beckyvee
You will need to read from the bottom up.
September 7, 2004
I'VE LOST 100 POUNDS!
What a fabulous weekend! We went to San Antonio and stayed at the Hyatt Hill Country Resort. It was so much fun. I rode down the lazy river with my family and also got a manicure at the spa. The highlight was riding roller coasters at Six Flags. I can't believe that I can ride a roller coaster now! And I did not whine or complain about the heat or about my feet the whole time. I am so happy, but I just want to have fun all the time. As of this moment, I hate my job and I hate going to school. I just want to party. LOL! Oh well! I guess I'll grow up one of these days.
July 29, 2004
I am doing great! I've lost 96 pounds and I'm 8 months out! I've lost slowly through this entire process and I consider myself an amazing success! My skin looks really great too. This weekend my husband and I are going on a party boat cruise on Lake Travis. I am going to wear a red, white, and blue yacht outfit. Then on Sunday, I meet Vicki and Charlotte for lunch to catch up and talk about our Vegas trip.I've been swimming and going to Curves. The only bad thing in my life right now is that I am working too much and I have a few health problems. I have bursitis in my hips and that seems under control since the doctor gave me a shot, but I also have some nerve damage in my left hand from leaning on the computer table to much. I found out after the surgery that I am a migraine sufferer (and I thought it was sinus allergies before). I order online meds from Mexico.
June 21, 2004
I'm down 86 pounds after nearly 7 months. I am very, very busy with school work, but I am getting in time to exercise. Oscar and I consolidated some of our debts and we are now well on our way out of this hole. WOO HOO!!
May 18, 2004
OMG! I think the trip to Arlington at the first Obesity Help National Convention boosted my weight loss! I'm down another two pounds in just a day! WOOOO HOOOO! I had so much fun! First of all, Charlotte, my partner in crime, is the bomb! We drove down together, roomed together, and shared meals. Then we met renowned bariatric chef and author Susan Maria Leach. What an awesome lady! I just ordered her Margarita and Pina Colada mix online from bariatriceating.com. Susan's got great stuff on that site. Everyone was terrific. All the OH people and speakers were incredible! And of course hooking up with all of them, even the light weights that I've always envied (who I now feel a new kinship with), was just the best experience ever. I wish I didn't still owe on my surgery and that I could go on that OH cruise in Galveston this September. It sounds like so much fun. Nonetheless, I still have that trip to Las Vegas where I will be hanging with Dr. A. and all of his patients in November. Anyway, I had a wonderful time and I look forward to spending more time with my OH buddies in the future.
April 5, 2004
I'm here in Chicago at my doctoral residency and some of the male learners are actually hitting on me. LOL! I eat more calories than the other post ops, probably 1200 a day, but I've lost almost 70 pounds in 4 1/2 months, I'm very strong (great muscle tone), I'm energetic, I'm mentally sound, and I haven't lost any hair. Personally, I think my way is the best, but only time will tell. At this point, I rarely think of myself as being on a diet. I eat what I want in small quantities. I have 5 small meals a day-- avoid caffeine, white flour, sugar, alcohol, and soda-- and I drink lots of water. Exercise is another key to my success--I've joined Curves and I walk and swim in between my 3 weekly workouts.
March 25, 2004
It's been four months and I've now lost 63 pounds. I broke my finger a week ago and that has slowed me down some, but I'm ready to get back on track. I'm losing a lot of inches, nonetheless. I had to buy new jeans and a swimsuit last week. Nothing fits! I feel fantastic! This week I joined Curves with my daughter and we just love it! For 30 minutes, you get a great cardiovascular/toning workout. I also go swimming a couple of times a week and walk when I can. I still eat about 1000 calories a day. I have small meals, usually consisting of protein, vegetables, and fruit. My favorite foods include taco meat and Caesar salad. I am blessed that I have yet to lose a strand of hair. Most weight loss sugary patients begin losing hair in the third month, but I have lost my weight slowly, so perhaps I will be spared. Anyway, this has been a great journey. My only concern is that my energy level has been a little low since I ran out of my B-12 sublingual spray, but I've got that on order.
February 13, 2004
Today I am celebrating 2 1/2 months since I had weight loss surgery. I have now lost a total of 51 pounds! I can't begin to describe the difference this surgery has made in my life. I feel so much better-- my feet are no longer swollen, I have so much more energy, my outlook is more positive--it's like I have a new lease on life!
