Shrinking-Violet
Why I decided to have Weight Loss Surgery...
Written in March 2004:
I begin this journey at a weight of 229 lbs. @ 5'2" tall. Over the years, I've also started to have health problems that can be attributed to the weight, such as: a hiatal hernia, sleep apnea, GERD, depression, irregular heartbeat, high tri-glycerides & extreme fatigue.
Every obese person has their own "fat story", which is basically the "what, how, & when" of how they came to be overweight. I personally have been overweight my entire life. I started my battle with weight when I was around 8 years old, that was when my parents divorced. I stayed with my Mom, who was single & working full-time. All of my elementary school years were spent as a latch key kid. Plus I was an only child. Food was my everything! I used food to combat boredom, for solace, for comfort, & for self-punishment. I quickly become a compulsive over-eater. Often stuffing myself with food until I felt physically ill, and had to lay down to let the nausea pass. The heavier I became the more lazy I became. And so the pounds kept piling on over the years, due to over-consumption and inactivity.
High school was a very unhappy time for me, being overweight and often maliciously teased because of it. When I was 17 my parents sent me to a behavorial health facility. I was inpatient for 30 days and was diagnosed with compulsive over-eating and severe depression.
In my early 20's I did a lot of yo-yo dieting which resulted in a gallbladder stone the size of a small egg. I have tried every diet under the sun from Weight Watchers, to Atkins, to the SBD, to Slim-Fast, to taking all sorts of diet pills- both Rx & OTC. None of it worked. I would lose a little weight only to put it back on & then some. Basically, all of the dieting I did during my lifetime has rendered my metabolism completely defunct.
I've been very lucky to find a man that loves me entirely- every single pound & roll. We married in Nov. 2004. He thinks I'm beautiful just as I am :)
Unfortunately, my health is declining & my quality of life is poor. Walking up ONE flight of stairs is a major strain. My heart starts beating so fast it hurts! It feels as if I am going to have a heart attack & it takes me a good 10 minutes to catch my breath back.
I wear a size 20/22, and often have a hard time finding stylish clothes that fit me. I have always felt like a reject my entire life and have battled with severe self-esteem issues and paranoia. I'm sick and tired of hearing people say "you have such a beautiful face, if only you could lose some weight". As many of you already know, the disease of obesity is about much more than just eating less. It's also mentally & emotionally rooted.
More than the cosmetic benefits of losing weight, I just want to FEEL GOOD. I want to be active and have energy to do the simple things in life like cleaning my house & having hobbies on the weekends that involve outdoor activity. I want to move freely & know what it feels like to not carry around all this weight- both physically & emotionally. This is why I have decided to pursue WLS. I have done my homework and have thoroughly researched this surgery for over 2 years. I know the pros & cons and I'm very ready for this life-changing journey.
