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Today I am keenly aware that refined sugar and white flour are the triggers for my compulsive overeating and cravings.  Since Lent began, I have refrained from eating anything made from refined sugar or white flour and I can honestly say that over time the cravings do dissipate.  I've lost close to 25 pounds and try to swim at least three times per week for exercise.  I feel much better about myself.  And I feel in control.  

It's been five years since last used this website for accountability.  I have a full life with a beautiful four year old daughter, a husband, and thriving businesses that keep us busy.  But the stresses of life trigger addictive tendencies and my compulsive eating reared its ugly head.  I have only gained 15 to 20 pounds from my lowest weight after surgery; however, since I never quite reached my post surgery goal in the first place, I've been struggling with the numbers.  Over the past five years I have opened two restaurants with my husband, had a child, all while maintaining my full time government job.  To say that I am busy is an understatement and exercise and healthy eating dropped to the bottom of my priority list.  I felt pain everyday in my knees and back, and had no energy.  One month ago I decided to face the reality that refined sugar and white flour trigger compulsive eating tendencies in my body.  I must come to terms with this reality and stop fighting it.  Stop being angry about it.  Stop.  So I cut these items out of my daily food intake.  My compulsions to overeat are going away and I feel physically much better.  My plan is to also reconnect to this website for strength and inspiration.  If you pray, please say one for me.  

Today is my 3 year anniversary.  I am grateful for the weight I lost.  I have not met goal weight but possibly never will and I have accepted that.  Today my husband and I discovered that after 4 months of trying, I am pregnant.  We are very excited.  I never thought my life would bring me to this point.  I had accepted the wonderful role of Aunt to 5 wonderful neices and nephews and really never wanted children...until I met my husband.  Now the wonderful journey begins....

I think I am having PMS.  My husband and I have been trying to conceive since June.  I am tired and listless.  I am not sure I see the benefit today in using this blog.  I am not sure anyone reads it...no one responds.  I look at other profiles and not sure how all the communication flows so much.  I feel sorry for myself today.  I did not follow my food plan this week. 

Day 2 of my new food plan from the nutritionist.  I am amazed to report that I had no chocolate yesterday!!!  Actually I had no refined sugar at all and I felt it at about 5:30 pm yesterday afternoon.  The oreo 4 pack was screaming my name.  My new food plan consists of:

Breakfast - 2 servings of protein, one milk, one fruit
Snack - 1 protein, one veggie
Lunch - 3 proteins, 1 starch, 2 veggies, 2 fats
Snack - 2 proteins, 1 starch, 1 fruit
Dinner - 3 proteins, 1 starch, 2 veggies, 2 fats
Snack - 1 protein, 1 starch, 1 fruit

servings of protein are usually 1 oz of meat, starches and veggies are usually 1/2 cup measurements.  Ironic that this food plan is exactly what I used 10 years ago when I did a strict weigh and measure program with overeaters anonymous.  We used the ADA food guide then as well.  It worked then when I followed it strictly.  I know it will work now too. 

Yesterday I met with a nutritionist who recommended I weigh and measure my portions on a 3 meal, 3 snack daily diet at 1500 calories a day.  Being 3 years post surgery, I am sad to report that my weight is 275.  I did not realize I had gained weight since my lowest measurement of 252.  I am determined to achieve a goal weight of 225.  

Yesterday I made my way back to my surgeon's office in Washington DC and went to the support group.  A wonderful mix of pre-and post-surgery patients.  I discovered that I was the "oldest" and admitted that I was returning because I fell off the wagon.  I have not gained but definitely abandoned the support group and strict adherence to food plan mentality.  I was glad to see fellow WLS patients and share about my experiences.  I also made a connection with a nutritionist and will make an appointment for next week.  What's wonderful is that my husband is so supportive of getting on a food plan!  I also went to a local support group in the evening, which was wonderful.  I feel motivated and more cognizant of the choices I make in the kitchen!!

Today I am working at home.  It's hot, almost 90 degrees in southern Maryland.  In an effort to open up the house and get some fresh air circulating, we turned off the AC and opened the windows.  It was great for several low humidity days but whew...today is a hot one.  I am almost ready to crank on the AC again. 

I have been cooking with more fresh foods this week.  Last night I made curry chicken stir fry with red peppers, mushrooms, brocolli, carrots and onion over rice.  I have to limit the rice.  I was wonderful.

I also have been eating tomatoes and corn since they are so readily available at the farmer's markets now. 

Exercise is still on the forefront of my challenges. 

Today I feel great.  The weather is wonderful, unusually cool for southern Maryland in August.  Yesterday I got my hair trimmed for the first time in many months.  It felt wonderful to do something for me.  I am excited about moving forward in my recovery from compulsive eating and utilizing the tool of my WLS. 

Today I am really trying to be aware of my eating habits, how often I "snack" when I am working at home.  I work from home two days per week and when I get bored, I tend to snack.  My husband and I are also trying to eat more fruit.  Watermelon is my favorite!