DeannaSmiles
9/17/05
I have decided to name the rest of this year and part of next as the year of "lasts". Last night I attended my "last" Octoberfest and tonight I will be attending my "last" Polishfest. I have to celebrate my 2 heritages one more time. I will still attend both of these events, but I won't be doing it as an obese person. I love the food at both of these events and I am already in the mind set that next year I won't be able to eat the way I did this year. Starting on Monday I will be changing the way I have been eating lately. I know it isn't healthy and I might as well get a head start right.
I know I have to do this for my health and for the rest of my life. I know it isn't going to be easy, because I do love food, but if I keep going and eating and not caring I might as well start planning my own funeral, because that is where I was headed. I can and will make this a life changing experience.
Now if only the PMRI would call and let me know when I can start making the appointments that I need for them. It is very frustrating when you call and they tell you they still don't have you completely set up in their system and you need to wait a few more days. Can you tell I am not a very patient person at times. Hopefully they will be calling me on Monday.
9/21/05
Finally heard from PMRI and I have to wait until January to start my classes since I am not having the surgery until April. I am still waiting for someone from Mid Atlantic GI's to call me back for my EGD. I want to get as much as I can done now, so it will be less intense later. Life is good right now though, I just wish I could marry a millionaire so all my money troubles would be over....lol. Ok heck with the man, come on Powerball.
9/28/05
Had my appointment with the cardioligist today, they were very nice and very supportive. I have to have a stress test done since heart disease is in my family. The stress test is on 11/10 and EDG is on 11/17. I can't believe this is actually happening to me. I am so excited and nervous still. I have been overweight since about 1985 or there about. At first it wasn't anything but 10-20 pounds, but now it is way out of control. I need to take control of it and make my life better. I finished ready Carnie Wilson's 2nd book "I'm Still Hungry" and have started reading her 1st book "Gut Feeling". I know I am doing it backwards, but the library didn't have the 1st book, I had to request that one. They are both very good and very real, she is a riot. I know I have some of the same patterns that she had, so if she can do it, I can do it. My seat belt is buckled and I am ready for the ride of my life.
10/12/05
Only 10 days left and I will be leaving for Hawaii. I have always wanted to go there, but never had the chance or the money. This is a work trip, so most of my trip will be spent visiting hotels. I do wish I had already had my surgery that way walking and touring the hotels won't make me winded. Without the surgery though I will be able to truly enjoy the food of Hawaii.
11/17/05
Boy has it been a while since I updated my profile. It has been a busy month for me though. I left for Hawaii on 10/22 and into 10/23 and I didn't return home until 11/3. When I got home I fell off a ladder trying to break into my own house and broke my left ankle along with bruises and pain in other places. Needless to say I am in a cast and was unable to do my stress test on 11/10. I loved Hawaii, it was so beautiful. The only problem I had, which I knew I would, was all the walking around in the heat. The first full day we were there they must have easily walked us 5 miles. Between the walking from hotel to hotel to the actual site inspections. My favorite island is Kauai though, it was so pretty, it is know as the "Garden Isle" and now I know why. The green of the island along with the flowers were awesome.
Today I had my EGD, everything went well. They told me I had a hyateal (sp) hernia, but I already knew that. When I was in the waiting room waiting for them to take me back Dr. Wynn walked by and saw me sitting there. She stopped for a minute or two and we chatted about Hawaii. I later found out that she came into the room while I was having my EGD done to see how I was doing. I don't remember a thing though. I will have to make it a point to thank her for that. She is an awesome doctor and a wonderful lady. Now all I need to do is reschedule my stress test and wait for January. I tweaked my insurance and I am now able to go out of netword, which is a good thing since Dr. Wynn didn't take my insurance.
I will try to be better at updating.
11/21/05
Can't sleep tonight so I hobbled downstairs to do some laundry at 3am today. I have been in a lot of pain in my neck/shoulder/upper back area since Wed morning and it won't go away. I took a percocet tonight and it has kept me awake. For some reason it started doing that to me when someone told me that percocet made them do that, up until that point I didn't have a problem sleeping with them. It is crazy and I feel stupid but I can't seem to make it stop now. I did call Dr. Wynn on Saturday and thanked her for coming in during my EGD, I still think that was so sweet of her. When she called back I was busy at work and couldn't speak to her, but her message back was that she told everyone in the GI lab that I was the best travel agent and if they needed an agent to come and see me. That made me feel really good. I try to treat people the way that I would like to be treated.
My poor son has had a stomach virus since Friday and has been laying on the couch in pain. Poor kid I feel bad for him, I hate to see him sick. He is such a good kid, I sometimes forget this and take advantage of him (make him do more around the house then I do). Sometimes it is easier that way though, I just don't have the energy some days and he is young and full of energy. I can't wait for the day when I can keep up with him. We will have a blast together.
11/30/05
Boy is time flying for me. I can't believe that November is gone already. Time really does fly, even if you aren't having fun. I called Judy at the PMRI yesterday and she told me news that I really didn't want to hear. It seems that one 10/1/05 they changed their policy and they now have a $575.00 deposit instead of the original $200.00 that they told me. I was and still am a little upset about this. I was trying to figure out my work schedule for this winter so I can make a few extra bucks at work and I wanted to kind of get an idea about their classes and appointment schedule. Now I have to wait until I get my tax refund back in February. Which now means my goal of the begining of April for surgery will be pushed back some. Other then this little set back everything else is going good. I still need to have my stress test done, but my ankle isn't ready for that yet. I will have to wait a few more weeks for that.
I asked my dear friend Joe Vietri to be my angel during my surgery and he agreed. He is such a great guy and friend.
12/31/05
Well here it is the last day of 2005 and I am so excited that the new year will be starting and along with the new year a new me. When I write 2006 tomorrow and any time from tomorrow on I will know that I am one day closer to being on the losing side of life again. I can't believe that these months have flown by so fast, I know they say the older you get the faster time flys, but darn I didn't realize how true that statement was until this year. I have realized so much the past few weeks, I have realized that through God ALL things are possible and with out a good family and good friends life wouldn't be the same. This has been a very hard year for me and I realized with out God, my family and my friends I wouldn't have made it through. I have also realized know matter what people say that I am a good, kind and caring person.
