deb K.

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I had my Sleeve on January 8th.  Aside from being down 26 pounds and feeling really good, I have noticed something that I did not have with the Lap Band.  Normally I have to tweeze the hairs on my chin and upper lip EVERY day, every other day at the VERY most.  I tweezed the day after I got home and I went to go do it today after going longer than I usually do and I found there was NO hair to tweeze?  All the chinny hairs are not coming back so far!  Wondering if it is a shift in my hormones.  Obviously a good one, as far as I am concerned!  I have not noticed any increase in hair loss on my head.  So it's not that.  And my complexion looks really good!  My little zitty things are gone.  My color has pinked up from the pale I was right after surgery but the splotchiness  uneven color I was before the surgery is gone.  It looks more smooth and even.  The little whiteheads on my cheeks are gone.  The flaky skin around the creases in my nose is gone.  I look younger. Its crazy.  Must be all the protein and all the water I have been drinking. Whatever it is, I'm loving it.  I will be going back to work on Feb 9 and I bet they will notice a change.:-)  I have been reading other peoples posts on this and other sites and I feel so grateful that I am doing so well.  I know some people have a harder time with this surgery than I am having and I know that they are losing slower so I am extra grateful for that.  I am blessed

Well, it has been a crazy 7 years.  I did really good with the band until about 2011.  I started to have autoimmune symptoms.  After being worked over by a fine tooth comb, it was decided that the Lap Band was the cause of the symptoms so it was removed.  Good catch because within a month the symptoms were gone.  I had swelling of the joints, pain, and synovial fluid was building up at the tendons and actually eating away at them!  What caused us to finally remove the band was some fine print on like page 14 of the brochure that comes with the band.  It said basically that if you or anyone in your family have ever had any auto immune disorders that you should not have the band installed.  And if you exhibit any auto immune symptoms after the band is installed then the band should be removed asap.  So we did.  

I did pretty good on my own for over a year.  kept all but about 15 pounds of the total I lost, off.  ( I think I lost a total of 55 pounds)  Then November 17, 2013 came.  The house that I was in, was totally destroyed by a tornado.  And we were in a closet when it hit.  I was not injured physically but mentally I was devastated.  My husband and I lost everything.  Even out vehicle.  2 weeks after the tornado hit, the site was covered with 17 inches of snow and it didn't melt until April.  I was plunged into a deep depression and we both suffered from PTSD.  Living in hotels and eating out for 10 months takes a real toll on a body and in very short order I had gained back every ounce I lost.  I went back to Dr. Cacucci and asked her for help.  January 8th I had Gastric Sleevectomy.  I am only 9 days out and down 20 pounds.  So far I find the recovery from the Sleeve to be MUCH easier than the band!  WHODAUTHUNKIT!

I don't have the heartburn or the nausea and the excruciating hunger pangs that i had with the band in the beginning.  Crossing fingers.  Things are going well.  I only had a couple of brief waves of nausea when I ate a little too fast or when I swallowed one of my pills, and it passed in a couple of minutes.  I only get nauseous if I swallow to big a gulp.  But it passes.  And as far as incision pain goes, it has been VERY minimal.  Doctor Cacucci used the Davinci Robot on me for surgery and I am wondering if because it is so precise, it helped minimize my pain.  IDK.   I have been walking 30 minutes a day since about 5 days out.  Either at the gym on the treadmill...  really slow at 2 mph, or outside if its not too cold.  First few days was spent walking a path around the house at least 4 times a day for 10 minutes each.  Keeping active helps me get back to normal MUCH faster.  I AM starting to find that I want to eat more than I should and having to fight the desire.  I think the fact that I am so active already might be fueling this desire to eat.  I am sticking to the diet I was giving and making sure I get my protein shakes and water in, too.  I REALLY want this to work.  When I get it off this time, it is NOT coming back.  EVER.

It’s been a while since I checked in regarding my Lap Band surgery.  I had my 3 month checkup last Friday.  According to Dr. Cacucci I am doing fantastic.  I am down 43 pounds and wearing a size 14/16 slacks.  A far cry from my biggest size of 22/24W.  My blood pressure at the doctor’s office was 117/65!  Doesn’t get much better than that.  I don’t take anything except nutritional supplements and I feel better than I have in years.  Except my back is hurting me today.  Ever since I walked that 2 miles at Jackson Morrow Park, my back has ached and the front of my thighs tingles.  I know it is from my back and I probably inflamed something by pushing harder than I should for my first time back in over a year.  My bad...  I REALLY hope this settles down.  It reminds me of the horrible pain I had before my back surgery last July. 

