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I'm at Vanderbilt today (on my laptop w/ air card) for another follow-up visit.  Good news - I'm down another 30 lbs, for a total of 109 lbs.  I feel better, and it's a lot easier walking all over this darned place than it hasbeen in the past. 

I've been struggling with some junk food lately.  While I've been able to leave a lot of the old habits behind (booze, ice cream), some of the other items are sneaking back into my life (chips, fast food), and I'm having to completely abolish them.  I remember a West Wing episode where John Spencer's character Leo McGarry describes his struggle with alcohol, "It's not that I don't want another drink - it's that I want ten drinks."  This is probably the best analogy I can think of for my desire for junk food.  While it's not natural, logical, or anything else, it is what it is, and there are just some foods that can't be at my house - now or any other time. 

The other issue I'm having is not going to the grocery enough so that I have the "right" stuff around.  When I don't have the "right" stuff, I end up eating the "wrong" stuff. 

I'm actually waiting for an appointment with my new nutritionist.  Time to get ready to confess my Frito binge and move on.

So I'm getting my 4 year old son bathed this morning (we share a shower), and he says, "Daddy, why are you shrinking??", to which my response was, "So I can chase you around the back yard."  It's nice when the people around you notice and you know they aren't just saying something to be nice.

I'm down 79 lbs total, and 54 since surgery (to 361) - and feeling great !  Went to Seattle this week, and ate at two of my favorite big beef restaurants without incident (the Metropolitan Grill and Ruth's).  At both places, I ordered fish, and enjoyed my dinner.  I didn't realize what a toll the extra weight was taking on me - I took stairs with luggage this week, and it wasn't a big deal.

On the negative side, I had a tough trip out to Seattle.  I was on a flight standby, and got upgraded to first class out of Cincinnati at the last second.  They brought out the breakfast, and I had about three bites of the greasy polish sausage, about five of the egg-flavored product, and about four bites of the potatoes.  Some of it got stuck in my stoma, and I spent the next four hours making trips to the potty to use air sickness bags (used three).  I also filled up two 8 oz water bottles with spit from the foamies.  Once I got on the ground, I went to the mens room and hurled one more time.  I guess the walking and the rest of the motion dislodged the food, and I finally stopped hurling.  I went to get the rental car, and started feeling light headed.  Went to the pharmacy to get some stuff I could eat, and drank a quart of h2o in the parking lot - instantly felt better. 

My advice:  If it's not a known-safe food, skip it.  I'm packing protein bars for airplanes from now on.

So I hit a plateau for a couple of weeks - interesting psychology happens when you EXPECT to lose a few lbs - but that's a different story.  What is important is that I'm now down 67 lbs, which makes me merely Morbidly Obese, instead of Super Morbidly Obese.  I'll leave the cape out in front of Ryan's or Golden Corral - I'm sure someone will need it.  It's just good to not be super anymore.

My pants are getting way too big, and it's time to head to the big & tall store for some more.  I'm spewing less than I had been (was 3x/week), and am getting used to what I need to eat to be successful.  I had a nutrition follow up Wednesday, and things went pretty well.  I think my nutritionist hates me - but that's OK.  She's a nice enough gal - I think she's just not used to someone speaking as frankly as I do during appointments - sometimes it's the ones who tell you exactly what they think that make your life hard.

Travel has gone reasonably well - I've been working hard to keep things down, eat the right foods, and otherwise find alternatives that don't put me into dumpingland.  Airport food is a challenge, but it always will be.  I'm now carrying Atkins bars in my laptop bag so I can have something to eat if all you can get in the airport is trash.

I came close to being able to buckle the airplane seat last week without the extension - I still missed by 3-4 inches, but it's a LOT closer than it has been in a long time.

I'm still trying to figure out hotel food - I have lost it after three breakfast buffets, and can't seem to eat eggs for some reason - one of the "easy" foods. 