Tonight is my last New Years celebration the way that I have in the past. Every year in the past I stay at home with my son, order a few pounds of shrimp and bring in the new year eating shrimp and watching Dick Clark. Well tonight I am going to my best friend's house. We are going to have the shrimp along with clams and mussels. This year we ordered 5lbs of shrimp, I love shrimp, they are my favorite seafood after crabs. I know this time next year though I will have about 4-8 shrimp and be happy, full and satisfied. I am going to start taking the vitiams that I need to take after the surgery now, so I will be use to taking them and hopefully won't forget to take them by the surgery since by then it will be a habit. I am also going to start changing my eating habits, I usually eat my starch and veggies first and save my protien for last, but I am going to change that and start picking foods that are better for me. No more junk and wasted calories. I am a water drinker already, but I need to make sure I get my 64oz in a day. Healthy eating habits for a healthy life.
2006 BELONGS TO ME!!!!!
2/2/06
WOW, I can't believe that it has been over a month since I last posted. Things have been crazy though, work is very busy this time of year and I am putting in as many hours as I can to make as much money as I can.
I got my W2 on Monday and Tuesday I went and had my taxes done with Rapid Refund so I could have the money as soon as possible to pay for my classes and doctor's visits. I called to set up everything and I was told that they would no longer be holding the classes for new wls people and I would have to look elsewhere. I just about cried, it took everything in me not to cry. It was awful. I called Dr. Wynn's office immediately and explained everything to them and they were WONDERFUL. They fought hard for me to get me into the Lifeskills class that started on 2/1. At 555pm I was told to get my butt over to the PMRI and tell them that they had to take me. I was lucky and had God on my side because they had 1 person drop out that evening and had an opening for me. Today I called into Judy and she set up all of the other appointments that I would need. I then called Misty over at CHRiS and she scheduled me for 4/3/06. I can't believe it, I actually have a date and it is only 2 months away. I could of had sooner but I had to wait until April when work slows down a bit and before vacations start for everyone else. Now I just need to loose a little weight before I go into surgery and everything will be good to go. I really enjoyed the Lifeskills class, it was very imforative and helpful. I am looking forward to going back next week.
Until next time....(hopefully it will be next week).
2/13/06
Hmmmmm, looks like I said I would update again within a week, I guess time just pasted by and I forgot. Well I have completed 2 of the 3 Lifeskills classes and everything is going great I think, I have lost about 3-4 pounds. I am trying to change my eating habits and keep it protein focused. It seems to be working pretty well for me too. Although yesterday with all the snow I did cave in and ate some Oreo's. They were good, but I will not miss them. I could actually taste all that bad fat in them. Not worth it. I have my "team" appointment on 2/20 and then the medicial doctor on 3/3. After that I should be good to go. I am still reading the Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies book and am enjoying it very much. That book is very informative and helpful. I also bought a really good cookbook and a cookbook about cooking with Splenda. I will get a lot of use out of both of these books. I am going to back to working my normal schedule in March so I have time to clean my house really good and start cooking and freezing my pureed food. I want to be as prepared as possible for this. I have been trying some of the different protien drinks and some of them have been wonderful, while others I didn't like at all. I am glad I am doing this now though so I know what I like and what I don't. Life is good...........
2/20/06
Well in just 6 short weeks I will be a "loser". I had my last class last Wednesday and I lost almost 5lbs. I am very excited about that. I have worked very hard not to cave in and just eat whatever I want. Then I think of what they taught us in the class and I know I can't. I need to have a safe surgery and a quick recovery since I have to go back to work in on May 1st. Yesterday I went to the team appointment and saw the nurse pract and the physcologist. Both appointments went very well. I just have 3 more things to do before my surgury and all will be set. I have my MD appointment on 3/3, I have my pre-op appointment date not set yet and I need insurance approval. I am nervous about the last one the most. I am not afraid of the surgery at all, I feel very at peace with my decision and know that this is the best thing that I could be doing for myself. I have started to think about things that I would like to do after my surgery and when the weight starts to come off. and here they are in no order:
1. Cross my legs DONE IT!!!!
2. Be able to fit in a regular bathroom stall and not the handicap one. DONE IT!!!!!
3. Bend over to time my shoes instead of bringing my foot up on my knee to tie it. CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!
4. Climb up my basement steps without being out of breath. DONE!!!
5. Walk up a hill and not be out of breath. DONE!!!!
6. Ride my bide with my son for a couple of miles.
7. Join a yoga class.
8. Play tennis (not well but just play).
9. Ride amusement park rides again. DONE IT!!!
I am sure there are more but I can't think of them right now, I will add more when I think of them.
Until the next time.....
2/28/06
It is 220am and I can't sleep. I have no idea why, but I just can't. I feel asleep at 10pm tonight and woke up at 1am thinking it was morning already. There is snow falling right now and it is starting to cover the street. I have so much on my mind these days. I have a ton of work to do at work before I have my surgery and a ton of things to do around my house and I guess I am just feeling the pressure of getting it all done before 4/3. It is hard to belive that it is just 5 weeks away now. I am still waiting to hear whether or not I have been approved and I am getting anxious to hear their answer. I have an eye doctor's appointment on Wed for my contact lenses and hopefully I can wear them again, I am just tired of wearing my glasses. I miss my contacts. Then on Friday I have my Medical Doctor's appointment at the PMRI for final clearence from him. I don't think that will be a problem at all. I just want to sleep tonight...lol.
Until next time....
3/14/06
Wow, I didn't realize it has been so long since I last updated my profile. Things are just so crazy right now I feel like I am going to loose my mind sometimes. I didn't even get to write in here that I have been approved for the surgery after the first try. Work is especially crazy right now. It is our busy season and I have a couple of groups that are finalizing their vacations and it overwhelming for me right now. I need to get my entire desk in order before I leave for surgery in 2 1/2 weeks.
I can't believe it is just 2 1/2 weeks away. I found out today that I need to be at the hospital by 7am on April 3rd and my surgery is at 10am. I am also in the process of getting my house in order and trying to cook some food up for me to eat when I come home. Not too much though since I won't know what I can and can not keep down at this point. I am just hoping my tastes don't change too much. If I come out of this surgery and don't like the taste of seafood or chocolate any more I will just cry. The chocolate is for the protein shakes that I plan on drinking and the seafood is because I LOVE seafood, all kinds, you name and I love it. Even the gross stuff and some people don't like (calmari and escargot).