I have had one fill in the band.  I thought I was gonna get another one last Friday but Dr. Cacucci said rather than give me another fill and risk over filling, she wanted me to try to eat more solid proteins.  I am doing that and I do find that I eat less.  I have reached my first goal.  I am officially in Onederland.  I haven’t had a one in front of the other two numbers in over 30 years!  I used to get  close but I always choked.  It was some kind of mental block for me and I have finally broken through it. 

I had my first yucky stuck feeling last night.  I was maowing down on some pita chips and I was just stuffing them in without thinking.  All of a sudden I couldn’t swallow the mouthful I had.  And I felt like I was gonna puke.  It was so intense that I actually pulled the trash can over in from of me to catch the barf.  It never did come back up but I know I would have felt better if it had.  My whole esophagus felt loaded and HURT.  My tummy where the band was, hurt like hell, too.  It REALLY sucked.  I won’t be doing that again for a while, I can tell you that.  I don’t even think I can make myself eat another pita chip, which might be a good thing ’cause I was starting to snack on them like I used to tortilla chips.  That was a BAD HABIT creeping back up on me and I needed to stop anyway.  Last night will probably do it!  LOL!  I am losing much slower now.  I am getting into some OLD fat that has been there for 30 years and my body is fighting me tooth and nail.  I think I will increase the protein and water and exersize, (as soon as the back heals.)  I am told that is the formula to bust a stall.  I am not really at a bad stall yet, but the doctor warned me that I was close.  She said that in 25 more pounds, I will be considered a clinical success.  Because to be a clinical success I needed to lose 70% of my excess weight and 25 more pounds will put me there.  She is VERY happy with me and said I was one of her best losing band patients.  I still want to reach my goal of 100 pounds off by December 26th, 2008.  I WILL reach that goal.  That will put my BMI somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-22 percent.  I am encountering people who are telling me that I can’t reach that goal, that I wouldn’t look good or feel good and I would look too old.  Well, hell, I AM old...  What’s so bad about looking it?  I am more interested in FEELING GOOD.  I know I can reach that goal.  And I don’t think it’s too extreme for me.  I am only 5"3.  To weight 140 pounds is certainly NOT too skinny!  Come on now!  LOL... I  I love it when people tell me I can’t do something..  That just makes me MORE determined to do it!  :-)

I am feeling more alive than I have in years and I am starting to do stuff that I was too tired to mess with or too self conscience to do.  The problem I have now is that my husband can’t keep up with me! 

Gotta go for now.  I’m sleepy!

Have a good one!

Well, I did it!  I now weight 199!  No more "2" in front!  I haven't seen that in THIRTY years!  This has been a HUGE thorn in my side for years.  And A HUGE milestone that has eluded me time and time again.  I have gotten SO close..  Within a couple pounds..  and always choked.  I think I had a mental block.  I really do.  I get to this general weight and people, ESPECIALLY MEN, start to notice and I get get scared and choke!  I think I subconciously sabotaged myself because I couldn't handle the attention.  I have been talking about this with my fabulous counselor, Bob.  I realized several years ago that I had this block thing when I started finding myself feeling more anxious as I started showing my weight loss the LAST time I tried dieting.  I began to realize the connection but I was still unable to get myself under control and did re-gain everything I lost and then some.  This time I wanted to make sure I got to my first goal and got OVER the hump and didn't choke.  I DID IT!  And if FEELS GREAT!  I know I am still fat but I feel so good!  I can't imagine how I am going to feel in ANOTHER 41 pounds!  When I stepped on that scale and saw the number 1-9-9 I jumped for joy and hollared WHOOO HOOO so loud I know my husband could hear me.. And he knew why I was whoo hoo-ing.  :-)  He says he is proud of me and I believe him.  Next goal:  175.  Haven't been there since 1972! 

Well, I went out to a club Saturday night,for the first time in probably 10 years.  I met some old friends that I hadn't seen in 20 years!  It was a 50th birthday party.  Everyone carried on about how good I looked and how "skinny" I was.  (not hardly but whatever)  I even got called a skinny bitch....  (lovingly...  )    Mind you, I have a bunch of weight left to still lose, but I do have a good start on it.  The best part was I got hit on by a pretty nice looking guy ( who was about 10 years younger than me!)  not 5 minutes after I walked in the place!  He walked right up to me and said, "You are HOT"  I said, "Thanks, I'm married!"   I could have died of embarrassment but secretly I was jumping for joy!    I am happily married but I have to admit it felt REALLY good to get noticed for the RIGHT reasons for a change..  Used to be, I would get smart remarks and once I even got a snorting pig noise as I walked past a group of grown men standing by the bar. ( I thought I had outgrown that bulls**t when I left high school!)  I NEVER got asked to dance...  I was the purse minder for my girlfriends when they got asked.  I got asked last night but only danced with my girls cause I have a good man at home.. 

