Maggie_B.

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Today is my surgiversary!  One year ago today I had RNY with Dr. Graber in Utica, New York.  I cant believe it's been a year already and so many things in my life have changed.  This time last year, I was so depressed and prayed to die each night.  Really, I'm not exagerating - I really wanted out of this life.  I didn't have a life.  Now, I'm so happy that God has answered my prayers, not to die, but to live.  That's what I was really asking for - a life worth living.  Today, I can walk all day and not get winded.  If I fall down, I can pick myself up.  I'm gardening, which I've NEVER done before.  I sit on the ground and plant away to my heart's content.  I can get up easily to get bone meal and water for the plants.  Live just couldn't get any better than that for me.

I went to England in May with my sister and had a great time walking all over the place.  We would start out at 9:00 every morning and come home at about 8.  We walked and walked and walked.  I not only kept up with my sister (who is very fit and walks a great deal everyday), but I was able to walk more than her some days.  This was a great experience for me. 

Since today is my surgiversary, I decided to start making some calls to plastic surgeons.  I have a great deal of loose skin on the stomach, hips and thighs that will need to be removed.  I'm a little nervous about having another surgery, but figure it will be some months before I'm ready, so I have between now and then to mentally prepare, as well as financially.  I'll need to have the thighs and tummy done, and maybe a breast reduction/lift.

I'm very greatful for all the help and support I've received on this site and from Dr. Graber and his staff.  They've been great to deal with!  

I'm so happy to have my life
I'm so happy to have my family and friends
I'm so happy to have this forum for informaton and support

My prayers have been answered and I pray for all of you who have had this surgery and those who want and need it.

 

I finally made it into Onederland!  YEH!!!  I also lost 100 lbs!  Another Big YEH!!!

I seem to have stalled a little bit in my weight loss, but I'm still loosing.  I can't believe that I'm finally out of the 200's!  I was nearly at the 300 mark when I started this journey and it feel wonderful.  I've lost over 100 lbs now and have noticed a really big difference in how I can move about.  Almost from the start, I noticed a big difference in my energy level, but now I can do so many more things that I ever could before.  I still have 70 lbs to loose, but I'm feeling much more confident that I will loose it.  When I started this journey, I really thought that it would incredible if I could get to this stage.  Now, it's 8 months and here I am. 

One of the side effects is that I'm so busy now.  I used to be on this forum almost all day, reading every post and getting so much support and encouragement.  I feel like I've let the people on here down by not being here as much as I used to.  I'm sorry, but I'm feeling very stressed with all that I have to do now - and can do.  Work is really busy; I'm walking (still my only exercise due to problems with an abdominal cyst); getting all the tax returns that I've promised to do, done; shopping (oh my I need clothes for my trip to England May 1); fixing up around the house (still getting settled in my new house); keeping up with family obligations.

I do think of the people on this forum who are going through this amazing journey so often.  When I first started, I didn't think I could really comprehend that I'd never be able to eat like I used to.  It's starting to feel more like my lifestyle now - not just another "diet".  At the beginning, although I knew this was a lifetime commitment, I just couldn't think about the long term changes to eating.  The tought that I'd never be able to have a DQ, popcorn with butter, french fries - all the food that I loved, was more than I could deal with.  So, I did the AA practice of just "one day at a time".  Well, now I can see that I don't mind and don't even want those foods anymore.  The tought of them still makes me feel sad, but when I think about how they tasted and the whole eating experience, I feel sick to my stomach.  So the tool is working and I'm working the tool by not tempting myself by trying to eat these food.  What if I find out that I can eat them without getting sick?  I'd be in trouble again, so I stay away.  I hope I'm able to maintain this thinking for the rest of my life.  The longer I stay on track, the better for my long term prognosis.

My best wishes, hopes and prayers are with each and every person who decides to take this journey.  It's not for everyone - you really need to make sure that you can't control your weight on your own before taking this drastic measure.  It is life saving, but it can also cost you your life.  Be sure before jumping into any surgery!!!

This is my monthly update.  Things are going very well for me.  I'm continuing to loose weight, although I would like it to be much quicker.  My job is very busy now and I'm starting to get caught up on a number of things at home.  I'm finally feeling well enough to tackle decorating my bedroom and office. 


I'm so happy with my life now.  I'm going to England in May and starting to get excited about it.  I have so much more energy now.  I walk every day on my treadmill - increasing the distance and time.

I don't have much time to be on the forum.  First I was sick - now I'm just so busy!!!

Life is great - thanks to Dr. Dent and Dr. Graber for giving me a life.

