Christina's Blog

Onward an Upward to a new life!

August 9th, 2007

You know you have a very good friend when she takes you BRA shopping! My friend Kim decided that I had saggy boobs after losing 105 pounds and my poor fitting cheap bras didn't help any. She wanted to take me to Victoria's Secret to buy some bras since that is where she always shops......I told her I couldn't shop there because nothing there fits me. She reminded me that after losing 105 pounds there were plenty of things at VS that would fit me! So, off we went on what is now known as the 'Boobie Bash'......I was able to purchase 5 bras (actually Kim bought me one) and I couldn't be happier with my ability to buy something at VS and that my bras actually fit well and make me feel good when I wear them. Hubby likes them too! WLS rocks!

July 23, 2007

My profile update is long overdue! I am plugging right along and really, really enjoying my summer. I remember so many summers that I did not enjoy because I was so big. Every year I would purpose to 'lose X amount of pounds by summer' or 'get skinny by summer'........and it never happened. Well, this year is different. I am down a total of 105 pounds since surgery and I feel great and am generally pretty comfortable in my skin. When I think about my current weight of 174 pounds it is just a bit surreal to me. I have not weighed less than 200 pounds since my teenage years!

The beach was so much more fun this year than it has ever been before. We went to the beach end June/early July and had a great time. Some thoughts on my beach adventure:

     It REALLY is easier to WALK through sand when you are 105
            pounds lighter........and I used to just think that sand was just
            'tough' to walk on.

     Getting out of the beach chair that is low to the ground is also a
            whole lot easier with 105 pounds less of me!

     Sitting on the beach and NOT being the biggest thing around is
            great!

     Actually feeling COMFORTABLE in a bathing suit.....PRICELESS!

     Not feeling like I always have to cover myself up so no one sees
            how big I am is really great....I didn't mind walking the 2 blocks
            to the beach in JUST my bathing suit.

     Actually WANTING to get a sun tan is a real change for me.....I
            always made the statement that 'I am just a fair white girl' and
            remained so all summer long. The truth of the matter was that I
            just didn't want to expose myself in the business of getting a
            tan. This year I actually have a tan and I didn't mind exposing
            myself to get it........laying on the beach sand in the quest of the
            beach tan was actually FUN!

     Actually being IN the family beach photos instead of always
            being the person TAKING the photos......UNBELIEVABLE!

     Going to the water park at the beach this summer was so fun! I
            had a blast running all over the place and actually enjoying
            myself rather than thinking that I was the biggest thing in the
            park.

     Never would have gone to the boardwalk and rode bikes in the
            morning before WLS.......NO PROBLEM this summer.......did it
            several mornings and actually enjoyed it!

Summertime always brings the visits to local amusement parks as well......again, an entirely different experience this year. It is so AWESOME to go to the park and NOT worry about whether I would fit into the seats or restraint systems. No problem.......never even gave it a thought!

In general, I feel great and have had no complications. I am told that I show so much more confidence in the way I present myself and even in the way I walk! My labs are all fine and I faithfully take all my vitamins, calcium, and B12. My exercise has definitely hit the bottom in the past 2 months due to major changes in my work schedule and other summertime fun stuff that keeps me running. I really have to figure out how to get exercise integrated back into my routine. I have also found that I have to be really, really careful about grazing and about eating poor food choices especially since I can tolerate sugar and fat and I don't dump.......The food demons never go away now, do they? I find myself reverting back to some grazing type behaviors so I am struggling to keep that in check as well.

5/30/07   I have done it.........I have lost 100 pounds since surgery almost 8 months ago!!!!! Enough said!!!!!    And I have the card to prove it!!!! (thanks to Lizzyl)