I have lost over 10 pounds now getting ready for this surgery in the past 5 weeks or so. That makes me very happy. I also went to the doctor for my final clearence and found out that I am pre diabetic. My blood sugar came back at 103, I have never in my life been anywhere near being diabetic and now here I am knocking on the door to diabeties. Here I was worried about my cholesteral and that was wonderful. I guess now I know why I am always thirsty though. I can never get enough to drink, I sleep with a bottle of water next to my bed in case I wake up in the middle of the night with cotton mouth.
Until next time.....
3/20/06
Well here I am, 2 weeks from today I will be in Christiana Hospital doing the most important thing I could ever do for myself. I can't believe that I only have 2 weeks left. Today is the first day of spring and yes I did go to Rita's for my free water ice. It was yummy, I also know that this is part of my "lasts". This was my last 1st day of spring where I can get my free water ice, and the funny thing is as much as I love them I am fine with it. I know that I am truly ready for this surgery. I know that there are more important things in my life then getting a free water ice from Rita's.
Everyone keeps asking me if I am afraid to have this surgery, and some of the posts I read about 75% of everyone that has had this has been scared, but I am not. I think I was more afraid to have my hysterectomy then this. I love the faces that people give me when I tell them I am having it done. They look like they are going to pass out. I just laugh and tell them it is OK, I am going to be fine and that I am just trying to give myself a better quality and quanity of life. I know that if I don't have it done that my life will be a lot shorter then it should be and that as I get the weight off that I am going to be doing so much better then I ever have. People are strange though, they think they know what is best for everyone. I just laugh at them and let them know it is OK.
Until next time....
3/27/06
Well, here I am 1 week away from surgery and I feel great. This time next week I will be in Christiana Hospital pumping myself full of pain meds and walking every 3 hours. I am beside myself with excitement. I think this week will be the longest week of my life. I have my house in order, now I just need to get my desk at work in order and I will be set. I am going to go out for a nice steak dinner on Friday night. I wanted steak because from what I have read and heard it is one of the hardest things to eat post op, so I want one more good steak dinner before I have my surgery. I also have a hair appointment on Tuesday for a cut and color, I can't go to the hospital with my roots showing. Thursday I am off, but have last minute errands to run, and Saturday starts 48 hours on a liquid diet. Not looking forward to it, but if that is the worst that I have to do to get this surgery then I will do it. I had my pre op appt with Dr. Wynn and told her I needed a note so I can have Saturday off, she wouldn't give it to me, told me I could do it....lol. Guess there will be one grumpy travel agent working on Saturday.
Will try to update every day until surgery.....
3/30/06
So much for updating daily. Well Sunday I finished cleaning my living room by myself because my son was sick. Monday he stayed home from school and I went to work, nothing exciting there. Tuesday I woke up with the sore throat from hell, and my life has been hell since. I went to work on Tuesday and tried not to do anything more then I should, but as the day went on I could feel myself getting sicker. Wednesday I woke up and wanted to know what bus hit me. I felt like shit. I can't believe I have a cold now. I did go to my pcp and they put me on a 3 day "Z" pack. As Wednesday went on I wasn't feeling any better at all. Came home from work Wednesday night and went straight to bed. Woke up this morning and still trying to figure out what bus hit me. I feel awful, and according to Joe I don't sound much better either. I now have the diarehia on top of the cold. I can't stand this, I have to get better before Monday or my surgery that I have waited for since Sept is going to be postponned until who knows when. I am going to go back to bed in a little bit and hopefully sleep this thing off. I am not a happy camper right now to say the least.
4/10/06
Wow, I haven't updated in almost two weeks. I can't believe it. Well the cold did get better and I was able to have the surgery. I will start with Saturday morning and go from there. Saturday I got up extra early, I wanted to be at work by 7am and I was. I still had a ton of things to get done and needed to be there. At around 830am I decided it was time for my "last" meal. I had 4 scrambled eggs, and 6 slices of turkey bacon and an apple. That big breakfast actually held me over until 3pm when a coworker heated up a piece of chicken and was eating it. I was starving from that point on. I drank my broth, ate my jell-o, drank so much water I should have floated out of there. I finally was done work around 7pm and went home and had more broth. Joe called me to make sure I was OK and he and I chatted for almost an hour, it killed the time and I enjoy talking to him. He was the pefect person to pick as my angel. I finally went to bed to forget about my starving belly.
Sunday morning I woke up with a killer headache from hunger. I ate and drank more broth and Jell-O and went to church, that was a great experience. My minister asked everyone to keep me in their prayers this week since I was having a "special" surgery on Monday. It was communion Sunday so as everyone was leaving the Alter they stopped to wish me good luck and give me a hug. I love my church family they are a great group of people. I knew with them behind me that everything would be just fine. We came home from church and started cleaning the house. It definately kept me busy and kept my mind off of eating. In fact the last time I had broth was for lunch, the rest of the day I just drank my water. I finished getting the cleaning done and took my shower and went to bed after I packed for the hospital. I should have just packed my tooth brush, deodorant, toothpaste and chapstick. Everything else I packed was just extra weight in the bag I didn't use any of it.
Monday morning I woke up at 430am and started to get ready for the hospital, I was very excited and ready to go. We arrived at the hospital at 7am and they took me back, got me changed and my mom and I just hung out and watched TV until 9am when they came to take me to pre op. When I arrived in pre op about 4 people surrounded me and starting asking questions and getting me ready for the surgery. It was really easy. Everyone wanted to know if I was scared and I wasn't, not one bit. I was excited, but not scared. I knew deep down that I was doing the right thing and that everything would be just fine. Dr. Wynn and Iragu came over and spoke to me and then they wheeled me into the OR. Everything went great, the last thing I remember is them saying take deep breaths and then I woke up to Deanna it's over we need you to wake up. I am easy to go under, but a tough one to come back out of it. I was in recovery for almost 4 hours. I just wanted to sleep. They kept asking me to rate my pain....lol. I am a whimp, I just kept saying 10 10 10. At 2pm they took me to my room and I met Lynn again. She was a nurse who had had the surgery almost 2 years ago. She was a sweetheart and took awesome care of me. Mom left because all I wanted to do was sleep. Lynn came in a couple hours later and told me they had a private room open up and they were moving me over there. I was very excited. Looking back now as much as I am a social person talking became a real chanllenge. I wasn't allowed to have anything to eat or drink by mouth. I was give a lollipop looking sponge with a cup of ice chips that I was allowed to wet my mouth with, that was it, and talking just made my mouth dry and I wanted to save the moisture for other things.....lol. My best friends come to visit me that afternoon.
