Michelle Forth

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It has been 2 years and boy is it tuff!! I feel so alone in this journey.. I havent lost in a while so i figure this is where I am at and wont get smaller until I can afford to have skin removed.. But I am soo happy I had the surgery.. I just want to make sure I dont gain weight back.. Size 10 is ok i was a 28 so i did ok for doing it alone.  I can not get a Bariatric  doctor to help me here in florida since I had my surgery in Michigan.. so that stinks...support groups are over an hour away:( But I will survive..

weight 167. size 10.. bought my 1st little black dress.  I am scared to gain the weight back so i dont even know what to eat anymore.. i am tired all the time but i make sure i keep going... all and all doing well

I keep flexing between 171 and 174 size 10-14 (14 veryyyy loose)  but i just dont do as i should. . christmas is around the corner and more depression,  i need to get active and get my butt moving,,
sorry everyone this is where i vent to myself and put down my thoughts

weight 176  My hightest weight was 318  I am down 142 lbs,  This is good but I dont eat right and i am soo scared of eating to much  i probably graze instead of eating  like i should  have dont protein drinks  since i left my ex in feb,  that was the start of my stand still,  depression!!! I think to much,  I think of all the mistakes I have made  especially since the surgery, what would my life b like if I didnt have the surgery?  would I have left my husband(ex) ?  would I be happy?  WOuld I have support that I soo desperately need now?   I started as a size 28   I am now in some14,12,10's mostly 12s  my legs n belly are still big  I look old!!! I jumped into a relationship right after my divorce with some one my family introduced me to.. he is in florida  ,,, so now I am in florida and cant find a support group close to me  closest is an hr away,  Herb has no idea about the surgery, he knows i had it  he just doent understand the eating   he pushes food and junk on me,,, its very hard!!!  he means well,  I joined the YMCA  but dont go to often because he is sick and needs me to take care of him,  I infuse his IVs 3 x a day so cant be gone away to long.   I just need a friend close to me to help me and spend time with me, so i can get back on track before it is to late. 
How do i know what is the average weight that i should have lost at 1 yr  with a start weight of 318? the say 50% of your excess weight  correct????  if so what should mine be?? If anyone knows please let me know,  oh and since I moved to florida and had the surgery and all the other changes in my life  I now have to take Ambien to sleep otherwise I stay up n think of regrets in my life since childhood, yup  see I need a friend.  sorry
Ok time to get in gear,  Any one care to help me   or is it selffish to cryout for help!!!!   
Dont get me wrong 140 lbs is good but i still dont see it, i still see fat n ugly with loose skin. 
Is there anyone on here near Dade City Florida????

177.2  havent done anything but go up n down 5 lbs or so    I have made alot of mistakes in my life since this surgery and now I have bad habits and sever depression,  but I did join the YMCA yesterday so I hope to be able to start going next week.
FYI  I use this as my journal for my mental thought I hope they get better soon

ok  I have to get back into good habits!!! I gained  I am 183 !!!!! we have to go to the hospital  tomorrow for herb  n then i will take care of him, i hope by next week i can focus on my n go to the YMCA n start getting my  mind on the right track,  I am ssooo depressed i must get energy to work out n diciplin to say NO to food.  GOD I beg please give me the strength!!! Amen

177.8   going to go to a support group meeting in tampa next tuesday

179.0 up and down but since i dont have a good track record of eating right i guess its ok.  I want to join the Ymca here in florida but need to wait because I need to take care of Herb.  He gets a pic line today.  I have some videos i need to get motivated to do.  I need to get out of the depression and get on track.  But yes I am happy I am n0t  320 lbs anymore

180 so yes i am up and down  i really need to get my life on track, i need a support group, i know i eat  the wrong things i need to get out of bad habits. I just moved to florida till may and need to find help here

179 slow and steady  wearing a 14- and some 12s