5/21/07   Oh my....how my life has changed since WLS! Sometimes it is still rather surreal but yet I know it is very real. I am down a total of 96 pounds and am excited about heading to the century mark! I am planning to reward myself with a little tattoo. I had the pleasure of taking part in a Fashion Show last week as part of my bariatric support group meeting. A local clothing store offered clothing for us to model (one dressy outfit and one more casual outfit), a local jeweler came and matched jewelry to our outfits, and a local hair stylist offered to do our hair....she cut, colored, permed, highlighted, etc.....whatever we wanted......it was a great experience and it was alot of fun. I love my new hairdo! It is nice to actually really BELIEVE that you do look nice in what you are wearing. 'Normalcy' is a great feeling. I no longer walk into a room and wonder who is looking at me because I am of course the biggest thing in the room.....nope, now I am just another person in the room with everyone else. Somedays I feel so good about myself that I am just giddy - like a school girl with her first crush! I guess for the first time I am really liking me - what I Iook like, the confidence, the hope for a healthy future.  I run into people who comment about how great I look and I am able to smile confidently, say 'Thank you', and really appreciate the compliment. I couldn't do that before...When I was MO I always thought people just said nice things because they felt obligated to. Sometimes I worry about becoming too conceited about my new looks - sometimes I think I don't have the right to feel so good about me so I wonder if I am full of myself. But, at the end of the day the reality is that I do look good, I do feel good, and I have entered into a time of life where I will be overall happier and certainly much healthier. One of my best WOW moments are the ones where I can look at my body profile in the mirror and not be immediately repulsed and turn away because I have this huge, protruding, pregnant like abdomen.....that is just GONE! I had my measurements done last week and to date I have lost a total of 38.75 inches all over my body. I have gone from 45.40% body fat measured about 5 weeks after surgery to my current body fat measurement of 37.10%. I am exercising at least 3 days a week at Curves. I have noticed my arms and my thighs becoming flabby - like deflated balloons......kind of actually grosses me out but I know I can cover these areas. My abdomen was always my biggest asset so to speak and it still is! It is smaller for sure but it is one big loose hunk of YUCK!!!! Don't know if plastics are in my future or not but I figure that for many, many years I've been covering up a whole lot more abdomen than what I have now and I guess I can keep covering it up. Fortunately I 'carry my weight well' so I guess it never really looks as bad as it is! I saw my endocrinologist last week and I am able to STOP my insulin as my blood sugars are so good.  That is just huge!!!!!!!! I also had to decrease my dose of thyroid medicine which is very common as you lose weight. I had to stop taking my Cozaar (which is often used for high blood pressure but is also used for protecting the kidneys). I have never had high blood pressure but was taking Cozaar for the kidney protective effects.  My dose was reduced 3 months ago when I saw the endocrinologist because I was getting dizzy at times.  I have been taking the reduced dose for 3 months but was still getting periods of dizziness but I thought the dizziness could also be related to the fact that I don't drink near enough fluids every day. My dizziness is likely related to both factors but my blood pressure in the office was only 84/58 so she said to discontinue the Cozaar. Even though Cozaar offers protective effects to the kidney low blood pressure means the kidneys are not being adequately perfused so it is just best to stop it, keep an eye on my urine tests (looking for protein in the urine) and go from there.  Shopping has become much more fun these days. My pants are 14/16, shirts anywhere from a 14 to a 'L' depending on the style and I FINALLY got rid of my size 10 baggy butt undies and bought some size 8! It is nice to have undies that fit again!  I can now feel comfortable in my clothing and not like I am stuffed into things and all my lumps, bumps, and rolls are showing. Yesterday was a real eye opener as I went bathing suit shopping.....now THIS is dangerous territory....who ever really thinks they look good in a bathing suit anyway? We are going to the beach for 10 days end of June/early July so I really had to buy a bathing suit. Well, I found 2 that I really liked and ended up buying both of them since I couldn't decide on one.  One is black and one is a floral print and I must say that I can smile when I see them on me and look in the mirror. It will be so nice to walk in the sand and not feel like the beached whale! I always bought bathing suits with the little skirts anyway and now that I have saggy thighs this becomes all the more important - does seem though that those skirts are getting shorter too! The bathing suits are a size 18.....last summer's suit was a size 24 and I was filling that up really good!

4/22/07 I am now down 90 pounds and am doing much better at controlling my eating as far as snacking on 'bad' things. Today I had a little fun with cleaning out my closets/drawers. I have not done this since my surgery and it was just time....there was so much stuff in my closets that just does not fit and it needed to go! So, my goal this weekend was to get that chore taken care of. By the time I was done I had my car trunk FULL of clothing for Goodwill. Some stuff that couldn't be donated I decided to take outside and BURN!!!  My hubby and kids were burning stuff in the fire pit so I decided to have al ittle fun and set my clothes on fire too! WHAT GREAT FUN!!!! I added some new pictures to my profile to commemorate the event. In the burning photos I am actually wearing a pair of WAY too big capris that I 'comfortably' fit into last summer. In one photo I had my 9 year old son jump into my pants with me.......TOO funny. Only problem is that now my closet is EMPTY except for a few things! Oh my....I'll have to go SHOPPING!! I am now wearing a size 16 pants and XL shirts.....amazing considering I started a little over 6 months ago wearing size 26/28, 30/32, 3XL. I am very pleased with how I am doing and with the surgery. I cannot tell you how many people run into me now and have to take a double take. I feel good, I look good......and that is not something overweight people ever really feel comfortable saying. Praise God for this gift!

4/9/07  Well, I have only lost 7 pounds in the past month. I know this is normal but I also know that I am somewhat responsible for this slow down. I have absolutely figured out that I do not dump and this unfortunately leads to a little 'license to sin'. We must be so careful of this.  It is too, too easy to go back to old habits. I find myself grabbing 5 or 6 peanut M+Ms out of the candy jar at work, a little nibble of this, a little nibble of that and so on.  Pretty soon those little nibbles add up to alot of calories and then slowed or stalled weight loss. I go back to the wrong thinking that "a little bit won't hurt" but unfortunately the little bit becomes alot and I find myself in a downward spiral. I can say however that I am able to pull myself back to reality a whole lot faster than in the past. I 'get a grip' and then move on to the next day in which I do al the right things as far as food choices. I am having a great day today despite my 'sins' on Easter Sunday. I must of ate about 15 of those small hard coated 'birdie eggs'.  Thing was that they were not even a high end variety....cheap chocolate etc. Oh, how the old habits just come creeping back! I think I have figured out one thing about myself and that is that I simply must stay away from certain things or the things just acts like a trigger for more bad behavior which then just tends to grow on itself. I don't think it is at all wrong to have a treat now and then but I am only truly beginning to realize what a life long struggle this entire weight control thing will be. I know it intellectually but actually managing it is another thing. I look and feel so good that I do not want to jeapordize all the work I have done in having the surgery and drastically changing my life and my health. We must be so very careful to guard the gift that has been given to us. As of this very day I am 6 months post op and down 87 pounds. That is a GREAT accomplishment and one which I want to sustain! I am also beginning to get a good idea of how GROSS my abdomen is going to look in the end when I have lost all my weight.   I always carried the majority of my weight in my abdomen anyway so I suspected this would be an issue but UGH!!!   But, it is a vast improvement over carrying all the extra weight around so I will deal with it....maybe even entertain the idea of plastics somewhere down the line. One thing at a time for now.....doing the right things.....everyday!

