the post no one wants to make

Aug 20, 2012

January 2010 was such an amazing month for me. I turned 28, and a little over 2 weeks later, I got the best present I've ever been given: gastric bypass.

my intentions were great. actually, i started out just fine. the weight came off with a quickness. i stuck to the rules. those pre-existing conditions? they faded away almost immediately.
after not having a menstrual cycle for almost a year, my ovaries were actually doing their job & doing it well!
acid reflux? what acid reflux?
those signs of pre-diabetes? darkness around the neck ... tough/leathery, dark skin around my ankles? all of it cleared up.

then i moved back to Oklahoma in March 2010. i moved in with my sister. bless her heart. at the time, health was not a concern of hers. i took a serious pay cut, so majority of the time, i was subject to whatever groceries she'd bought. it was ok in the beginning ... slowly but surely, though, bad habits crept back. still, though ... from January to September, i'd gone from a size 22 to a size 12. only a couple of sizes away from my goal of a size 8. 

i hit Onederland, but eventually bounced back. i was feeling so ALONE! NO ONE (literally, no one) in my family even TRIED to watch what they ate. so ... a few sips of an Izze soda turned into a whole bottle. i realized i didn't dump as badly as some people, so my sugarfree candy turned into half a Gigi's cupcake - and my sugar cravings resumed. some of the time, i don't even care that i'll end up feeling sick for a while ... i just go for the sugar, anyway. McDonalds crept it's evil way back into my life.

surprisingly, i didn't gain ... i stayed at a size 12.
but life got rough. people died. my department closed so i got laid off. emotional eating got SERIOUS.

today, i sit here and have to admit that while my 14's are still too big, my 12's are exceedingly tight.

i don't know if i've ruined my surgery. i know i still can't eat as much as people with regular digestive systems. but i have to get back on track & go back to the life change i made. the change that made me fee good, healthy, confident.

i know i need to go to the doctor, but that will have to wait until i have insurance again. UNTIL then, though ... my priority is getting my eating under control & getting active, again. because i'm visiting family for the next few days, my activity will be walking/jogging. when i go home, i'll continue walking & jogging, but i'm also doing P90x. (i did this before, and as hard as it is, i LOVE it.) and eating? i will really just have to do the best i can until i'm at home.

i also realize that i have a sugar addiction. well, i don't know if it's an ADDICTION - but you know how sugar is: if you eat it, you want more ... and that isn't your mind playing tricks on you, that's science. so sugar has just got to be cut. i'm going back to sugar free sweets.


ya know, i never watch MTV, but i was flipping through the channels and saw a show called "I Used to be Fat". i became SO ashamed of myself when i saw this young lady lose 90 lbs in less than 4 months. how? eating right & exercising - WHILE HOLDING A JOB & GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL. i was just disgusted with myself. 

so ... here i go! pray for me! i am confident that with sticking with healthy eating and P90x, i WILL meet, and possibly even exceed, my goal of a size 8 in my first round of the program.

0 Comments

About Me
Edmond, OK
Location
34.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
01/27/2010
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Aug 12, 2009
Member Since

Friends 67

Latest Blog 40

×