, I had my Roux-en-Y bypass to help me lose weight that was associated with having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Until July 2007, I had been gaining weight steadily despite all the doctor supervised diets I tried; there was once a whopping seven (yes, seven) pound loss once.  Aside from that, I just kept gaining and it seemed as though there was nothing I could do.  Birth control pills, Provera (progesterone pills), and Metformin (glucophage) were all ineffective at regulating the PCOS and so I opted for an extreme answer to the problem: my gastric bypass.

I went to Dr. Afram's office in Washington, D.C. where I was very happy with his services and his staff.  He has so many wonderful people working for him that it made this nervewracking experience so much better.  I felt that I could trust his team and was willing to put my life in his hands.  I have never been dissatisfied with the level of care that I got from these people and highly recommend them to anyone in the DC Metro area who is looking for a reputable and talented surgeon.

Had surgery in July 2007 and had what seems to be a pretty typical bypass experience aside from the constant bleeding and hormonal issues associated with the PCOS.  As of my last post, I had said that I would be seeing another doctor to address the PCOS issues; I saw both an OB/GYN specialist and a reproductive endocrinologist, followed through with treatments, and my life has never been the same since. 

I took the hormonal treatments that were suggested by the OB/GYN  which resulted in putting my ovaries on hyperdrive; I grew several large cysts (one was 6.5cm in diameter while the other that was on the same ovary was 4cm) and hemmoraged to the point that I was so anemic that when I did end up in the ER, they wanted to give me blood transfusions.  At the same time, I was exposed to mononucleosis (Epstein-Barr virus) and contracted it; it went straight to my liver and spleen and wreaked havoc on everything.  I ended up having mono for eleven (yes, eleven) months and hemmoraghed for five months straight.

I was too weak to work and ended up leaving my job and the DC region just as the economy imploded.  I still deal with the financial ramifications of this; three years later, I am still $11,000 in debt from all of the medical expenses incurred despite having good and stable health insurance coverage throughout the entire period. 

Physicians in my new city (I was forced to move back in with my family) may have great credentials but do not have the same philosophies as those in DC.  Here in my new town, I was treated as just another deadbeat who complained of health problems.  Meanwhile, I am working 60 hours per week in addition to pursuing two professional graduate degrees; I am enrolled in both law and business school, have received scholarships for both programs, and have consistently worked at least 2 and as many as 4 part-time jobs at the same time to make ends meet.  But healthwise, I continued to complain of hemorraging and severe pelvic pain that would literally bring me to my knees.

My concerns were dismissed by ER doctors and the only pain management office in the region; the pain management folks gave me pills, suggested I go for physical therapy for back pain I didn't have and when I did arrange for the physical therapy AT THEIR OFFICE WITH THEIR RECOMMENDED THERAPIST, the woman looked at my records and informed me that she had no idea why I had been sent to her and that she had no idea how to help me without the doctor's instructions.  I took her message back to the doctor who said "Well, you have to go.  Also, why don't you come to our Fibromyalgia school to learn to live with your condition".  So apparently, now I have Fibromyalgia.  The Fibro group sessions were held in the middle of the day during my scheduled law school classes and when I told them that and that I was more concerned about making sure that I received the physical therapy that they recommended, they dismissed me and blew me off.  I never returned again.

I ended up being recommended to a wonderful GYN surgeon who recommended pelvic floor physical therapy which I went to religiously for four months.  Unfortunately, it wasn't really successful and we began to explore other options.  The hemorraging continued to be a serious health problem and finally, I was cleared for a hysterectomy.  I had a total hysterectomy and right oopherectomy in March 2011 during Spring Break.  It was very difficult and painful at times, but I was back at school within two weeks.  Since that surgery, my life has improved dramatically.  With the exception of 2 days per month, the pain is gone (I suppose I was correct when I said it wasn't Fibromyalgia in the first place) and I just feel healthier and more alive than I have in years. 

If you've made it this far, you know that most of my health issues are not RnY related.  However, there are a few that are directly related to the bypass such as:

- I am now hypoglycemic.  After eating a meal with a significant number of carbs or high sugar content (e.g. oatmeal, sandwiches with lots of bread, waffles, pancakes, etc.), my blood sugar will go to about 100 and then will drop 1.5-2 hours later into the 40-50 range.  So I shake, sweat, and become disoriented.  I've seen an endocrinologist for this who believes that this is a direct result of the RnY bypass; he has several patients with the same issue.  I now take Metformin daily to keep my blood sugar levels steady and if I miss a pill or am slightly late in taking it, I pay dearly for it.

- My gallbladder finally mutinied and was thrown overboard.  My gallbladder had stones when I had my RnY in 2007 but due to its location, it was too hard to get out.  In July 2010, I put up with increasing abdominal pain for over a week before I gave up and went to the ER where we discovered that it was surrounded by fluid.  Emergency surgery got it right out of there and I was back to giving presentations and traveling across the country less than a week later.  I have had more food sensitivity post-cholecystectomy and occasional chest pain where it used to be, but there have been no major complications from that. 