3/20/07   A few little WOW moments today. I need some new pants (again!) so I stopped by Sears this morning. Actually only found one pair of pants that I liked and they are a 16! I couldn't believe it......me in a 16. I tried the 18s on first and they were too big to buy....I never dreamed the 16s would fit but they did....they are just so slightly snug at the waist but that won't last for long. There was a sale rack with some Liz Clairborne and Covington Woman shirts on it....usually these shirts are easily between $30-40 apiece. Turns out I really liked 3 of the shirts....more dressy than not but not so dressy that I would be the best dressed woman in the room.....anyway, most of them were 16s and I figured NO WAY! Well, I tried them on and they all fit......one of them is just slightly snug but then again that won't last for long! I couldn't believe it..........16s!!!!!!!! The best part of the deal is that they were already marked down at least twice and because Sears is doing inventory, they were extra discounted......for all 3 shirts I paid less than $10!!!!! At these prices I can afford to buy clothes every week! Shopping for clothes is so much more fun now....now that I don't have to keep buying bigger and ever bigger sizes and there actually ARE sizes for me. Another little WOW moment came today when I was riding a shuttle bus to my place of employment. Those little buses have those 'escape hatches' in the ceilings....at my previous size those were scary sights...first of all how would I get up there and then how would I ever fit through that hole? Today, i looked up a the hatch and said to my friend "I can fit through that hole!" It's the little things.............

3/9/07  I am 5 months post op today and I have lost a total of 80 pounds. I have also arrived in that magical place called ONEDERLAND!!!!!!! I weigh 199 pounds and this is the first time in at least 20 years that I have weighed less than 200 pounds. I could not be happier with my decision to have this surgery. I have had no complications other than some food struggles, I feel great, I'm looking great and alot of my labs have normalized (blood sugars, cholesterol, triglycerides and others). My arms are like railroad tracks because of all the veins that are now visible as they are not covered with layers of fat. I can feel bones such as my collar bones and shoulder blades which I wasn't even sure I had before. I have more energy. I can walk up the 8 flights of stairs in the parking garage at work and not feel like I am going to die when I get to the top.....in fact, I purposely park on the roof now so that I HAVE to walk up the stairs! Never would have done that at 279 pounds! More and more people are saying how great I look and how they just can't believe it is really me.....especially people that have not seen me since before I had surgery....many not sure what to say....they often wonder if I am sick or something because of the large weight loss. I assure them I am quite well. I am looking forward to warmer weather coming up and especially to being able to wear summer attire and to feel good and look good in it. My goal for the next week or two is to go buy some new pants as the ones I have now are getting too baggy......I think I may even buy a pair of pants with a zipper!!!!!! rather than elastic...now is that an accomplishment or what?   My next big goal is to lose 100 pounds total.....I am getting a tatoo when I get to that milestone!
                                                                                                                          2/19/07

      How true it is that many of us learn the hard way.....I had a lesson in that yesterday. I had the 'munchies' all day and was munching on pretzels most of the day. At dinnertime I had a little salad with dressing. Shortly after dinner I wanted something more so I had yet another pretzel (the big hard sourdough ones). Well, that wasn't enough so not long after that I had a 1/4 cup of almonds. As I was eating the almonds however I began to feel VERY full. Well of course, wrong thinking entered my mind and being that there were only about 10 almonds left I just HAD to finish them. The very next almond made me feel even more full and then I continued on with a few more. I finally gave the rest to my husband but was really starting to feel uncomfortable. Well, about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes later I vomited of course! Very gross to see pieces of almond and sourdough pretzel coming back up! And to top it off, some of the pretzel was still in fairly big chunks......so much for chewing well!!!!! This is the first time I have vomited due to eating too much so hopefully I have learned my lesson......sometimes it is better to learn the hard way.

     That being said, I am down 74 pounds and happy about that. I was at Curves this morning and was weighed and measured again and was also happy about those numbers. I really hadn't lost more than about 8 pounds from mid January to now but my pants were getting bigger and bigger so I knew I was shrinking in inches. I began going to Curves in mid November 2006 which was about a month after my surgery. Since starting at Curves, I have lost a total of 28.25 inches in body measurements so that is exciting. The tool is working........me learning to work with it is another story and adventure!                                                                                                                 2/6/07

      Well, the scale has finally decided to move again, thank goodness! I am now down to 210 for a total of 69 pounds lost. It feels good to see the scale move again after staying the same for almost a month. I started to look at this past month as my body's way of asking me if I was really serious about making these permanent lifestyle changes...I kept doing all the right things and things started moving again.

     I found out last week that I have a herniated disc in my back and multiple cysts on my left ovary.....guess that explains all the back pain and pelvic pain I have been having! The disc must have went back in for now because my pain is gone and I am going to leave it at that. The ovary thing is not a big deal...just an bothersome ache over my left ovary from time to time.....again, will just leave it be for now! Who says losing weight is healthy????

     I saw my endocrinologist last week and she was very pleased with my progress. My blood sugars are all but normal for the most part. I will continue with the same small dose of insulin I am taking for now and see what happens. I thought that I would be able to get off some of my other medications but in fact I walked out of her office taking yet another medication!!!!!!!! I won't bore you with the details but it all does make sense as I have strong family history of cardiac disease and heart attacks so I will just comply. Kind of frustrating as we spend alot of money on drugs but I really do understand the need for the medications.....I will be a good nurse/patient and not argue.