When I left home to go to the party, My hubby walked past me, stopped, and turned around and said,  "You look SEXY!  Why don't you be a little late to the party?"  (wink wink).. 

This feels much better than anything could ever taste! 

Wow, all of a sudden people are coming out of the woodworks to tell me I look good!  I had a couple girls at work come up to me to ask me how much weight I had lost.  When I told them, they complimented my on my success and told me I was looking good.  My General Foreman called me "skinny"!    So did my Mill Wright!  My husband told me tonight that I was "lookin' FINE"! This morning he told me he could REALLY see the weight coming off and that I looked great.  All this in one day!  I was like, what is up with this?  Am I about to die or something?    It felt really good and yet a part of me felt kinda weird about it.  Taking compliments is somewhat uncomfortable to me.  I am not used to it.  I was always the invisible one.  The only attention I ever attracted was the negative kind..  This is NEW..  and it gonna take some getting used to.  I had 2 men come up and talk to me today that I didn't even know.  I had seen them around the plant, but they never noticed me before now.  WEIRD..  It's all weird to me right now.  I am at the weight now that eveyr 5 pounds gone is gonna look like 25 pounds gone used to look.  The smaller I get the more it shows.  So I guess I better get used to this.  I am only down 31 pounds and I still have 69 to go!  I can't imagine what THAT is going to bring!  I DO apprecite all the kind words of support, though.  It means a lot  to me that others can see the hard work I have been doing, even though, for me, it's more about the health issues.   Looking better is just icing on the cake. 

I was engaged in a discussion with someone about emotional baggage.  I know that I have TONS of it but I am aware of it and working on it as we speak.  Thank God I have a wonderful counselor.  He is helping me look at my past and how it relates to my weight.  I have used my fat to insulate myself from pain, to keep myself under the radar and invisible to anyone who would hurt me.  It was a survival thing for me.  I have used food as a drug to help me cope with the crippling anxiety I felt as a kid, as an adult.  I was subjected to physical and mental abuse as a child.  I was sexually assaulted as a young woman.  I have been divorced twice, married an alcoholic, watched a husband commit suicide.  Lots of issues that contributed to my obesity.  What is it they say...  awareness is half the battle won...  At least  now I realize the connection between my tumultuous life and the fact that I have been obese since I was 6.  I am working on healing that little 6 year old.  And loving her like she deserves.  That is why I KNOW this time I will be successful and happy for the first time in my life! 

I have to cope with the new attention now.   I have to remember that it has no other ulterior motive other than to give me credit for a job well done.  I deserve it and I am learning to stop fearing it and learn to embrace it.  I think this will be harder that actually losing the weight!  In the past, I have reached this weight and the attention started and I back tracked because it became too uncomfortable for me.  It scared me.  I didn't know how to deal with it.. And with the irrational fears about it.  It made me feel vunerable and unprotected, really out there and open to pain... to creeps...   to situations I couldn't control...  to not being able to control myself...    Oh, I am such a hot, steaming mess o' me..  But I am learning.... 

I actually got my first fill today! I was almost as nervous about the fill as I was the surgery! I've been here for months, reading all the first fill horror posts and I was so scared I was gonna experience that! I admit it, I'm a wuss.. Anyway, it went GREAT. When I laid back on the big pillow, my little buddy popped right up and Dr. Caccuci was able to access her on the first poke. I didn't feel anything but some pressure. When she had me sit up to drink some water and make sure it was going down okay, she said, "don't look down." LOL! I guess so I wouldn't see the stuff hanging out of my tummy! LOL! I just giggled and sipped.. The whole thing took like 10 minutes. Didn't need a floro. Before we started she said to me that sometimes she has to use the floro for first fills, especially ones this early out, due to fluid still around the healing port site. But apparently I don't have much fluid around my port. And not a lot of loose skin around the area, so I got lucky and she was able to hit it first poke! All I felt was a little pressure. The numbing shot didn't even hurt, as my site is still numb from the surgery. My port incision runs right along side an old gallbladder scar and the nerves there were already damaged, thus not much feeling, but not much pain either! Worked out good for me! Anyway, the fill was quick and smooth and tonight I am feeling fine. I'll be on fluids for 24 hours and mushies for 24 hours and then back to solids as tolerated. Also I am down 30 pounds and 15.5 inches! Wooo Hooo! That is in roughly 7 weeks. I'm loving my band! And my doc!

