Anni

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I spent the first 3 1/2 weeks in a plateau.  Its funny, a trip to my sugeon always causes one.  I could tell he wasn't overly thrilled with my weight loss, but he must have been ok with it, because I don't go back to see him until August.

But when I asked him about a percentage number on my computer print out, he blew me off with . . oh thats just a number that tells me about where you are.

He must either have forgotten, or not cared to remember, that I am a math teacher.  Oh well, surgeons choose surgery for a reason.  I just wish he would be more forthcoming.  Still, no one is perfect all the time.

But this week, with the assistance of a stomach bug, I have lost about 8 lbs.  I lost more, but some of it was fluids, and promptly returned.  I weighed 209 this morning, which was my weight when I got pregnant with my son.  I was 25  ... I am 47 now.  That makes for almost 90 lbs.

I am still having trouble trusting this tool, I keep thinking that I will stop losing.  But its done so much for me, I just love it.  I know that most people dump on sugar, and I was really worried, because I am a chip freak.  But yesterday I had 2 handfuls . . . ok, they were big handfuls,  of chex mix . . . and I was horribly sick.  Heart palpitations, dizzyness, nasua  . . .. it even affected my spelling, lol!

So my wonderful surgeon has arranged for me to dump on what I was most worried about, chips!  He may not have a great bedside manner, but he does deliver!

I got a different hair cut, and I have promised myself a trip to the eye doctor when I break 200 . . . and that is only 8 lbs. away!!!

Still tho, I think I am beginning to eat more, and I MUSt be more faithful about exercise, the stomach bug blew pretty much a whole week.  I want to do everything I can to make this work.

Here's hoping I will break 200 before the end of February, I want to go shopping with my mother and buy clothes in the regular department . . .I am almost an 18  . .. sigh.  Patience is a virtue, its just not one of mine!

I find it has been over a month since I have posted, but the holidays have been a blurr.  How very different they are on WLS!!  Last year I ate into insensibility, suffered guilt, and the physical effects, and went back to teaching with nothing to show for it . . . no new clothes, hair . . . and tired.  I threw an open house which almost killed me, even tho my mother, daughter, son, and husband helped.

This year I settled for a sit down dinner with 22 people.  The house was perfectly decorated, the tables were lovely, and the dinner was a smash success.  I still just about broke out in hives, but that was more from falling off the treadmill 2 days before the event, than the tiredness of the event itself.  My husband, bless his heart, ended up doing a bit more than he bargained for  . . .  but they were HIS deacons and family, after all.

I didn't realize how dangerous treadmills could be, but since the accident everybody and their dog has shared horror stories, including my pain management doctor, (who started out saying  . . .YOU DID WHAT?).  I love my treadmill, and with my bad foot, its pretty much the only exercise I can get, as I cant handle uneven footing, and need to be able to glab a handrail sometimes.  But I have learned the hard way that if you are going to drink water while you walk on one HANG ON with the other hand.

Even now, over a month later, I am still sporting several of what is called deep tissue bruise.  But I am very fortunate that I didn't break or twist anything.  Still, if a teadmill has an emergency off strap USE IT!!!  Because if you fall and the treadmill doesnt stop . . . you bounce around a LOT!!!

But I am able to get so much more done now, even with my RSD foot.(and treadmill bruises).  The pain has continued to be severe from that, and on long days I end up taking more pills than I want to control it.  I am still trying to find the limit between functioning pain and non- functioning pain--without having to crash into it head first.

But when I look back at everything I have done over this season, I am still amazed.  I cooked, cleaned, and washed for 12 people over Thanksgiving, and did almost all of the Christmas shopping then.  We decorated the house, and a week later threw the dinner party.  I bought, wrapped, and in some cases, sent some 30 presents, went to 4 parties, taking food each time, and taught school full time.

The above paragraph wasnt bragging, it was thankful, my life is so much fuller now, and with 90 lbs. still to go, I can't wait to see what God has planned, I am just so sorry I have been such a limited tool because of my weight.  And when I look back at what I have deprived my husband and children of, my heart breaks.