     My sex drive has kicked into high gear lately......my husband sure is happy but I have never been such a little nymph before.....can't get enough!!!! Guess those hormones are raging or I just feel 'sexier'...whatever it is I will just go with it!!!!!!

     My clothes continue to fall off of me.....I will have to go buy some pants again real soon or go visit the Goodwill store.......oh, the problems we have!!!!!!

     More and more people who haven't seen me for some time are commenting on how different I look....It is a very good feeling and I am truly enjoying it as I am actually learning how to graciously acknowledge these kind comments.                                                                                                                           1/29/07

     Things continue to go well. I was able to tolerate some chicken x2 and egg salad x2 in the past 2 weeks without having any problems with it as I have previously. I am still at 213 which is 66 pounds lost since surgery and have been there for about 3 weeks. I am not getting all wound up about this being one of those dreaded stalls because I know that it is normal and I also believe it has to do with the fact that I've been having back pain since the weekend before New Year's and then it got really bad that week to the point that I couldn't walk, was in severe pain and missed 3 days of work because of it. The pain persisted for over 2 weeks and of course I did not exercise during that time-actually for almost 3 weeks. During the worst week of the pain I barely ate anything as I felt like total crap so that has an effect as well. I am hoping that things pick up here again soon.

     I have had some nice WOW moments over the past few weeks that have been encouraging even if the scale isn't moving lately. The pants I bought a little over a month ago are beginning to be a bit big....I don't think I'll get too much more wear out of them and I will have to buy new again. I have already gone from a size 26 pants pre-op to my current size 20's which are falling off of me. My girlfriends at work comment that I really should go buy "pants with a zipper!"......that would be a change after unending years of always wearing pants that had an elastic waist band. I might go check out the Goodwill stores and see what they have to offer in the way of 'zipper pants'.  More and more people have stopped me and asked me lately "Are you losing weight?" and commenting about how great/different I look. That is a really nice feeling to know that others notice.....especially on those days when I don't necessarily see someone who is 66 pounds lighter and who often still sees the 279 pound person in the mirror.  Yesterday at church was a bit of a WOW moment for me. My family and I had to pass by other folks already sitting in an aisle in order to get to our seats. In the past, that was a dreaded experience for me as I was the 'fat girl' who had to somehow get my big ole self past these people without killing them! I always felt like I had to "suck it in" (yeah right!) and that my big butt was in their faces as I went by. And of course I always felt like they were looking at me and wondering why I didn't go sit somewhere else. Well....not this time. 66 pounds less of me was able to pass down the aisle full of people without even making contact with anyone else!!!! It is also so nice to sit in seats of any kind that actually have room left on either side of me!

     I saw my surgeon last week for routine follow-up and he was pleased with my progress. I had a nice WOW moment when I left the office. The secretary was taking care of my bill etc. and she thought that I was a patient who was thinking about having WLS. I told her that I had already had WLS and she commented "Oh, that's good, because I certainly didn't think you LOOKED like someone who NEEDED WLS". So, I guess 213 looks pretty good! I told her she had paid me the greatest compliment.

     My back pain has resolved but I had an MRI last week since it was very different than any other back pain I have ever had and much more severe. I see my family doctor this week to get the results of that. The MRI was actually another WOW moment as I actually fit comfortably in the MRI machine rather than feeling like I was stuffed in there like a sausage as I have felt previously when I had an MRI of my shoulder.  MRI machines are on the small size and anyone of size is literally stuffed into them and it is a very uncomfortable feeling. NOT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!

1/17/07

     I saw my family doctor yesterday and he was very pleased with my progress. He said that he was just amazed and couldn't believe that I was the same person that has been coming to the office for many, many years with her diabetes out of control and overweight. It is nice for once to actually have a pleasant office visit and feel good about it when you leave! I didn't mind paying the $20 copay either! I had a real WOW moment today when I caught my profile in the mirror.....for the first time, I wasn't totally disgusted with what I saw and didn't have that instant urge to turn away! I actually looked twice and had that moment when I said to myself "Girl, you are looking good!!" I am looking forward to more of these moments coming in the months ahead.
                                                                                                            1/15/07

     I saw my nutritionist today and she was pleased. We talked about my difficulties with getting my fluids in so hopefully I can improve on that aspect of the post op life. I had a great WOW moment today. I am a nurse educator. I wear street clothes to work but I wear a cover jacket/scrub jacket. I was wearing a 3X prior to surgery and filled it out quite nicely!  My jacket has really gotten too big and last week my supervisor said something to me......"you have GOT to buy a new jacket---everyone needs to SEE how much weight you've lost". So, off to the mall I go today. I was looking through all the jackets and finally found one that I liked but of course unsure of the size I would now need. Well, to make a long story short, I can now wear a plain old XL lab jacket. I thought I would never wear anything that didn't have more than one 'X' .....what a great feeling!!!!!!

