anne_from_indiana

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I have lost 38 pounds and I am starting to fit into size 18s.  :)  Yay!  I was wearing a pair of size 20 shorts yesterday and I was told by at least three people that they were going to fall off of me!  I didn't realize how baggy they were, I was just so glad to be wearing them again!!

I honestly think that if I had been honest with myself, and allowed myself to shop for clothes that really fit me, I would have been wearing 24s.  In August of last year I bought two pairs of capris that were size 22, and they are waaaaaaaaaaay too big for me now! :)

It is funny, because I don't feel like I have lost all that much weight.  I mean, 10 years ago, I weighed 175.  So, for me to weigh 232 today seems like I have so far to go and that I have not lost that much.

And yet, people keep telling me I am looking so much better.  

I realize that there is no magic wand, but don't tell me you never wished to just wake up some day and be instantly thinner.  Yeah, I thought so.  :)

I am still not exercising and/or working out or even walking.  Yes, I am active.  How can I not be with 5 kids.  My full time job as chauffeur to my children keeps me very busy, on top of teaching all day!!!  I know I need to make time for myself.  I want to.  I haven't been able to, yet.  

The summer can't come fast enough.  Trying to drag my seniors through Hamlet these last few weeks was a crazy idea..... no one wants to read Shakespeare, even me!  :)

Till next time,

Anne

Ok, so for the past four days I was not losing any weight.  I think my metabolism was trying to catch up with me.  I was so discouraged, but my eating habits did not change.  For those of you reading this to compare to your story, I have to admit that I have not been exercising at all.  I am guilty.  For those of you who are reading this because you have been adivising me to exercise, oh, I am so totally working out every day!  :) hehehe ok, not.

So I am still addicted to the Before and After profiles.  I want to see how my journey is comparing to the journey of others.  By reading their stories, I actually feel better about myself. For one thing, I am not sick.  At all.  I have had three vomiting episodes.  All were my fault.  I let myself get so hungry that I didn't chew up my food or pause between bites. Dumb, dumb, dumb.  Hello toilet!  I HATE to throw up!!!!

My experiment is working, though. Other than the episodes of vomiting, I am eating "normal" foods and just being careful about my choices.  No pain.  No other outward problems.

I also tried on a pair of 18 Levi Jeans that have been in my closet for about 4 years and have not fit me.  I was able to button them, but I couldn't zip them.  Maybe next week... :)

I am going to measure myself next Friday.  I may post the results for others to see.  I am keeping a journal on the computer of the inches.... but maybe someone else would like to read my profile and compare...

Till next week,

Anne

Five weeks post op, and down thirty pounds.  I didn't think I was EVER going to see a number bigger than the 20's.... thank goodness!

As far as eating, I am experimenting a little bit.  I have been trying stuff that is NOT on the pureed diet, because the pureed diet is sooooooooooo boring!  Today my DH fixed chipped beef gravy and biscuits.  I had 1/2 a biscuit and put some gravy over the top.  So far so good.  I am just so ready to eat "normal" foods, but smaller portions of those foods!!!  I want my tool to work for me, but I don't want to have to eat chemically enhanced crap that tastes like crap, too.

Last night I actually had 1/2 to 3/4 of a glass of wine, too.  I know.  I know.  But I decided I wanted to try.  I was fine.  Didn't even get buzzed, but I didn't want to push it.  So, it may be a long time before I try again....  I just don't want to hurt my stomach...

I'm still eating smart and eating all the right things, and honestly eating very little.  Yesterday, my entire diet consisted of:
             One protein drink
             1-2 oz Pork Barbeque
             1-2 oz Fish
             A WHOLE lotta water!
             1/2 glass wine
So, it is not like I am eating a ton and stretching out my pouch.  I'm just working towards normalcy, slowly.

And normalcy to me is NOT gaining weight back.  It is just being able to eat what the rest of this army is eating, but only a few bites.

Anne

That I am healthy and doing well.  She doesn't want to see me for three months.

But I am depressed because the doctor's scale weighed me as losing only 24 pounds, when my scales CLEARY say I have lost 27 pounds... I know, I know three pounds, whoopee, but it matters to me...  at least it does today.  Maybe in a month or two, I will look back on this and laugh about how silly I was getting depressed over three pounds.

I am still struggling with walking.  I need to walk more!  It is so pretty out and I am sitting here typing in the computer when I should be walking outside.

That is all for now.

Anne

And only 23 pounds gone.

I know I should not be depressed.  I know I should not step on the scale 50 times a day.  I know I should just wait patiently and the weight will soon begin to slowly drop.

I just can't help it.  I even bought a SECOND scale -- a digital one because I wanted to SEE the difference!

I am struggling with the food, too.  I am supposed to be on a pureed diet for the next four weeks... It is hard.  It really is.  Especially when I am cooking food for everyone else that looks and smells so good!  I know I can't have it, but that doesn't mean I don't want it!!!  Last night the boys cooked steaks on the grill!  Oh, they smelled soooooooo good!  I really wanted some, but i was so afraid I would have an episode.