I made it to my 6 month surgivarsary and have lost 85 lbs.  I celebrated this in Florida on vacation.  I'm getting anxious to get below 200, but soon I'll be there.  I can walk so much better than before and have more energy.  I still cannot wear a bathing suit, so when I sat by the pool, I had to wear capris and a tank top, but I did get some sun! 

It was very interesting to be away on vacation and still manage to stick to my new way of eating.  I didn't feel like trying to eat something more.  I just don't have any desire.  This is a great feeling and I hope it never goes away. 

I had to buy a new pair of slacks when I was away.  The size 18 that I bought just after X-Mas was falling off me, so I'm now officially a size 16.  Within a few days of buying them, I found they were starting to get too big, so I think I'll need to get another new pair soon, in a 14. 

Instead of eating while away, I treated myself to a pedicure, a makeup/make-over and coloured my hair.  I'm sick of being asked if I'm my sister's mother (there's only 4.5 years age difference).  I'll post a picture with the new hair soon.  I really enjoyed the pampering and feel so much better about myself.  Before surgery, I would never have felt that I deserved this and would never do anything for myself, except eat!

I haven't been back for my 6 month DR visit yet.  I'll be doing that in the next couple of weeks.  In the meantime, I'm so happy!

I haven't been posting for a couple of months.  I've not been feeling very well and didn't really have anything positive to say.  I don't like to keep wining about my problems, so I just stayed away.

My problem, well, I'm still not sure what it was.  I started as a small pea sized lump in my stomach, just above the navel.  I wasn't painful at first, but it started to get bigger and by early December, it was started to get red. I decided I better looking into this further - not knowing if it was something that affect where I had WLS.  Following is what happened. 

Dec.  8:   Saw Dr. Dent and he suggested that I have an AS and sent a referral to Dr. Yelle (surgeon here in Ottawa). 

Dec. 19:   I hadn't heard back with dates for either and called his office.  My AS was scheduled for Mar. 2.  Way too long to wait.  He suggested that I go to Emergency and ask for and AS.  So, I spent 4 1/2 hours that afternoon only to be told that I would have to wait until either the next day (Friday) or Monday.  By now, the lump had gotten larger and redder.  It was becoming very painful

Dec. 23:   I hadn't received a call about the AS and called, only to be told that they hadn't received any requisition from Emergency.  They looked into it and I had the AS the next day.

Dec. 24:   AS results showed a cyst (2.8 x 1.8 x .8 cm).  The Dr. checked the AS when I was there and told me the results, but I was told that I was to take the written report back to Emergency to have a Dr. there read them to me - but I would have to be triaged again. So, back I go to Emergency, only to wait for about 1/2 an hour to be told that I would have to be triaged.  So, I waited some more and then finally got to Step 1.  Talked to nurse and finally convinced him that I really didn't need to be triaged and probably didn't even need to see a Dr.  He went back to talk to a Dr. and came back and told me I was right and didn't need to wait.  All I had to do was to go se my GP to have him drain the cyst.  The lump is even bigger now and I can't stand to touch it, it's so painful.

Dec. 31:   Saw my GP.  He tried to get some fluid with a needle, but nothing would come out.  Said that I should come back and they would make an incission of about 1-2" and drain it.  Didn't want to it that day, but their office would be closed until Jan. 5.  I needed to be able to come back in the day after for cleaning and further draining.

Jan.  1:   The lump started to drain on it's own.  The opening was only a pin prick, but I had a bloody substance draining.  It was enough that I had to put a gauze pad on it.  Over the next couple of days, the opening got a little bigger and continue to drain.

Jan.  5:   Back to my GP's office and they were pleased that it started to drain on it's own.  The lump is still big, but not quit as painful.  GP decided to go ahead and open it up more (1") and clean it out.  He ended up putting about 4 vials of freezing in because when he opened the wound, he said it wasn't a cyst, but a tumour.  GREAT!  I didn't think that tumours got infected or drained fluid like that.  He tried to cut the tumour out, but the freezing wan't keep enough and I just about passed out with the pain.  He finally gave up and said that I needed to see a surgeon.  I told him that Dr. Dent had already sent a referral to Dr. Yelle, although I hadn't heard from him office about an appointment yet.  GP said that I should call Dr. Yelle and get in a.s.a.p.  He was going to send a report about his findings.  GP left the incission open and packed.  Said I needed to have surgery within 3 days.

Jan. 6:   I went back to GP's office to have the opening cleaned.

Jan. 7:   Called Dr. Yelle's office only to discover that they hadn't received a referral from Dr. Dent's office and the report from the GP's office had arrived it (it was to be send on the afternoon of Jan. 5).  I followed up with Dr. Dent's office and they said they had faxed the referral on Dec. 12.  They would talk to Dr. Yelle's office. 