Tuesday they came in and took out the cathiter, this was a good and bad thing, good because everyone hates them things and bad because that meant that I now needed to get up and go for myself. This was not fun at first, so every hour there I was buzzing for the nurse to come get me so I could pee. I hate IV's, that is for sure. This lasted all day and night. Nothing exciting happened on this day, Dr. Wynn and Iragu both came in and told me everything went great and wanted to know how I was feeling, I told them fantastic. Joe came to visit me on his way to work, he is such a sweet man and a great friend.
Wednesday morning came and I was extra excited because I was going home. Dr. Wynn came in again and told me that my surgery was a textbook case and again that everything went great. I was allowed to go, I called my mom and she came to get me. Got up, got dressed and waited and waited and waited, oh did I tell you I waited, for the wheelchair to come for me. After about 10 minutes of this I looked at the nurses and told them I felt well enough to walk out of there. So one the the nursing assistant's came and walked with me. I was sprung....YEAH. I came home and was so excited to be home. My dog Bailey was happy also. I came in the door and he knew right away not to jump on me like he usually does. He then became my protector from the cat. He tried to keep her off me but that was hopeless. I have since become a human cat bed everytime I sit in the recliner. Came home to still more broth and jell-o, for 48 hours, I couldn't wait until Friday. Thursday I was bored out of my mind all day. It was nice out so I did go for a walk, but that was about it.
Friday was finally here and I was allowed to have real pureed food. I was very excited, I had a skinny monkey for breakfast. My best friend Mary came over and took me out for a while. We went to the bank and the grocery store. That was so exciting to be out. I of course packed up my little cooler and off I went. Had a great time and had no pain or problems what so ever. Was a little tired out when we got home, but then I got to rest for the rest of the night.
Saturday nothing exciting here except that I sat and watched the food network all day long, trying to firgure out some good things to cook. I haven't had any problems what so ever, the food as all agreed with me including eggs and I am feeling great. It rained all day today and I stayed in and relaxed. I knew Sunday would be a big day again for me.
Sunday got up and got ready for church including packing my little cooler of goodies to take with me today. I had another skinny monkey for breakfast that I took with me, I had 2 little drink bottles of ice tea, and a bottle of water, then I also had my 1/2 of banana, and 2oz of egg salad. I got really busy after our 9am service and didn't get to eat the banana. Actually I was so busy at church that all I could do was drink, and didn't eat until 1pm. I wasn't starving by then, but I definately didn'f feel good. Everyone was shocked to see me though, it was so funny to see their faces when they saw me. I just laughed. I told them with almost 200 people praying for me I knew I would be fine. Jonathan made his confirmation, boy was I proud of him. Everyone in that church just loves him. After church we went to the cemetaries to visit the graves and decorate them for Easter. I still miss my dad. We came home and I was pooped out. I just rested for the rest of the day and played with Bailey outside.
Monday (today), nothing exciting today at all, just bored out of my mind. I have not a single regret that I have had this surgery and am overjoyed that I did. This is the absolute best thing that I could have ever done for myself. I feel wonderful. I stepped on the scale today and I have now lost 8 pounds. That is a pound a day, that is just what I wanted to loose. That makes me even happier. I am under 300 pounds for the first time in a year!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bailey and I did go for a nice walk and sat outside in the nice warm air and enjoyed the nice afternoon.
So now that you are all updated I feel much better....I love my life now and for the first time in a very long time I actually love myself.
4/21/06
Well today I go and see Dr. Sahm for my two week check up. I am very excited and very nervous. I actually couldn't sleep last night because of this, so here I am at 6am downstairs doing laundry. I still feel wonderful and I am walking about a mile a day. My dog loves this because he gets to go with me. According to my scale at home I have lost about 15 pounds since 4/3/06, and a total of 34 pounds since Feb 1st. I feel great, I have engery that I have never had before and it feels wonderful to feel this way. The only problem that I have had is twice now I have eaten to fast and it made me sick. Now I make sure that I am paying attention to how fast the food is going in. I am not one to throw up so that really bothered me when I did. I am not looking forward to going back to work on May 1st. I am enjoying this time off and wish there was a way I could squeeze in an extra week or two, but there isn't, so back to work I go on May 1st.
There is one thing that has happened that I am still totally confused about. One of my best friend's brother has started calling me and calls me everyday. I have known this man for almost 16 years and he has always been nice to me, but has never said the things that he has been saying to me now. It is really weird, but fun and exciting at the same time. I can't believe it. He is a very sweet man and I have always thought that he was handsome, but this came out of no where. I am just going to sit back and let it be for now. I am enjoying the attention and he is making me feel very special.
I will update later when I get back from the doctors.
5/8/06
Well, I never did get to update when I came back from the surgeon's office for my 2 week check up and here it is after my 1 month check up and I am just now updating, I really need to keep up with this.
My 2 week check up went great. I lost 19lbs at that point and I was very proud of that. I really didn't have any issues at all. I haven't had any reactions to foods at that point. I was warned that the next 2 weeks would be round and boy have they been. I woke up that Saturday morning and I felt like a bus had hit me. It was raining outside and I didn't feel like doing anything but watch tv and veg in my recliner. Sunday wasn't much better, I did go to church and when I came home from church I took a 3 hour nap. Then Monday and part of Tuesday the depression hit big time. By Tuesday afternoon I couldn't stand it any more and knew I had to break this. I went to a meeting that evening at my church and within 15 minutes I was glad I went. People were commenting on how good I looked and how proud they were of me. The rest of that week went a lot better.
I went back (regretfully) on 5/1/06 and all I can say is that is sucked. I really enjoyed my time off and was hoping to hit the powerball so I would never have to work again. Since that didn't happen back to work I went. I got back in the swing of things rather quickly and again people where praising me on how good I looked.
I have gotten into a routine of waking up at 6am and going for a one mile walk, come back and get ready for work and after work going for my Curves workout. I have to say, I feel so much better doing this exercise. I was told tonight that my whole attitude has changed and they like the changes that they are seeing in me. I was told I am focused and very upbeat. That made me feel good. I know I need to stay focused and upbeat about all of this. It is a huge change in my life and a change I am so glad that happened. I am going to look forward to many more days of this new life.
