biimbii

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1000 cals
30-40g fat
20 or less carbs
70-80g protein
100-150 oz water

 1/28
 Well, maybe the 6 days of cardio and 3 days of weights are making a difference.  I weighed in at 249.8 today, broke the 250's barrier :)

1/20
    Helen (my RNY sister) forced me to go to the gym today :) I was really tired because we went out bowling last night. I ate a lot yesterday, so I'm really focused on getting in my water and protein today.
    We did upper body weights yesterday, then 30min of cardio. Today, we did 45min of cardio.

1/16
    I've belonged to a ton of gyms, had tapes at home, even had an XBox dance game to keep me motivated. The problem is motivation. I managed to go to the gym yesterday for the first time in over a year? (Been paying the whole time). What was the straw that broke the camel's back? I promised myself that if I go, I would NOT overdo it, I'd take it nice and slow and maaaybe break a sweat if I feel like it. So I went, I got on a stationary bike for 20 minutes, did a nice workout, not intense at all. Then I got on the elliptical (my fav machine) and did another 20 minutes. I did enough to bring my heartrate over 145, but that's it.
    I guess I've been avoiding the gym because every time I go, I exercise to the point of exhaustion, and I hate feeling so tired, and sweaty.Oh, and I'm sure it was water loss, but I weighed 2 pounds less this morning!!! :)

01/02
    Gosh, I haven't written for a while! I've been pretty much been able to eat 2/3 plate of food. I've snacked a LOT during the holiday and was pleasantly surprised to weigh in at 251.4 at the doc's office today.
    MY FIRST FILL was today!!! I was so happy to see that I'd weighed in at my all time low of 251! The Novocaine? shot hurt pretty bad I think, but then the fill didn't hurt at all. The doc tried to give me 4cc's but it didn't work, my water came back up. He then went down to 3cc's. Oh well... He again didn't talk much. Told me my fishing wires would disappear in 3 months. I'll clip them before then, they drive me nuts! They didn't care too much that I wrote down I've been eating 5oz portions, just that I was hungry. They asked twice if I'd ever thrown up PB'd, when I said no, then I get the feeling that's why he wanted to do 4cc's. We'll see what happens from here!

We went to Outback Steakhouse last night.  I dressed up even tho I know most people don't dress up to go there.  I looked hot :P  My hubby said so :)  I can't imagine how happy he'd be when I get to goal weight.  I know I'll be ecstatic!  I ordered tilapia and fresh veggies.  I ate about 1/4 of a bloomin' onion (just onion), half my tilapia, and a couple bites of veggies.  With that kind of meal before, I would have been hungry after all of it!  Then we ordered ice cream dessert, and guess what? I had to leave over 3/4 of it right there!!! I couldn't eat it for the life of me! Oh well!  Thank god for the surgery!!!!

This is my third attempt in the last couple weeks to update. I'm doing awesome and feel great. I get full on very little food, am trying to get in my protein daily. I'm on solids now and all I can say is WOOOHOOOO!!! DH keeps telling me that I look like I've lost weight and that it looks really good. He's been really supportive and loving. I eat more than the 3floz portions sometimes, but 85% of the time I'm on plan. I've learned that I have to recommit to being on band rules every day.  I rescheduled my fill from 12/17 to 1/2. I don't want to have any issues over the holidays and not have access to the doc. OR I want to be able to eat ok through the holidays?? I dunno... So far I've lost about 20 pounds since I decided to have this surgery and I can't be happier with it. My clothes don't fit any different I don't think, but I can see some improvements in my body. They're minimal, but they're there. The extended family that know have been really awesome, mostly asking if I'm feeling all right :)

Well Thanksgiving sucked for me :(  I wasn't prepared, so I ended up trying the mashed potatoes, the other sweet potato thing, pumpkin pie, and I don't remember what else.  I tasted them, maybe 4 bites of each.  I wasn't hungry afterwards, but I didn't have a stuffed full feeling either.  I pray I didn't do any lasting damage to the band :(  I can't understand how dumb I'm being about all this.  I mean I didn't think food was THAT important to me! What's going on?? Time for some self-analysis and a plan.

