Suzy C.
So close!
Apr 15, 2008
April 15, 2008
OK, I had a secret goal going here for awhile ~ I wanted to be under 170 pounds (169.9 woulda been fine!) by today, because I had my regular six-month check-up with my endo, and it seemed like a nice round goal to have. I came close ~ weighed in at 171. Aw well!
My next important "date" coming up is May 30, which is the sixth anniversary of my RNY. Dang, I hate to be sporting regain on that date, but of course with 24 pounds to go (16 down, though!), I will still be workin' on it then.
I guess by May 30, I hope I will have passed the halfway point in the regain battle. Here's hoping I can be at or below 167.7 by then, just by continuing to eat and exercise normally.
Ach, WTF*@*@)(!@)!!!*(*(@$&$&@ whenthehellarewegettingsumstartingpitching?!?!!?
Baseball vexes me! (game on as I write) . . .
Just being on track is awwwright. My blood pressure was 90/70 today (~poke~ hey, ya livin'??). Swimming and interval training (running/speed walking) really bump my blood pressure down, in a good way (not that it's ever really been high). Labs are being run too so here's hoping all that goes well. I feel *strong* from all this exercise, even though I'm really only doing it 3/4x a week (which is plenty for me, now that baseball season's on). W00T!
Creeping Forward
Apr 05, 2008
April 5, 2008
Not much to report this week. My weight loss is creeping along, but I am continuing to lose. And I am eating "normally," meaning, I am willing/able to continue eating this way the rest of my life. I am occasionally having a sweet (or non-sweet) treat. But I am also exercising regularly, relying on protein shakes (1-2 a day), and generally eating well. No deprivation here.
It turns out I *can* live without eating half a bag of chocolate a day. Why my 2005-2007 self refused to accept that, I don't know. If my 2008 (and beyond) self is unconvinced, I'll return to my pre-op state via regain. I've seen enough to know that can't be denied.
It seems to me that, theoretically, I will get to whatever goal I'm meant to be at based on simply living this lifestyle. I wonder what that number is! How happy it would be if it turned out to be the number I chose already as a goal. Hmmm. I guess I have twin goals -- lifestyle and weight number. If they merge, fabulous, if they don't, I'll have to decide which one (or both) gets tweaked a bit. Separating them is folly.
I am still very conscious of needing to eat properly. I could *still* picture myself falling off the wagon easily and I have been aboard that wagon for more than a couple of months now without incident. I do hope that things will not feel so . . . unnatural? forever, but I must accept that this is simply my wiring. Everybody's got stuff they don't like to do or that's harder for them to do than the next guy (who has his own hard stuff to deal with). Food's my thing. At least I have had the benefit of WLS to help me get over. Weight has not been the only defining personal struggle (and failure) in my life, but it's certainly been the most maddeningly persistent (and public).
I also can't whistle by putting two fingers in my mouth, but for my 50th birthday this year I'm asking my brother to sit down and give me lessons. Dammit, I'm tired of being unable to express myself fully at sporting events, cab stands, and construction sites!!!
Opening Day!
Mar 30, 2008
March 30, 2008
Did I mention that I love baseball?
Seriously??
It's Opening Day and our new ballpark is opening tonight. I live close enough to it to walk to games. I lived close enough to the old ballpark to walk to games, too. It's like a little kid's fantasy for me that my team is so close by. They moved here from Canada three years ago. I'd been wandering in the desert without a team here in D.C. for a long time before that. Thank you, Baltimore Orioles, for getting me through, but we have our own team now (and besides, Peter Angelos *blows* ~ when he finally takes his crypt-keeper claws off of your once-storied franchise, I hope it blooms again).
We are going to Opening Day!
Allow me to share a haiku that not-so-skillfully blends baseball with WLS:
Clutching hot dog, beer
Crack of bat, heads up! Foul ball!!
Pouch or glove? Tough choice!
Leaping up, grabbing
Food malabsorbed? Nah, just spilled
No matter ~ caught ball!
WELCOME HOME ~ GO NATS!
Spring Be Sprung!
Mar 20, 2008
March 21, 2008
It was a nice day today and I was off from work, so I walked to the gym. Ordinarily, I drive there in an SUV (I'm American, dammit). I only weigh in at the gym because I don't/won't have a scale in my home. When I arrived, there was actually a little bit of movement on the scale for the first time in awhile. Sweet! Energy crisis *and* stall solved.
I suppose if they move all the scales to Mars, I will make some giant breakthrough in space travel technology just so I can go see if I've lost any weight lately!
So now, the status of my Regain Battle is that there are 29 unwelcome pounds on my personnage, *but* 11 of their friends have left the building. W00T!
As predicted, my bum knee lied to the doctor last week and acted all fine & dandy when he looked at it. I'll give it a pass for now, because it is what got me back on track. The fear of losing mobility to excess weight is very powerful. I do not want to push the "health" envelope again with obesity. Man, it is amazing how tenacious this disease is, surgery or no surgery.
Vacationing In Place
Mar 13, 2008
March 13, 2008
I had a colleague who used to speak lovingly of unproductive times at work as "vacationing in place."