January 26, 2004
I had the surgery two months ago today and now I am down 43 pounds. I am now no longer super morbidly obese! I am just morbidly obese! Hallelujah! I feel great! I am losing slowly, but that's the way I want it.
January 13, 2004
After seven weeks, I have lost a total of 39 pounds. My energy level is much improved and I am eating much better. I'm still having trouble getting in all of my water, however.
January 6, 2004
I'm down 36 pounds after six weeks. I haven't been eating very well this past week, but I've stepped up the exercise.
December 29, 2003
It's been five weeks since the procedure and I've lost 34 pounds. I feel fantastic! I do not dump. I can eat just about anything that I desire. However, I tend to crave foods that nourish my body. Bread is out of the question, but I don't want it anyway.
December 23, 2003
I'm down a total of 29 pounds after one month! I feel pretty good. I don't enjoy eating or drinking, but I do it anyway to survive. We are headed to visit family tomorrow. I'm anxious to see how they respond to me as a new WLS post op! Today I got my hair highlighted, went to the grocery store, and picked up some resistance bands at Academy (Yes! I am ready to get toned). This is a huge improvement over last week. I still get tired and edgy if I have to stand in one place for any period of time or go more than four hours without eating, but I was like that before the surgery. What do I eat now? This morning I had cheesy grits for breakfast and 2 oz. of chili for lunch. This afternoon, I plan to have a protein shake and for dinner I will have 2 oz. of chicken tortilla soup with avocado slices (minus the tortillas). Vitamins are essential to my well being now. I take three chewable multi vitamins a day, four calcium citrate tablets, B-12 and B-Complex liquid, chewable C, and liquid E. I also drink a lot of water and follow Pouch Rules for Dummies religiously. How are Oscar and Christina holding up? They love it. They eat whatever they want to and there is more of it now. LOL! Actually, Oscar lost five pounds this week too. We are all working hard to become a healthy, happy family.
When will I return to work? Actually, I will start teaching online in January, but I will not return to my advising position until January 20. By all appearances, I should be able to work now, but I'd prefer to return when my energy level is more stable and my incision has completely healed. What's next! Exercise. In the next couple of days, I plan to beef up my exercise plan with light weight lifting and resistance training. By this weekend, I should be able to walk about 3/4 mile daily.
December 14, 2003
I finally told my mom about the surgery and she could not have been more thrilled. If you are tempted to do as I did and not tell your folks about the surgery, think twice. My nerves were frazzled before, during, and after the surgery--I was racked with guilt and worry. It was not worth it! If I could do it all over again, I would have been a "man" and told my mom that I was having the surgery whether she liked it or not! LOL! Thank God they know now and I can continue my journey without having to tell any more lies (however, I still haven't told them that I went to Mexico--I know; I'm a coward! By the way, my husband removed my staples and it was a disaster! Please try not to do this at home unless you know what you are doing. Get a physician or nurse to agree to remove the staples before you leave for Mexico.
December 8-9, 2003
I am 18 pounds down and only 13 days out of surgery. I feel great with the exception of the nerve damage in my right thigh. I wish that would go away. Okay, I am now ready to write about the Ensenada experience.
Part I: Getting There
We took a plane from Austin to San Diego. I just love San Diego! It is so beautiful! We enjoyed a nice Mexican meal in at the Old Town Mexican Cafe. The service was awful, but the atmosphere and food were fabulous. I also recommend using the Holiday Inn on N. Harbor in San Diego. It's close to the airport and affordable. We rented a Hertz car and paid the 20 dollar a day Mexican insurance. I highly recommend that you rent a car if you are staying more than four days in Mexico with another adult driver.
On the morning of November 24, we drove into Mexico. There was absolutely no traffic coming in. The sky was really cloudy and it really made Mexico look like an ugly place. When we came back a week later, we realized that the hazy sky tainted our perception. The Baja coast is very beautiful! We took the toll to Ensenada and had no problems.
As we came into Mexico, we saw the Punta Morro hotel to our right and then the Hotel Coral. Using Dr. A's discount, we got a Junior Suite (97 dollars per night during the off season, higher on the weekends and during peak) and it was very comfortable. My husband and I stayed in the bedroom and my daughter slept on the sleeper sofa. The hotel was beautiful, but I still think the beds were too hard. Apparently, this is an issue all over Ensenada.