1/13/07

     66 pounds down. I now weigh 213 which is less than what I weighed 17 years ago when I got married. I think one of my weight loss progress photos will be to get out my wedding gown and put it on since it may fit better now than it did 17 years ago! Feeling good other than being a little dizzy now and then which I am sure is due to a bit of dehydration. Still struggling with the fluids every day and still a little fearful of meat. I had my 3 month post-op labs drawn yesterday and everything looks pretty ok on paper.....prealbumin levels are in the low normal range....I have been a little lazy about my protein shakes..some days I just dont "feel like it". I have all kinds of appointments this month - family doctor, endocrinologist, surgeon, nutritionist - so I will see what everyone has to say.  Still dealing with the darn back pain - it has been over 2 weeks now. I will discuss this with my family doctor this week.

1/06/07

     Well, I am down by 61 pounds now, weighing in at 218. That puts me at one pound below the lowest weight I can ever remember being as an adult!!!!!! It is an amazing feeling to be so successful at this and I am so greatful for this tool I have been given. My pastor was talking last week about rather than having a 'Happy New Year' to rather concentrate on having a 'Greatful New Year' which I think makes a whole lot of sense......things won't always be sunny and bright but we can be greatful for the blessings we do experience. With my current weight, I have moved into the 'obese' category and out of the 'morbidly obese' category'......now that is progress!!!!! A few WOW moments for me lately ----- I can wrap a bath towel around me and have it overlap in the front! Today at my son's basketball game, I was sitting in one of those portable fold up chairs that everyone has.......I realized that I was WITHIN the stated weight limit for the chair rather than being over the weight limit and fearing it would collapse on me! People who haven't seen me for some time are really noticing my weight loss so that is a great feeling. I guess it must be obvious that something is going on! Still struggling with meats but I work around it as frustrating as it is. Still also struggling with some constipation too but "this to shall pass" He he he!!!!! :) My size 20 pants are even starting to get a little baggy so I guess it won't be long until I am off buying new pants again. My exercise has suffered this week as I have been experiencing severe low back pain which actually sent me in tears to the family doctor begging for a shot of something! I have been taking muscle relaxants, using a TENS unit and using heat as well but I am still hurting.....much better than it was but still quite annoying. I even treated myself yesterday and went to see a massage therapist friend of mine......felt better for a while anyway. I promise to get new pictures up soon. We bought a digital camera for Christmas and I went to use it today at my son's basketball game and the batteries went dead. The batteries they give you with it are either really cheap or the camera just sucks up alot of energy!
                                                                                                                12/24/06

      I am now up to a total of 55 pounds lost.....it just keeps falling off!!! That is an exciting number for me because the most I ever lost on any diet I was ever on was 55 pounds so I absolutely know that I will be surpassing that mark and very, very soon!!!! When I think about the clothing sizes I have dropped I am thrilled. I have gone from wearing a size 26 pants to a size 20 and even the 20's are getting a little baggy in the butt! So, Merry Christmas to less of me and may I keep diminishing in the New Year.......May 2007 be the year that the REAL me is finally revealed!!!!!

                                                                                                                     12/16/06

       I have now lost a total of 51 pounds in just about 10 weeks so I am obviously thrilled about that. The natural tendency is to wish that the weight loss was faster but I know the reality is that it is just fine as it is.  Sometimes there are other little measures of success that renew my spirit and determination to do the right things and make the most of this gift of surgery. I joined Curves on Nov. 14th and each month they weigh and measure you. I had my measurements done this morning and the numbers are encouraging......In just a little over month of doing the Curves workout, I have lost a total of 8.5 inches over my body, a total of 14.25 pounds and 2.10% of my body fat. I remember how wonderful it was to see these declining numbers when I belonged to Curves a few years back. I have found that I now need to be careful about allowing old eating habits to creep back up on me. The birthday parties were last weekend and I had a little cake and some popcorn there along with that wonderful smoothie thing I discovered.  Over the past week I have taken part in a cookie making marathon with some friends and my daughter and I are making cookies today and tomorrow.   Of course when one makes cookies it is tempting to lick the beaters and other utensils and of course to sample your baked goodies. I haven't gone way overboard or anything but I am finding out that I can tolerate a fair amount of sugar without any difficulty....may I dare to even say that I am beginning to think that I am not a dumper.....not sure that is a good thing. It is tough around the holidays with food stuff being all over the place --- at work there has been some chocolate covered raisins and nuts and it has been challenging to stay away from that stuff----on several occassions I have grabbed a handful or two.  After weeks of being on a lower carb diet, it is amazing to me how much the intake of carbs drives the desire to have more and more......surely a cycle that must be stopped before it gets out of control. I am getting more fluids lately......seems to be easier now to drink a little more and more often.  I still generally feel GREAT for the most part and I am so thankful for the opportunity to have this surgery and to get on with a life that is not controlled by food!


