brynn3

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It's Saturday morning and I'm 4 weeks out and finally have a day off after 9 days in a row of working.  I woke up with the worst headache ever, but I am still so happy this morning.  I am so thankful for this surgery.  Still on liquids and I'm fine with that, only recently okay with it.  My ticker says I have 72.2 pounds to go until I reach goal, and for the first time in my life I am okay with this.  It doesn't  feel overwhelming to me like it has all of my life.  I feel like I finally have a fighting chance to do this.  I think that's what is so amazing about this surgery.  It helps to get your head in the game.  Whenever I dieted before I would feel like it was pointless, I am fat and always will be.  The only negative thing, which I've chosen to ignore, is eating around people now.  I feel like everyone is watching what I'm eating and how much I'm eating.  I can eat a half of a yogurt and I think they expect me to take 2 bites and be like I'm full I can't eat anymore.  I can eat a sf jello pudding, the whole thing, and be full.  Not sure what the difference is.  It's weird though because sometimes I can only eat half and other times more.  I'm trying to slow down and listen to my stomach more so I don't overeat my sleeve.  That's hard to change because that's a life long habit.  

Chocolate doesn't tempt me anymore, I know I'm still early in this game, but it's a nice relief.   Before I started the weight loss preop phase I would buy a bag of reese peanut butter cups and hershey bars, and would just sit down and chow on them like there was no tomorrow.  I do want meat, chicken, roast, all of it, but as I eat my oatmeal or yogurt I am comfortable and content with what I have.  It does get boring though. lol  I do want to find a therapist at some point to help with my food issues.  If I didn't have the candy before I felt, I don't know, overwhelmed, like I needed it to get through the evening.  Who the hell needs candy like that.  Obviously some issues there!  

I'm 3 1/2 weeks post op, and much happier now than I was 3 weeks ago.  I was nervous, excited and unsure about whether to go through with this surgery or not.  When I received my first denial I was devastated and more determined than ever to have the sleeve done.  About 2 weeks later I received approval, and was sleeved on October 16th, 2013.  

I went into the surgery not realizing how difficult it was going to be.  The first 2 nights I was very hot and nauseous, I think from the pain meds.  I don't do well with any of them, and didn't use it too much in the hospital.  Plus I slept more than anything that first day and a half.   Now I'm down 14.2 lbs. and feeling happy with my progress.  I lost 11 pounds in the first 11 days, but the last 2 weeks I've only lost 3 pounds. 

I was able to take 3 weeks off of work, which was such a gift to me and my kids.  It was so nice to be home with my 3 kiddos and spend time with them.  Hoping in the next month to be down more weight, and sounds bad, but I'm looking forward to real food again.  Although the last couple of days it doesn't seem as hard to drink only liquids and smell everyone else's food around me. :)