Anyway, after checking in, we drove out to La Bufadora. Please don't bother. The drive was tedious and dreary, and since it was the off season, there were very few shops open. The volcano was dead (or dormant). The whole experience was very depressing. I wished I had used my last afternoon before surgery walking on Mateo Blvd. in Ensenada, shopping and enjoying the Ensenada cuisine. Before meeting Dr. Aguirre that evening, I had my last meal at the Coral. I was so nervous that I didn't enjoy it. Anyway, I don't recommend the fish at the Coral; stick to the salad bar, burgers, and sandwiches (of course, this advice only applies to pre-ops and friends and families of Dr. A's patients).
Part II: Meeting Dr. Aguirre
On the night before surgery, we met Dr. Aguirre at 7:30 p.m. at his office. He was late, so we walked down to the hospital to see if there were any patients to visit (there were none) and to do my pre-op testing. My first impression of the hospital was that it was clean and run by a very professional, caring staff. Finally, we met Dr. Aguirre at his office. He was disarmingly handsome and kind. He looks you right in the eye and that bothered me a little, being so nervous. Anyway, we liked him just fine, other than the fact that he was hesitant to help with the paper work (but we solved that problem later). (By the way, if you want an itemized receipt, email me for the form that I created with the help of the hospital and other Dr. Aguirre patients.) Anyway, Dr. Aguirre was very nice. We asked him to recommend restaurants, and he said that there were many fine restaurants. However, that wasn't good enough for my husband (he wanted specifics), and as a result, he and my daughter ate every meal at the Coral, with the exception of one meal at the Punta Morro. So you can imagine how expensive this all was. I still think we (post ops) should compile a list of the restaurants and rate them as a service to other pre-ops.
Part III: The Surgery
We arrived before 7 a.m. and I was taken back immediately for surgery prep. I met Dr. Gomez and liked him instantly. Dora wrapped my legs and I kissed my family and was wheeled into surgery. When I woke up, I remember seeing my husband and daughter, as well as Drs. Aguirre and Estrella. They told me that I did good, but that my liver was enlarged. Anyway, I slept until about 10 p.m. I didn't have much pain and experienced no dry heaves or nausea, but I still felt very weak and out of sorts.
Days 2 and 3
The last two days in the hospital were tedious. I was uncomfortable and in pain, but I was well attended by the doctors and nurses. When I went home (to the hotel) on the third day, I was very unhappy about not being able to drink any water. I had zero energy and was suffering from nerve damage.
Days 4 and 5
I hated my last two days in Ensenada. The smells of smoked fish permeated the air and nauseated me terribly. I dreaded the nasty bile bag and I am still forever grateful that Dr. Estrella agreed to remove it early so that we could head back to the states.
Overall, the food situation in Ensenada was pretty bad. We went to Gigante and were disappointed to find very little that appealed to me. With my energy level as low as it was, I really needed a protein shake, but none were to be found. Therefore, I wound up eating baby food. When we got to San Diego, I was so hungry, that I overate and became quite ill (my first dumping incident).
Even with all the aggravation, I do not regret my decision. I am two weeks out and I am 18 pounds lighter! I can't believe how good I feel already. I do regret that my husband and I were unable to tell my parents before I left for Ensenada. They still do not know about the surgery and I really don't know what to expect when we finally do give them the news.
December 3, 2003
I am down 14 pounds after only eight days after surgery! Whoo! Hoo! I'm still very sore, dizzy, and unable to drive. Otherwise, I feel great. For now, most meals consist of two or three bites of soup or mashed potatoes. Anyway, I am so excited about this opportunity for a healthy, new life.
December 2, 2003
I am home from Ensenada! Dr. Aguirre is a great surgeon. I was well-attended by him, Dr. Estrella, and Dr. Gomez. All of the nurses were wonderful and attentive. Dr. Estrella told me that my liver was nearly twice its normal size and that my old stomach was the size of one of those huge, 3 gallon wine jugs! Yikes! In addition, my pre-op blood work didn't look too good either. Apparently, I was on the verge of becoming a diabetic. Needless to say, I feel that this surgery saved my life! Despite all the good feelings, I was scared shitless throughout the whole process! When my right thigh went numb three days out, I was convinced that I had a blood clot. However, it looks like it was minor nerve damage, something that was bothering me before the surgery. I'm going to have my PCP check this out later this week. Then, I experienced dumping syndrome last night after eating too much soup in San Diego, and I thought I would surely die. And finally, after boarding the plane today, one of the Southwest Airlines employees approached me and asked if I had bought an extra ticket because I was "taking up more than one seat." I told him that we felt it wasn't necessary, since I had undergone surgery six days ago, I needed my family to be with me, and that my husband and daughter (who are small people) didn't mind being a little crowded. Then I told him that I always buy two seats when I travel by myself. Well anyway, he said that I needed to buy another ticket anyway! I was so upset and humiliated! My husband shooed him away, but I was so hurt that I cried during the take off and throughout much of the flight. After we arrived in Austin, we filed a complaint. Anyway, I'm home, I'm alive, and I can already see the benefits of my new tool! I will post more as I continue to recover.