I am feeling MUCH better! 

I actually walked on the treadmill the full 45 minutes last night and felt fine.  My tummy and bowels are back to normal.  Researching constipation, I discovered that taking calcium without magnesium can cause constipation!  Imagine that!  And I am chewing TWO calcium pills a day, (per the DR.) Seems like I did start having more problems around the same time.  So today I went to Sunspot Natural Foods and bought some liquid cal+mag+vit D.  Tastes like CRAP!  But I can get it down.  It's a tablespoon a day.  That will save me having to chew more pills at lunch at work.  Since I don't want to mix the multi vits with the calcium  (per nutritionist)  I will do the calcium in the evening and the vits in the morning.  We'll see  how that works.  I checked out some more liquid vitamins while I was there.  I kinda liked the looks of the Ultra Source or Life liquid vitamins and mineral.   It had lutein in it and I need that for my eyes.  But it also had a bunch of herbs and stuff in it that I am not too sure about.  How come they just can't make a good liquid vit with minerals, omega 3's and 6's, calcium and lutein and lycopene and NONE of the other crap?     I'll keep looking..

I'm trying to whittle down the amount of pills I have to take.  Since I am down to one REAL medicine pill a day, the less I have to mess with the better.  Hard to imagine at one time I was taking 10 pills a day of med and another 8 of supplements.  What a pain that was!  And costly, too!

I got some compliments the other day.     I went to go do my monthly pottasium blood test.  The lady who does my draw hadn't seen me since last month.  She just about dropped over when I walked in.  She kept going on and on about how good I looked and how much I had lost!  It made me feel REALLY good!  I'm glad someone else can see it!  :-) 

Talk to ya all soon!

I got a wicked stomach flu the other day.  I woke up at 5 am feeling like I could puke my guts up but nothing would come out.  This was my BIG tummy wanting to puke, not my little pouch.  As I threw my legs off to the side of the bed, to get up, I actually lost control of my bowls right there on my bed!  How horrible was that!?  I proceeded to spend the next 8 hours basically, in the johh.  I had diarrhea so bad that I was going every 3 or 4 minutes for over an hour and when it finally started to slow down, I was pooping clear water!  I have NEVER seen that before!  I was totally empty!  And my bowels and tummy were still twisting and cramping.  I felt like complete shit.  And the worst part was my tummy was so swollen from the spasms that you could actually see it bulge out through my skin!  And my band hurt!  I could feel the band and the pressure around it.  I got really dehydrated because i was so swollen that I couldn't swallow water fast enough to keep up.  Every tiny mouthful pooled at the bottom of my throat.  It would go down but it took a long time.  My head started hurting and I started running a high fever because I was getting so dehydrated.  (101.8)  I called the nurse to see if there was anything that could go wrong with the band that would cause this and she assured me i most likely had a stomach virus.  When I started spiking a temp, I called the answering service and Dr. Cacucci called me back.  (She happened to be the one on call that evening.  Cool!)  She was very sweet and talked to me about getting fluids in and she also said she thought I had a virus.  She said her kids had something like this recently.  She said if I got worse to call her in the morning.  I imagine she would have sent me to the ER to get some IV fluids.  This morning I woke up and peed and noticed that my pee was REALLY dark.  My temp was 100.9.  I started drinking right away and immediately noticed that my band had loosened up considerably.  And my tummy wasn't so swollen.  I stepped on the scales and saw that I had lost 5 pounds from the day before so I KNEW I was seriously dehydrated.  I drank 2-20oz bottles of water and one of my grand daughter's baby juice boxes.  Then I ate a cup of oatmeal.  It went down fine and I immediately felt 100 times better...  I checked my temp again and it was down to normal and this evening I have gained back 2 of the 5 pounds I had lost yesterday and frankly I am FINE with that!  I was alarmed at how quickly the numbers were dropping.  I couldn't stay off the scales as I was so amazed.  The lower it got the worse I felt and I knew I better get to drinking soon..    I missed two days of work.  I NEVER miss work.  So you know I had to feel like HELL!  Thank God I am almost back to normal.  I was on total clear fluids yesterday and only water and popcicles all day.  Today I had the oatmeal, a protein bar and some scrambled eggbeaters and 1/4 slice of dry toast for supper.  I think I will keep it soft tomorrow too, just to be on the safe side.  My poor tummy has been through hell.  Dr. Cacucci said that my big tummy wanted to puke but couldn't because of the band and therefore it spasmed.  I guess usually when a bandster pukes, it's the pouch that wants to empty out, NOT the big tummy.  THIS was UGLY.  And the feeling of tightness and way the fluid pooled in the base of my throat really felt weird and uncomfortable but apparently it was "normal" considering what my tummy was going through.  I wonder if this is what being "too tight" feels like, or if this is what "good" restriction feels like...  'cause it did go down, but it took a minute or two and it was just a tiny sip!  If that is good restriction, I will NEVER get my pills down once I get my first fill!  (I didn't take anything while I was sick.  Since they are all vits and suppliments, I didn't think I wanted to stress my tummy out with it that day.)