- I have not experienced much weight gain post-bypass.  My highest weight was 245 and my lowest was 134; the low point occurred two weeks after my hysterectomy when I hadn't been eating solid foods for 2 weeks and in the three months before that, I hadn't eaten much at all as I was dealing with significant stress with the family and the ending of a serious relationship.  My weight tends to hover between 145 and 150 and I'm pretty happy with that; at 134, the excess skin just looked horrible.

...and down to 164 on my surgeon's scale.  However, my scale at home keeps reading 159-160 and until now has always been two pounds lower than the official reading.  To be honest, I don't really care all that much one way or the other but am wondering if I need to calibrate the stupid thing...

Am still having problems with the hormonal issues and am praying that a specialist I'm seeing this week can offer advice.  I'm afraid that I'm really at a loss as to what else I can do to fix this problem.  The stress of dealing with it is wearing me down.

We've had two months of hell on the family front.  My sister had surgery and ended up in the ICU and the social services for her not only failed to help my family but ended up harassing my mother almost to the point of a heart attack.  It's bad enough having surgery with an autistic kid, but they continued to call and argue and threaten all the time while she was in such great condition (such as urinating blood).  I've decided that I am definitely getting that law degree so that I can threaten and argue with the best of them.  Perhaps being well versed in the art of law suing people will help my sister's case along someday.

Regarding the WLS process, all seems to be well.  I'm off to do more blood work to see how the anemia is going; am waiting to see if the specialist wants more blood work as well so that I can do it all at once.  Am still tired all the time...

The biggest issue with the weight loss is the social ramifications of doing this.  Went home to handle some stuff with my family and ended up seeing many folks for the first time since this process started.  My grandmother didn't recognize me, my mother was shocked, and my best friend from college isn't really speaking to me now (for no reason...we parted on perfectly normal terms but she hasn't responded to emails or anything).  So that is the latest there...this surgery really will change peoples' perception of you.

I thought that I would just put this out there for any of you ladies who are suffering from PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and who might be experiencing the same things as myself.  So any guys out there who do NOT want to read a long discussion on the horrors of the female body should probably bail now.  It was nice having you stop by to visit!

In my background, I've mentioned the PCOS and how I hoped that this surgery would help it resolve itself.  No dice...

In the last six months since I had surgery, I have had some of the worst bleeding episodes that I've ever had in my entire life.  Only one time has been worse thus far (May 2006).  As of now, I have been hemorraghing for the past four days (as in 1 extra volume tampon is soaked through every hour).  The cramps have been so strong that I was unable to walk upright and have been lying in bed for the past several days.  I haven't had any appetite for days and cannot stomach my protein or vitamins; they start coming right back up.  It has been a struggle to stay hydrated.

Last month, I experienced a similar episode the day I was leaving for Orlando.  That time, I was regularly passing blood clots the size of my palm (sorry if it's TMI but I'm just putting it out there) but the cramps were only slightly severe.  Yell at me all you like, but I refused to go to the hospital since I had a flight to catch and knew that I'd probably be better off going to the ER in FL with my mom.  If I had stayed in DC, I wouldn't have had anyone to go to the hospital with me and the last time that happened, things did not end well for me.

This time, the blood clots were minimal but the cramping was so intense that I could literally feel my uterus contracting just by placing my hands on my abdomen.  I've spent three days lying in bed holding my guts in the hope that the pain would subside.  

I was prescribed 800 mg of ibuprofen for this problem before but, now that I've had the bypass, am unable to handle such a large dose of the drug.  I took 400 mg every two hours, but that neither helped with the pain or helped the bleeding to subside.  

So on the third night when the pain was at its peak, I gave up and downed a full dose of Percocet that I had remaining from my post-surgery period.  It was enough to get me through the night.  

As I've been unable to work for the week, I've spent plenty of time online looking for answers to the PCOS problem.  It seems that many of the women who have WLS have already had some success on that front by the time they're as far out of surgery as I am.  To have more problems seems to be rare.

What I've found is that aside from weight loss, the condition is treated with hormonal therapy (BC pills or Provera), Metformin, or a variety of surgical methods with limited success.  I'm not planning on conceiving so Clomid and assorted fertility drugs are not being considered.

I've been on BC pills and they have given me such severe morning sickness that I've thrown up regularly on a daily basis.  Changing prescriptions never mattered; I do NOT want to be on the pill again.

Provera gave me a blood clot the last time they prescribed it to me.  I'm not going to use that again either.

I spent a few months on Metformin and had no results other than the period I currently have that has lasted for nearly a year thus far (started in Feb 07 and I've had two weeks off in the entire year).  That made me sick and constantly tired.

Surgical options are now the ones that are left.  I've heard that ovarian drilling of the cysts helps with fertility but the symptoms come back after a few months; please correct me if I'm wrong about this, but I don't think this will help my cause.  