November 21, 2003
I can't believe I'll be in surgery in just four days! This will probably be the last update I make to my profile until after the surgery. I am so excited, a little nervous, but mostly excited! I have so much confidence in Dr. Aguirre, my new WLS surgery friends, and all those who have stood by my side throughout this process. God bless you all. I'll try to post to the board when I get to Mexico.
November 11, 2003
I can't believe my surgery is two weeks away! Just six months ago, I thought this day would never come. I have so much to do before I leave. I am so worried about my students even though I have left them in good hands. This weekend was a painful reminder of just how badly I need this surgery. I was in Houston visiting my folks. On Saturday, my daughter, husband, and I went to the mall. Well, to make a long story short, I couldn't even make it to Dillards. I had to stop at Starbucks and SIT while they had fun spending Christina's birthday money. I was so sad, but we all talked later about the significance of what happened. This weekend, I told my husband that the only regret that I have is that I didn't try hard enough to lose weight when I was younger. Who knows whether or not it would have helped, but at least I wouldn't still wonder. I have definitely noticed a connection between lack of activity and weight gain. Therefore, I'm really not worried about my relationship with food after the surgery, but I am going to have to stay on top of my exercise plan. Anyway, we were going to tell my mom and dad about the surgery this weekend, but my father was forced into early retirement two weeks ago and my mother is recovering from cataract surgery. We decided to "let it be" for now.
November 1, 2003
Okay I've written THE LETTER. I hope that no one outside this board ever has to see it.
To my Friends and Family:
I asked Oscar to send this short note to each of you in the event of my death. I just want you all to know that I had one of the best bariatric surgeons in the world, so if I am no longer with you, it was my time. When I made the decision to have this surgery, I also faced the fact that I would rather die than live the rest of my life morbidly obese and in pain. I realize that these words may not offer you the comfort you seek, but please know that I am now at peace; I am with God and I am no longer suffering. All that I ask is that you give Oscar and Christina your unconditional love, always.
October 26, 2003
Misty Pena is going to be my angel and I will be hers. I am so excited! {Update: Misty was a great angel, but we had communication issues in Mexico. As I've said before, this angel business isn't easy.}I've been doing a little better lately. I've been exercising more (I swam two days last week and got a lot of walking in). JUST 30 DAYS!
October 23, 2003
Still no angel! I guess I will have to forge it alone.I am a little down today. Sometimes I feel that there is a HUGE communication gap between pre-ops and post-ops. I've been waiting for my surgery for two years now and, during my long wait, I've been reading and researching and exercising and dieting and attending support groups and posting and journaling, etc., etc. Occasionally, I come into contact with a post-op who seems to almost resent the fact that I am working so hard to educate myself now-- because "everything will change" after the surgery. I've witnessed post-ops complaining about pre-ops who try to give advice about WLS issues, based on research of course (but how dare we presume!) The worst are the ones who try to scare us with horror stories about the surgery, or dumping, or changed relationships (and there is a difference between sharing and scaring). And finally, there are those post-ops who can't resist the patronizing comments like, "You won't be able to eat THAT after WLS" (as if we didn't know!).
October 19, 2003
Sigh! I guess I do need an angel that could post updates to the listservs, my surgery page, and the Texas, Dr. Aguirre, and Main Obesity Help boards. I promise that I will be low maintenance. You will only have to check your email on November 25 and 26 and then forward Oscar's messages to the appropriate places. (So much for Ms. Independent--I don't need no angel)! By the way, Oscar and I bought a travel guide for Baja Mexico and it is just wonderful! I wish we had more time to do things like visit the Titanic exhibit or go to the bull fights. My daughter's birthday party was yesterday and it was so much fun! I'm exhausted, yet I am happier that "all get out." Life is great when you know that you only have a few more months to spend it as a fat chick!