Anyway, I lived through it.  And hopefully it will be business as usual tomorrow.  I didn't walk in the treadmill for the last two days.  I spent the last two days in bed, getting better.  I kinda miss it.  I plan to walk tomorrow but instead of 45 minutes I will do 30 and at 3.0 instead of 3.5-4.0 and work back up again.  I got pretty dehydrated so I think I will give my old bod a chance to catch up.. 

I went to my nephew's wife's baby shower yesterday.  It was nice to see my family again.  I live about 50+ miles north of everyone else so we don't see each other much.  And since my parents both died, it is even less.  We had some bumpy roads when my father was ill and it nearly tore what family I had, apart, forever.  I am so glad that is all past us now.  At least I think it is.  I know it is for me because it causes too much stress and I don't need any extra stress in my life.  Who does?  Family is family.  The four of us siblings are basically all that we have left.   (That and each of our families, our spouses and kids.)   I was nervous because this was the first time anyone has seen me since surgery.  I don't know why I care about stuff like that anymore but I do.  NOT with anyone else...  just with my family...  crazy, huh?  Everyone noticed I had lost some weight.  That was good.  (I'm down 25 pounds now and it has been a month yesterday)  I am slowly reaching that weight where every 5 pounds is gonna start showing.  I have been here before so I know that to be true.  The first 20 doesn't show much.  (When I was heavier, years ago, it took almost FOURTY pounds before anyone even started to notice.  THAT was so discouraging but I never gave up.  I  knew what I had achieved and I knew that soon it would be evident.  I knew how I FELT physically and that was the MOST important thing to me at the time..  So it was all good....  But it WAS harder to go on without any encouraging words from friends and coworkers.  I know I shouldn't be that way but I was/am..  I am human, ya know...  with all the human weaknesses...   

Anyway, my niece was there.  She had the surgery I think last summer or the summer before.  She did VERY well with it and I thnk she said she lost 60 pounds in 6 months!  GREAT JOB!  She has battled her weight a lot of her adult life, as others in our family have.  I could really see a difference in her overall size and especially in her face.  This is the first time I have seen her since my father's funeral, I think.  Maybe one other time.  I am getting old and can't remember as well..  LOL!   She said she got a stomach virus, started puking and developed LOTS of problems with her band..  She had really bad reflux and stuff and had to have all the fluid removed from her band recently, to let her stomach heal.  She had just gotten her first re-fill a few days before the party and had to go back the next day to get some taken out.  She was on clear liquids at the party.  I felt sorry for her because I know how miserable it feels when your tummy is yanked up.  I had a little taste of that in the beginning but nothing like what she was going through.  I knock on wood that I have had no problems since then but I know something could come up at any time.  And I felt guilty that I was doing good now.  My other niece in law didn't help when she made over me and then asked my niece what happened to her.  The way she said it made me feel bad about doing good and bad for my other niece.  I know, (at least I hope..  I don't know her very well) she meant no harm but I really felt bad for my niece.  She has had such a hard time, from what I hear, and she has REALLY done SO WELL.  I am proud of her for making the decision to have the surgery.  That takes courage.  And I am proud of her that she has not given up on herself or her band.  That would be easy to do.  I really hope she hangs in there and continues to move past this rough road and back onto the fast track to her goals.  I hope that once her stomach heals she will feel as good as she did in the beginning.  She has some health issues, as I have, and she is too young to have to deal with that.  I am rooting for you, Lisa.  You go girl!