12/10/06

     I've had some interesting experiences this past weekend. My twins' 9th birthday was yesterday so I had 2 parties to do. I was able to have a few small forkfuls of cake at each party without any difficulty. It felt good to be able to eat that few forkfuls and feel satisfied without wanting to go back and eat the whole cake. Today at my son's party, I ate a small popcorn (about 2 cups) over a 2 hour period. I find that I can tolerate 'crunchy' foods pretty well although that scares me a little because those types of foods are generally high carb.....gotta watch that stuff. This morning I had a WOW moment when I realized that I am now able to wrap a bath towel around me and have it meet/overlap in the center!!!!!!! No more hoo-hoo hanging out all over the place!!!! Also today, I went to the mall to get pants because all of mine are WAY too big. Pre-surgery I was wearing a size 26 pants.....the 3 pair I bought today are size 20!!!!!!!!!! Another interesting experience at the mall......I passed by a stand that sells fruit smoothies (run by an Asian couple). Their sign caught my attention because it said the smoothies are non dairy and that you can also add vitamins or protein the smoothies. I noticed a huge can of GNC whey protein on the counter (unflavored).  I thought this would be cool because I have been struggling with protein lately and this would be one way to get it in, and hopefully a treat. I checked the can of protein powder and it was 20 grams per scoop. I began to worry about the sugar content of the smoothie and the guy told me that it was all 'natural' sugar with no added sugar....... Still a little worried about the sugar content as I am diabetic and have not dumped yet and don't want to dump either. Desperate for protein and wanting some variety in my diet, I decided to give it a try. I got the strawberry smoothie with the protein powder. The 'strawberry' stuff they added came out of a big container and looked like jelly. Anyway, the smoothie was absolutely delicious........about 12 ounces and I never would have known the protein was in there. I would lik to find a way to live off of those things. I took it slow at first being afraid of dumping but over the course of an hour, I finished that delicious smoothy without any problems or dumping. So, it truly was all natural sugar and not much of it or I just am not a dumper. The smoothie was sweet just like it had sugar in it. I then went to my son's party and had a few small forkfuls of the cake and the popcorn.  When I got home, my blood sugar was 155 which is really good considering the carbs in the cake/popcorn. I really don't think the smoothie had any added sugar because otherwise my sugar surely would have been higher.  Next time I go to the mall I am going to ask the folks at that stand if I can see the container the fruit stuff comes in and hopefully it will have th nutritional information so I can put my mind at ease. Sure wouldn't want to keep drinking these things if they were full of sugar (not that I go to the mall very often).  If the smoothie was truly 'all good', it was one great way to get in 20 grams of protein today!

12/8/06

      Doing ok. Total loss is 47 pounds so I am happy about that. Still struggling with meat. Also getting a little lazy some days about getting my protein.....some days I just don't feel like having a protein shake....getting kind of tired of them I guess so some days I only get 30-40 grams of protein. Other days I do just fine and get 70+. Tried some really, really moist crock pot beef mixed with mashed potatoes the other night and threw that back up. Sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason to what seems to make me vomit. It has been occurring every 3-4 days lately and each time it is something different, but always involves meat. So, I guess the meat is the common thread. The biggest problem is that I am getting bored with my limited food selections.......just get tired of canned tuna/chicken but yet too afraid to try much of anything else. I am also continuing to struggle with getting enough fluids in everyday, which to this point has NEVER happened. I do better when I am at work for some reason. Being a big drinker before surgery, I am surprised that I just have not been able to get into the practice of sipping all day long. Some days are better than others but I know I am not getting enough because I had a urine test this past week (totally unrelated to WLS) and there was a moderate amount of ketones in my urine.....a sure sign of some level of dehydration. I don't have any kind of other symptoms or anything but I am just missing the marks regarding my protein and fluid intake. But, I feel good and am losing weight. So, every day is a new opportunity to try and get it right once more.

11/23/06

       Not a very good turkey day for me. Ground up some turkey in my Magic Bullet along with some gravy and thought that would go ok but it didn't......I swallowed a few morsels, almost immediately knew it wasn't going to stay down and started with all of that salivating business....Just WHAT is with all that????? I could have never imagined that one person could manufacture so much saliva!!!! It is gross! Anyway, after about 20 minutes, everything came back up. I actually did not feel well for a few hours after that......kept feeling like something was still stuck and actually did bring up some small amounts over those few hours. I guess me and meat are just not meant to be bonding at this point!

11/20/06

       OK.......so I guess I didn't learn my lesson with the chicken. So today, for some unknown reason.......I decide to try cold shrimp.....well, needless to say, it didn't go so well. About 20 minutes after I ate 3 or 4 of them, I got that funny feeling in my chest, the saliva and then just got rid of it all!!!! And let me tell you, shrimp the second time around is NASTY!!!! Definitely ain't going there again! The good news for the day is that I am down another 4 pounds for a total of 42 pounds gone forever!!!!!!!!!

11/19/06

       Well, I decided to try the chicken again despite vowing to stay away from it.......not a good idea! I got it stuck again one night and it was stuck for hours......longer than ever before. No vomiting but alot of saliva for those hours and then it seemed to pass. The very next night I again tried chicken (How stupid am I????) and it got stuck......caused me pain and saliva for a while and then seemed to get better until 2 hours later when I took my pills......the pain returned, the saliva increased greatly and I finally just decided to get rid of it....headed to the bathroom (I was at work) and thank goodness there was a water fountain along the way because all of a sudden I experienced the foamies for the first time.....huge amounts of 'foam' came forth and the water fountain drain was the target! Went into the bathroom and threw up and instantly felt better. Oh my.....watch out for that chicken!!!!!!!!

