Jolinda, being scared of being thin is not silly at all, especially if you've never experienced it. I'm 5 foot tall and have been overweight all my life and feel the same way, as if being overweight somehow keeps people from walking all over me. I'm seeing a great therapist and I have a surgery date so I'm ready to face anything that comes. I think maybe you should talk to someone about your feelings so that you won't subconsciously sabotage yourself.