5/26/06
Life sure does get busy and you don't get to do the things that you like to do or update profiles the way you should....lol. Anyway, life has been good for me since my surgery. I love the new life that I have been given. I am down 47 pounds since 2/1 (when I started my Lifeskills classes) and 28 pounds since my surgery. I am very excited. I did get a stomach flu this week which stinks because now I am on liquids until Monday and baby food on Monday and back to a normal diet on Tuesday. Dr. Wynn wants to give my body a chance to get rid of whatever is in there making me sick. She is an awesome doctor. You can tell that she really cares about her patients.
School is almost out for my son and I think I am going to try to make this one of the best summers of his life. He deserves it, he is a good kid. I am hoping that he gets a job for the summer, but at this point it is not likely. It is hard for 15 year olds to get jobs. He is a good kid and I am glad he is my son. I am off on Thursdays and Sundays and I think I am going to make Thursdays "our" day. I want to start doing fun things with him on those days, even if all it is, is going to Old New Castle for a bike ride and a picnic. I want us to do things together again so he will have lots of happy memories when he looks back on his childhood.
6/29/06
Time is flying by and it is so hard to get on here and update my profile. I have been very busy with work and my new life. I am walking 2 miles a day, going to Curves and next week I will be starting the Core Secrets workouts. I am so excited about my new life. Last night my son and I went for a bike ride, we rode about 1 1/2 miles total, I had to stop 3 times because I forgot my water and was exhausted and extremely thristy. I feel like I have a whole new wardrobe for work also. I have found clothes that I didn't even know I had and when I try them on they all too big, with the exception of a few. They are clothes that I am working at getting into. I am in an 18/20 right now and that is down from about a 28.
I haven't had any major sickness or ailments from the surgery either, thank God. The only issue that I am having is I am losing hair something awful. Thank God I have a lot of hair and it is summer so less hair is a good thing. I think if I lose a lot more I will become nervous, but for now I am not worried.
Thank you so much to Dr. Wynn and the staff at CHRiAS without them I would probably weigh 350 by now instead of the 263 that I am now.
9/1/06
Another summer is gone and what a fun summer it has been for me. I am celebrating my 5 months post op this weekend and it is hard to believe that it is 5 months already. There are times when it feels like I had this surgery years ago and then at times it feels like it was just yesterday. I have had one heck of an August. From Aug 5 to 13 I was on vacation. I went from Wilmington to Dewey Beach, Dewey Beach to Federalsburg, MD, Federalsburg, MD to Fredricksburg, VA, Fredricksburg back to Wilmington, from Wilmington to Hershey, PA, from Hershey to Berwick PA, from Berwick back home to Wilmington. My son and I had a blast. I got to go to the beach for the day and for the first time in a very long time I didn't feel like I was the fattest person on the beach. I also met one of the sweetest men. Right now we are friends, but I am hoping for more next year when he is over his divorce and I am at my goal weight. In Hershery I was able to ride all the rollercoasters without a single problem and boy where they fun. The storm runner ride scared me to death, but I had a blast on it. I got to spend time with my aunt, uncles and cousins and that is always fun. They saw me for the 4th of July and were impressed with the "new" Deanna, but I had lost another 20 pounds and they were shocked to see me again.
When I came back from vacation that is when my life really changed. We got back home on 8/13 and within 2 hours of being home I was in the hospital feeling like someone was trying to rip my stomach out. I was there from 8/13 to 8/18. The doctors were puzzled with what was wrong with me, every test they did came back normal, but I was still in pain. Dr. Wynn decided to do a diagnostic lap and found that I had some scar tissue wrapped around my intestines. I felt better, but still something just wasn't right. On 8/27 I was rushed back into the hospital for more tests, this time they didn't find anything. I was told that I have IBS which I already knew, and a spasmatic colin. This is not fun at all, now I am on 3 different medications to keep my stomach under control. Needless to say this has knocked me out of my grove and now I need to get back in the grove mentally and keep myself focussed on my final goal weight of 165.
I am at the half way point of my weight loss though. I got on the scale today and I weighed 238lbs. This makes me very happy. I have lost 86lbs so far. In another 14lbs I will hit the century mark and I will be doing some serious celebrating then. That will put me at 224lbs, that is only 2lbs heavier then the day I gave birth to my son. Then 25lbs after that I will be under 200 which will be another great big celebration. Then after that the goal will be 165.
I love my new life, I love the fact that I am almost in a size 16 bottoms. I can already fit into a 14/16 top. This has been my lifesaver and I am forever grateful.
Here's to my next goal........224lbs
9/23/2006
It is so hard to believe that it has been one year since I started my weightloss journey. The year has flown by and I have enjoyed every minute of this year. I did go last weekend to the Oktoberfest as a post op and had an awesome time. I found out that the Oktoberfest isn't just about the food. It is about seeing friends that you only get to see a few times a year and meeting new people. I did enjoy the food that I ate, but it was not my main focus.
I am 7 pounds away from my goal of being down 100lbs by 9/30/06. I am starting my walking again next week and going back to the YMCA on a regular basis. I need to do this. I have 66 pounds to go to reach my goal, I can now taste thin again. I am looking better and feeling like a new person. It is unbelievable how wonderful life is when you don't weigh 300+ pounds.
I am going to the NACSAR race tomorrow and this year will be a lot better then last year. Last year was awful, I almost passed out because of the heat and my weight. With all the walking and everything it was the worst. This year will be so different. Walking long distances is no longer a problem and steps are a breeze again. It is going to be a good weekend. We are going down today and spending the night at one of the camp grounds which will be a blast.
Time to get back to work........
9/27/06
Well the NASCAR race was awesome. We had a blast. The best part was I was never once winded or felt like I was going to die. We walked all around on Saturday night shopping and having a good time. On raceday Sunday we walked over to the track again no problem for me at all. When we got inside the track I was going up and down the steps without a single problem. I was even going down the steps a lot to try and get better pictures of the drivers and the prerace activities. It was the best WOW moment I have had so far. When the race was over we walked back to the camper in the rain and had a great bbq back at the camper.
Yesterday I went to Walmart and bought a few new pieces of clothing that actually fit. I bought a size 16W skirt and it fits perfectly.
