chrisPeds-RN

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Yesterday I was seen by my surgeon for my last pre op visit. She stated although she had wanted to do a DS, that after meeting with several bariatric surgeons they have all concluded this would not be safe for me. My two options are now to down size my pouch and lengthen my limb or band my pouch. I do not want the band on the pouch. I have read this doesn't help!  I pray for God to guide to my doctor and show that he is in control and he will do right by me.

Today, has nothing to do with surgery. I  had my first "real" encounter with racism. Growing up I always had friends of various color and back grounds. I married a wonder Hispanic man. My best friend is black. Yet taking my beautiful mixed white and Hispanic daughter to the eye doctor showed me that racism is a live and well. Right here in Fayetteville! The All American City where our military is our largest population and heaven knows it is diverse! My eye doctor  is Dr. E*****. I have been seeing him for 10 years but this was my 7 year old daughter's first visit. He looked at her and asked if she was mine! After the shock (she looks just like me but with black hair) i said yes. He quizzed her on how smart she is. Trying hard to stump a 7 year old.... ooh so big of him.  At first I thought he was playing and joking innocently. Then he started about how he wanted to get rid of all Mexicans in the US, that they all should learn Spanish, they should contribute, and talked about deporting them and etc..... I cant recite word for word but it got really offensive. I was so in shock. When I saw my little girls face turn and look down, I spoke up and reminded him that my husband is Mexican, that he came here illegally as a child, that he has served in the US Army for 8 years. The doctor then spoke in Spanish to my daughter and asked her if she comprehended it..... She said no that she doesn't know Spanish and only a little bit. (we are working on a Spanish program since my hubby is gone alot). He told her "don't worry learning Spanish isn't important as long as she knew English well." My daughter was born here in Fayetteville and is proud of being both white and Mexican. She is so proud of her daddy too! I was hoping that this didn't hurt her as much as it did me. I was hoping the child in her would not understand what he was talking about. But when we got in the car she asked me "Why does he hate my daddy? Mexicans are good people too. I'm half Mexican." and then she started crying. I tried to explain to her that not everyone is like us. Not everyone is accepting of other cultures and people. I re-in forced to her that even though we are all different on the out side that we are all the same on the inside. That God loves all people and expects that we should also. I used his racism as a learning experience for my child. I would have been offended if it was just me, but to say such things in front of a child and to hurt this child.... my child was so very wrong. I can still feel my insides shaking.... I want to say horrible things to him...... I will need a lot of prayer. My husband is a US citizen and our children are Americans..... they have every right to be here.  I called my husband who is at Fort Lee, Va right now and told him. He says that racism is everywhere and people have treated him wrong in the past because of his race........ but it upset him that Dr E hurt his little girl. He encouraged me to right the local newspaper and report him to an "ethics board". but I don't know what kind of board to write too. If anyone reading this knows where to report this behavior please post.  I know this is not weight loss related but my heart is so broken for my little girl. I know many out there have encountered stuff like this before. I know for sure I will not go back there. He even made fun of her t-shirt. Said she needed a new shirt that was not scary and more age appropriate???  She was wearing a long pink t-shirt with skull and bones on the front (Target Halloween tee) over jean leggings with Mary Jane's.. She looked adorable. Hot pink t-shirts are not scary. I am not looking for a political debate on immigration reform and etc... This was aimed a  7 year old little girl.

Just having a Mommy day with my little man. He is currently feeding his lunch to the dog.  I am waiting to pick up my daughter from the bus stop. She told me this morning "Mommy, I wish you could walk me to the bus stop like the other mommys." My heart sank. I guess she could tell how this made me sad and quickly add "but its ok, I know you have a lot of pain."  I gave her my best smile and told her that it was ok, because mommy will be walking her to the bus stop real soon!  The sad part is, I felt how my obesity had affected my child. My chronic back issues have seriously decreased the distance I can walk as of late. I have severe stenosis of my spine, herniated disc / degenerative disc disease, and something "broke off"  and floating around my spine. I have had alot of back pain since I had my son two years ago, but since the end of July I have been in severe pain and it hurts down my leg.  It doesnt help that I have fibromyasia. I know after surgery I will  again be able to walk, even run with my kids. I have made a list of things I will do when i loose weight. When i get a little down hearted or discouraged, I take out my list and read it! I know that taking care of myself and setting a good example for my children is the greatest gift I can give them. Looking forward to being post op and on the road to a healthier me!

August 25, 2010:  I had my Pre-op 1:1 with Dr Olson today. My husband was with me. She explained to me there are two different surgery possibilites. Either, I wake up with a reconstructed pouch and longer limb or converted to a DS. I find out which I have when I wake up from the OR.  I trust God to guide Dr Olson during my surgery.  I have a surgery date as well: September 24th!!!!  I have two more appointments before my surgery. One with anesthesia and the other again with Dr O to go over my med list and double check some history. I had an episode of Heprin Induced Thrombocytopenia with my first surgery and this caused my platelets to drop from 240 to 93.  So this is an area of concern with this surgery and I am never to have heprin again! I will be in ICU for 5 days this go around, even if I am a lAP surgery. I am glad because I know I will get  more supervised care in ICU.  I am grateful that I will be having two wonderful surgeons doing my revision: both Dr Olson and Dr St. Jean will be in the OR. I am "special".