But I am here now, and I have chosen to make a difference.  There are so many people out there still wallowing in the despair of not having control over this demon.  I am just sorry I waited this long to have the surgery.

At 72 lbs. gone, I am not even halfway to my goal, but I love the change that has come into my life, God is so very kind.  I still have an enormous amount to learn, to balance, and to deal with without using food, but I am enjoying the journey more than I ever dreamed I would.

My New Years resolution is not to abuse this wonderful tool, to be sweeter to my loving family, to be a better teacher, and to let God use me fully.

God is good!  I am looking forward to what January will bring!

The plateau finally ended, and I have now lost 53 lbs.  I can wear everything in my closet, and have bagged up at least 5 bags of clothes I will never wear again.  I am so happy!!!

My blood sugar is almost normal, 119 fasting, which is awesome.  My GP agreed I could stay off my medication, and we will do another test in January just to be sure.  My blood pressure still requires medication, but I think that comes with teaching school.

I am exercising, doing a combination of treadmill, stationary bike, and video areobics/resistance/weight.  I have to get up at 5 am, but I do have more energy now, so I can do it.  Before, this would not have been possible.

I have more pain from my RSD foot, but as my pain meds doctor said, "You are doing more, with pain, before you were doing less, and still with pain."  That is the way I am going to look at it, I hoped the weight loss would change it, but I will be thankful for what I have.

Everyone is noticing the weight loss, as I have finally bought a couple of shirts that "fit", and have dragged old outfits out of storage.  The students think its great, and always try suck up, but a lot of the comments are real.  The staff at school is very supportive, and the church is great!

I go to my in laws for Thanksgiving, and I am anxious to see how it goes.  We will be there Tuesday thru Saturday, which is a little long.  But I am taking my crochet, and I have plans to keep us busy.  They are great people, and fun to talk to, I just don't want to wear out our welcome.

Oct. 15

Talk about a plateau. I finally got up the nerve to do a weight report on www.fitday.com . . . its taken a month to lose 4 lbs. That is pretty bad. I was doing everything I was supposed to . . .and nothing. I finally really kicked up the exercise, and I have lost about 3 lbs in the last week, I think. If this had actually been a real diet I soooo would have broken it!!!

But you just have to keep the faith, that it will come off . . . and it does. Its just horrible remembering that. I am lucky to have a patient NUT, who is very supportive. And a wonderful, understanding husband!!!

Oct. 19

It's going so slow, and I am having a hard time not being discouraged.  I saw my surgeon and he thought the weight loss was a little slow as well.  This is really hard.  I think if I could break it, I would.  I miss food as my comfort.

Aug. 13

Sure enough . . Ann? You are fine, the surgery is all finished!! I was so muzzy tho, I kept waking up thru the night thinking it wasn't done. The cardiac doc hadn't forwarded the stress test results, and my irregular beat was bouncing right along the morning of surgery. But Dr. Thomas assured the anastesiologist that I had passed it, so they went ahead with the surgery.

The hospital I had the surgery done at is a small one that specializes in day surgery. Gastric bypass patients remain in ICU until they are dismissed from the hospital, and the one-on-one care that we get is awesome!! I am sending thank you cards to all the patient, caring nurses who walked with me and prayed with me.

I stayed an extra day due to a hematoma and the irregular heart beat. That afternoon I was an unwilling witness to a tragedy in the ICU. A young girl in for a back procedure coded in recovery, revived, then coded again in ICU, and did not survive. It came out that she had not been completely frank about her medical history.

But each and every one of the medical people involved worked long and hard for her recovery, and each of them were very sad. Sometimes I take doctors' and nurses' care for granted, but I really saw the love they have for people that afternoon. I wish it had had a better in result.

I am at home, my mother and dad came in to help, as my DH has a horrible cold. But my mom is an awesome care giver, and is in her element mothering all of us. If I have half of her energy at 72, I will be thrilled.