I still need to get back to the YMCA. I really need to make time for that. I know the weight won't come off as easily without the exercise. The other thing I need to work on is my water intake. I am not getting in my 64oz a day that I need. I try, but I keep forgetting to drink. I know that sounds impossible, but I do. I get busy doing things and my water just sits there.
This Friday I have my 6 month check up with the PMRI and next Friday I have my 6 month check up with Dr. Wynn. I am looking forward to both of these visits. The scale is moving down down down and in 6 more pounds I will have lost 100LBS. I will be dancing in the streets then.
Until next time.............
10/7/06
Well I had my 6 month check up yesterday and that went really well. I love Dr. Wynn, she is such an awesome doctor and surgeon. She told me that I looked great and all my labs were awesome. She did tell me though that I need to get back to exercising ASAP because it does help with the weight loss and speeds things up. She also told me that if I don't get back to it there is a chance that I could regain 5-20% of my lost weight. I don't want to do that, so my butt is getting up Monday morning and walking if it kills me. I need to do this for my health. I was never one for exercise, but I need to be now. I have to be now. I need to get the last 65lbs off and I don't want to have to fight a weight problem every again.
Is it possible to feel sexy sometimes? I think so, depending on what I am wearing, sometimes I feel very sexy and pretty. I have never felt that in my life, especially the pretty part. I was never the pretty one. I was always the one who would wear loud outfits, and the heavier I got the louder the outfits...lol. I like to dress in bold colors with patterns. I am toning that down though, going more contemporary and I like that look. Still not sure about the hair though, I think I am going to let it grow out more and then decide when I get closer to my goal.
I applied for the job I have drempt about for the past 5 years in an industry that I have drempt about since I was 12. I have applied for the District Sales Manager for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines for DE and MD. I have my fingers crossed and praying that I get it. I would love to have that job. I will update when I know something.
Until next time....
10/18/06 (am)
Well I finally did it!!!! I joined the Centruy Club. I stepped on the scale this past Friday and it officially said 224lbs. I wanted to jump for joy, I was so excited. I can believe I actually lost 100lbs. This surgery has given me so much. I feel like a whole new person. I still have about 60lbs to lose before I get to the goal that I have set in my head, but I am just going to keep on doing what I am suppose to do and enjoy everything that my new life has to offer me.
I had a phone interview last week with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and that went well. I should be hearing something soon if I have made the cut or not. They had 40 people submit resumes and out of the 40 they are inviting 10 down to Baltimore to do a panel interview with 3 people and that should be next week. From the 10 they will pick 2 and fly them down to Miami the beginning of November for interviews with 1 or 2 of the VP's. Then they will pick the person who they feel is right for the job. That person will then have to go home, pack and tie up any loose end they might have because on Nov 12th they will set sail on the Mariner of the Seas for their National sales meeting for 7 days. When he asked me if I would have a problem with any of this I very quickly said no way. I still have my fingers crossed and I am still praying that I will get my dream job. My theory on this is if I make it to Baltimore, that job will be mine.
Here's to my next goal.....to step of the scale on Christmas morning and weight 199lbs.
10/18/06 (pm)
Well I sent an email to the man in charge of the Baltimore interviews and I was not picked as one of the 10. I am so upset right now I could cry. I wanted that job more then anything in my life. I feel so let down right now it isn't even funny. I feel like once again I tried to better myself and the doors and windows were slammed shut in my face. This is when I hate my life and myself. I can't believe the pain that I am feeling right now. I wish there was something that would make me feel better again. I did turn to food to try and comfort me, but it wasn't food that I shouldn't eat, it was cheese and crackers. The old Deanna would have went to Dunkin' Donuts ordered a dozen Boston cream donuts and ate every last one of them. The new me went and got 4 pieces of cheese. Boy how times have changed in such a short amount of time.
Hopefully I will feel better soon...
10/22/06
Well I didn't think I would feel better about not getting that job so soon, but I really do. I guess my faith in God and my belief that everything happens in God's time and not ours has made me feel better about the whole thing. I always said I wanted that job after my son graduated from high school. Well he is only in the 10th grade so I have 2 1/2 years to go before I will truly persue that type of job again. Until then I will stay where I have been for the past 20+ years. I love my job and the people I work with so that is a good thing. So I will wait and keep on keeping on.
Until next time....
11/7/06
I had the funniest wow moments lately. The first one came Halloween night when I had to go to the firehouse and wait for my son to get back from a fire. It started to get really cold out and I didn't have my coat, I remembered my son's coat was in the backseat of the car and I though well hopefully I can get my arms in there to keep warm so I ran over and got it out. I put it on no problem and I was nice and warm for a little bit. Then I started to get cold again and decided to try and zip the coat up, and without a single problem I zipped it right up. I was so excited, it was the best feeling in the world. My son likes his clothes big, but I would have never even attempted that before my surgery. The other one came today when I got in my car and I felt like I was sitting to far from the sterring wheel then I realized that my seat wasn't moved, but my stomach had gotten smaller and made me more room from the sterring wheel. I use to be afraid of my air bad deploying and hurting me because I was so close, but not now. I have a good foot between me and the steering wheel. It is the best feeling.
I am on vacation this week and have not been feeling the greatest lately. It seems like every time I eat something I feel sick to my stomach. It lasts for a couple of hours and I don't like this feeling one bit. It started on Friday night after I ate at Arby's, I thought I just ate to much and once it settled I would be fine. Well this feeling lasted 4 quarters of a high school football game. Saturday night I helped chaparone my son's homecoming dance and had a great time. I ate a few too many pitzel cookies and caused myself to get a headache from the sugar. Note to self stay away from them in the future. Homecoming was great though, I got to see the hottie teacher that I like and he gave me the best neck massage ever, I told him he was hired.
That's all for now......
12/4/06
I can not believe that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is 20 days away. This year has flown by. This time last year I thought Dec 2006 was a lifetime away. I have come so far in such a short amount of time. As of this morning I am down to 211lbs and my BMI is 31.1. I am just a little over a point away from just overweight not obese. I will celebrate that day for sure. My goal is still 199 on Christmas morning. The closer I get the harder that goal is looking, but I am going to do my very best to get there. I was at 218 for almost 3 weeks, but while the scale stayed the same the inches were falling off of me. I have been able to wear pants that my mom gave me that had a 3" gap in them when I tried to zip them just the month before. My life is truly amazing and I love it.
