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I am in my sixth week post op. I am beginning to lose some of the awful depression I faced and I am less nausous (or how ever you spell it) I am still exhaused and take a nap every afternoon. Slowly life is getting a routine.... I am just impatient. But things are going well

I go back to work on Monday. I guess I should be excited about this, but I have been in a depressed mood this week. I am sleeping alot and I feel very blah. I am tired of the food choices I have, tired of things that are flavorless, tired of having water all the time. I get so tired of the taste of water. uggggh. Then the protein shakes! Ughhh I have had it up to here with the protien shakes. I am drinking them, but I am not liking them. Food used to be an enjoyable outlet, and not it frustrates me. I know that is part of coming to terms with my food addiction, but I am a little crabby right now...................sigh.

Whew it was rough. I had some complications so I had to be back into surgery 48 hours after my first one.  There was a mechanical malfunction with one of the surgical instruments so one of my laprscopic  surgical areas did not take and I had some leakage. My surgeon (Dr. Leslie McClellan, EXCELLENT SURGEON) hurried me back to surgery (another 6 hours) to correct and ensure enverything was staus quo.
I had a rough 8 day stay in the hospital. I hated being away from home so long. I was always so dopey feeling and just wanted to go home..and here I am. I go back to work on the 26th.
Right now my biggest challange is making sure to keep dressings changed 2-3 times daily and that I eat on time. Making sure to get all my protein shakes in for the day. I am glad I had the proceedure done, so glad I have the doctor I have, it was just alot tougher than I imagined. I am down 30 lbs since Feb 26th.  344 to 314. Pretty good!!

I am getting everything ready to leave in the morining. The Hospital is about an hour away so I have to leave at 5am (BLECH) I am nervous but ready to get on with it. I had many visit from good friends and family this weekend and I know when I roll into surgey I will not be alone. So here it goes...time to get my life change started.... See everyone on the loser side!!

I was sitting in the bathtub tonight thinking about the clothes I want to wear in the future. The places I want to go. The shoes I want to wear, having old friends no longer recognize me. Then I tried to imagine my face, and I cannot . I have no idea what I am going to look like. I only can see and feel the happiness.

Well I am having my proceedure in 7 days and I am so nervous. I have anxiety issues anyway, so I am doing a lot of self talk.  I started my clear liquid diet that my doctor requires for the sugery.......HOLY FREEKING COW this is tough. I have a headache, I am hungry and it is just the first day....crud.... I know this is the way I need to go for my health, but I am feeling a bit needy and whiny today. I guess I am afraid. Afraid of the surgery, afraid I will fail, just afraid. I know it is normal to go though all the feelings I am. I just have to think about the future and all the things I will be able to do that I cannot do today. 
I want to feel beautiful, it has been awhile since I have felt that way. I know everyone knows what I mean. In the words of India Arie " I want to go to Beautiful"
This week will be getting my final preperations finished, finish letters I am writing to loved ones, getting my living will finished, and getting my home ready for my post surgery arrival. I would appreciate any word of wisdom or support........talk to you later this week

I have been reading this site for over a year as I get ready for my surgery. I have thought many times to join for support. I am so stubborn. It is so hard for me to ask for help. I need to learn that asking for help does not make me weak or less of a person, it makes me human, and that is all I can be.
Well hello. I am 38 years old and live with my partner and our 3 dachies, a jack russell and 2 opinionated cats. My life is good. Things are good. My food issues on the other hand are trying to kill me.
I have been overweight my whole life, but obese since puberty, with a short stint of anorexia in high school for 3 years where I maintained 160 lbs which was a size 11 for me.
As an adult I have always been obese, and becomming more so each year.
My weight is currently 344lbs. I have my surgery scheduled for February 26th 2007 and I am ready but so afraid. I am ready to begin to have energy, get out and do things in the summer, redo my home, get active, wear cute clothes and not have to feel like I have to drape and hide my stomach.
I am afraid of dying from the proceedure. 
I have talked about it a bit with my surgeon and friends, but not too much. I don't want to frighten my friends and family or possibly talk myself into a frenzy...I do have issues with anxiety, I take Prozac, but I still have to watch myself. 
I am also afraid of losing my greatest comfort, food. It has always been there for when when nobody else was. It was fed to me by people who loved me and wanted me to feel safe and loved. Now I need to see food as nutrition, only what my body needs, and leave the coping piece behind. I am afraid that I will fail, I am afraid that my addiction to food is too strong. I don't want to fail again. This is too important.
So I wish my first post could be a getting to know me light and fluffy thing, but I am just not there. Talk to you soon.

Lynn