Terri P.
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the guess work

May 09, 2008

im finally going in the right direction, im losing weight instead of gaining it. Sounds simple to most, since ive had the surgery thats how its suppose to be right?  Well unfortunately for me i dont always go with the flow so i started out going in the wrong direction. So this means i had to lose my fluid retention gain first., and since i had to count the gain, im counting it as a total loss as well.  Today i am down 20 lbs.  i hope it continues as well as it has been.  Sometimes it scares me because i feel hungry still, and i dont seem to really get that OMG IM SO FULL feeling... i mean yeah maybe a time or three, but thats about it.  So its hard to stop because i dont get that feeling so i am trying to just tell myself i think ive had enough and stop.  But i seem to get hungry faster.  Oh well i guess its all a trial and error thing.  So im gonna just keep doing what i think i should be doing. 

The battle Im fighting

May 02, 2008

Where to I begin?  I had my surgery, it went as planned, seemingly with no complications.  My recovery in the hospital was very painful for me, more than I had ever heard anyone else ever having.  I was having problems urinating on my own, I mean I could go, just not very much. I was on pain killers galore and nausea medicine to chase it.  I left the hospital on the 24th and someone who had had the surgery 2 years ago called me and told me stop taking the pain meds, that was what was making me OH SO SICK.  So I took her advice, and sure enough, the next day I was nausea free.  That was a blessing, because the nausea was just awful.  I still had the pain, but it wasnt any worse than when I was taking the pain meds.  I retained fluid big time, my fingers got fatter, my ankles huge, the Doctor said that would go away, some bodies just retain fluid like that after surgery.  I kept all my liquid foods down, no nausea, I walked up and down the street, I took all my calcium and vitamins & protein.  But the pain... it seemed to get worse, everyday worse and worse, to the point it took all I had,even with my husbands help, to get in and out of bed, not to mention my screams and cries.  It took all I had to sit on the toilet, to sit in a chair, to get up was almost impossible.  To make things worse, I GAINED 8 lbs.  Fluid they say.  Had to be, afterall, Ive done everything I was suppose to.  So Sunday the 27th, I go to the ER and they admit me.  Ran tests, ct scans, bloodwork, everything is normal they say.  Normal?  How can that be if I am close to saying I'd rather die than to keep experiencing this pain any longer?  The doctor was upset a tad that I wasnt on my pain meds, but I explained how sick I was with them, I mean SICK.  So he gave me tylenol 3 instead, and I vowed to take them as directed.  Well, I couldnt tell if they were working or not, but I didnt get sick on them, and now I can say I believe they are helping me.  I'm still in pain.  Sometimes it feels like its getting better, I feel its going away, then BOOM, its back.  I'm urinating normally again.  I am sleeping on a recliner chair, because the getting in a laying position in bed and getting back up I am sure is what was causing my pain to continue instead of improve.  It was like reripping something open every time.  Thats what it felt like.  I went to my Doctors appointment yesterday and he doesn't want to give me a diuretic just yet, he wants this fluid to go away naturally if possible.  At his office I was still 3 lbs over my before surgery weight, so i have lost some of it, and my swelling seems to lessen and then go back off and on.  I'm still following instructions on eating and walking and I am trying really hard not to get down on this.  One of the nurses at the appointment yesterday, she was so small, said she had the same thing happen to her, she gained after surgery until she lost the fluid, and so she is my inspiration right now.  She is the first person or case I have heard of this happening to, so I dont feel so alone.  My husband had to return to work today so I am on my own and its kinda scary, cause if i drop something, its staying on the ground til he comes home LOL.  I'm not going to over do it and Im not going to reverse the healing Ive gained by sleeping in this damn recliner just to pick up something I dropped.  So, other than the pain?  I'm doing great.  I feel great, I have lots of energy, just not quite healed enough to use it.  
Did I mention... before surgery WITH meds, my blood surgar ran between 280 and 380, and thats without cheating with any surgary deserts.  Today?  My sugar is averaging 84 and the highest its been since surgery is 98, and yes, that is WITHOUT meds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, any prayers would be greatly appreciated, altho God knows I've prayed enough for the world LOL. 

Tomorrow is the Day !!!!!!!!!!