There's the bilateral ovarian wedge which is where they hack off part of each ovary and for whatever reason, this seems to help regulate things within a few months.  There are fertility issues with this, but this is the treatment I'm considering begging for.

Finally, there's ablation of the uterus which basically burns away the lining and stops the bleeding; it does not affect the ovaries and thus does not solve the major problem but should help with one symptom of it.  Howver, there's a major fertility issue with this as the uterus is destroyed as far as having children is concerned.

I'm expecting to have issues with my doctors when I go in and beg for help next month.  I'm only 23 and nobody is willing to take my word that children are not in my future.  I love kids, but I have a severely disabled sister who is autistic; there is no way I'm going to take such a risk of having a similar child myself particularly as they are finding more genetic links to the disorder every day.  And forgive me for sounding callous, but if you think about it in Darwinian terms my PCOS issues could very well be a sign from nature to NOT procreate.  As it is, there is no way I could possibly conceive naturally with my body being so screwed up.  I genuinely believe that no matter how much I love kids, I'm not meant to have any of my own.

So here's the reason why I'm posting this other than getting the rant out of my system - do any of you know of any other treatment that I've missed?  Are there any other methods for treating PCOS that you have heard of or experienced yourself?  Any input at all on this?

Just got back from my sixth month follow-up appointment with my surgeon and, given that I'm typing this, I'm not yet dead!

Really, I know I take the quoting Monty Python thing a little far but it's the only way I can get through the day sometimes...

Am 73 pounds down and that is with two full layers of clothing on; am freezing to death and need to dress in layers.  Still, that much lost is rather impressive in my opinion especially when you consider how much I started out at.  Oh, and the BMI is 29.5...am officially overweight!  :-)

For ladies out there, here's some reassuring news that the hair loss has stopped (since ~5 months) and all is well with that front.  My recipe for success is the full Nioxin treatment (shampoo, conditioner, scalp treatment) + TONS of biotin + Rogaine.  Nobody except for my mother, hair dresser, and I noticed that it thinnned.  The hair dresser didn't notice until he brushed through it and clumps were coming off in his hands (~3 months out).

Unfortunately, things are not all fine and dandy on the home or work fronts; am still killing myself to make the production numbers and family issues are coming to a head next week (my sister is heading into surgery).  Working 14-16 hour workdays really takes a toll and one thing I can say about this surgery is that it really has taken away my ability to abuse my body to the nth degree.  There were times in college that I went without sleep or food, but now I'm ready to collapse if I forget to eat regularly.  I've taken to keeping cup-o-soups and peanut butter crackers in my office just so there is something at hand when I'm desperate.  There is a Lentil/Couscous soup available from Whole Foods that has ~12g protein which isn't bad for instant soup.

Aside from a few setbacks over the holidays, all has been well on the physical front.  Went to Orlando with my family and realized that there is absolutely nothing for us to eat at amusement parks; EVERYTHING is deep fried.  We would go to the parks after having lunch and when dinner rolled around, I found that I couldn't really eat anything.  I ended up surviving off of pretzels and popcorn until I could get something better once we left the parks.

Am still having major issues with the PCOS side of things despite the weight loss.  Ended up with severe bleeding right before I was supposed to leave for the trip and was weighing the options of going to the ER or chancing the flight.  Decided that I didn't want to spend Christmas in the hospital and that if things were really serious, I'd rather be around my mother.  So I went to Orlando and spent the first part of the trip drained and exhausted.  

I complained to one of the nurses at my surgeon's office today about it and she had a name of a specialist that she recommended.  I will definitely be calling his office tomorrow to see if there is any way that I can get an appointment.  Unfortunately, he's all the way in Baltimore but if he can provide some insight on how to address my problems, the drive will definitely be worth it.

And now for my real rant du jour...I'm really going to complain this time so bail now if you want.  

I went to the support group that my surgeon's office hosts and listened in on the discussion.  There was one guy there today who seemed to feel that he was the one running the group and that he had EVERY answer to EVERY situation.  Since I restrained myself from saying anything at the group as part of my new year's resolution to put on a more pleasant face, I'll say what I was thinking here:  

Mr-Know-It-All, I am very sorry to tell you this.  I believe that all of your money and time studying those digestive ENZYMES you kept referring to all day really went to waste.  Despite those darling ENZYMES and your intimate relationship with them, you are still full of shit.

Okay...now if any of you are actually reading this, you probably think that I am a horrible person and am out of line.  But you probably weren't at this meeting.  I have my reasons for my rudeness and am still livid about the display that I saw this afternoon.  

I arrived about five minutes late and noticed that Mr-Know-It-All had already taken control of the conversation and, having met him before, I knew what we were in for.  That was fine and I tolerated the lengthy discussion on his excrement and digestive functions.  I tolerated the discussion on how his wife prepares his meals and how he is absolutely perfect in every way.  Fine...whatever.  We are all entitled to our opinion of ourselves.