So I haven’t posted for a few days – I have been on the road some this week, and have been living in interesting times.  I had to go to Louisiana for some meetings last week, and had quite a time finding adequate food.  The penultimate moment was after I ate some breakfast (eggs/sausage) off of the breakfast bar at the Homewood Suites.  I was talking to a colleague during breakfast, and suddenly, I realized that I had blown it.  I had swallowed some very large chunks, and they weren’t getting through my stoma.  I started getting the stomach pain that tells me that barfing is on the way, and walked out to the rental car to head to the office.  I sat down in the car, and suddenly had to stand.  Went over to the curb, and spewed.  I then got in the car, drove another ten miles, and spewed on the side of I-12.  I spoke to the other members of my teaching team, and got back in the car for the New Orleans airport.  I got the cold sweats, and tried to hold things down.  I refilled the car with gas in Kenner, and then got a pint of milk to make some low-carb Carnation Instant Breakfast in a failed attempt to calm my stomach.  I promptly spent the next half-hour (which I really needed to get to the airport) spewing up everything else left inside.  At one point, I thought my appendix had prolapsed and popped out of my mouth (just kidding – I thought I had thrown everything up 4-5 times, and more kept coming up).  Yuck.

 

I’ve also had some issues since getting home.  My brother is in the process of moving to Seattle from Knoxville, and we had a going away party for him at a trendy, young restaurant on a busy Saturday night.  I looked at the menu, and knew I was screwed, but tried to pick out some dinner (a chicken burrito) that would work.  I anxiously awaited my dinner, and tried to enjoy the experience.  After waiting 30 minutes for dinner, I had four blue-corn tortilla chips.  Well, I thought I chewed them well, but about five minutes later, I was in the bathroom, making a donation at the altar of the porcelain God.  I drank a little water, tried to get things calmed down, and waited for dinner.  I think the chicken burrito was made with chicken jerky – really dry, and I couldn’t chew it enough.  Finally, after about three bites, I just left it alone, and went back to drive the white bus through Toilet Town, and three bites plus foamies came back (with interest).

 

As if that wasn’t enough spewing, my family got the stomach flu.  You guessed it – I spent much of the day on the couch in pain.  Last night, I told my wife that I was an involuntary bulimic (joke only), because I seemed to be upchucking every other day.  My wife told me that she loved her Hurl-O-Matic Hubby.  I told her that I’m headed for the fashion pages – lifestyles of the soon to be formerly obese and early-middle-aged.

 

On the good news side, my weight is down 25 lbs from surgery, and a total of 50 from last year.  I’ve had to get rid of some belts, and while the shirts still fit, I can tell that they’re not too long for this world.  I’ve got a local guy that’s going to get most of them, but I may end up selling or giving away some for a good home.  They are 5X tall and 60-64 waist clothing, and it’s all pretty new and pretty good stuff.  PM me if you need some duds this size- may have a few things, but I’m committed to give most to my friend Ron.

I got my scales today.  I didn't like what they said to me.  According to them (admittedly different scales than the ones from my Dr's office), I'm UP 2.5 lbs from my clinic visit with my surgeon a week ago.  For those looking for heavy scales, I bought a set of Tanita HD351 scales (440 lb capacity) online.  I like them, but I wish they told me what I wanted to hear.

I've also been working on my transition to real food.  I had some scrambled eggs the last couple of days, and they seem to like to stop up my stoma.  Fairly unpleasant experience - I get sharp pain from my stomach, start sweating, and salivate uncontrollably (with nausea, of course).  The whole experience seems to reinforce the food plans from my doc.  I am consistently amazed at how little food fits in my pouch - I had one scrambled egg, and was absolutely stuffed.  I found that standing up and sitting down repeatedly seemed to help things work their way through the stoma.  It's pretty cool - was worried about things, but I guess they're right on track.

The real test is going to be next week - I have to go on a business trip out of state (by air).  While I'll still be using my seat belt extender, I'm hoping I'll need it less than last time.