Soooo right now, it is the scale that is vacationing in place. At first I thought it had gone away to visit friends for the weekend. Now it appears to have gotten some sort of seven-to-ten day package somewhere (somewhere sunny, I hope! -- if it was planning on skiing
). Time will tell if it has decided to take a two-week cruise or -- heaven forfend -- spend a summer backpacking across Europe. Wherever it is, it ain't with me. But since I am in food/exercise control, I will be content. Say it with me: IwillbecontentIwillbecontentIwillbecontentIwillbecontent*where'sthescale?
Wonderwhatthescalesezrightnownownownownownow? *smack*
Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, it's a stall! Ready . . . set . . . set . . . set . . . meh.
Here I must pause to punctuate the news of a stall with the official OH emoticon for stalls:
Awww, have a hanky, 'lil dude! Don't cry!
awwquitcherb*tchin!!!!I'm doing everything right, so far as I define "right." Avoiding most sugars (being verrrry careful with sugary treats). Eating small regular meals of proteins and fats that are filling (and healthy carbs, including fruits). Protein shakes every day. And exercising -- aye carumba! I'm swimming! Walking! Elliptical-ling! Weight-lifting! Yoga-ing! Day-yum! La-Z-Boy Island sits unoccupied much of the time. My knee is even acting better (probably because it knows I am finally taking it to the doctor tomorrow, where it will promptly fake normality).
So okay, the scale doesn't wanna move. I could entertain thoughts about suddenly having a very slow metabolism, or other darker thoughts. But no, I shall focus on other things. Busy at work. Busy with life.
Busy mostly with *baseball*!!! My big passion, which is coming to life very soon. C'mon, Opening Day! *** I can hear the crack of the bat *** I can see the late afternoon shadows crawl cross the green green outfield *** I can see the ball darting through our arthritic shortstop's legs into said green green outfield *** Bring it ON!
Suzy C.
Twenty Percent of Regain Gone
Feb 22, 2008
February 22, 2008
Happy George Washington's birthday, everyone!
I'm chipping away and am now down 8 pounds since getting back on track about 3.5 weeks ago. I'm thrilled! I weigh now what I weighed four months ago (when the gain started really accelerating). It's a solid start.
I went to a "restorative yoga" class today at the gym. Man, I was always inflexible, but I have virtually *no* joint flexibility these days. I hope that's just from laziness and that it can be treated with stretching and yoga 'n stuff. I'd hate to think I'm getting . . . old?? Nah. If I decide to spring for a personal trainer at some point, it'll be to work on stretching and weight-lifting designed to do that "weight-bearing exercise" I need to do to for the ole bones.
My portion sizes are staying more reasonable. I'm avoiding junk, though I've had a little chocolate every week since I started. But I can walk away after one like I used to be able to do. My current obsession is blueberries, which ROCK I must say.
I could still pick up my bad habits again though in just a day or two. I can feel them lurking just beneath the surface. The little b*stards never really left all along. I'm just gonna keep plugging away a day at a time and try to put some more distance between me 'n them.
I can't wait for spring. At least I'll be lighter and more able to walk more (if the knee holds out) and garden 'n stuff.
Reading the general board lately has really reminded me how tough the surgery is in the beginning and how hard it is to be disappointed with the results down the road. I've been so lucky with it. I wish the same for everyone!
Truth Be Told
Feb 19, 2008
February 19, 2008
Put a bathing suit on for the first time in three years, during which time most of my regain took place.
Egads. Words fail me.
I should never binge on chocolate again without first putting on that swimsuit and having to look at me in the mirror. That thing doesn't lie about an ounce.
OTOH, I'm still eating and exercising right. Seeing minor improvement in the renegade knee. I was fatigued last week, but can feel some energy starting to come from the improved habits & vites.
Onward! Down 6.1 big 'uns. 34.4 to go.
Die-ut
Feb 16, 2008
February 16, 2007
I am sitting in a glass house here. All four walls are made of thin, delicate crystal. So I'll just say this to my blog and leave it here, because who in Hades am I to judge, really??
I see a lot of people talking about doing a "five-day pouch test" that begins with a two days of consuming only protein shakes. I do not approve! Yes, I'm sittin' on my 35-pound-regain-plush big arse. Nevertheless, I'm gonna hold forth on this topic anyway.
One of my most spectacular pre-op failures was the "Optifast" plan, where you're on nothing but protein shakes for weeks and weeks on end (I think I lasted six weeks). Never have I regained weight so fast. Despite that experience, I still regard protein shakes (when part of an actual eating plan) to be helpful to me. Just not all by their lonesome, y'know?
I feel like the more extreme and gimmicky the diet, the less likely it is to put someone genuinely back on track, and the more likely it is to trigger feelings of failure.
Full disclosure: I tried "detoxing" on protein shakes alone (like, three years ago, once, for three days), and frankly it just feels silly to me. I don't gain weight because I fail to live on protein shakes alone, so how am I addressing my real problems by turning back to gimmicks one more time? Fast-forward three years: I regained a whole herd 'o pounds. Fad dieting didn't work for me pre-op and doesn't work post-op.
Definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
I love looking at the threads where people make each other accountable (here's my menu today, here's my exercise today). WTG, ladies! That makes a whole lot more sense to me. Although I doubt anyone wants to see my diet today:
Breakfast: protein shake followed by two-egg cheese omelette
Lunch: tomato 'n basil "veggie" burger with side of broccoli with cheese
Snack: very small bowl of Redi-Whip chocolate whipped cream consumed by using Teddy Grahams as spoons (when the whipped cream's gone, the bears go back in cabinet . . . awwww. bye, fellas!)
Dinner: Dunno yet.
That stuff is actually working for me (so far . . . big whoop! 2.5 weeks in and I is an expert, right?).
Suzy C.
Who thinks irony is underrated
Ticked!
Feb 15, 2008
February 11, 2008
I'm loving the weight tickers!
Moving slowly but relentlessly forward . . .
I'm loving the weight tickers!
Moving slowly but relentlessly forward . . .
Greetings From La-Z-Boy Island ~ Wish You Were Here
Feb 10, 2008
February 10, 2008
OK, I'm almost two weeks into my fabulously renewed healthy lifestyle, which I'm calling "Better Living Through Not Mainlining Chocolate While Becoming One With My Couch." Trips right off the tongue, doesn't it?
I always focus on the chocolate issue all the time, but today it occurred to me that my weight gain really took off after I got this wonderful theater-style La-Z-Boy sectional couch with three recliners built in, back in '05. It's the sort of couch where you can fold down every other section and put your feet up and surround yourself with food and drink and pets and newspapers and laptop and cell phone and, of course, the tv remote ~ only to be pissed off when you realize your reading glasses are still way over *there* , and then -- dammit! who the hell is calling on the landline instead of the cell, forcing me to leave the Island to answer!
My knees feel a bit better. It is great to be exercising again (when not parked on La-Z-Boy Island). I'm also walking more. I'm back to doing a little weight-lifting. Which is, and always will be, a total joke, but since I paid for the gym they have to pretend I belong there. ;-)
But today, my whole body felt like lead at the gym and I had to do that *push*-every -minute thing to finish my wussy little workout. To top off the Leaden Body Experience, I stepped on the scale in the locker room only to see one of those, er, unexplained "fluctuations" that drive you mad. Approximately 30 trillion threads on OH are about this very topic, 29.9 trillion of which feature the requisite blue smiley-face having a crying jag (will someone please smack it?). Now that I'm way past menopause (WooHOO!), I can't blame monthly water retention. F***! Time to get away from the scale for awhile. As we left the gym, I complained to my sister about the scale and got a quick, bullet-point list of reasons why I might've fluctuated (take-away message: "shaddup"). Why does that list sound so familar . . . oh yeah, it's what I always tell *her*.
"So how is your week shaping up?"
"I'm swamped. I was already planning to *not *look at stock market news or my 401(k) balance, and now I've got to work in *not* looking at the scale too."
"At least you can still whine about your knees."
"Yes, I still have that."
OK, I'm almost two weeks into my fabulously renewed healthy lifestyle, which I'm calling "Better Living Through Not Mainlining Chocolate While Becoming One With My Couch." Trips right off the tongue, doesn't it?
I always focus on the chocolate issue all the time, but today it occurred to me that my weight gain really took off after I got this wonderful theater-style La-Z-Boy sectional couch with three recliners built in, back in '05. It's the sort of couch where you can fold down every other section and put your feet up and surround yourself with food and drink and pets and newspapers and laptop and cell phone and, of course, the tv remote ~ only to be pissed off when you realize your reading glasses are still way over *there* , and then -- dammit! who the hell is calling on the landline instead of the cell, forcing me to leave the Island to answer!
My knees feel a bit better. It is great to be exercising again (when not parked on La-Z-Boy Island). I'm also walking more. I'm back to doing a little weight-lifting. Which is, and always will be, a total joke, but since I paid for the gym they have to pretend I belong there. ;-)
But today, my whole body felt like lead at the gym and I had to do that *push*-every -minute thing to finish my wussy little workout. To top off the Leaden Body Experience, I stepped on the scale in the locker room only to see one of those, er, unexplained "fluctuations" that drive you mad. Approximately 30 trillion threads on OH are about this very topic, 29.9 trillion of which feature the requisite blue smiley-face having a crying jag (will someone please smack it?). Now that I'm way past menopause (WooHOO!), I can't blame monthly water retention. F***! Time to get away from the scale for awhile. As we left the gym, I complained to my sister about the scale and got a quick, bullet-point list of reasons why I might've fluctuated (take-away message: "shaddup"). Why does that list sound so familar . . . oh yeah, it's what I always tell *her*.
"So how is your week shaping up?"
"I'm swamped. I was already planning to *not *look at stock market news or my 401(k) balance, and now I've got to work in *not* looking at the scale too."
"At least you can still whine about your knees."
"Yes, I still have that."
About Me
Blogville,
Location
26.8
BMI
Surgery
05/30/2002
Surgery Date
Apr 02, 2002
Member Since