October 15, 2003
I originally wanted to have an angel, but my husband and daughter will both be with me in Ensenada. Not having an angel might not be a bad idea in my case because I haven't told all of my friends (that have asked to be updated) the truth-- that I am going to Mexico (not San Diego) for the surgery, and I don't want my poor angel to have to deal with all that confusion. So, I am going to give my husband the email addresses of all my friends and family and he will email everyone until I can get to a computer.
40 DAYS AND COUNTING!!
October 7, 2003
The main reasons that I want to have the surgery aren't selfish at all. I want to be a wife to my husband again, I want to travel all over the world with my husband and daughter and not feel unbearable pain in my ankles, knees, and hips, I want to live long enough to enjoy my grandchildren. Without this surgery, I sincerely believe that I will not see my 50th birthday.
October 5, 2003
I am getting more anxious about my impending surgery. I can't believe that I am only FIFTY days away! Today I bought a bunch of supplies over the internet: gauze, tape, alcohol pads, etc. I am so ready! I just hope that I can survive until then. My plate is very full and I am simply exhausted.
September 22, 2003
This angel business is tough. I have had a really hard time getting through to the hospital, Dr. A., husband's cell phone, etc. to find out about Kim H. I thought she was staying at the Coral, but when I called, they said that she wasn't staying there. I feel like I've let my little angelette down. I just got back from a wonderful trip to Chicago. I met some wonderful people at a focus group for online college instructors and I spent two glorious days in the city, eating, shopping, and visiting the Art Institute. On the way home, I sat next to an insensitive woman who seemed irked that I was taking up so much room. I cringed in my seat, holding my elbows together, hiding my face with my book. After the surgery, I will never forget how mean people were to me and I will never make a large person on a plane OR ANYWHERE ELSE feel uncomfortable.
September 16, 2003
I've posted some important contact information and I've updated my lists below my journal entries. I spent the bulk of this day trying to get through to Dr. Aguirre to find out how Kim is doing. I did talk to the nurse and to her husband briefly and they said that she came through surgery with flying colors.
September 13, 2003
I am busy, busy, busy! I'm getting ready to go to Chicago next weekend and San Antonio the weekend after that. I'm finishing up my projects for my doctoral studies and then I will have a SIX MONTH break. I am so excited that the college is giving me the break so that I can recover from the surgery. I was very sad on September 11. It is no coincidence that my decision to have the surgery was finalized shortly after that horrible day--two years ago. Life is too short to spend it miserable, unhealthy, and fat.
September 8, 2003
I talked to Dee today. She is doing great and is down 30 pounds! I am so excited for her. Christina and I are planning a huge Halloween birthday party. That will definitely keep me busy. We just got back from San Antonio where we spent the weekend at the Hyatt Hill Country Resort. What a fabulous place! I spent most of the day floating down the rambling river in an inner tube. I can't wait to go back there thinner.
September 4, 2003
At work, I am in the middle of a huge insurance scandal. A group of part-time instructors were told that they would get insurance. Some even signed up, only to be told a few days later that it was a MISTAKE. Anyway, we are filing a grievance against the college. It's ugly and I just hate this. It appalls me that my employers treat people with so much disdain. [UPDATE: In September 2004, many part-time instructors in community colleges across Texas were allowed to buy into the group plan thanks to a health insurance bill that I supported during the 2003 legislative session.] I had a wonderful dinner last night with Dee and Vicky. Dee looks great and so does Vicky. That girl is getting skinny! She whipped out an itty bitty blue dress that she wants to squeeze into one of these days. LOL! Anyway, Dee and Vicky are all fired up about riding roller coasters and roller blading together soon. I love the way this surgery is enhancing everyone's life--even while you are sitting around waiting for it! It looks like my angellette, Kim, will be having her surgery after all (she was worried about money earlier this month). I will be sending her a little package for when she gets home.I am headed to Chicago in two weeks. I was invited to a BIG conference, all expenses paid! I wish I was going skinny, but at least I will have something to enjoy in the interim.
August 24, 2003
I just got off the phone with Dee, or should I say, we were disconnected (three times altogether). Anyway, she is in Ensenada having a great time! She and her hubby dined at a place where they enjoyed shrimp and rock lobster and Dee said it was yummy. Dee said that they haven't used taxis much; they've walked all over the place. She's really enjoyed swimming, shopping, and seeing the sights. Anyway, the next time I check in with her will be after the surgery. I know that she is going to be just fine!