But then another patient came in who had had the surgery some time ago.  If I'm correct, she's out 18 months, but I was so upset by the time the discussion was finished that my recollection may be poor.  Still, the gist of her story was that she had lost ~75 lbs after surgery but no more and had maintained that weight loss for some time with no additional results.

So I looked at her and felt sorry for her; I'd be devastated if I had gone through all of this trouble only to be disappointed with the results.  And for her to come and admit her 'failure' (I use this term loosely) to the group took guts.  And, knowing that there was a problem, she dragged herself into the office (it takes her 2.5 hours to get to DC) hoping to get help.

Well, Mr-Know-It-All jumps down her throat as soon as she voiced this concern.  He verbally assaults her and accuses her of not doing enough exercises and without even letting her speak, tells her to drop $400 on a treadmill and walk because that is obviously what she is doing wrong.  Please forgive me for this, but I feel that him ripping into her was entirely uncalled for.  I was equally upset to see that not only did nobody come to her defense, but that others were quick to follow his lead and tell her what else she needs to be doing without even knowing her side of the story.

This is supposed to be a support group.  And one of the things that I have truly appreciated at my surgeon's office is that everyone that I have met that has been affiliated with it has been supportive and encouraging.  I have never been condemned for being obese.  Everyone has been much more interested in helping me to overcome this condition rather than reprimanding me for it.  THAT is the reason why I selected his office and why I hold them in such high esteem.

I've been yelled at for being overweight before.  I know what it feels like.  I've been there and have written off scores of physicians for that very act.  And the last place I expected to find this animosity was in a group of obese patients where EVERYONE has a weight problem.  Perhaps I'm being naive, but none of us are exactly in the position to throw the first stone.  

I was dying to say something to this b@$+d@rd.  I wanted to tell him off so badly that my hands had begun to shake.  However, I knew that anything I said would undoubtedly be derogatory and very offensive and no matter how much I feel that he deserved it, I didn't want to come off as the bitch that I really am.

The woman in question still has a weight problem.  However, she's lost 75 lbs and has maintained the loss; I wouldn't be so quick to call that a failure.  I'd like to see anyone lose that much and maintain it.  And even if you want to say she's a failure, she took the initiative to come back and seek help; there is nothing else that one can ask of her.  I bet she came back looking for a support.  Look what she got instead.

I am not a surgeon or medical professional.  I am well-educated but would never presume to know everything about a condition.  And I know enough from my work in the legal arena to know that exceptions apply to every situation and one cannot adequately judge without knowing all of the circumstances involved.  We don't know why this woman has a problem; she certainly didn't have an opportunity to say anything.  There could be hormonal issues or other factors at work.  And even if it is the worst case scenario and she's eaten her way into this size despite the surgery, she didn't deserve this reception.  In fact, I think her speaking up was a great thing to do; it reminds us that this surgery doesn't automatically guarantee success. 

I'm willing to offer up that perhaps I'm just being too sensitive, but I really believe that it was uncalled for.  And most people consider me extremely down-to-earth and rational; I find it hard to believe that I'm overreacting.  However, I know that if I had been a visiting pre-op candidate and saw this spectacle, I would've walked right out the door and never looked back.

I regret not speaking up and have thought of a decent way to approach Mr-Know-It-All if this should happen again; a friendly "remember we're all different and let the surgeon do the diagnosing" would not go amiss here.  However, I am still debating about contacting the group coordinator and telling her my view of what happened today and how I felt about it.  I know that others sitting around me were less than pleased with what was said (overheard folks talking about it afterwards) and perhaps I should bring it to her attention now.  After all, aside from Dr. Afram's skill as a surgeon, the best thing that the office has to offer is the supportive staff who are all involved with the WLS process.  And if I were just judging on what I saw today, I never would've given them a second chance.  It would be a great mistake for someone to do just that.

So, do you think that I'm overreacting?  Was anyone reading this there today and feel this way as well?  Has anyone seen a similar situation in your groups?  I'd really love to see if I'm not alone with this one.

So I had my follow-up last week and am down 61 pounds.  However, I couldn't resist breaking one of Dr. Afram's 'rules' regarding the scale; he prefers that we not weigh ourselves at home all the time and rely on his undoubtedly more accurate scale for the monthly weigh-in's.  But given that my clothes started to droop a bit more than normal, I checked it and it appears that I've lost between 4 and 5 lbs in the last week.  This does seem to be the pattern; I'll stick at a number for two weeks and then drop five pounds magically in a matter of three or four days.  Kinda strange, actually.

Got my blood results and had a routine physical with my PCP; am not dead just yet but am also borderline anemic.  However, all the protein and vitamin levels look great (even my B12...have been taking a pill supplement though) so that is good news.

Nothing is really new here except that in the last week, my stomach seems to have 'come online' again; I'm actually hungry and the portions I normally eat don't fill me up anymore.  So I've been rather careful about upping my calorie intake (~800/day now) and am watching my exercise.  The one good thing is that if I go slowly enough through a meal, nobody needs to know that I'm not able to eat normally.  This is important given that I've never told anyone about the surgery.