Apr 20, 2008

I caint even begin to say how excited I am.  Well, Ive had a headache since yesterday, I think Ive stressed my body with all this emotion and excitement.  Im trying to relax, but its not easy, I feel like I have so much to do today.  I have to finish getting my stuff together to take with me in the morning, gotta run get a disposable camera for my before pics and Im also going to get a pedicure today, just for me, just because.  I feel like Im nesting!  I swanny, when I first got my date and it was 13 days before surgery, I felt like it was forever away, and now its here.  I've read so many success stories from people on here and on the web, it's just so amazing.  I am so hoping I do as well.  Ive had some really strange dreams in the last week, I guess its from the anxiety of things to come, maybe some fears of some sort, I'm not sure, but I do know its WLS related!  I know what I'm getting into, I couldnt be more ready.  About the fears I do have?  Not bad fears, but I think pretty normal stuff, like ... am I really going to lose this weight??  Where do I buy a wig if I lose my hair?  Stuff like that, nothing major and nothing that is freaking me out by any means.  The psychologist I saw told me it was pretty normal things everyone thinks about before the surgery, so that's good enough for me.  
Oh well, I guess thats about all I can say, I hope this headache goes away, I didnt sleep much last night, it was like Christmas Eve to a child... TOO EXCITED. 

Be Happy for Me, please

Apr 18, 2008

It's Saturday, 3 days before surgery.  I have alot to do this weekend to prepare.  I am so looking forward to this, Tuesday couldnt come fast enough.  My nutritionalist Katrina Segrave wrote a book "Life after Gastric bypass", i just received it in the mail and Ive glanced thru it, but im trying to not read the entire book before I go into the hospital, I wanted to read up on it while i was in there.  I ordered new whey liquid protein from online, hopefully that will be way better than me trying to drink milky chalky protein shakes.  So now i need to get my lil bag packed to take with me, and today or tomorrow im going to go buy some things I'll need for when I get home, popsicles, broths, soups, water.  lol I guess that's all i'll be eating for awhile.  Funny, i caint wait!!!
I do want to touch on one subject tho, as happy as i am for ME, and as excited as i am... it really baffles me how some people are so insensitive, so judgemental.  What ive noticed, and felt, is that bunches of people think you really are somehow 'cheating' by having WLS.  It just amazes me.  What am I cheating?  death?  the chance of having my limbs amputated because my diabetes is out of control?  A life of sickness and misery, not only for myself but for those around me who love me?  It angers me that somehow a person's ...shall we call it jealousy??... (not sure what to call it) gets in the way of them hoping the best for another human being, wanting that person to feel "normal" as theyve always felt,... geez is it just me who gets angry about this?  Sometimes they dont say anything, but you can see it, I'm sure you've felt it as well, you know the ones who will talk behind your back about you having the surgery.  *sigh*  You know, when my previous insurance refused to even think about paying for this surgery, and several of my friends and acquaintences started having the surgery, yes i felt envy, but never did i talk behind their back, never did i feel jealousy or ill- will towards them.  I prayed for them, hoped for them, and inside I wished I was as fortunate.  Now i am, and hopefully Im getting well wishes and prayers from some.

I'm having surgery in 4 days!!!!!

Apr 18, 2008

I am having my surgery on April 22nd, four days! It's hard to believe, I keep praying nothing happens to delay this, Ive waited so long I guess I just fear something will stop it from happening, or...I'll wake up.
I am so ready, so excited.  I have alot of friends and acquaintences who are post op, and theyve helped me alot.  Ive tried to be calm, but now that Ive had my pre op, I just caint even contain myself.  I've been worthless at work LOL, but I think they all understand.  
I keep wondering how or if I will change.  I mean, is it really possible to stay exactly the same when such a dramatic change takes place in your life?  I've not been thin since I was a young child.  I have no idea how it will feel, or how it's suppose to feel, to be a normal size.  I dream of going to stores and buying the cute clothes, of finding things without having to hunt for something to fit.  Most of all, I am praying that my diabetes will be under control for once., and really stretching the prayers for it to completely go away.  Wouldnt that be the best?!?   
Wish me luck everyone.  I caint stop grinning!!

About Me
Fayetteville, NC
Location
26.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
04/22/2008
Surgery Date
Apr 16, 2008
Member Since
Friends 7
Latest Blog 5
the guess work
The battle Im fighting
Tomorrow is the Day !!!!!!!!!!
Be Happy for Me, please
I'm having surgery in 4 days!!!!!
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