I am also struggling with the walking.  The other night DH and I went for a walk.  It wasn't the 30 minutes that I am required to walk, but it was walking.  And, I was a little "winded" so I know that it was good for me.  The weather has just been so awful!  Cold AND rainy.  Not good walking weather.  DH suggested buying another treadmill, but honestly, the last one we had was such an albatross.  With 5 kids and 3 adults in this house, there just isn't room for a treadmill.

So, I am still eating very little.  Craving stuff I can't have, yet.  And, what is surprising me the MOST is how much I want a SALAD!!!  I used to not be able to tolerate lettuce, but right now a nice crisp lettuce salad sounds really good.

The waiting game until solid foods is slow but sure.  The time will pass as quickly as it did for my surgery...  but I so hate waiting!  Sigh.

Anne

And down fifteen pounds!!!  I went back to work yesterday.  It was nice.  People actually MISSED me!!  :)

But, today, was hard.  Hard to wake up, hard to motivate myself to go in, and even harder to make it all the way through the day.  I know it will slowly get easier, but i don't want anyone out there thinking that this is an easy surgery.  I'm really sore, and VERY grouchy.  I know the pain will fade.  And, yes, maybe it would have been better to stay at home longer, but DANG, I was getting BORED!!!  And, I was losing the motivation to move.  At school I move a lot more.  The walk down to the office for my mail is a nice little hike.  I am not walking the 30 minutes each day, and I know I should, but that is going to have to wait until my soreness fades some more. (and the weather improves)

One more day at school, and then a four day weekend. 

That's all for now!

Anne

I have read probably two hundred profiles and I didn't want to be the poster who typed every single moment, because I wanted others to be able to share the most IMPORTANT events in my journey.

I guess right now, day to day IS the most important event in my journey...  So, here I am posting already, and I am not a week out of surgery yet.

I hit a couple of milestones.  At least they were for me.  

One, I have been "less tired" overall.  When I was in the hospital trying to type in my blog, I kept falling asleep in the middle and I would wake up to a screen full of m's or something.  When I first got home, it was very similar.  If I was not up walking around, my head was nodding and I was somewhere between almost awake and dead asleep.

Two, I am seeing and end to the soreness.  Oh I am still sore.  REALLY sore, but this is becoming more of a "oh yeah, I pulled that muscle" sore, rather than a "OMG I'm gonna pass out" sore.  Last night I even was able to roll over in bed without MUCH pain.  At least compared to the nights before.

Three, I have lost ten pounds.  I'm really bad about keeping promises to myself.  Gee, I wonder why no diet ever worked?  But, after the first two days home, and the scales had not moved, I had promised myself that I was going to NOT weigh myself until at least a week had passed.  Well, this is silly, but my underwear has been fitting better.  It is Victoria Secret XL and it used to be really tight and roll down very annoyingly.  I decided that maybe the scale was finally moving -- and it was.  Now I am afraid that I won't be able to stay off of it, but I am going to try.  I may make a promise to myself again.  We'll see how that goes.

The last thing that I want to mention is that I could NOT have survived this week without my DH.  Of course he has always taken good care of me.  Imagine someone with infant twins and a C-section....  He was always good about getting up in the middle of the night for the babies.  Still is.  And, now that I am the baby, he is so wonderful, so caring, and he is still calling me "pretty girl."  He always has.  As he watched these 100 lbs. climb on my frame, he still considered me beautiful.  I am a very lucky person that I have found my soul mate.  I hope that others may be as lucky.

So, my next promise is to not update this blog for at least a week.  We'll see if I make it. :)

Anne

Ok, this hurts.  I didn't expect the pain.  The surgeries I have had in the past don't seem to be that painful in retrospect.  Of course they probably were, but, I don't remember that....

Anyway, I got some good advice from the chatroom today.  Basically they informed me that I was experiencing NORMAL symptoms and that I needed to suck it up.  I am really glad that someone told me that because I needed to hear it.

I'm drinking water, milk with my pain meds because the taste of it sucks, and i am trying to get my first protein shake down.  This one may take a couple of days.  hehehe

Anyway, thanks for all your support.  My DH and I are going for a walk outside later if it wams up, and if not, then we will do it in here.  Right now it is nap time.

Anne

Well, after spending about an hour in the car, we pulled up in front of the house.  I could BARELY get out of the car!!!  Dang! I'm sore.  I was also really sleepy, so I came in and got some water and went straight to bed.  But I don't know how long i was in there.  We had to "spring forward" our clocks today.  And, I didn't pay attention to what time it said when I laid down, either.

Oh well.  And it is FREEZING outside, so I can't go for a walk.  I made a few laps around the house.  I know it is not the same.  But it is also almost nappy time again! :)

I promise I am going to do everything the doctor told me, but i need to get over this soreness.  I also know the walking helps with the soreness.... but I'm sleepy, too....  :)

More later

Anne

Well it hasn't even been 24 hours since surgery.  My stomach muscles and my throat are sore.  Other that, I'm doing ok.  I'm ready to go home.  I know that.  Still sleepy, too.  I have also walked 28 laps (16 laps = one mile).

Anne