OK.  Thursday was not one of my best days.  I returned home on Wednesday afternoon from Nashville, and let myself get better from the travel most of Wednesday.  In my desire to be more productive, I started using some of the old eating habits - gulping water, eating quickly.  At the same time, my sweetie, my bride of 13 years, my love, brought me some killer new chow, including this Special K Protein Water.  Little did I know that it would be one of the more difficult days yet.  Here's the story on what happened.

The water is good.  Really, really good (I love the Strawberry Kiwi flavor, but the Lemon Mist is not too bad either).  Good enough that you'll forget that you're a bariatric surgery patient, and drink it just because it tastes good, which I did.  About two minutes after drinking a pint of liquid (it was the AM, so it did have somewhere to go, I got the hiccups.  Normally, hiccups are a part of life, and I had been used to getting them from time to time.  As they said in Monty Python's "The Holy Grail", "That's no ordinary rabbit!", and the same could have been said about these hiccups, which I have (lovingly) dubbed:

       The HICCUPS from HELL (insert Sam Kinison scream from http://resources.bravenet.com/audio_clips/comedy_clips/sam_kinison_-_his_famous_scream_-_ahh_-_ahhhhhh/listen/ here).

I got some "feedback" from my body that I had put too much in there, and I was now going to pay the price.  These were truly tHfH, and started after a sudden feeling of fullness, followed by these hiccups that literally took my breath away for 20 minutes.  The hiccups themselves weren't too bad, but the pain from them was excruciating, especially in the shoulders.  For this reason, I got in the shower and ran hot water all over my shoulders to get them to hurt less.  Mission accomplished - but they still hurt like hell this morning.

Listen to your body - it knows what it's talking about.

BFT

Well, I had my lap rny on Monday, and seem to be settling into a routine OK.  The hospital doesn't have Wi-Fi (!), but I've brought my router and EVDO card, so I've been able to catch up on some stuff since checking in.  

Dr. Richards was wonderful, and I'm happy with how everything has gone.  Considering what all has been done to my intestines and stomach in the last 48 hours, I'm actually doing pretty good.  My shoulders have been hurting, and I'm really looking forward to going to the hotel tomorrow (the vinyl on the bed has been nasty).

I got rid of the oxygen and the catheter earlier today, and have switched to liquid pain meds from IV.  The IV is still in, but they've cut it way back, and I'm looking forward to getting rid of it tomorrow.

I came into the hospital at 415, which is down 25 from my all time high of 440, and down 18 from my clinic appointment on 12/20/06.  I pretty much existed on Carnation Instant Breakfast and Wendy's Chili for the first two weeks of 2007.  

Doc said that he had to spend about an hour extra fixing a hiatal hernia which had previously been diagnosed.  He didn't have to do that, but I'm impressed that he took the extra time to clean up the mess that was there so I could have the best chance of success.  

Scales are ordered, and I'm looking forward to making that one way trip back from super-morbid obesity.

BRian

T minus twelve hours at this point... I'm hanging out at the hotel while my wife has gone to smoke and eat dinner.  We're checked into the hotel near the Nashville airport, and we've got to be over at Vanderbilt in the morning at 6AM.  My folks came by and picked up my son earlier, and we had a good visit.  Mom gave me a quilt that she made for my grandfather about five years before he died - a real sentimental piece, as he and I were pretty close.

I had my dinner of delicious Carnation Instant Breakfast about a half hour ago.  It's hard to believe that I've been eating about 1,000 calories a day for the last couple of weeks... OK, I've fallen off the wagon some, but not too badly.  The clothes I'm wearing had been too tight, and they're pretty comfortable now - and they're some of the smaller stuff in my closet.  After the swelling goes down, I think David at Men of Measure (www.menof.com) is going to get some of my dough.

I'm a little anxious, but I'm also ready to get on with things.  My wonderful bride is pretty on edge, so I want to go ahead and get going - for both of our sake.  I love her, but this kind of stuff stresses her way too much.