11/14/06

      Things are going really well for me. No complications and most days I am getting my 75 grams of protein or close to it. Still working on getting that 64 ounces of fluids per day but I am getting there. Foods going ok but have had difficulty several times with scrambled eggs and real meat like chicken, no matter how moist I think it is......I will stick with canned chicken and tuna for now! I don't get any nausea or vomiting but I get a horrible pain in my chest when something gets 'stuck'...I guess that is what I am feeling......it passes after about 15-20 minutes and sometimes I get a feeling that I have excess saliva in my throat...perhaps this is what some refer to as 'the foamies' although nothing ever comes up.....I just keep swallowing until it passes. I joined Curves this morning and did my 1st workout - it felt great! I belonged to Curves several years ago when I lost about 70 pounds while doing Curves/Weight Watchers.....and then mysteriously (NOT!) I 'found' all that weight again plus a few pounds. I have seen the results from Curves before and I wanted to get back to some serious exercise and build up some lean muscle mass....there is a Curves 5 miles from my house so that works well for me. If my weight at Curves this morning was accurate, I have lost a total of 39 pounds. I usually use a scale where I work so I will have to double check it tomorrow night when I go to work....the bad news was that my body fat percentage was 45%!!!!!! Blech!!!! Be nice to see that decline! I am getting compliments from people who are now noticing my weight loss. I have one pair of pants that are not gonna be worn much longer due too how baggy they are and another pair that are on the way out too. I have several shirts that are just about too big to wear any more too! I have a friend who gave me a bunch of clothes in some smaller sizes so that has been helpful and hopefully will get me through the winter......I'll probably have to buy some pants but that is ok. I gotta get a new picture up soon!

11/2/06

      I am doing just great.......34 pounds gone forever!!!!!! I am feeling great and tolerating most foods I try. The other night I tried a few bites of turkey meatballs with some marinara sauce and that didn't go so well......I really think I didn't chew well enough but the severe pain in my chest was enough to make me give up the turkey meatball idea. I tried a cheese stick today and that didn't go so well either.......same pain. I have also found that scrambled eggs don't settle well either....no pain or anything but they feel like they just 'sit there'. Everything at this point is an experiment but that's ok. I saw the nutritionist today and of course got a lecture about not taking my vitamins and calcium. The Flintstone chewables just taste like poo and I just never got into the habit of taking them or my calcium. So, I am taking my calcium twice a day like a good girl. Still can't bring myself to chew those nasty Flintstones......I have heard of Centrum chewables and will try that. My nut also told me to get some sublingual B12 and start using that once week. I am so thankful for the ease of this journey thus far.......I do sometimes wonder just when and where something may go wrong but that really is crazy......I just slap myself back to reality when I start thinking like that and remind myself to be thankful for what I have in the here and now. My husband told me yesterday that my butt is smaller.......I think he is just buttering me up for.........we'll......you know!    :) My blood sugars are better this past week so I guess my new insulin dosing is working. I am getting tired of sticking myself 6-8 times a day for blood sugars/insulin but this too shall pass. I have at least one pair of pants that I really should stop wearing as they are VERY baggy. Other pants are feeling looser too as are many of my shirts. Feels good!

10/24/06

I saw my surgeon this morning. According to their records, my pre-surgery weight was 279 and today it was 250 --- that is 29 pounds gone.......forever!!!!!! I feel great and have had no complications. He said I am a "poster child for gastric bypass recovery". I am getting my protein in every day and he ok'd me to go back to work tomorrow. YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

10/23/06

      I saw my endocrinologist this morning for some adjustments in my diabetes meds since surgery. According to their scale, I am down 24.6 pounds since surgery 10/9/06 (this weight loss would include the 1 week pre op liquid diet). WAHOO!!!!!!!!!

10/20/06

      11 days post op and things are moving right along for me. I am able to be up and about without any abdominal binder. I can get in and out of bed and up and down from the couch on my own.   I have not taken any pain medication for 5 days. My stamina is increasing. I have taken small excursions to the drug store, grocery store, etc. I do wear out easy if I push it too hard so I stay within my limits. I have figured out how to get enough protein in without killing myself. I still don't have much of an appetite but at least now I can drink my shakes and eat my pureed foods without feeling like I am force feeding myself. I am using Unjury as my protein supplement and I figured out how to beef it up a bit so I don't have to drink as many shakes per day. I use a full scoop of the vanilla or chocolate Unjury and also add a 1/2 scoop of the unflavored Unjury to the 8 ounces of 1% milk. A few ice cubes and a packet of Splenda make a nice frothy shake that packs 38 grams of protein. Two of those a day and I am good to go. On the side, I also made some protein pudding using the Unjury which is a refreshing treat. I've had applesauce and cottage cheese and tonight had a little bit of mashed yam with a little spray butter. Tomorrow I think I will try some soup of some sort. I am feeling very positive about my recovery. I used to have some crampy pain around my pouch area at times when I would swallow/eat but today I haven't had any at all. Guess I will chalk it up to the healing process. I know I have lost weight but have no idea how much......I don't have a scale at home! I see the surgeon on 10/24 and if he gives his blessing I will go back to work on 10/25. Onward and downward in weight!