I got to see my ex-brother in-law ther other day. I needed a car and he works for a car dealership, he got me in touch with someone who could help me. I stopped by his dealership to personally thank him for all of his help and it took him a minute or two to recogonize me. It was so funny. Today he told my ex that I was "hot" and that he should do everything in his power to win me back again because I was looking so good. I just laughed, I think it is a riot. Now that Mike has seen me though word will get around the rest of the family exactly how "hot" I really am now....lol. All I can do is sit back and laugh though because it is too funny.
This month is busy with Christmas, and next month starts busy season at work again. That is going to be a real challenge with my new eating habits. I hope I will be ok with it.
Until next time....
1/1/07
I can not believe it is Jan 1st 2007, 2006 flew by for me. In 2 days I will be 9 months post op and I have lost almost 120lbs since Feb 1st. I went to a New Years Eve party last night and had a blast. I haven't been out for New Years since I was in my early 20's. It was so long ago I can't even remember exactly how old I was. I have set a few New Years resolutions and they are:
1. Journal my food, water and exercise intake daily.
2. Do some type of exercise for at least 30 minutes per day.
3. Read and complete the Purpose of Driven Life.
4. Do my devotionals every night before I go to bed.
5. Lose my remaining weight by 4/3/07 (my 1 year anniversary).
I need to find some inner peace for myself. Sometimes I get into my head and find way to much stress and way to many problems. There are times when I don't even know which way to turn. It has nothing to do with my surgery or the new life that it has allowed me to have, it has to do with not being able to manage money and being lazy about housework and cleaning. I know I am a good person, but these things really get to me and I don't know what or how to fix them.
Today we are all going over to my mom's house for a New Years day dinner. This will be the first time we are all together in my parent's house since my dad died almost 3 years ago. I am nervous about how it is all going to work out, since dad died our family isn't much of a family anymore. We all talk to my mom and love her, but we don't talk to each other. I seem to be the only one who talks to my 2 sisters and my brother. Everyone else just doesn't even try. It really makes me sad because I know my dad wouldn't want us to be like that. Family was everything to my dad, he loved to have us all over and cook for us. I miss him so much, but that isn't going to bring him back. He is watching over all of us, shaking his head and saying I thought I taught them all better then this. They know better then to act this way. Either way it should be an interesting day.
Until next time...
1/14/07
Well it has been 2 weeks since 2007 and I love it already. New Years day at my mom's was a mess. My youngest sister was a complete jerk and stayed away from the entire family. She can be such a bitch. We all ignored her and eventually she left and things went better from there.
I had my first date since my divorce in 2005 and of course since my surgery. It was with one of the only single guys at my church. He is a sweetheart. His name is Tom and we hit it off beautifully. We went out to dinner and then back to his place to watch the Eagles game. The game was awesome, but the ending was sad. Tom was a complete gentlemen though, he held open the doors for me, opened the car door, held my coat so I could put it on and was an all around nice guy. He made me feel so great though when he told me he had had his eye on me for the past year, I was shocked by that. Being over 300lbs I didn't think anyone paid attention to me because of how big I was. Glad he was looking though. We are going out to Mugs this Saturday night for dancing and another fun night together. We are keeping things low at church because neither one of us want to become a part of the gossip at church. I actually like that, I don't need people to be talking about me.
Things at work have been crazy, eating isn't a problem for the most part except on the weekends, then it is extremely hard to eat when I am suppose too. I find myself snacking a lot though. The good thing though is I am eating healthier snacks then I use too. I just need to be careful though, and get in some exercise.
Until next time....
1/30/2007
Spent another fun filled day with Tom. He is the best thing to happen in my life in a very long time. I enjoy spending my day off with him and he feels the same way about me. We have a great time together, he makes me laugh like no one else can. He acts silly and says some of the funniest things to me. We are already making plans to be together again next Tuesday, plus I am going down to his store on Friday night to see him at work. He wants to show me around his work, and he was actually excited when I told him I was going to stop by. He can't be real and he can't be for me....I know I shouldn't say that, but he doesn't have jerk or loser written on his head, and that seems like all I ever attract. He reminds me of my dad, he is very laid back and loving and caring. Just like my dad was.
Work is OK, had some problems last week and almost lost my job, but for the most part it is OK. I can't believe January is over already. I have 2 more months of working 6 days a week and having Tuesdays off. I am asking Denise if I can switch my day off to Tuesdays so Tom and I can still spend them together. I like spending my Tuesdays with him.
The weight loss has just about stopped, and so had the exercise, which isn't a good thing. Dr. Wynn says I will never way 165, and I am OK with that, but I at least want to weigh under 200. I am at 203/204 now. I know what I need to do, it's just finding the time and energy to do it.
Until next time....
2/25/07
Wow, I can't believe a month has passed since I last updated my profile. Life is going great for me right now. Tom is still awesome and I am in awe of him all the time. I had the best Valentine's Day of my life this year. He was so thoughtful and surprised me with 2 cute stuffed animals, flowers and a cute card. I got him a Tweety Bird that sings to him and a cute card. He loved it, and apparently from what he said the other day he plays it. He has spoiled me rotten and has made Tuesday my favorite day of the week. I have requested to be off on Tuesdays, but so far I haven't heard from her. She will do anything she can right now to torture me. Tom is away this weekend for his mother's 86th birthday and it is killing me. I am so use to talking to him at least 4 times a day and I have not spoken to him in 24 hours. I am going through withdrawl....lol. I haven't felt this about someone since I was in high school and his name was Mark Maier, and he didn't share my feelings. From what Tom has shown me he shares my feelings.
On weight loss I am officially down to 199lbs.....YEAH FOR ME! I am so excited about that. I didn't realize it, but I have lost 10lbs since I started dating Tom. That made me extremely happy. So in 6 weeks I have lost 10lbs. It has slowed down, but that is OK, I don't mind as long as I keep losing. My next goal is 190lb, once I am there I will set another goal.
Until next time......
