alsmiles

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 i am feeling guilty i suppose...after seeking info out about my gallbladder/ulcer pain it drew me back to the site.I love it here, i relate so much..in these times of ever change and dynamics it is nice to talk with others who relate. im now 137 down 18 months later and am starting to have little bit of after shock...combined with the fast lose of weight it will definitely break down the body in some forms....Im scared sometimes of how fast it all went...i want to catch up...i discovering all these new things about me,...a new person in so many ways...it was very secure sometimes being bigger i think...no one messed with me i felt safe...lately i feel so small......it backwards but true.

I will get some photos on...respect myself alittle more....and figure this new being out. i love this site....better then therapy.

April 8th 2009 is when i made that life changing decision to vote yes to RNY surgery for me,,,,im 31 was weighing in at 330 pounds at my most worst.......and wanted change......its now august 9th 2009 5 MONTHS and i am down 77 pound and now dancing in wonderland......the place i never thought i would see again......it has been a journey but one i am prepared to take....i love it....to be free from food....for me is like kicking a large monkey off my back...i love it. On my 32 birthday will be celebrated like know other ......i have not been below 200 pounds since my early twenties.....im happpy and cant wait for what lays ahead...it is a new discovery.....i love it. bleesssss you all who have the courage to make change and the great path to walk on. xox

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im down to under a month till my rny surgery...i feel as though i have done all the research possible but know it will be one step at a time after surgery. I am prepared but scared about the what ifs and the after effect......but i know this is what i want...i go to my pre-op march 23rd.....surgery april 8th ....im well on my way. love......to all and me.

This is so surreal, all the battles and the great feelings toward this surgery. I sometimes wake up excited, anticipating but also scared. Scared that i am rearranging my body, scared of the odds, but i am solid with this decision and in my heart i know its right forme. I have less then two months..this friday the 13th and valentimes day i will let loose, have drink ponder laugh at the old ways and let go, get ready mind and body and welcome the anew.

As a natural therapist i will be my best client to myself, wanting to learn about proper diet and mind set....The way i feel is i have this ONE TIME to rock it up...do this and welcome whats to come ...i never want to have to go threw something like this again.......now is my time...and i love it.