corpseflower

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Not yet feeling so good, still very sore, not yet gone without pain meds...or rather try to but can not, become very painful if longer than 6 or 8 hrs without it...when will this stop! I was not prepared for open surgery.
My g-tube finally fell out on its own last week, but that has also been painful, although more comfortablke out than in, the site is very sore. and still sorta drippy and not closed. I go to doctor tomorrow and he will look at it.
But yeah not super thrilled so far with all this...not seeing the results yet. and still have diabetes, although alot lower blood sugars, still on insulin.
Have dumped twiced...once on sweet potatoe and once on mashed potatoes...weird...everyone says they loved their mashed potatoes...I get sick.
I live on alot of crab salad made in food processor. low fat olive mayo and crab meat.
also find it easier to eat the protein bars than drink the nasty shakes. snickers marathon bar is my favorite thus far.
I am now 243 lbs from 265 lbs.

Surgery Monday at 10 am now...was 1pm was moved up a bit. Nervous, but very ready..ready as ever will be. I got the last of my "supplies" tonight. some protein powders and lots of liquids for after.
I can't wait til this is over and I am out of hospital and home. Hospitals make me very anxious...already have anxiety on any regular day.
I am trying to look past the possible bad pain, and what if's and maybe's....and look forward to the new beginnings.

my last pre op Dr. appt today went very well, and I am on for the surgery. still have to do my EGD, then set.
I have been watching all the or as many as I can weight loss you tube videos.
If you have not looked on you tube, there is a big weight loss surgery community on there...and a good person to look up is massagegoddess, she is wonderful and will be linked to alot of the other community members.
I am all set on knowledge but still so nervous, fear of the not known, and what if's....but I know its foolish to dwell on those things, becuase nothing in life can really be planned.
I bought a lovely goal dress and hung it on my bedroom door so when I get down I have something bright and pretty to look forward to....its a red dress, and I hope it fits by Christmas!
If anyone out there would like to chat or even snail mail for fun, let me know!

I got a date for Aug 3. 2009 seems so long yet soooo close. I had decided to do this last year and backed out, so it has taken me almost 2 years to get to this point...but I am here approved and have a date...can you believe it!

My doctor is John Maguire and my surgery will be RNY.

I am so nervous, but excieted.