10/15/06

      I am 6 days post op and all in all had great operative experience (if there is such a thing!) I had excellent nursing care. Had surgery on Monday morning and came home by early Wednesday evening. For the first 2 days I took my liquid Lortab pretty regularly but have backed off some over the past 2 days. Morning is usually the toughest time as far as pain is concerned--everything is stiff and sore from laying all night so I take a full dose in the morning. Today, that is the only dose I have had.   As so many others do, I am having a hard time with getting anywhere near enough protein in. The first 2 days home I really didn't get much of anything (less than 20 grams). I absolutely am not hungry at all. I know I need to get it in and I am working on it slowly getting a little more each day. Yesterday I got 34 grams and today, if I drink my second shake, I will get a total of 61 grams. YEAH!!!! I just was not at all interested in the shakes the first few days. I can start pureed foods tomorrow so today, just to test the waters and dying for something 'solid' I had 4 ounces of Dannon Light and Fit Low Carb yogurt. SO GOOD!!!! Went down fine. I would just dip the spoon in and then lick it off. Took me about an hour to get it all down because I didn't want to push it but all went down and stayed down. My most bothersome symptom is a lingering 'muscle spasm' type pain I get in my left upper belly. Sometimes it just comes spontaneously and other times it comes when I swallow or shortly thereafter. No huge pain but enough to be annoying. Didn't have it asmuch today as in previous days so I guess I will just wait and see what happens with it. I also have pain in that area which I believe is due to my large abdomen pulling. I have heard of folks who buy abdominal supports to help with that and I just may do that. When I actually 'hold up' my upper abdomen and support it I don't have near the discomfort. I guess all those underlying muscles are still irritated from being cut or moved about with the laparoscopes. So, all in all, not doing so bad. I would like to be able to be up and about more and more active but I suppose that will come with time. It is hard to hear stories of folks who are up and running within a few days and here I sit watching TV all day everyday as my discomforts limit my activity. I guess a good bit of rest and relaxation is a good thing but I so BORED!

10/7/06

       Well, just 1 more day until my surgery on 10/9. I have made it through my 8 day preop liquid diet without much difficulty. Tomorrow, I can have only clear liquids plus the wonderful bottle of 'poop' medicine and a shot of blood thinner. I am very excited about the surgery and not even really nervous about it. I am just ready for this phase of the whole process to be over! My kitchen is stocked with SF applesauce, SF pudding, SF jello, cream of wheat, Carb Control yogurt and my Unjury powders. I have lost 10 pounds already just on the pre-op liquid diet. Here we go!!!! By the way, today is my 17 year wedding anniversary! Here's to many more healthier and skinnier years!

9/14/06

      I tried some Vanilla Unjury this morning and liked it. Had a funny smell that I had to get past but really didn't taste too bad. A sample packet was given to me by my program and they encouraged us to try different protein supplements prior to surgery. If I liked the Vanilla I will certainly like the chocolate so I went ahead and ordered some of the Vanilla, Chocolate and unflavored online today. Best to be prepared. I think it might be even better with a little sprinkle of Splenda added. I have to do an 8 day preop prep diet of nothing but Carnation Instant Breakfast (no sugar added) or Slim Fast High Protein. Bought some of both but haven't tried any of those yet.

I was thinking today about some of the things I am looking forward to after the surgery as I move on toward a skinnier me. I thought I would write them down so that I have them to look back on later and I can check them off my list as 'accomplished'.

1. I want to be able to wrap a bath towel around me and have it actually overlap/close.
2. I want to be able to go to an amusement park and not fear being able to fit in the seats and restraint system.
3. I want to be able to sit in an airplane seat and not worry about the fact that I am 'invading' the space of the person next to me. I also want to NOT have to use a seatbelt extender.
4. I want my knees to stop hurting when I walk up stairs.
5. I want to be able to walk through a turnstile without having to turn sideways.
6. I want to be able to get up off a chair easily.
7. I want to be able to exercise without getting short of breath.
8. I just want to feel better with more energy.
9. I want to be able to run and play with the kids.
10. I want to be able to get up off the floor without feeling like I should have a crane to help me.
11. I want to be able to go to a restaurant and not worry about scoping out how many open tables they have so I can request a table instead of a booth that I would have to squish myself into.
12. I want to shop in the normal people sections of clothing stores rather than always having to shop in the 'fat' stores or in the 'Women's Department' or the 'Plus Size Department'. I want to be able to be a clothing shopping fiend!
13. I want to be able to go into Victoria's Secret and buy myself something nice that actually fits.
14. I want to be real sex kitten for my husband.
15. I want to be able to dress comfortably and not worry about always having to cover up or mask all my lumps and bumps.
16. I want to wear a bra that actually fits right and feels comfortable.
17. I want to be able to be 'cured' of diabetes by being able to stop my Insulin and Glucophage.
18. I want the arthritis related to my lupus to improve, which I think it may do without all this extra weight to carry around.
19. I want my cholesterol, lipids, etc. to improve.
20. I want to be able to get into a car without feeling like I stuffed imyself in or having my abdomen make contact with the steering wheel.
21. I want to keep some money in my pocket.....the astronomical amount of money I now spend on the drugs to control all of the medical conditions related to my obesity.

That is enough for now....I am sure I will think of more!

9/13/06

      My lap Roux NY is scheduled for October 9th. I have jumped through all the hoops required by the program at the hospital where I will have my surgery and by the insurance company. I have been preparing for the surgery since January 06 and am thrilled to have arrived at this point. I received insurance approval within one week of my surgeon's office submitting it. Just yesterday I completed all my preop blood work, anesthesia visit, etc. Now the wait to October 9th. I am NOT looking forward to the 8 day preop liquid diet but I will endure for the greater good! I have been overweight since I was a preteen and have battled it all my life. Years ago I swore I would NEVER have gastric bypass surgery as I saw it as a sign of weakness or lack of self control. After yet another 70 pound weight loss which was all regained, I decided I'd had enough and started considering bypass surgery. I feel as if I don't have a choice. I look at this as if I have a disease and bypass surgery is the best option today to deal with the disease of obesity and for sustained weight loss. I know my life will change drastically but lots of other folks have abdominal surgery for other reasons and they make the changes they need to make and I can too, although my reasons are different. I have some supports where I work in the form of folks who have been through this. They have already given me some leftover protein they had and some clothing for my soon to be diminishing self. I am ready to go!!!!!!

Christina B.
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