Aside from that, there is nothing new to report.  Will be enjoying the holidays with my family.  Am also looking for exercise classes that start in Jan. since I'd like to get back into ice skating and swimming; talk about extremes!  Despite being young, my skin isn't snapping back all that well (particularly the arm area) so I'm a bit self-conscious about appearing in a swimsuit just yet .  Still, I guess I'll just have to get over it.

In my last post I discussed how thanks to the weight loss, I've been forced to totally revamp my wardrobe.  Due to the fact that money is scarce, the coats my mother found for me at a second-hand store in Pittsburgh have been a saving grace.  So, figuring that there was bound to be at least one Pittsburgher out there who was in need of some cheap yet good quality items, I decided to do my research and found the website for the store where my mother found the coats for me.  

The store is called Treasure House Fashions and is located in the North Hills suburb of Pittsburgh right off of McKnight Rd.  Here's the link to their website:  http://www.thfashions.org/

I'm hoping that some of you may find this to be of some use.  It's all for a good cause and I've already donated some of my old items to them since I sincerely doubt that I'll be seeing a size 24 again.

And for all of you who were like me and are skeptical about shopping at a second hand place (sorry, I've yet to find an item of clothing I liked at Goodwill or Salvation Army), definitely go out there and see what is available.  I have gotten tons of compliments off of the items I got from this place and nobody except for my mother and I know that I didn't buy them from Macy's. 

My four-month weigh in was last week and came in at 191 lbs.  So a total loss of 54 lbs in four months; again, it's not as fast as some of you but I'm hardly displeased with the results thus far.  Was surprised to lose 11 lbs last month given that my surgeon expected the weight loss to start to slow down.

I have my mother and aunt to thank for helping me through the current clothing fiasco.  In my last post, I bemoaned the loss of my suits and dress coats and given the current money situation, I don't have the funds available to buy an expensive coat that will only last for 1 month or so.  Well, both my aunt and mother have started taking classes through a group that offers computer classes for women reentering the workforce and as part of the one course, they received gift cards for a local second-hand store who carries a large selection of good quality clothing.  My mom went to this store and bought me five different coats for ~$20 each (one leather one was $40) so for the price of one brand new coat, I've now got some things to see me through most of the winter.

I must admit that I was quite surprised by the quality of these items; I suppose I was skeptical about the fact that they were second hand.  But with the exception of a tear in the lining of one of the coats (and 50% was taken off the price as a result), these things are pretty much perfect.  And as much as I'd like to say that I'm not too materialistic or obsessed with my appearance, having coats that fit again make a huge difference when I go to leave for work in the morning.  I will try to see if this shop has a website and then post it here if I do find one; it may help some of you ladies living in Pittsburgh.

Mom may have saved me as far as coats are concerned, but I'm still having issues where clothes are concerned.  The size that I'm in now (mainly 16's but some 14's) is on the fine line between Womens and Misses...so now I can find NOTHING that works well.  I've lost most of my chest (and didn't have much to begin with...) and am able to wear Misses blouses, but can't wear them as they are too tight around the hips (where I'm still firmly a Womens size).  

It also happens that the clothes I have from the last time I was this size are mainly a summer wardrobe; I have three sweaters to my name and given the fact that I've lost a great deal of 'insulation', I'm very cold.  I basically wear the same zip-up black sweater every day with a short sleeved blouse underneath to keep warm and take off the sweater when I need to look nice at work.  I'm bundled up when I get to hide in my office though!

I finally am getting a little more energy, but I lost a great deal of muscle tone and despite working with weights and the like, I'm still not quite up to par.  Those lovely coworkers have told me that I no longer look like a corpse where my color is concerned; this was supposed to be a compliment?  I've gotten to the point where I don't think I look too bad; I'm reasonably happy with my results thus far.

One of the nastiest side effects of this whole process is the hair loss; I'm sorry, but I've always been vain about my hair and it has always been the one physical trait that I've always gotten compliments on.  It shed a great deal the last time I was on a low-cal diet and even more was lost to the ravages of PCOS, but it still was my crowning glory despite not being as nice as it once was.  Well, I knew that I'd have to deal with hair loss going into this surgery but I decided not to just resign myself to losing it and have put up quite the fight with supplements, Rogaine, Nioxin, etc.  It has thinned a bit, but not nearly as much as other patients I know who are as far out of surgery as I am.  

My loss has basically started from day one and didn't dramatically increase at month 3 or 4 like I hear many people say; it's been at a steady rate, but I don't have any bald spots or anything horrible like that.  It's just a little thinner at the crown but it's definitely something I can live with.  Hopefully that news makes someone feel better about this side effect; I've seen some severe cases at the groups but all in all, I'm doing well with this thus far.

