p.rodriguez2007

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well, well.... havent been here in a while, dear diary. nice to write again. things are good, stable at 190 or so.
getting very rebellious bout protein, vits, etc... gotta stop and rewind...
question????: HOW THIN IS TOO THIN?

Boy,
Am I in a pissy mood!  First, I've gained weight since like Halloween (totally my fault) next, I hurt my knee playing ball, even though I weigh like 200 lbs less than before.... to add insult to injury, my back is sore....
I AM SO GOING TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT!!

AT LEAST I DON'T WEIGH WHAT I USED TO!!

well,
a year has come and gone since my surgery.  a year ago i was lying in bed, eating chicken broth and water (only 1/4 cup per day, yikes!)  now,
i am roughly 210 lbs lighter, although i gained some this past weekend celebrating my bday.  its all good, though.  i am feeling better about my weight and how i look.  it has been a LONG JOURNEY though.  things at home have gotten better.  the one thing that is hard is ignoring the "ladies". things were easier when i was bigger! (lol) but like i said, its all good.  i can handle it.  wonder how low i can go? when is it time to stop losing??
pete...........

ITS OFFICIAL! IVE NOW LOST OVER TWO HUNDRED POUNDS.
THIS IS THE MOST INSANE THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why am i unhappy???
my wife cant deal with my "change" when i ask her to be specific about what she does not like, she cant tell me.
i feel guilty about making her feel bad, but even worse because i would not gain the weight back to make things better.  i will never be fat again.
never....
talk bout a mindf@#ck!!!
Pete.

welllllllll...............
finally, my goal of losing two hundred pounds has been reached.
I am now down to 193.  Celebrated by......eating stuff I haven't eaten in
ten months
Eating more now, don't know if its a good thing.  people are telling me 
to gain weight, that I look too thin.(bullshit)

Talked to my dad recently about how I have been having trouble dealing with my weight loss.  Always helps(thanks dad!)

Should I move my goal back, or should I be happy with the way I am??!?!?

Thanks to all that have helped me reach my goal.

Pete
395/195/193

WELL,
I weigh as much weight as i have lost.  I am half the man I used to be.
Only problem is, i don't feel at all excited about it.  yes, i am happy to lose so much weight and having the energy to do things, but the only excitement i feel is that of achieving a goal.  I know of other people who have lost lots of wt, and they are ecstatic about it.  WHY CANT I BE THAT WAY!  I am getting sad just thinking about weight loss. its been 2 mts now, and the feeling has not gotten better.
three more pounds and i will be the bicentennial man.  maybe i should do something crazy to try and get out of this funk....
Pete
395/198

WELL,
weighed myself today and finally, under a deuce!  wasn't that excited about it, though.  lately it seems that i take no pleasure from losing
weight.  in fact, i see other people with weight issues and it makes me
sad.  I kinda wish i was the old me.  sounds weird, right??
i am on track to hit 197 by the end of September, which is cool.
time to think of moving the target back to like 180. (maybe not!!)

I was walking around at the mall today and I ran into this guy that was sitting on a bench.  he looked tired.  he was a big guy and this guy reminded me of how I used to be.  I wondered if anyone had ever mentioned WLS to him or anything like that.  I wanted to talk to him, but I did not want to upset him.  I thought,  maybe he is comfortable where he is at...  maybe he does wish that he were thinner... maybe he did not have ins. or the resources... what made me sad was that a one hour procedure would have such a drastic effect on his life and for whatever reason, he isnt able to get it done.  i watched some people walk by him, some not even looking him in the eye.  maybe i should have said something, but is it really my place to mention it?  being of "normal" weight now makes me realize how shitty overweight people are treated in this world.  will that ever change?  probably not.  we live in a "thin is in" society and that sucks...............

I attend monthly support group meetings, hoping to learn more about WLS or just listen to others share their thoughts.  What i do not understand, however, is the need to bust out the "before" picture every time someone introduces themselves.  I know what many of you are thinking.... Yes, i know we are proud of the weight we have lost, the way we now look, etc.. but I dont understand why anyone would want to be reminded of how they used to look.  One of the first things I did was throw out all fat clothes that i had.  I never was one for pictures.  I saw a pic of myself that my sister had taken of me a few weeks before WLS.  It made me cry.  I never want to see that picture again.... I am being crazy?!?!?

This is my first "official" blog, so I will be brief....  I just got off my scale and I am almost under two hundred pounds.  I dont think ive ever been this weight, not even as a child!  At 197.5, I will be half the man i used to be.  That was my goal for '08 and god willing i will achieve this goal.
I wish you all the best of luck reaching your goals and I hope to hear from anyone soon.

pete.