M. G

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had a small fill yesterday, only .4cc to bring up to 7.8 total.  I also had a ridiculous amount of bloodwork. They are checking my thryroid, b12, protein, etc to see if they can find out why I'm not losing any weight and basically feel like crap.  My weightloss has completely stalled.  Still searching for that motivation to exercise again.....

I had another fill yesterday.  He added .6cc for a total of 7.4cc in my band.  He said we could safely go up to 10 - 12 so I still have room.  I'm at 36 lbs in 6 months.  I'm averaging about a pound a week but could be doing better if I could get back on track with exercise.  I'm either doing really well with exercise and sucking at food choices or sucking at exercise and doing really well with food choices.  Eventually I'll do both.....

I had another fill yesterday, .8 cc which gives me a total of 6.8 cc.  I only had one meal after fill and I seemed to get full very quickly.  I'm still struggling to get back to the bandster rules and eat correctly.  I always separte solids and liquids but don't always eat my solid protein first which is a big no-no.  I think my weight loss shows how much  difference logging food and following the rules will make.  I'm doing very well with my exercise its just the amount and kind of food as well as the way I'm eating it.  Once again I'm saying today is a new day, recommit and try again.  I have this thing for the rest of my life and I need to start working it, not waiting on it to work for me...... 

On the up side, my life is changing for the better.  I can see more of my true personality coming through.  The one I had before I had an extra 80lbs to cover it up.  My husband and I are at a better place in our marriage than we have ever been.  I think we are falling in love all over again.  We bought a motorcycle and are making time for just the two of us.  We took the kids camping last week and I was actually doing cannonballs with my kids off the side of the pool.  Normally I'm so uncomfortable in a swimsuit I just lay there and watch.  I even had them take pictures of us(and in a bathing suit!!!)  Then we played volleyball.  Boys against girls, we got our butts kicked but I still played....in public, at a crowded campground, with people watching, and I didn't feel like they were staring and laughing at the fat girl trying to run!  (OK they probably were at the whole cannonball thing but I was having fun with my kids and I really didn't care if they were because we were all laughing at me too.  I did look a little funny!)  I would never had done before....  I'm determined to make this work for me.  Life is too short to just sit by and watch....I'm ready to start playing again! I wish I had this done sooner.....

My weight loss has basically come to a stand still.  I've lost and gained the same 2 lbs for the last 3 weeks.  I've been hovering around the 30 lb loss mark and can't seem to get past it. 

I have very little, if any, restriction and I'm struggling to make good food choices but staying on track for the most part. 

I'm doing extremely well with exercise.  I've built up to the advanced program on my elliptical which is a 30 minute workout and burns 560 calories.  3 - 4 times a week I do the 30 minute elliptical, walk 1 - 2 miles on my breaks at work, and do strength training exercises.

I went jogging for the first time in my life yesterday!!!  I jogged for one mile, ( I had to slow down to a speedwalk 3 times but only for about 30 seconds each time) and walked one mile! 

I keep waiting for the scale to move and have even kicked a couple of times just to try and show it who is boss but like my teenagers, it doesn't listen to me either! 

My next fill appointment is 8/1/08.  I pray I will get to that sweet spot soon....

I finally started exercising yesterday!!  20 min cardio 20 min strength training. Same thing today plus an extra mile long walk.  I logged my food today but went over my calories.  Maybe tomorrow I can get my food intake under control.  Aunt Flo will be here before long so I'm having these horrible cravings.  I really want to be able to say I've lost 30 lbs in the 3 months since surgery.  I'll have to lose 2.4 lbs by next Tuesday.  Its my own mini-challenge!

I had my fourth fill yesterday and can definately tell a difference today.  I asked Dr Kramer about the possibility of a leak because the nurse practitioner didn't pull out as much as was supposed to be in there.  He said in the new low pressure bands you can't usually pull all the fluid out.  He added another cc to put me up to 6. I am definately eating less than before but I wouldn't say it is real restriction.  Hopefully I will get the scale moving again.  I have done better with the diet this week but can't seem to get back into the habit of logging everything and still haven't started exercising.  I'm going to exercise tomorrow!!!!  At least I can finally tell I have a band.  I was beginning to wonder.....