My advice on this one is what everyone basically tells you; get your protein in and take your vitamins.  Protein shakes didn't work for me at all (I'd be sick for hours after eating them) but the small test-tube style from Proteica with 42g in 3.1oz of fluid work very well.  They've been my saving grace despite being rather unpalatable at first.  

As far as the rest of my 'hair regimen' goes, I started using Rogaine a month or so before surgery to hopefully stimulate some of those follicles.  I actually can see the results of this now; there are several short hairs all over my head that weren't there before.  So I've used Rogaine (the women's version) throughout this whole process and just follow the directions on the bottle.  As for helping to keep the hair I have, I use the Nioxin products (the cleanser and conditioner, as well as the scalp treatment).  I add their scalp treatment and brush it through my hair before adding the Rogaine and have seen the thickness improve a bit since I started doing this.  

As for vitamins, I take the Hair, Skin, and Nails supplement from Nature's Bounty.  It has most of the stuff that normal mulitvitamins have but with a huge dose of biotin and other extracts.  It has made a huge difference in the quality of the hair I have left.  When I was on the chewable vitamins right after surgery, my hair was lanky and lifeless which is a far cry from the natural curls I was used to.  When I made the switch to this multivitamin, it brought back life to my hair within three days.  It was such a remarkable difference that had I not known that the only change to my diet was the switch to the new vitamin, I never would've believed it to have had such an effect.  I'd definitely recommend this supplement.

I also take one more vitamin that was recommended by my stylist.  It's one of the Nioxin vitamins and I can say that when I saw him at 3 months after surgery, my hair had begun to fall out in larger clumps.  I started this vitamin and it kept the hair loss to the same amount as it had been directly after surgery.

We'll see in a few months if I'm just very lucky at this point or if this whole process makes a real difference.  At my surgeon's office, the nurses were talking amongst themselves and one even made a comment that 'well she isn't losing her hair'.  It made me feel better that these women who see a steady stream of patients every day gave their seal-of-approval that I'm doing better than average.

The only real side effect I've noticed this far from taking all the hair-growth supplements is that it makes ALL of your hair grow thicker and healthier.  This is a great thing on the top of your head, but I've never had to shave so frequently in my life!  :-)

It seems to be a trend in my family for the hair to change colors when the body is stressed, I'm experiencing this one as well.  I used to be a light brown-haired girl with natural gold highlights.  Well, the gold hairs were the first ones lost to the shedding and reappearing in their place are hairs that are redder and redder.  Yes, my family is Irish and we've had some redheads before...I'm just a little freaked out about the fact that I'm slowly turning into one!

Well, that's the latest on this front.  Hopefully someone will get some use of the hair tips and the protein drink...it really seems to make a difference!  Hope that everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

So it has been quite some time since my last post and I'm sure that there are just tons of folks out there waiting for me to write... ;-)

At any rate, we're at the 3.5 month mark now and there's little to report.  My 3 month weigh-in turned out to be 202 lbs, giving me a weight loss of 43 pounds in three months.  Not as impressive as some people on this site but hardly a shabby result.  To be honest with you, I didn't expect to lose this much so quickly.  However, I'm sure that it has something to do with the lack of food intake; I am still unable to eat more than 600 calories/day unless I have some food I'm not supposed to have (e.g. sweets).  Needless to say, the average is 600/day.

I know that I've continued to lose throughout the past few weeks but I don't really keep track of the numbers; I still loathe scales and am much happier going by visible results.  And given that I've had to replace my entire wardrobe, I'd venture to say that definitely indicates a visible result.  I started out at a solid size 24 and at 3 months even, was wearing size 18's.  After the past two weeks, I'm wearing size 16's as well.  

I've been forced to raid my attic for clothes from the past and can wear things that I haven't worn since my days in high school.  While this is a pleasant feeling, it also gets difficult; when I go to the stores to find things that I need, I constantly have to think about what exactly do I want and out of the available versions, what will last the longest as I drop sizes.  

The weather today was cold and rainy and it was the first time a coat was in order.  So I grabbed a leather jacket that I've had for 7 years and put it on; it was the largest it has ever been on me.  Apparently, the last time I was at this weight, it was distributed very differently.  Am at a loss as to what I should do when it comes to winter coats and am hoping that the hand-me-downs I got from my mother will work for a while.  Am fortunate that some of those 1970's styles are back in style.  However, I'm projecting that I'll be out of those size 14's soon and will need to find something to get me through the coldest days of the year...please pray that I'll be able to find things on sale then!

Now for the more psychological side effects.  I'm a packrat and have a hard time getting rid of things.  The engineering background I have makes this worse; there's ALWAYS a reason to save things as you never know when you'll be able to find a use for them!  Having this drastic drop in dress sizes and shoe sizes (hey, it happens!) has basically forced me to take stock of exactly what I had in my closet and get rid of it.  I couldn't bear going through some of my favorite suits and putting them on only to find that they no longer fit when getting ready in the morning.  So I did a marathon try-on session and got rid of everything that was no longer flattering.  As my younger sister is unfortunately following in my genetic footsteps and WLS for her is terribly unlikely (she is autistic and is severely disabled), I packed the clothing away and took it home so that she can use it when the time comes.  Given that I'm able to wear some of her clothes already, this day is not far off.