I have a large hematoma (that's medical for BRUISE) on my left size. There was some leftover scar tissue and adhessions from my 2 c-sections that made some things difficult. I go into get it checked either tomorrow or Tuesday. We will see how excited I am about the 50 mile drive tomorrow.

But ya'll, I can tell you two things: you will have some gas, and it will get better if you walk!!!!!!! I am not up to outside of the house, but I have walked a 80 ft circuit around the L shaped of our interior at least 100 times. My doctor has me on a clear sugar free diet until Wednesday, and even that is giving me gas. But my DH found gas-X strips that disvolve beautifully!

Everybody was right about the lack of hunger. My major concern is just getting in enough fluids without getting sick. I still like water, but my pouch fills up really fast! I have found, tho, that sipping while I walk helps. Warm broth goes easier that cold stuff. And there are all kinds of broth out there!

My mother brought a ham (my favorite meat, sigh). So I stuck a slice in a coffee cup, poured water on it, and nuked it. I took the ham out, and sipped the broth. It was awesome, and I don't feel deprived!

I have done without any medication except for pain meds, and toporal for the irregualar heart beat. My blood sugar has dropped to the low 130s, and my blood pressure to 135/88, already!!! I will give these numbers to my surgeon to see what he thinks.

And yes, the other reports were quite correct, I usually only have a period once every 3 or 4 months, but the surgery kicked it in about 2 months early, sigh . ..

August 14

My feet are swelling, and my side really hurts. I think I have walked 10 miles in my house, lol, but it really helps with the gas.

My mother has been so busy taking care of my poor father, who has advanced Parkinson's, and my poor husband, who has a terrible sinus infection, that I feel bad we haven't gotten to talk more together. She is sooo awesome.

The only down side is that she has cooked a lot of my favorite meals for my Dad and DH. Of course, right now, to be honest, EVERYTHING is my favorite!!! This clear liquid diet is tough, and they weren't kidding about the head hunger. I am also having a terrible time figuring out when I am full. But this is a work in progress.

I go back to the surgeon tomorrow, and I am going to ask for something for fluid retention, which was what my blood pressure medication took care of. On the bright side, my sugar level was down to 107 today, with no meds!!!!! Whheeeeeeeee!!!!

August 16

I hab caught my husbands code. My mother had to take my father home early. There is nobody to cook for my husband except me, he does not cook. There is nobody to make me protein shakes. Coughing hurts a LOT with stitches.

I have always used food as a comforter when I felt bad. I knew that I would have to find alternatives, but I didn't think it would be the first week.

My husband has had to sleep in another bedroom, we keep waking each other up. He is sympathetic, but I always have to ask for anything.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I will eat some worms . . .lololol. There, that was a great pity party!!

August 17th.

11 pounds. I was carrying a LOT of water, but the drugs the surgeon prescribed seem to be helping. My feet are still a little puffy. I am still pretty sick, so I am experimenting with soups. We arent supposed to drink with our meals . . .so how does soup fit in with this?? I think i will post that question. My husband and I threw caution to the wind and slept in the same bed last night, it was wonderful!

Aug. 21

I went back to school today as the house was driving me nuts!!! I got pretty tired, but I did it, and it felt great! One sweet student told me I already looked thinner! My husband is still pretty sick with his cold, and has to go out of town tomorrow, that is going to be hard.

Aug. 22

A thunderstorm hit right after school, and I drove home soaked to my underwear. I thought my husband might still be at home since his truck was in the drive, but I had forgotten he was taking a van since he is picking up people in Houston. I am 47 years old, but I had a lump in my throat as I walked in tired, wet, and cold to a dark empty house. But I managed to dry off and eat tuna out of a pouch. It wasn't too bad.

Aug. 23

I fell hard against the wall this morning leaning over to feed the cat. I felt a lash of white lightning whip around my side from the incision to the back. Then I started sweating. I called the surgeon who said I was probably OK, and just to take the pain meds. When I explained this meant I couldn't drive to school he chuckled.