Wheww!!  I have actually managed to lose a couple of pounds but I honestly don't see how.  First of all, I feel like I have less restriction now than I did before my last fill.  The nurse practitioner (sp) did this last fill (June 6th) instead of Kramer.  According to Kramer I was supposed to have had 3cc the first time and 1.5cc the second time.  She does the fill and says "I added half a cc, that should put you a little over 4."  Huh??  I'm no Einstein but 3 + 1.5 = 4.5 + whatever you just put in should equal more than "a little over 4."  I question her about it and she said I only had 3.8cc to start with.  I'm not sure who to believe, her or Kramer, but in any case I took my little over 4 and left pissed off over having driven 90 one way for a half cc fill. I'm even more pissed about it today because I have even less restriction than before and I have to wait the full 2 weeks for my next fill.  You can bet Kramer will do them from now on. I go on Wed June 25th.  I'm going to ask for him to be more agressive with the fills since I have to drive so far.  

Another reason for my recent struggles....
My Granny has been hospitalized since June 9th.  She is 84 and after 60+ years of smoking her lungs are in horrible shape and she developed pneamonia(sp).  They tried to treat her with steriods which caused a psychosis on top of the confusion from mild dementia that is agravatted by her illness and oxygen deprivation from the lung disease.  I ended up spending several nights sleeping in a recliner beside of her bed and going to work the next day.  I think I logged about 6 hours sleep the entire first week.  We had to have her moved because the first hospital she was in was terrible. No improvement in her condition, but decreased her breathing treatments and took her off IV antibiotics????!!!!!  Within hours of being transferred to the 2nd hospital she was being treated by a lung specialist.  By the third there she was finally starting to improve and I started sleeping my own bed.  It was hard emotionally.  My grandmother has always been a beautiful, sophisticated woman.  I know she is getting older but I just never imagined I would be changing her diapers.  

It is hard to diet when you are living on hospital food, fast food, vending machine food, etc.  I didn't have time to cook so lunch at work was usually junk too.  I had no restriction, massive amounts of stress, fatigue and frustration.  Everything that went into my mouth was bad.  I ate just like I did before I had surgery.  Long Johns, Hardees, hotdogs, chips, even had THREE pieces of cake!!!  THREE....MY GOD COULD I NOT HAVE STOPPED AT ONE!!!!  

We have her in a pulmonary rehab facility now.  Hopefully she will improve enough to come home.  Her mental status has greatly improved as well.  Its right beside of my WLS office so it is a 90 minute drive.  I hope she understands why I'm not there every day. 

I have not exercised since she went in the hospital and have not had time to log in here daily for support or inspiration.  

Today I'm recommiting myself.  I'm going to log my food and get back on track with my exercise.    I didn't go through this surgery to stay fat.  I guess I just need a good swift kick in the butt!  I hope someone here will read my profile and give me just that kick!!

I finally hit 25 lbs!!!!  181.8 this morning!

I have had five...count 'em "5" people tell me to go buy some new jeans this week!  Almost all of jeans come from Old Navy and now I don't have to unbutton or unzip to pull them down.  I now have 3 pairs of pants that I couldn't wear before that are way to loose on me now.  I also wore a shirt that I wore to my DD high school graduation 2 years ago.  I had to wear a body slimmer under it then.  It has always been too tight around my lower stomach.  Now it fits perfect!  I'm trying to wait to buy anything until I go down 2 sizes and I think that will take another 5 lbs or so.  I go in for my third fill today so I thought I might do a little browsing just to see what size I might fit into.  

As of this morning I'm down 24.8 lbs.  My 2 month surgiversary is in two days.  Maybe that .2 pounds will disappear and I can hit the 25 pound mark.  I have really sucked at exercise this week even though I pledged more this month than last.  I changed my work schedule and started my 10 hour days.  Getting up an hour and half earlier is really kicking my ass.  Hopefully I will do better over the weekend.  I have been pretty good on the calorie count this week with just a few minor slips.

Hopefully after today I will be restricted on my problem foods...bread and pasta...I've had both this week in larger quantities than what I should and had no problem getting them to go through.  I'm ready for that restriction!!!

This no restriction thing is getting the best of me!  I can eat anything I want, as fast as I want, and probably as much as I want.  I'm still struggling to stay at that one cup per meal.  Its just hard to stop eating when you are still hungry.  I'm getting sooooo frustrated.  I called to come in earlier for another fill.  I go to see the NP on the 6th so I hope maybe this third fill will be the charm!

I did finally drop another pound this morning.  I need to lose .4 more pounds to have a 5 lb loss for May.  If I can continue at 5 lbs per month I will be at goal by next summer.  I've been dieting for almost 3 months and I'm ready to fall completely off the wagon like I normally do after 2-3 months and 20lbs.  I hope with this next fill I can gain a little momentum and bump up that weight loss.