August 19, 2003
I just sent this letter below to Dr. Aguirre:
Hi Dr. Aguirre:
I have been asked by several of your future patients to send this letter. I am writing you regarding comments made by one of your patients on the discussion board this week. She mentioned several incidents that occurred when she was under your care that did not seem altogether sanitary. As I told you before, when I had my C-section 15 years ago, the hospital gave me a staff infection. Therefore, I am very concerned about that possibility. My friend Dee will be coming next week for surgery, my buddy Kim H. is going to have surgery in September, and my surgery is scheduled November. I want you to assure me that your nurses and staff will practice good hygiene and keep us all safe, healthy, and free of possible infection.
[Dr. Aguirre responded that he would do his best and Dee has told me he is doing just that. It seems that the staff was not 100% earlier this month after Dr. Aguirre had cancer surgery, but all seems to be back to normal now.]
August 18, 2003
I spent the weekend with an old friend who is going through a divorce. She was extremely whiny, depressed, tearful, and
angry-- all at the same time. It was horrible! It is really difficult for me to be around someone like that right now. Everyone on this discussion board talks about how we change after the surgery; well, I am changing now! I'm looking forward to a healthy, happy life. Am I going to abandon some of my old friends?
July 30, 2003
Geeeez! It has been forever since I posted! Anyway, I am getting more and more excited about the surgery. About a week ago, I had Vicky and Dee over for a swim and salad and they met my family. My husband plans to call them up as the surgery nears for the "scoop"! He has even bought a book about Baja Mexico.My weight loss has pretty much stopped. I am still doing Atkins, but my efforts aren't as altruistic as before. On the bright side, I swim nearly every day. Still, I am having problems with my feet; I have been wearing an orthopedic boot to correct my planter’s fasciitis. Next week I will buy some shoes with a wedge in Houston. I am also very busy with teaching and going to school. I want to get my life in order before the surgery! I am not afraid anymore. I know that I am doing the right thing and I know that I will survive this.
July 8, 2003
I've been having after-care anxiety, nightmares, insomnia, etc.! I talked to a very qualified surgeon in Houston this morning and he said he could do a lap RNY for 19K up front (his fee and the hospital fee) and that I could pay the remaining hospital balance ($8-10,000) at my leisure. I really respect Dr. Aguirre, but I am worried about after-care issues, weeks, months, or even years down the road! I posted my concerns to Dr. Aguirre's patient forum and received some sound advice. I just needed to get my fears off my chest. I feel better about Dr. Aguirre than any other doctor I have dealt with regarding WLS. Knowing my concerns about after care, my husband has agreed to stay with me until Dr. Aguirre can remove my drain tube. We are going to talk about the other options tonight one last time, but I think that we are pretty much decided on going with Dr. Aguirre. As soon as the decision is finalized, I am going to book my plane reservations! And I promise that I will stop belly-aching after that.
July 6, 2003
Yesterday, I ate more carbs than I should, and it made me sick to my stomach! I'll be glad when this holiday weekend is over. I need to get into the pool, but the weather has been pretty dreary these past few days.I will not tell my parents that I am having this surgery. They have known for years that this is what I have wanted to do. If there was a way to tell my mom that would guarantee that she would not try to STOP me, I would tell her. I plan to write "good bye" letters and put them in a box next to my nightstand before I go to the hospital. Hopefully, these letters will never be seen, but at least I will have peace of mind.
July 4, 2003
This will be the last Fourth of July that I have to worry about looking like a whale in a bathing suit, falling through a plastic chair, or dreading the festivities because my feet usually give out.
July 3, 2003
Today I had an appointment with my PCP (Dr. Smith) for some blood work. I told him that I was having my surgery in Mexico. I lied a little bit and told him that my husband has family there and that they are very familiar with Dr. Aguirre's work. LOL! Anyway, he seemed receptive. I didn't have the nerve to ask him to remove my drain tube and staples, but I plan to do so the next time I meet with him. I now weigh 349 pounds. Yippee! I was weighing close to 360 pounds before I started the Atkins diet.