3/23/07
Well another month has passed and life has changed once again. Tom and I broke up this past Wednesday. He couldn't deal with our age difference and when I forced him to either stop keeping me a secret and start telling people we are dating or we were done, he chose done. He said that I was the best person, lover and friend he had ever had, but he couldn't deal with the age difference. To say I was devistated is an understatement. I cried all day Wednesday when this went down. I cried until I couldn't cry any more, then I cried some more anyway. Thank God I have very supportive friends who were there for me and made the day a little better. Yesterday I got up and cried some more in the morning but then decided he wasn't worth any more tears and I haven't cried since. I will get through this with God's help and the support of my family and friends I will survive. I still love him and miss him like crazy, and will have to face him this Sunday at breakfast and church. I went out shopping and decided to buy a new pair of jeans so I picked up different sizes, I got a 18 Long, which I knew would be too big, but was trying it for the length, I got a 16 medium, which I thought would be OK, but was worried it would be too short, and I got a 14 Long. I went to the dressing room and wanted to try on the 14's I didn't think they would fit but I want to see how much more I would have to lose before I could get into the 14s. Well I put them on, pulled them up, buttoned and zipped them and screamed. THEY FIT!!!!! I was so excited, I was dancing and dancing in the dressing room. It was the best feeling in the world for me. I can't wait to wear them tonight when my friend and I go out country line dancing, I am also going to wear them this Sunday when I go to church along with the low cut black and purple top I bought.
Time is healing and I am done crying and life will go.
Until next time......
3/26/07
Well what an interesting 3 days I have had. I have had things happen to me that have never happened before in my entire 41 1/2 year of my life. Friday I went out dancing with my friend Amy to our favorite country bar to see our favorite country band. We had a blast, we danced and danced. I only got a little nervous about Tom around the time that he would be driving by on his way home. Well the night went on, the band was awesome and we were having fun. Then the drunk man came out onto the dance floor and tried to dance with us, I went to the bouncers and told them about him. They came over and told him to calm down. That lasted about 10 minutes, then he started again. Only this time he had his camera phone out trying to take our pictures. Well I stormed off the dance floor and went back to the bouncers and they removed him for the night. After that happened I was still fired up and started talking to this guy that Amy and I always see in there. We always called him the tall skinny dude, because he is like 6'4" and very skinny. He shows up around midnight every time he goes there. So he came over to me and told me that the drunk guy tried to talk to him also, but he couldn't understand a word he was saying. Well Amy and I went back out on the dance floor and danced some more. They sang a song that we could El Paso to, so we were El Pasoing and when I got near the tall skinny dude I invited him out on the floor with us. He declined, but when the dance was over he came up to me and asked if I came out on Saturday night that he would El Paso with me. I of course said yes that I would be there we exchanged names his name is Burt and agreed to see each other on Saturday. On the ride home I was so excited that I would have someone to dance with, even if it was only an hour, on Saturday. Came home washed my new size 14 jeans so they would clean for church on Sunday and went to bed at 245am. Woke up at 730am got ready for work and was doing really well. I was still flying high from Burt asking me to come back on Saturday. Went to work and out to dinner with my mom, came home got ready to go shopping so I could find a new "sexy" top to wear. Found this cute red shirt at Penney's and off to the bar we went. We got there and while we were sitting there I looked over and there was my ex-boyfriend Jeff and his girlfriend Sue. They were sitting at the next table over. I said hello to them and they didn't even know it was me, I had changed that much. They proceeded to tell me how great I looked and they were happy for me. The music started and off to the dance floor I went. We were having a great time, we danced most of the dances. Around midnight here comes Bart, I was out on the dance floor and when he saw me he gave me this great big smile. When I came off the dance floor he came over and gave me a quick kiss on my check and told me he would be right back. When he got back we headed for the dance floor and proceeded to dance together just about every dance for the rest of the night, the fast. slow and line dances. When we were slow dancing he was singing the song to me. He is a really good singer. This is when Amy got pissed at me. She got upset because I was dancing with him instead of her. When we were leaving I gave Burt my number and he called it right away so I would have his. On the ride home Amy proceeded to tell me how she didn't appreciate me leaving her sitting there that I should have included her in the fast dances. Now in the 2 years that we have been going out dancing I never once said anything like that to her as the men were dropping at her feet and always asking her to dance. So I told her that this was the first time in my entire life that a guy approached me and asked me to dance. I had no clue what to do. I just knew that I was asked to dance and I was dancing. I got home and called Bart and thanked him for the dances and let him know that I enjoyed dancing with him. We talked, and he asked me out for this weekend. I am going too. I really did enjoy dancing with him.
Then came Sunday. I went to bed about 2am or so and woke up at 330am and couldn't sleep anymore. I got up and felt nervous but good. I knew I was putting on my new "sexy" outfit and felt really good about how I looked in it. I got ready for church and off to cook breakfast for the last time until Sept. I was doing great, I saw Tom get out of his truck and walk up to the building, my heart sank to my stomach, but I was still fine. He came into the hall and I was fine. He did say Hello, then when he was in the line he said Good Morning to me. I made sure I kept smiling and that I didn't look the least bit sad. I was doing good. Breakfast was over and it was time for church. In between though I had a moment alone with his brother John and proceeded to tell him everything that happened. He told me he assumed all along that we were seeing each other and that his brother was a fool for letting our relationship end. Church started and I was still fine, until the sermon started. Then I just about died. The title of the sermon was "The Fragrance of Love". It was all about love and how to treat people that you love. I sat in that pew and kept parts of my body moving at all times to try and stay calm. I did OK, then we had the Alter Call. I already knew that I was going up there to pray about getting me through this. Her prayer was so powerful I started sobbing, I couldn't stop. She knew I was crying when she was done crying and kept me at the alter longer then anyone else. Church was over and into the fellowship hall we all went. Tom avoided me like the plague. At one point though I was standing by the trash cans and this lady walked up to me told me that I was looking sexier and sexier every week. While she was telling me this Tom walked right behind her. I know he heard her because I could see the lines around his eyes and his dimples either smiling or laughing for me. Not sure which one. Later I thanked her and told her, her timing was awesome and why. She was very glad that she had said it then. After that I went to teach Sunday school. I did see him one other time when I was in the church office making copies and he was leaving, I walked out of the office and made a general announcement to everyone to have a great day and bye. I came home after church and went to sleep, or should I say I tried to sleep. I kept thinking about all the unanswered questions that I had in my head and down to the computer I went to compose an email to Tom. I sent it and he read it, but still hasn't answereed me. I am slowly finding out that he is a coward. He did tell me in an email that he was sorry he treated me the way he did at church but he was afraid I would make a scene. Like I would actually do that in the ho
