Heather-H
I am 26 years old (soon to be 27), I weigh 280 pounds and I have struggled with weight my whole life. I was pretty thin as a very young child but as I became school aged the weight started to come and it really hasn't ever stopped aside from a short stint in high school when I stopped eating all together because I wanted to be thin and pretty like everyone else...but who hasn't gone through one of those phases right!? ;-)
I had resigned to the fact that I was going to spend my life fat and alone until about 5 years ago when I met the man of my dreams. I have heard some people say that they settled for whomever they could get because they didn't think anyone could love them because they were fat but that is not what happened for me, even if I had a perfect body I would still have fallen madly in love with Jay! Since meeting Jay though I have started trying to live again, and have unfortunately found that living with my weight is a huge struggle.
2.5 years ago I participated in the Optifast program with Dr. Dent and lost 60 pounds going from 260 down to 200 pounds. I was so proud of myself and promised that this time I would keep the weight off (unlike all the other failed dieting attempts). Well...I then decided to go back to school 2 years ago to work towards a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and found it difficult to be surrounded by people who are very concerned with outer beauty...people who either look at me with disgust because I'm fat or don't even look at me at all because they'd rather pretend I don't exist. It feels like high school all over again and I have to say I don't love that aspect of university! Through stress and likely some bouts of mild depression I managed to not only push on through school but to "find" some of the weight I had lost!
Jay and I got married last August and even though I had gained back pretty much all of the weight I had previously lost I felt beautiful and it was truly the happiest day of my life! We decided that we would start trying to have babies this summer because both of us feel as though we were born to be parents and having children is of huge importance to us.
At my annual physical in January of this year I mentioned our plan for children to my GP and she said she would do some extra blood testing to make sure that everything was in working order for us to have healthy happy babies. When I recieved the results back from my blood test I was devistated...first of all it showed that my cholesterol was borderline high (WTF...I'm 26!!) and it showed that one of my androgens was high which likely meant PCOS...the possibility that I could never have children had never even occured to me...I was totally in shock! So I went for an ultrasound to check for cysts and although it showed that I had no cycsts and that my reproductive parts were seemingly in fine working order (YAY!) it did show that my liver was enlarged consistant with fatty change...again...WTF...I managed to get to my truck before the tears started coming...I was so embarassed and angry at myself.
Here I am at 26 years old with a fat liver and bad cholesterol...I have also managed to not only gain back the 60 pounds I lost through optifast but also to add an extra 20 pounds! I needed a plan of attack so I started researching weight loss surgery like crazy and then eventually I made an appointment to go see Dr. Wicklum (at Dr. Dent's practice) to discuss my options. During my appointment I made a case for myself and weight loss surgery...it was kind of sad because I expected her to say 'no, you're not big enough to need surgery'...but I guess I was sorely mistaken because not only did she agree with me on the surgery but she also diagnosed me with high blood pressure and put on medication for it...again...a huge kick to the ego...high blood pressure and bad cholesterol sound like things that a 60 year old fat man needs to deal with not me at the age of 26!
The next step was talking to my GP about WLS and having her write a letter of support to go along with my OHIP letter. She wrote me a great letter and I sent off my application only to be approved 3 business days later! I was so excited but at the same time I felt like OHIP was calling me fat because they answered so quickly...leave it to me to be mad at them for giving me what I wanted! ;-)
Since approval my husband and I have met with my surgeon and I have attended some WLS support group meetings and made some new friends, one of them being Audrey...my surgery sista! We are having the same surgery on the same day with the same doctor...we are even travelling to Utica together and staying in the same hotel...I swear I don't know if I could have done this without her!! It is now 2 days before surgery and I should be packing as Audrey and her husband Alan are picking us up in about 4 hours but instead I sit here procrastinating (can't help it...I'm a student!) by writing my story for you!
Life has been quite the ride so far and I know it will only get better from here...today when I leave for Utica I will be taking the first step in my journey towards being a better wife, a better future mother who will not teach her children to be fat, and a better role model...I am taking a step towards being a better me and I can't think of any better step to take then that!
