Cant Wait Until I Reach Onderlande

Oct 26, 2009

OMG I  can not believe that I have not slept all night.  I have been surfing this blog all damyum night.  I am so excited for my new life. Just thinking that in 2010 when I make my weight loss new years resolution there is a possibility that I will reach it.  As I look back of the last 10 - 15 years of  my life I must say I have been so successful in every endeavor that I set for myself.  Everything except my weight.  My school aspirations, my career, my home, my children, my marriage.  My Marriage.  Well when it was good it was good I was sssoo happy .  Then everything changed and when it was bad it was bad . But when I decided to walk away from that part of my life......when I finally said ENOUGH.....I did what I needed to do (I done dam near lost my mind.  We argue and fight at 6 in the morning.  I look in the mirror and I cant recognize myself.  I been through so much drama I took all I can but you leave me no choice) to close that chapter of my life.  When I finally woke up from what became a nightmare I told him it was time to signed them papers .  This ..... my weight has been my biggest failure.  I dont blame myself for my failed marriage because I was doing what I needed to do the X was the reason for our demize and though it ended I love the strong women that I became as a result of it.  But my weight is the one area of my  life that I have not been successful in.  I mean I have dieted and lost only to gain it back so I don't view that as true success.  I cant wait.  I scheduled all of my appointments on 11/17/09.  Talk about Gods grace.  One of the physicians workers told me that it would be impossible to get all my appointments on the same day.   I decided that rather than schedule them randomly and have to take several days off from work I would knock them all out in one day and save my time for when I am in recovery.  Boy I cant wait to recover from this life long addiction.  I have also decided to start taking Bioton.  My hair is already thin so if I can thicken it up before the WLS if I do have any loss maybe it wont be as bad. 

0 Comments