However, I didn't just stop at the clothes; I ransacked just about everything in my closet and am cleaning everything out.  Everything is being reorganized...and this is so terribly unlike me.  It's some sort of purging syndrome and probably has some psychological roots.  Then again, I'm an antisocial engineer lawyer-wannabe...what do I know about psychology?

As for the other effects of the surgery on my life, we're dealing with the coworkers who are oh so pleasant to deal with.  There have been tons of comments and many of them have not been pleasant.  There's one guy who actually came into my office to say "So what's up with you?  You're melting away.  You working out trying to get a man?".  If you've read my posts from before, you can see how much I appreciate that so I will not rant about it here.  Needless to say, I was rather insulted.

When it comes to having your condition apparent and in the public domain, weight loss is almost as bad as pregnancy; I've never been pregnant but have you ever seen how people come up and touch a pregnant woman's stomach?  It's as though they feel it's totally acceptable to come and invade her space just because her condition is obvious and is something to be celebrated.  If you think that weight loss won't cause the same thing, think again.  I have been groped at work twice by women who want to emphasize the point that I have lost weight.  One of these happened yesterday when in front of three other coworkers, this woman grabbed my hip (my largest part) and jiggled it while asking "How much now?"

One coworker had the tact to say "I'm sorry, but I don't know how to say this delicately.  You seem to have lost some weight."  When I confirmed it, he gave me a compliment which was, to date, the second compliment I have received since this process started. 

While I have received few compliments, I have noticed a significant change in the way I am treated by others when it comes to stupid things like having doors opened for you, having elevators held for you, etc.  Before, people (especially men) would let the doors slam in my face or purposefully close the elevator doors even when they were the only people in them.  But now, 40-something pounds lighter, the whole situation is different.  It seems like some people are thrilled to finally have this attention; I get infuriated when I think about it.  

Okay...so now we've firmly established that I have psychological problems.  With that, I take my leave... :-)

This is going to be long, but if you want to hear about the whole surgery/recovery experience thus far, read away...

Well, it's a week and a half from my surgery day and so far, most things have gone smoothly.  I've had my mother staying with me to help me out by forcing me to drink my fluids and eat lovely pureed versions of chicken and turkey.  She stayed until yesterday.  If you are reading this and are going to be going into surgery soon, I strongly recommend having someone there since you will likely be too exhausted to do this all on your own.

As for the surgery, it went relatively smoothly except for the gallbladder part; according to my surgeon, my gallbladder was tucked far behind my liver and wasn't readily accessible from the incision site.  He would have had to make a larger incision and it would have been much more invasive, so he opted to leave the gallbladder there and wait until there are problems to remove it.  

The GW Hospital experience was fair enough; the nurses were very good and things seemed to be relatively well staffed, but I did run into some issues that I had not anticipated.  I wound up in the ICU thanks to heart problems that none of us had anticipated; my surgeon sends some patients for pre-op consultations with a cardiologist or pulmonologist (mainly those with high blood pressure or sleep apnea) but did not think that I needed to go for this as I have no history of problems.  Even in the ICU, the cardiologist who came by had no idea why I was reacting as I was and we still don't know why.  We're left thinking that it could have simply been stress or perhaps a reaction to morphine.

So, now I was in the ICU which is not the bariatric ward where I was expected to end up.  Here is my biggest complaint about the entire hospital stay; whoever is supposed to communicate the orders from the bariatric ward to the ICU regarding my care needs to find a way to do this job better.  I had to wait almost a day to get a room in the bariatric ward once I was okay to be released from the ICU and while there were a few rooms open in the ward, word never got through to my nurse that I could move to one of them.  Then there's the whole food/walking issue.  In the bariatric ward, they try to get you up on your feet and sipping clear fluids as soon as possible.  My nurse in the ICU thought that I was supposed to limit my clear fluid intake and not walk.  

I first 'walked' when they brought me down to the radiology dept to do a small upper GI; I still feel badly for the resident who had to help me with that test.  I was a wreck...I had been drugged for hours and they decide to do this test by wheeling me down in a wheelchair that was far too large for me so I had no real support on either side and had to fight to keep myself upright.  Also, they had a great deal of trouble navigating this mammoth chair and caught my catheter in the wheels twice...not to mention the fact that they wheeled me into a wall once too.  

Once we got to radiology, they parked the chair and left me sitting there while I struggled not to pass out.  Here's the part that I'd like to really complain about...I ran into a few other WLS patients that I recognized from my group meetings and they were taken to radiology in their beds.  So, here I am from the ICU and am fighting to remain upright in this huge wheelchair where I have to spread my legs quite far to fit into the footrests, but it was possible to be brought down here in the bed?  Very poor planning, in my opinion.  

