Do you really love "YOU"

Jan 18, 2011

Ok so, I'm fasting from FB for the next month and a half so I will use this time to encourage all I can.

I ask the question do you really love "you" because I want to know...do you think the world's view of you equals happiness? Wel,l I am here to tell you, being in a size 6 did not invoke me to love myself.  I knew I looked beautiful on the outside but still struggle on a daily basis with love...I have put so many things and people before me, I didnt even know how to start loving myself.  You say you love "you", how do you know?  How do you articulate to a person who is struggling with themselves how to love themselves?  I will share with you what I did...

First, I had to acknowledge that I didnt even know what loving me looked/felt like..i have had 3 failed marriages and until I learn to love myself there is no way in heck i would be successful in a relationship.  Not just with a man but with anyone.  The fear of rejection came from what Ive inflicted into myself.  If I loved myself, I would not have accepted 14 years of abuse from my 1st husband.  If I loved myself, I would not have lowered myself to the depth of depression to attempt suicide...if I loved myself, I would accept the change WLS has offered me.  I couldnt see past what my eyes could see because my heart was wretched.  I allowed people to use me over and over again...no more!

Secondly, I had to learn to say no.  I have not exercised this yet, but I'm confident that I can do it.  I had to learn that selfish is not always bad.  I can not be good for my children, or for my mother, my employees, my family and friends, period until I could be selfish enough to take care of myself.

The last and final thing I had to do was to recognize that I am beautiful, inside and out and there isnt anything in the world I am willing to do to change it...I will not gain my weight back, I will get my butt back in the gym.  I will start back on my vitamins and my protein. Not doing those things is not something someone who love themselves would do. 

At the end of the day, all we have is ourselves first.  We cant be anything for anyone until we first embrace and fall in love with ourselves.  I have blogged about this before but I still struggle.  I have promised myself that I will not continue to abort the mission of what and who God has for me.  This journey is far from over.  I had to move from everything which made me comfortable (even my weight) to a place of total unfamilarity....

2011 is a very promising year and God has already answered extremely favorably...Stop look and listen. Only you know if you are still trying to fake it til you make it...if you are struggling with loving yourself, put some things in place to reverse the curse...remember, the enemy comes not but to kill to steal and destroy...the first place this starts is in the mind...

I can honestly say today that I love "ME" and I love you too...

Be encouraged yall!

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