June 26, 2003
I don't know why I mentioned that I would consider canceling surgery. That really isn't an option for me. It has been such a long time since I lost any weight and I have really enjoyed feeling that sense of accomplishment. But deep down inside, I know that the end result will be the same as it has always been. I should celebrate the fact that I am showing some discipline. Just two months ago, my doctor (with Scott and White when I was still insured for the surgery) threatened to call it off because he was so concerned that I would not be able to limit my food intake afterwards. I know now that that I can limit my food intake (which is essential after WLS), but at the same time I realize that I must have the surgery in order to achieve permanent weight loss. Yesterday's meeting at Central Market went very well. Vicky, Dee, and I all have worked for the state and we are three gorgeous fat chicks excited about our new lives, all thanks to WLS! Vicky answered so many questions for us about her experience in Mexico. I can't wait. We talked about putting together some kind of website with recipes and pre and post op tips. I have long wanted to put something together for my online students regarding fitness and health. I will probably get started on this soon and add a WLS section. We also talked about hooking up with the Pflugerville support group (http://www.pfamos.org). We are all a little nervous because we aren't sure how they will all react to Mexico! We plan to check them out in the next couple of weeks, so I guess we will find out then. (Update: The Pfamos group rocks!)
June 25, 2003
Guess what? I am now having doubts about having surgery. I just started Atkins three weeks ago and I am losing weight and feeling so good about myself; my control is amazing. The problem is this-- I am 41 years old and I weigh 360 lbs. I have never taken weight off and kept it off, but now I'm beginning to think that I might be able to, but then again, what if I cancel the surgery and this sense of euphoria leaves me and I end up weighing 400 lbs. or more by the time I am 50? Don't worry; I fully intend to have the surgery because I know that I cannot achieve PERMANENT weight loss without it. I am so grateful for the support that I have received on this site.
June 23, 2003
I've been getting some great responses from the Q&A forum regarding family members with food control issues. We should not have to defend our right to have this surgery! In the future, I will tell my mother that I will not discuss my weight with her anymore or I will leave, ask her to leave, or hang up if we are communicating by phone. This is why I can't tell her about the surgery. First of all, she will insist on accompanying me. Secondly, if she finds out I am going to Mexico, she will run major interference and I just don't need that right now.
June 22, 2003
I just got back from a celebrity golf tournament and we had to leave early because of the heat and because I could not get around very well. My feet were killing me the whole time. Whenever I could find a seat, I had problems getting comfortable. On a bright note, my daughter did take a picture with Dennis Quaid and the actor who plays Lizzie McGuire’s little brother on TV, but it would have been nice if I could have held up long enough to meet Bill Murray, Kevin Costner, Billy Bob Thornton, and others. More than ever, my daughter and husband are seeing why I must have this surgery. I am telling my closest friends that I am going to Mexico; most don't expect some sort of explanation, thank God. I tell my coworkers and people with whom I am not as close that I am going to California to have the surgery. I give them the correct name of the surgeon, but not any other details. I just explain that Dr. Aguirre is brilliant, very accommodating when it comes to uninsured patients, and that he even offers a substantial discount, something that other surgeons don't. When I come back, I will be honest about where I had the surgery, with the exception of my mother and most of my extended family. They will never understand and every time something goes wrong, it will be blamed on the fact that I went to Mexico! And honestly, I can't blame them. If I didn't know any better, I probably wouldn't want my baby to go to Mexico for surgery either.
June 21, 2003
I am going to be Kim H.'s angel! She is such a bright, sunny person. I think that we have a lot in common (besides being two gorgeous blondes!). And I would really love to visit her in Maryland and swim in that pool of hers when we are both strutting in bikinis a couple of years from now. LOL! By the way, I will tell my parents about the surgery when I get home from Mexico. Fortunately, they will be on vacation during the surgery and we usually don't communicate when we are traveling in opposite directions. Nonetheless, if my mom asks me point blank if I intend to have the surgery, I will not hesitate to tell her.
Let me explain how I got to this point. Two months ago, I found out that Scott and White was not going to insure my surgery. Prior to that time, my mom knew that I was going to have the surgery and she was not too thrilled. When I called in tears to tell her about the denial, she told me that she was very relieved, and then went on to tell me how horrible she thought Al Roker looked. I kept trying to interrupt to tell her that I still planned to forge ahead, but she would not let me get in a word in edgewise. After I hung up the phone, I made the decision not to tell her about going ahead with the surgery in the event that I could convince S&W to overturn their policy or if I decided to self pay.
June 20, 2003
I am really concerned about how this surgery is going to affect my relationship with my parents. I am visiting with them right now and my mother and I literally went to WAR yesterday over my right to eat a few blueberries. I am on Atkins and she thinks she is some kind of Atkins expert. Anyway, she is probably right, but I don't like it when she interferes with my diet. This got me to wondering about how she will react after the surgery (which she will not know about until afterwards). This whole thing is really causing me a lot of anxiety. I love my mom and dad, but I'm not willing to remain obese just because they think I can lose weight the old fashioned way. Anyway, I am concerned that I am going to have to limit my time with them until after the surgery. And it hurts because I do love them.
