andreaz231
March 15, 2007
Im 32 years old, i have been overweight for the last 12 years, and morbidly obese for the last 6 or so years. I have gone from 116 lbs at my thinnest when i was 18 to 250 lbs at my heaviest when i was 30. I now weigh 239 lbs. and being only 5'2, that makes me a very...wide..person. I went from a happy, active, healthy teenager, to a depressed, tired, and overeating 20some year old. And the ball just kept rolling from there on out. For years i kept telling myself that i can lose the weight on my own. I tried endless diets. Then there came a point in life where i just said.."oh well", I dont care if im fat, i love to eat (food was my only entertainment by that time), Im fine with it. But in reality i wasnt really fine, I was in denial. I steared clear of full length mirrors, cameras, and buying new jeans. I havent worn a pair of jeans in 6 or 7 years. Its not that i cant find them in my size, its that i hate the way they look, if im wearing elastic waist pants and a long shirt , in my mind, I'm hiding the fat.
Well , then reality slaps ya in the face as you accidentally look at the full length mirror as you walk by, or you see the snapshot someone took of you at the lake. So now, I'm not in denial anymore. I know im fat, and not only am i fat, but im very unhealthy, and wayyyy out of shape. And its time for me to do something about it, I'm not getting any younger, and my kids ( I have 2, a 5yr old girl, and 6 yr old boy) are running circles around me while i sit in a lawn chair watching life pass me by.
About 2yrs ago i started looking into GB surgery, it took me a year to actually go to my pcp and ask him about it. That was June 2006. I've jumped thru all the hoops, and am now on my last week of my 2 week liquid diet. Its hard not to eat anything. But I keep telling myself.. that the end will justify the means. And as my surgery date gets closer (March 21, 2007), I find myself a bit freaked out. I'm not really worried about the surgery itself, its life after surgery that I'm worried about. I wonder if I'm mentally prepared for this. I think the one thing i worry about the most is if im gonna be hungry or craving all those foods i ate before. I guess its just hard to imagine , not being hungry, and being full after just a few bites of food.
I've been reading many stories from GB patients these last couple of days, trying to prepare myself for what lies ahead. And i pray every night that all goes well.