Jan.  8:   Dr. Dent finally talked to Dr. Yelle's office.  They had to re-faxed referral.  I called Dr. Yelle's office to make sure that they had also received report from GP's office.  They hadn't.  I was getting scared because I had been told that I needed to have the tumour out within 3 days and this was day 3.  I was given an appointment of Jan. 16.  I'm concerned, but this was the best they could do for me.

Jan. 14:   Noticed that the redness and pain wasn't as bad.  Finished 24 days of antibiotics, so I guess they were working.

Jan. 16:   Finally had my appointment with Dr. Yelle.  He takes a look at the wound.  It's much better now, but still open.  He doesn't see any tumour and scolds me for telling his nurse that I had a 2.8 cm lump.  I told him that's what I had been told and that the GP could see the tumour.  He calmed down and said that I need to just let this heal.  He didn't think there was any tumour, only a cyst.  After it's healed, have another AS and see of anything is there.  If there is something that needs to be removed, we'll deal with it then.

So, today is Jan. 19, and I'm back to work.  My wound isn't draining anymore and the incission is finally started to heal from inside out.  I just can't believe what all of this crap!  Anyway, the good news is that I'm still loosing weight and have now lost a total of 76 lbs.  Yeh!  Still love my surgery!!!

Today is my 3 months surgiversary. I'm down a total of 54 lbs. I had hoped to be at least 55 lbs down, but I didn't quite make it. I'm not loosing as quickly as I had hoped. I was thinking I should be able to loose 20 lbs a month for the first 3-6 months, but that isn't happening. I've very disappointed, but still have no regrets about have WLS. Without it, I wouldn't have lost anything, and probably gained more.

I'm suffering from depression, but I'm sure that is not related to the surgery. I had clinical depression for years, even when I lost over 100 lbs on Dr. Bernstein's diet. I'm going through a change in meds and I think it's really due to that. I'm seeing my GP tomorrow about it.

I've met so many nice people on the forum since I joined. They have been my life saving - being so supportive and understanding of my struggle with depression. I want to support them and remain positive, but there are days when I don't feel very positive. I stopped posting for a while because of how I was feeling. That's when I should have been posting most of all.

In total, I've lost 30% of the weight towards my goal. If this keep up, I should be at my goal weight by the fall of 2009. I know that the weight loss slows down even more as you get closer to your goal, so I'm allow for that. I don't know if I can reach my goal weight without having plastic surgery to get rid of extra skin. I'll just have to wait and see about that.

Well, another month has gone by and I'm still loosing. Not as quickly as I would have hoped, but I'm going down.

This past month has been really hard for me. I have been suffering from depression, jittery nerves, unable to focus when reading, shakey legs, dizziness, etc. I saw by GP this week and he has confirmed that I need to adjust my meds. I stopped reading and posting for awhile, so this was a real sign to me that I needed help. I still don't always feel like being on the board, but I try.

In order to change meds, I have to wein myself off the Cymbalta that I take now. Dr. has warned that I will feel worse before I feel better. Oh great - just want I wanted to hear. Oh well, I'll just keep plugging along and hope for the best.

On the other hand, I have been busy planning holidays for February (Florda) and May (UK). Plans are coming together nicely and it's something to look forward to. I wonder how much weight I can loose by each trip. Hopefully, enough that I can be more active.

I finally got my treadmill out of the garage and into the basement. I had a problem fitting it in, due to the low ceilings in my basement. I managed to place it so that my head will be between 2 beams, so I can walk and not get hurt. I haven't started using it yet - not feeling very well this week. I've also had a pain in the lower right abdoman. I thought it might be appendix, but it's lower than that. Dr. thinks it is constipation. I do have a bit of a problem in that department, so I need to take a softner and make sure that I start going more regular. I still have gone, in over 5 days now. Maybe that's why I'm not loosing so quickly.

That's my update for now - will post again next month.

I don't have much of an update to make, but I just wanted to document something that's been bothering me for the last couple of week.

When I was 14 years old, 2 neighbours were involved in a plane crash. One was only 21 years old (Peter Griffith) and just gotten his license. The other was the father of his best friend (Herb Filer), who was 48 years old. At the time of the accident, it was expected that Herb would be OK and that Peter would not make it. Well, 13 days later, Herb had passed away from internal bleeding and Peter was still alive, although comatose. This was a really big deal in our little world and everyone in the neighbourhood was devastated.

Peter was an only child and his parents aged overnight. Everyday we would see Judge Griffith (he was a province court judge) would go to the hospital and visit his son and shave him. His mother went most days, but some days she just couldn't take it. This became their lives until they both passed away, within days of each other several years later.