June 14, 2003
I'm working hard to save money for the surgery. Last week I got one of those checks from my Visa card offering a 5.9% fixed loan. Well, I promptly wrote myself a check for $11,000 and put it in my savings account! For the next five months, I am going to try to pay it back. How am I going to do that? Well, I've put a lot of things on EBay and Half.com. I also teach for University of Phoenix and I am doubling up on my regular teaching load until I have the surgery. I'm also thinking about having a garage sale. And then of course, there are the sacrifices-- no new clothes, furniture, Bath and Body products, fancy dinners, etc. until I've repaid this debt.
Let me tell you all a little about my career. I have a master's degree in English and I am a part-time instructor and academic advisor at Austin Community College. I also teach an occasional class for the University of Phoenix [UPDATE: Now, I also teach for Kaplan University]. Right now I am working on my doctorate at Capella University (online) and I'm having a hard time concentrating on the readings and the projects due. I am taking a leave of absence two months before the surgery and until the end of the year (my surgery is November 25). Hopefully, after the break, I will get back on track! Ironically, I decided to pursue my doctorate as a result of making the decision to have the surgery, so it is important that I not let that dream fade. I'm ready for a brand new life! After finishing school, I am hoping to get a full-time teaching position at the community college or I will be looking elsewhere in the Austin area. Before making the decision to have the surgery, I did not have the confidence to go after my dreams. I now also know that I will be living much longer (before the surgery, I knew that living beyond 60 would be a miracle), so my career is very important. I actually need to build a retirement nest egg now!
June 12, 2003
I had a wonderful afternoon meeting Vicky and Dee. Vicky is post op (two weeks) and Dee is scheduled in August. Vicky answered a lot of my questions. She said that Dr. Aguirre is the best and does fabulous work! He uses an epidural and thus doesn't have to put patients into a deep slumber (however, he has other methods if epidurals do not appeal to you). Vicky has talked to some girls who have observed his surgery firsthand and reported that his work was nearly flawless. My 13-year-old tagged along too, and now she feels better about the surgery after seeing someone who had it TWO WEEKS AGO and looks and feels so good.
June 10, 2003
Yesterday, my whole family and I went on the Atkins diet (modified version). I am trying to lose some weight before the surgery. I am also looking into some breathing exercises to strengthen my lungs. Dee, Vicky, and I are meeting this Thursday for our first support group meeting. Dee will have the surgery later this summer and Vicky is post-op. Dee and I are very curious about after-care and are anxious to find out which physicians in the Austin area are willing to help us out.
June 3, 2003
I am scheduled with Dr. Aguirre in Mexico for November 25th. I am so excited! I've heard so many good things about this doctor and my family is very excited too. Six months seems like an eternity, but I am determined to take care of myself until then. I am on the Atkins diet and I am swimming or walking every day. I'm also trying to straighten out my finances and my personal life. I have dropped out of several committees and other obligations (I am a college professor and advisor). I need to take care of me!
I think my problems with weight began when my grandmother passed away in 1968. I was only six years old. My grandmother was obese and diabetic, but she had a tremendous heart. She was a wonderful woman and we were very close. To this day, I remind everyone of her. So my mother started focusing on my weight at a very early age because she didn't want to lose me like she lost her own mother. She meant well, but she did a lot of damage to my self esteem and body image. When I first started gaining weight, my mom always had me on some sort of crash diet. The sad thing is that I never developed a weight problem until I was in high school, but I always thought that I was fat. Therefore, I developed eating disorders early on: compulsive overeating, bulimia, etc.
I've done Weight Watchers, TOPS, Weigh Down, Overeaters Anonymous, Schick, low fat, no fat, Atkins, the Zone, the Banana diet, the Grapefruit Diet, the Bran Diet, the Scarsdale diet--you name it. I think dieting is why I am so heavy now! I was very active until about seven years ago. I played tennis in high school and college. I even ran cross country. When I was in my twenties, belonged to gyms and worked out every day. Now, I can barely get around. I swim mostly because it in non-impact. Sometimes I walk a short distance and sometimes I ride my stationary bike. I am in constant pain. Today I weigh 349 pounds.
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
