Wednesay, 2/21/07 - My memory of my body image my entire life has always been "fat". The word obese was never in our vocabulary. To feel fat and always think about how you look is very stressful and emotionally draining. I started the yo-yo dieting at age 13 ( 132 lbs.) with the help of our family doctor. He started me on diet pills with the approval of my mother. My mother was average weight and of course, wanted me to emulate her. The pills helped for a short while. I have been on every diet you can think of throughout my adult life, losing 50 lbs. and gaining it all back plus. When I married I weighed 110 lbs. Believe me that took a lot of work. I ate jello morning, noon and night and in between. Of course as soon as I started eating like a normal person I gained at least 30 lbs. I then became pregnant with my son and gained another 30-40 lbs. My son weighed 7 lb. 10 oz. and I lost about 10 lbs. The rest of the weight remained with me. Three years later my daughter was born and the cycle repeated itself. Then I really went crazy by going to a "diet doctor" who gave me every color pill you can think of. My energy level was thru the roof. Washing windows at midnight, cleaning my house etc. and not sleeping with heart palpitations. This went on for several months until I finally gave up on the pills. Again, the weight came back. I finally decided well, this is how it is going to be for the rest of my life. My weight will level off and I will just have to live with it. This did not happen. I am now at my heaviest weight, 220 lbs. (4' 10" tall) with hbp, sleep apnea, diabetes and joint pain. I cannot continue like this, so I investigated WLS and found Dr. Brolin. He is a good physician and has been doing this surgery for many years. His office staff are wonderful and I feel very comfortable that I have chosen Dr. Brolin. Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007 is my surgery. I have chosen the RNY because I have to lose over 100 lbs. I know this surgery is only a tool and I will have to adjust to eating a lot different than I do now. I believe I can do this and look forward to this journey. Finally, I believe, I will be happy and healthier than I have ever been. My family is very supportive and are anxiously awaiting to see the new "me".
Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2007. Home from the hospital since Sunday but I am in a lot of pain. The incision on my left side was larger than expected because of a large muscle and a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries that they had to get thru. But its all over now and the good stuff should be in front of me. I am looking forward to this journey. Dr. Brolin has already taken me off my blood pressure meds because I was doing so well in the hospital. I will be seeing him on Friday and look forward to feeling a lot better. In the meantime, I am waiting to hear from his office for a new pain medication, the Tylenol liquid is not doing the job. Once the meds are taken care of it should be smooth sailing and on the road to recovery.
April 10, 2007 - I cannot believe its been so long since I wrote. I have had a very good recovery and am doing great. Although I am disappointed in the slow weight loss I am told this is not unusual and in the end I will end up just like everyone else, reaching goal. Since surgery I have lost 24 lbs. It averages 4lb per week, BUT, I lost 16 lbs. the first 2 weeks, so its not 4lbs./week but more like 2lbs./week. I guess if I can keep this up I will lose the 100 lbs. within a year. Just getting anxious that's all. Went to Dr. Brolin's support meeting last night for the first time. It was a good meeting. Dr. Brolin answered lots of questions and put everyone's mind at ease. I especially enjoyed his answers about drinking water. He said he does not put a number on how many ozs. you should drink. Drink when you want. You will know you are dehydrated if your urine is dark or when you get very thirsty. That was a "coup" for me because I hate to drink water. I will continue to drink my 6-8 glasses daily, but if I miss one or two I will not get crazy about it. The support group was very large and held in Dr. Brolin's waiting room. He had snacks for those who could partake and of course, there was water (along with diet coke and sprite). Many of the attendees were out for more than a year or two, some had 5 years behind them. The only thing I saw was that I think many of the old timers may have gained some or most of their weight back. I hope by going to the meetings they can continue on their journey to lose weight. I'd hate to be in that position, after going thru all this (surgery, learning how to eat again) that I would gain the weight back. This is my biggest fear. I hope I never have to deal with it. Once I am at goal I hope to maintain by continuing what I have learned along this journey, i.e., keeping track of what I eat, exercise, etc.
June 9, 2007, I think its time for me to take photos! I cannot believe that I have now lost 44 lbs. That is so awesome for me, because I am such a slow loser. I have been losing almost 2 lbs. per week and have had only one stall after I think about 2 months. I am feeling great and am thrilled when someone tells me that I look terrific and am doing very well. My DH is beside himself with happiness and now tells me that he was probably wrong in not wanting me to have the WLS. I am healthier, more energetic and my self esteem is thru the roof! I am trying not to go on a shopping spree because my size changes frequently. I am now wearing a size M in pants (but I still need the elastic waist because of my tummy) and a size L for tops. I am not svelte but I don't mind wearing clothes that are not BAGGY!!!!! My exercise is still a problem for me, I continue to walk but this is still a struggle. I am hoping that after another 20-30 lbs. that maybe I can join a gym, get a personal trainer and get down to the business of exercise. Maybe if I get lucky I can become addicted to exercise just like others I know. Once this happens you will know about it.