Will post again as soon as I emerge from the morphine haze on the other side.... Seems like Samuel Taylor Coleridge was addicted to opiates, and he wrote some killer stuff while on it... It can't be that bad, can it? ("In Xanadu a pleasure dome did Kubla Khan decree")

Either way, I'm looking forward to my new life.  I just hope I don't end up being Bob the Tomato.

Well, I've been very busy since my post last month.  I've lost about 10 pounds from my all time high of 440.  I've been on a liquid diet for the last week or so, and am looking forward to seeing what I weigh on Monday when I check in for surgery.

I've been using some of the Bariatric Advantage products, and have enjoyed them, especially the cinnamon Calcium supplement.

The Carnation Instant Breakfast seems to be pretty good - especially the pre-mixed stuff.  I've been pretty much eating just that for about a week, and am getting excited about losing some tonnage.  I tried the Atkins pre-mixed stuff, and it seems to have a soy flavor, and caused some.... uh.... unpleasantness, so I'm not going to be using it anytime soon.

The hardest time for me seems to be the evening - and I've been having a sugar free popsicle to help me avoid after-dinner munching.

My friends and associates have been great - I'm excited about getting back to running again.  I'm going to run the 2008 NYC Marathon (11/2/08).  This will be 21 months post-op, and I'm looking forward to seeing the city without huffing and puffing on the sidewalk with my two suitcases.

Read some of the memorials about those who passed away after surgery, and I think I have a healthy respect for the procedure.  I'm really excited about getting my old life back, but I'm still a little nervous.  I can't wait to have the energy to be the father my son deserves (!)

Hope to post again as soon as I can post-op.  Happy new year.

Brian

After 3 years of investigation, I've been approved by my insurance company (Empire BCBS) for Lap RNY.  I'm 37, and have struggled with my weight for my entire life.  I'm a CPA, tech consultant, and professional speaker, and the extra weight I've picked up from traveling 100,000 miles a year and neglecting my health is starting to hinder my ability to chase my son around the yard - so it's time to get serious.

After  numerous failed attempts at weight loss (all of which resulted in gaining more weight than I started with), I've decided to have RNY on 1/15/2007.  My pre-op consults are on this Wednesday, 12/20/2006, at Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville, and my surgeon is Dr. William Richards.  He comes highly recommended from my friends in the medical community, and I am looking forward to meeting his team later this week.  I realize that this is going to be a significant surgery, but if I was going to do this on my own, I would have done it by now.

One of the things I think a lot of thin people don't understand is the vicious circle we get in when we let things go too far.  It's one thing to need to lose 10 pounds and talk about exercise, but even walking long distances becomes difficult when you pick up the weight of a linebacker over your "fighting weight".  The loss of confidence breeds despair, and the despair leads to grumpiness, which makes life much more difficult for everyone around you.  Some of the humiliations I've experienced in the last year include:
+ Breaking an airline seat armrest, resulting in three mechanics swooping into the plane to fix it, while the captain apologized over the P.A.
+ Having handicapped rooms assigned to me by hotels in response to seeing my size
+ Ending up purchasing my own seat belt extender for my numerous flights after I had to be reseated because the airplane didn't have one on hand (thanks, Pinnacle/NW Express.  I'll never forget that humiliation)
+ Being asked to get off the plane after boarding with a valid boarding pass because the plane was "over weight".  (I refuse to fly USAir to this day - as I don't respond well to public humiliation)
+ Breaking two lawn chairs, and falling flat on my butt
+ Destroying an office chair
+ Having a passenger next to me complain loudly that I was taking up too much of her room on an airplane, while all of the passengers around stared at me in disgust.
I've also had a general lack of energy and don't enjoy any active things any more - I'm just too exhausted after I do them.  A day of teaching a class and the related travel wipes me out.  

It's time for a change.  I can't wait.