ani.rothman

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So I experienced dumping syndrome for the fist time since surgery last night. I still feel very weak and my stomach is still rather unpleasant. I finally made it to my 1 month mark on Sat, and to date I have lost 25 lbs officially from the doctor's office, but I've dropped a few more pounds since then. I am excited that I can fit into my husband's shirts with no problem and I can even get his jeans on (I use to love to wear his jeans!) though there is a bit of a muffin top still, but the fact that I can even button and zip them up is a miracle. So even though according to the doctor, I am already malnourished (though I've been trying very hard to get all that I need- I'm not there yet ) and I feel sick all of the time, I am still glad that I have had the surgery done. I know that with time things will get better and I just need to find the right combination of things to work it all out. It really is an adventure, and one well worth it in the end!

So tomorrow I will be 3 weeks post-op. I guess I should already be off the pain meds because I am having to pull teeth to get my script refilled. I wouldn't care if they took me off the pain pills if I wasn't in so much freakin pain!!!! Do they think that I enjoy having to pop pills every few hours just so I can walk around and tend to my children. I would much rather be past the pain stage and not need to take anything. However, since I am in pain and literally can't walk with out the pain medicine- I need it. Just give it to me.

So this had been an interesting journey thus far! As of yesterday at the doctor's office I have lost 22 pounds. Overall I am excited, but at the same time a little disappointed. I lost the first 16 lbs in the first week post-op. Then the rest just trickled off over the past week. I know I shouldn't think about it that way, because I have still lost a lot of weight in just 2 1/2 weeks, but you know... I haven't had too many problems. The only major thing is that my incision has split open in 2 spots and I had to have staple put back in above and below the splits. Those have been in for a week and I have a week to go before I get them out. But I haven't had problems with nausea and vomiting and I have done a pretty good job at avoiding dumping (knock on wood!) so I am pretty proud of my self for that. All in all I am happy! I've had my first restaurant test and I did great! And then Easter is coming up, so I think I should do pretty good with that, let's just keep our fingers crossed lol! Well that is about it for now.

so today makes 8 days post-op and i have been on a roller coaster from hell. i got to come home after 3 days in the hospital. then for the next 3 days all i did was mope around and cry and cry  and cry. it was an emotional nightmare! i am glad to say that as i am writing this today i am doing considerably better, not back to full tilt yet of course, but better. i can't get comfortable- ever and my insides feel like they are trying to over lap one another in pain. i go tomorrow to get my staples and drain taken out. i'm a little nervous about the drain, because i can only imagine it is going to hurt like hell. but i'm sure it beats the aggervation and pain it is causing me now. not to mention that it freaks me out just to look at it! i'm starting to find it a little easier to get on an eating schedule, though it is all still so new to me. i've been very good so far with not over eating and things like that. but it is so hard to watch my kids eat this delicious food that i can't enjoy. i'm hoping it gets easier. still, i'm feeling a little empty after this whole experience. i think the main reason is that i don't have my husband- my best support system in the world, and it is taking a toll on my recovery. my kids still don't get why i can't do everything for them and they get very impatient and whinny- which absolutely drives me crazy!! i'm just ready to be out of this stage and moving along with my post-op life. i feel like i'm a prisoner in my own home. i am not a home body and it is driving me crazy that i can't hop in the car and go for a drive or go shopping. my kids are getting antsy too which is making for a chaotic house. iti's not very condusive to my recovery. it's just been a lot, and i'm venting as usual. i find it helps me move forward. so i am sure i will be back in a few days with another update. until then, wishing myself luck!

So I woke up this morning, and it hit me, "Oh my goodness! My surgery is NEXT week!!!!!" And I feel like I'm nesting lol. Like when you do while you're pregnant. Go figure! At least my house is looking good. I've rearranged it and cleaned it and everything else, and now I am exhausted... 9 more days!!!!!

So I have accepted the fact that my husband will not be around for my surgery and I am at peace with it. God has a reason for everything and I trust in him whole heartedly. He will give me all of the strength and help I need and everything will work out just fine in spite of my husband's captain trying to mess up my life to benefit his. I even forgive him because one day he will be accountable to God for his actions here on earth (this isn't the first time he has "screwed" us over). So now I am just enjoying the time that I have with my husband before he leaves and still getting for my surgery~ only 10 days away!! So here is to a great surgery and an even better recovery!

So I just found out today that my husband's boat is not going to let him off for my surgery! After they have been telling him for weeks that he was going to have off, they slapped us in the face with a "NO" this morning. And to top it all off we are not even prepared for him to deploy in a week, because he wasn't suppose to be going! So now what the hell am I suppose to do?! I am just so pissed that words can't even begin to describe how I am feeling. Then to make it all the better, his command had the nerve to call my surgeon and try to reschedule my surgery for me!! (we are moving cross country in June so pushing back my surgery 2 months like they want to would only give me 1 month of aftercare with my surgeon before I drove cross country!) Some people have some effin nerve! I can't wait for my husband to leave this command so I can finally give them a piece of my mind! Oh- and to top all of it off, they have been letting husbands off for their wives to have breast implants and other random shit that is not nearly as huge as WLS! I just really don't know what to do. Well of course I know what I'm going to do, I'm just going to have to suck it up and make it work. Where there is a will, there is a way. At least I will have my dad for the first week post-op. Yay me! This is what I get for trying to better my life. If I wasn't so excited about having this surgery done, and had so much time and energy invested in it I would just call the whole thing off, because at this point the stress just doesn't seem worth it. Of course I know it is, it just doesn't feel like it right now. Lots and lots of prayers are welcomed from any and all of you! Thank you for listening to my rants! haha

and waiting! This is one of the worst things ever. I am so excited about starting my new life and I still have a whole nother month to go! So naturally the time is passing by very slowly, just because that is how the world works... I can't stand it any more! I wish I had a busy schedule so I wouldn't think about it so much~ oh well. I will wait patiently I suppose, in the mean time, if anyone has any ideas of how to help pass the time, please let me know!
 

I met with my surgeon for the first time yesterday and scheduled my surgery! The big day is March 5 of this year and I can't wait!!! My surgeon is Dr. Preston Carter, and he seems like he is going to be great. I have the utmost confidence in him and am looking forward to a great surgery and recovery!