I called my principal, who was very nice, and then crawled back to bed. The meds kicked in, and I just floated the rest of the day, and waited for my husband to come home. He came in hot, tired, and frazzled. I felt terribly guilty at the look on his face when I told him what had happened.

This is not much fun.

August 25

The pain was so bad I had to leave school, I literally couldn't stand and talk. The surgeon sent me for a CT scan, where I had to drink liquid and try not to throw up. Fortunetly it was clear, but I have bruised and torn the muscles they cut in surgery, and it will take awhile for them to heal.

My dear surgeon, who is somewhat vague, said . . It will take as long as it will take. . . I managed to pin him down in to my taking Monday off, and seeing him on Tuesday. I am hoping back to school next Wednesday, but he said that improvement would be slow. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

We didn't get home from the hospital until almost 4 pm, and I had only had a protein shake at 6 am that morning. We had stopped at the grocery store to get fish, (I can eat that easily), and medication. My husband stopped to speak to people he knew, which was hard. I was in so much pain, and didn't know how to explain.

When we got home I tried to get up to get something to eat, while he unloaded groceries and went to change. But all I could do was sit in a chair and cry. He is the sweetest man in the world, but he is not a nurse, and is terribly busy this week, without taking off for me. But I couldn't get up, and I was in despair.

Then he came in and very gently made suggestions about using the Foreman grill to cook the fish. He did it, and helped me into bed.

I will make this up to him, when I get better I will.

August 28th

Well, its Monday, and I just spoke with my long suffering subsitute. Everybody is being very nice and understanding, my DH is making protein shakes for me, which makes them easier to drink somehow. I am managing to cook, and have been experiminting with soups and soft food. DH is thrilled, as he is NOT a cook.

The weight literally seems to be dropping off, although I know that it will slow down soon. Still, i have lost 26.5 pounds from my hospital weight, and there is NO way that is all water. I am noticing a difference in my tummy, face, and, oddly enough, feet. Today I think I will try small of the smaller size clothes in my closet ... just to see . . .

Sept 10

A month ago today my life changed. When I stepped on the scale this morning I had lost 35 lbs. Somehow it doesn't seem real. I have learned so much this past month, it has been hard work, but well worth.

We bought a treadmill, my DH put it together, and then . . . it didn't work. So my darling took it back, got another one, and put it together again. I love him so much.

He fixes my shake in the morning, many days, and brings the peanut butter and crackers I have before going to sleep. When I was apologizing for all the extra work, he looked at me and said . . . honey, we are in this together.

I will walk thru fire for this man.

The muscles I tore are healing slowly, but they ARE healing. It's frustrating tho, because there is so much I want to do. But they are apparently connected to the diaphragm, and and when they spasm, it is hard to breathe.

We went to a fish fry last night, and had to leave early. I had 2 bites of fish, then my back spasmed and that was it. I sat there in agony until my husband finished, and then tried to slip out quietly. Lol,, the surgery is healing FINE, its just the stupid fall that is making life hard still.

I am having a great time with beef jerky. Its fun to chew, easy for me to keep down, and high in protein--I really have horrors about my hair falling out. I didn't think I could handle it, but have had no problems. Its funny that it gives me no problem, while I have gagged twice on baked fish.

I am getting into a smaller size of clothing, although I did try on one shirt that is still too small. But it never fit, I ordered it from a catalog. Still tho, I seem to be losing every place but my stomach and behind. I wonder how soon I can exercise fully, I will have to ask my doctor's rep.

I am, however, walking at least 7.5 miles on the treadmill every day. I am doing it barefoot, as I still have trouble tying my shoes. I know that my DH would, but I hate to ask. I take a bottle of water to the treadmill and I walk until its gone. Usually that takes about 20-25 minutes. I can't walk very fast yet, but since I have only recently been able to walk at all without a cane, this is great!!!!