The poor resident saw me and told me in a cheerful tone that she only needs me to stand for 10 minutes...I moaned to her that I haven't walked yet and am barely remaining upright now so that she knows that it's rather imperative that this test get finished as soon as she can finish it.  She did a great job and put up with the swaying and shaking that I know I was doing.

All was well with the test and I was given an okay for the clear liquid diet.  That would've been great except that they never told my nurse.  The bariatric coordinator thought that I had been given everything I needed for lunch but that wasn't true at all.  I stayed in this room until about 7pm when they finally moved me into the bariatric ward.  But then again, there was a screw up with communication with the ICU and bariatrics and I didn't receive a dinner tray either.  

The only issue with the bariatric ward was that when I was released, the pain medications had worn off and they didn't want to give me anything else since I was given a prescription for Percocet for home.  I made the trip back home in pure agony since there was nothing in my system to dull the pain.  I'd avoid doing this, if I were you!

So far, I'm exhausted and am very sensitive to the temperature outside.  It is far too hot in DC for me these last few days.  But I've had no major problems with my food intake and lost 10 lbs eight days after surgery.  For the most part, the rest of my recovery has been slow but steady and I'm hoping to go back to work this week (2 weeks after surgery).

Wish me luck...

Well it's almost a week before surgery and I'm busting my butt at work trying to get everything ready for me to leave.  My job works on a biweekly basis and so every two weeks, we have to hand in all of our work and that is counted and recorded.  If we fall below a certain #, you get in trouble.  Since I'm going to be missing 2-3 weeks after the procedure, I have to get as much done now so that my numbers will even out in the end.

This is much easier said than done...

At any rate, I had my consult with Dr. Afram and am trying to get everything ready for the big day.  I attended my second support group meeting and several of the people have asked me if I'm excited...and I'm really not.  I'm exhausted from work and from dealing with problems with the extended family and it's gotten to the point that the only thing I'm excited about is the fact that I'll get to sleep for extended periods of time right after my surgery.  I cannot wait for that!!

I've talked to everyone I know and even a psychologist about this and they all seem to say that "everyone responds differently to this and you'll be excited soon!".  Well, we're down to the last 10 days and let me tell you this...I'm not excited at all.  

Prepare yourself for some ranting now...

My surgery is not public knowledge at the office or in my family; everyone knows I'm having something done but I've not been very open about it and only recently have I added in the gallbladder removal since that will account for some of the dietary changes post-op.  That is honest at least, but I cannot help feeling that this is nobody's business and I know that even if my life were an open book, I won't get support from the people at work. There is still too much stigma attached to this procedure as far as my work colleagues are concerned and to be perfectly honest, I don't feel like talking about it constantly.

 As for the family, I don't think my grandparents need to know because they are elderly and don't need to worry about it.  They don't see me often enough now to make it worth their worry and while I'll tell them eventually, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it which, hopefully, will be well after I'm fully recovered and can say that it was a success.  My parents know but my mother told my aunt (her sister)...of course my aunt seemed to think that I was doing this in order to get a man in my life.  She approved of it for that reason.  

Please forgive me for this if you don't agree with me, but I found that comment utterly insulting and I was furious when I heard it.  She even told my cousins that I was having this done only for that reason and that this is what I have to do to get a guy to like me.  I cannot believe that somebody who supposedly knows me well would consider me so undesirable now (I'm not necessarily attractive, but am far from repulsive) and would have myself practically butchered for the sake for finding a man.  I am single (by choice) and yes, that life is sometimes a lonely one, but I am hardly lonely enough to go and have myself surgically altered beyond repair just in order to get one.  Besides, perfectly thin people are divorced just like us larger folks...being thin does not mean that all of my problems will be magically solved and that the perfect Prince Charming will come and carry me away to his castle.

I'm having this done because nothing I've done thus far has worked and I keep gaining.  I've lived for years at a 1200 calorie/day diet and nothing has changed.  I exercise regularly...honestly, I don't know what else I can do.  This procedure looks promising and I'm having it done so that I can take control of this aspect of my life and move on to other issues.  I have great hopes for the future and am looking forward to doing things again that I haven't felt comfortable doing in a while (riding airplanes and rollercoasters, swimming, etc.).  And while I know that surgery won't do anything to alter my two left feet, I'm hoping being at a lower weight will help me to have more confidence to make a fool of myself in the dance classes I'd like to take after I recover.

In short, I'm having it done to improve my life.  I want to have fun and live without having to be uncomfortable all of the time.  If this is what it takes, then I'm up for it.  

But don't think I'm doing this just because I want a man to take care of me.  Oh, and don't dare think that this is the 'easy' way out...take one look at the dietary restrictions and requirements and what I have to do to prepare for this and you'll see that this is anything but easy.  

Okay...sorry for ranting...I just had to get that out of my system.  :-)