I guess I need to change something about my attitude because I'm not following my surgeons directions to the letter.  I've let soft foods creep into my diet a bite at a time.  I'm so sick of liquids.  I'll start making jello and buying popsicles, maybe there really is a reason for them in this diet.  I'm only down 8 pounds since surgery, and I wonder if it's because I'm not sticking to the diet 100%.  I'll start doing that starting today, and see what happens. I'm very disappointed in myself, but I have to pick up and stick to the diet 100%.

11/17 I'm feeling even better now. I'm doing stuff around the house like normal. The chest pain is GONE!!!!!! Even with water!!! I had actual burps come up today for the first time. So I think that feeling was air getting stuck in there trying to come up. I'm eating a bit more than the required 3oz, and grazing on sauces and stuff when I cook for everyone else, so I have to start logging my intake from now on.

A weird thing happened yesterday. I baked rolls for the ladies and I literally could NOT stop myself from chewing one up and spitting it back out. WTH? What is that all about? I think I was pretty hungry or something, I dunno :( If that happens again, I'll post about it on the forum and see what people think. My first reaction was to STUFF it in my face, and I NEVER do that!! So I savored every bite, but still, it was pretty SCARY!

 

I'm feeling better now. Not taking any pain meds, this morning when I woke up nothing hurt, then after about 1 hour the incisions started aching. I think the Reglan the doc prescribed got my stomach/gas stuff cleared up. I still get the burn/golfball thing in the chest when I stand up and walk?? no idea why, it kinda feels like reflux to the band, then back down it goes seconds later. It doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable. It happens after I drink clear liquids. If I have something like pureed lentil soup my stomach feels so calm and non of that reflux stuff happens... weird, huh?  {edited: I think that was trapped gas}}

I woke up again, this time at 630am, with nausea and sliming. I ended up retching about six times.  In the end all that came up were two bubbles of air.  It hurt!! I called Robin, she said to stay with warm liquids and that she'd talk to the doc.  A nurse called back and said they'd order some Reglan for me for a few days to calm the stomach juices down.  If I do still end up throwing up again, then they need to see me.  

I figured out that when I'm upset, at least right now, the band gets so freakin' tight I feel like I can't breath from pain.  I wonder if that will remain with me.  I feel pretty tired and dehydrated, I was able to keep down half a bullet w/ some ice, so I will try to drink the rest w/ some Reglan.  I also need to drink some Propel water to keep my electrolytes up.  Truth is right after I had the protein, even though that golfball/refluxing thing kept coming up, I instantly felt better mind-wise.  I was able to think better.  More to follow as the saga continues...

Well the ibuprofen must be working a bit.  I can keep hot tea and hot broth down. I tried some hot chocolate protien mix from the doc, and it's also staying down. The golf ball in the middle of my chest is only uncomfortable now, not painful.  I haven't slimed or wretched since.  I think this will be the plan for tomorrow also... baby steps... baby steps... I guess I was unrealistic in my expectations that if I woke up from surgery, it would be smooth sailing from there.

Well, the day I got out of surgery I only had ice chips... ok... then the next day, I had 4 packets of liquids (soups, hot choc, etc) at the doc's office, and a protein bullet.  Before bed I had a few sips of OJ and a can of V8.  And the saga begins... all night I was up with this tight/burn/hurting feeling at the bottom of my breastbone.  Well then it was time to leave back for Portland, so I took some Isopure and water for the road.  I was feeling sooo miserable.  I ended up wretching a couple times and spitting into a cup. Managed to drink a fourth of the Isopure bottle and less than a cup of water.  After we got home, I sipped on a fourth of a cup of broth.  That's it.  Then had the same issues, even though I was sleeping sitting up.  I woke up at 4am this morning actively sliming.  It went on for a couple minutes, but nothing came up except saliva.  I didn't know what to do, I mean how can you slime on saliva? Hours and Hours after only broth.  I was thinking all sorts of wild things which some godsends of OH people helped calm me down.  The nutritionist, Robin, called back about half hour ago.  She said it sounded like my band was tight, and I was pretty swollen.  She said to crush some Ibuprofen up and drink only hot tea and broth until she calls me back in the afternoon.

How could I have done this to myself? I mean was I really that desperate? Yes, nothing else has worked.  For the sake of my future children and my health I'm going through this, and getting through it!  But I still feel just like crying :(