I dug out an altogether girtle from years ago and have been wearing it. It does help to support those muscles, and I am beginning to see the start of a waist. It was so surprising I just stopped and stared. People are shyly asking me how much I have lost, like they are afraid I will be upset. Its not like its a secret that I am overweight.

I am going to take measurements this afternoon. I should have done it right after the hospital, but I will do it every month after this. My doctor's office took my neck, waist and hips, but I want to take them all. I am fairly sure I will need the encouragement of inches change once the weight slows down.

I still get tired, and I am learning about vitamins the hard way. I tried a large citracal tablet and thought I was going to die. But I have lemon chews that I am going to try. I am still on the flintstones, I will wait until they run out, and then try the liquid vitamins, I hear they taste terrible, gulp.

I still have to take my blood pressure medicine, but it is definitely lower. I think it would be lower still, but I am a salt freak. I really crave salt some days. When I do, I eat a tomato, with lots of salt. It tastes great, and seems to fix the craving.

I have had a blast cooking. There are so many recipes that I can fix and eat. My surgeon doesn't care about carbs, just sugar and fat, so it gives me a lot of freedom.

I am supposed to be working up to about 850 calories according to the sample menus my doctor's patient rep., but that will take a while. I have been getting in from 400 to 600 calories, and that will have to be enough.

Sept. 17

36.5 lbs, it really slowed down this week. But I also found I had been eating more than an oz. of beef jerky at a time, it makes a great snack, but I understand now about "grazing". It takes so long to chew, that you never get really "full". Still, it makes a great evening snack with my meds, and has more protein, and fewer calories, than the crackers with peanut butter I was having to eat.

Its weird, but I do seem to really crave salt. I am going to have to watch this, as I have high blood pressure still, but nothing works better for the nausea feeling. Still tho, I can work with this.

My RSD in my foot is slowly waking up. I am trying to be happy about the fact that I have had a relatively pain free month from it . . . but I'm not, I thought it might have gone forever. I am worried about how this will affect my walking on the treadmill, which I love doing while I drink my shakes and my water.

I hate the shakes, but I will keep trying different ones. I am considering getting the one you can sprinkle on food, but tbh, I would rather not mess with my solid food. I can do this, they are a necessary part of this process.

I have finally bought adult chewable vitamins. My husband bought the liquid, and argued with me about the taste . . . until he tried it. I noticed the bottle has disappeared . . .

I have tried another modified recipe, and gotten a winner, I love taco soup!!! I will post the recipe once I check it on fitday. WWW.fitday.com rocks, it really helps me keep track of my life, and showed me how beef jerky could do me in with a vengence. What a wake up call! So I measure everything!!!

My husband's eyes are getting a gleam back that I haven't seen in a while, and when my daughter came in this weekend I tried on smaller sizes in my closet . . . and they fit!!!! She pointed out that my pants had reached, if not the falling off stage, close. I got on the net and went to romans.com and ordered 3 more pair in 2x. Then we went shopping for a pair of blue jeans. I have gone from a 32 to a 24!!!!! I still have a long way to go . . . but it is happening!

I still get pretty tired by evening, and I have not been able to make evening church, which I miss. I am going to ask for additional blood work in 2 weeks (I am due for a diebetic check up) to make sure everything is in order.

I was supposed to get blood work when I had my one month meeting with my surgeon, but it was such a hurry up check up because of my back, I think we both forgot. He operates on a kind of laizefaire (sp) approach, (if it an't broke, don't fix it), which I like, as it lets me do my own thing. But it also puts the responsibility of making sure stuff gets done on me. He doesn't have an official NUT, at least not one that I know of, but his patient rep. is very intelligent and knowledgeable, I know I can call her with any questions.

But I want to do it on my own as much as possible. I have gone to so many meetings and counseling in the best, and depended on others. I KNOW what I need to do. Still, I am going to start going to the support groups. I missed the first one because I am simply too tired to drive the 50 miles to the meeting. I am going to ask my husband to drive me to the next one.