Peter finally passed away a few weeks age at the age of 59. He remained in a coma for 38 years! What a life!

We think that we have problems with our weight and we do. I feel like I've been like Peter, living in a comatose way most of my life. It hasn't been 38 years for me, but almost. They believe that Peter was aware of what went on around him, but had no way of communicating. That's kind of how I feel. I was always watching life, not participating. I used wish that I would just die and get this misery over with. I'm sure Peter felt the same way everyone morning that he woke up.

I've had a second chance at life, but Peter never did. If you are living your life like Peter, like I was, in a coma, please consider what you can do to start living again. I've only just started to live, but what a wonderful feeling it. This is truly a rebirth to me. Finding out about Peter's passing really brought all of this home to me and I just needed to document it.

By the way, the accident was not Peter's fault. It was freak wind that blew up and flipped the plane. Even the most experience flyer would have had the same results. I'm so happy that Peter is now at rest. He was a really great guy!

I am now 1 month post-op and wish that I could loose weight faster. I see people on the board who have lost 30 lbs in less time and I'm feeling a little disappointed. Oh well! I am glad that I'm down 26 lbs, never to be seen again. I don't feel too bad most days. At times, a seem to have lots of energy, but it disappears quickly when I do anything that uses it up.

I'm struggling with 2 issues. The first is to get enough water in. I'm lucky if I can get 40 oz. I just can't seem to get past this mark. I try really hard, but unless I just sit and drink all day, I can't seem to do it. I had no problems before when I able to gulp, but I can't do that now and so I'm falling short of my goal. Also, I'm struggling with walking some day. Today wasn't bad. I walked for 30 minutes and feel good. Some day, head spins and I just can't do it.

I get very disappointed when I don't see a drop in my weight. I've decided to weigh myself everyday - only once a week.

I had my 3 week post-op with Dr's office and everything is OK. I don't have to go back until Dec. 5 for my 3 month checkup.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have had the DS procedure instead of RNY. When I see the incisions with the long cut and all the staples, I'm glad that I didn't do that. The people who have had DS seem so happy about their procedure and seem to loose much quicker. It's too late now for me and I am very happy with Dr. G and his staff. I'm just thinking about a greater weight loss. Shame on me! I will loose the weight as it's meant to come off me, regardless of which procedure I had done! (I'm giving myself a kick in the pants now)

One thing that I did this weekend that I found inspiring was to walk around the mall and stop and look at the clothing in the "Petite" stores for when I reach my goal. There are so many nice cloths and I almost forgot that I have so much weight to loose - at least until I looked in a mirror. Got a really big surprise - big me still!!! I can hardly wait until this time next year when I can start buying some of these clothes for next winter. I have smaller clothes that will fit my for next summer, but nothing for the winter. I really enjoy looking at the clothes and got a nice long walk in as well.

I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted. So much has happened that I just can't believe how quickly the time has passed.

First, my sister who was totally against the surgery decided that she wanted to come with my and support me on my decision. She still doesn't agree with it, but I appreciate that she wants to be there for me. So, I had both my sisters with me.

So, on Monday, August 11, my sisters and I left for Utica NY. Everything was fine with the hotel - we got the suite that I asked for and was able to park outside the back door. We didn't even need to use stairs. We went to dinner and I had my broth, since I was on the 3 day liquid diet. On Tuesday, I had my appointment for PAT's and Wednesday morning I met with the dietician. All went well and I returned to the hotel by noon - very hungary and thirsty (nothing to eat or drink the day of surgery) to wait until 2, when I was to leave for the hospital for surgery at 4. Well, much to my pleasant surprise, I got a call from the hospital asking if I could come in right away. Dr. G's first surgery cancelled and they could take me right away. Of course I left immediately and was prepared and in surgery by 1. Dr. G asked me that everything went GREAT and that he expected no problems for me. I had none - only a little pain that evening and next day. I felt much better the next day when he said that I could go back to the hotel that afternoon.

I was released to go home (Ottawa) on Saturday morning. By the time that I got home, I was feeling so much better. I tried to have a nap and just could settle. I've been on the go ever since. I have so much energy and have spent the last 2 weeks working on my new house. I've shopped for outdoor furniture and have been busy hanging blinds and curtains. I've unpacked more of my boxes and finally got my internet access fixed. Apparently, I was out of the range for DSL service and Bell didn't tell me. Now I'm with Rogers and back in business.

I'm so happy and still have another week of vacation, I mean recovery left before I return to work. When I do return to work, I'll only work one day than I have to ask for another day off for my 3 week follow up with Dr. G. Life is just way too tough these days for me LOL.