browngathers
I have had a weight problem for as long as I can remember. People just don't get it. Obesity is an ism...it's a disease. Those who suffer from it know, but we're like some secret sorority or fraternity. People outside look at us like, "Aw. She just eats to much"....or "She's just lazy and won't excercise", or "She's just careless about her appearance." No! I don't eat allot (whatever that is), and I am a hard worker (so I am not lazy)...I like to walk and dance and even go to the gym, but my energy is low due to carrying around all of these pounds. And I care very much about my appearance. In fact I often have my clothes tailor made so that I can have fashionable looking clothes that are not matronly. SO all of those comments that folks make, are based upon air! They are just not sensitized to the reality of being overweight. My earliest memory of an attempt at weight control was when I was 13 and my mom took me to the doctor to get a diet and pills. I remember losing weight and getting into a pair of size 16 jeans, light blue. I don't recall how long it was before the weight came back, but I know I never bought another pair of jeans, from that day to this. I was on Phen Fen back in the 90s. Lost weight, but ended up with elevated blood pressure levels....and of course eventually regained the weight. Then I have done juice fasts numerous times....for as long as 40 days. Felt great, lost weight, but never lost a substantial amount of pounds. More recently, like 2005 I put myself on a regimen, eating more healthy, walking everyday, lost about 25 pounds, and have since regained it. In 2005, I told myself I am going to give this one last big try. If I am not successful this time, I am going to have WLS. So here I am. I am committing myself to see a therapist as I go through this process. I realize the need for my mind and heart to lose weight as my body does. If I don't make sure that I have that balance, then I will gain again. There is some reason why I have continuously put the weight back on my body. What am I hiding from? I am gonna find out, and put it to rest, finally, so I can get slim and feel comfortable and worthy of staying slim. So glad that I have found this site to guide me and inspire me through the process.
