deannhuss
MELT DOWN...
Feb 12, 2010
I am having a meltdown and need to talk to someone. Thanks to OH, I can come on here and let it all out. Sorry for those of you that have to read my tempertantrum. I have had a rough couple of weeks and god only knows why. These last 2 weeks I have been on the edge of a nervous breakdown and I am at the breaking point now. I drive a school bus and have about 2 hundred bad kids. I've been hit by these kids, cussed out and called a whore and have had threats made to me. I come home to my loving 2 year old whom is a holy terror at the moment, my 8 year old who has anger issues, my 12 year old who has mental issues and my husband who is a lazy ass that just bitches and gripes all the time. So, I wonder why I am having a melt down. I started working so we could have money to pay bills and now my husband thinks that he doesn't have to work. I went to wal-mart to get a gallon of milk and some yogurt and as I was checking out I found out that I had no money in the bank. I had to put all the stuff back. Well, that right there really started my melt down. I cried for hours. Now, I am angry and pissed at the world. I could kill someone. I would love to take a baseball bat and beat the crap out of everything. Now that I have said all that I need to talk about the real problem. Your probably thinking "What could be worse than all that". I'll tell you what is worse than all that, FOOD !!! Yep, I said that ugly 4 letter word. FOOD, FOOD ,FOOD. I turned to food today for comfort and have eaten everything I could. I have eaten every single hour. I am so bloated now and I feel like my stomach is about to rupture. The problem is, is when I eat I feel a feeling of calmness but, then it goes away. So, then I eat again and again and again. The most calories I have had since my surgery is 550 calories. It is just now 3:00 and I have had over 600 calories. Talking about feeling like shit. Just a few days ago I thought I had an eating disorder. I proved to myself today that I don't. I called my doctor this morning because I thought I was having problems with my blood sugar being too low and got yelled at by the nurse for not getting my protein in and my calories being way to low. I think that is why I ate and ate all day. I'm going to have to exerscise an extra hour just to get these extra calories off. Well, now that I have had my tempertantrum it is time to go workout again so I won't feel as guilty for eating everything. Oh, and just to end on a happy note. I am in a size 6 now. I wish I could be excited but, Life is just to stressful and I can't enjoy my weightloss.
Eating Disorder....
Feb 06, 2010
For anyone reading this that may be wanting to have surgery:
It is the best thing I have ever done. Don't think twice about getting it.
JUST DO IT...
It takes alot of hard work and dedication but, it is deffinently life changing.
People will treat you different once you get the weight off. You will feel special again.
I PROMISE !!!!
Update and MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!
Dec 23, 2009
Hey everybody...I just wanted to update my progress and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I am now down 62 pounds. It's been 3 months and I've gone from 200 to 138. I am down to a size 10...woohoo !!! Watch out size 3, here I come. My goal is to be 105 pounds and wear a size 3 or 5. I know 105 sounds awful small but, I am only 4'11. My doctors goal for me is 97 pounds. I am working really hard at getting to my goal and it is really showing. I thank GOD everyday for giving me a second chance at a new life. My gastric bypass (RNY) has been the greatest thing I have ever done. I wish I would've done it years ago. For those of you who have not had the surgery yet; make sure you get it. The first 4 to 6 weeks will be pure HELL but, after you make it past that stage you will start to feel so GREAT and it will be smooth sailing. I do want to tell everybody that even though the first 4 to 6 weeks is pure Hell, you must make a lifestyle change during that time. You will have to change the way you look at food and the way you exercise and everything about yourself and your family. When I came home from the hospital after my surgery I was so worried that I would never be able to eat my favorite foods again. I cried and cried. If you were to ask me now "Do I want the foods I cried over"? I would tell you NO... No, those bad foods that made me fat in the first place do not appeal to me at all. I want good healthy foods now. I want fruits, vegies, and water. I was scared for the holidays to come. I didn't want to be tempted by the sweets and pies but, I'm not tempted. I can even make all the goodies for my family and friends and not even want to lick the bowl or spoon. My sister and I went to the mall yesterday and she was hungry and wanted Chick Fil A. I was so proud of myself when all I got was the fruit cup. I felt great. I am finaly in control of my body and that is the greatest feeling that NO ONE can ever take away. As far as exercise goes, I started out after my surgery walking. I love to walk but, I don't like the cold and I don't like to walk on the treadmill. So, now that it's cold, I do 40 minutes of strength and sculpt training everyday. I have all the Biggest Loser workout DVD's and they are the best. I love to work out with weights. When I went through my last stall I decided to start adding weights to my workout and it makes a huge difference. I dropped 7 pounds and a dress size in a week. My flab is going away too. I plan on updating some new pics here really soon. I've never been one to take many pics. I really just want everyone to see my progress. Anyways, I want everyone on OH to know that you have been such an inspiration to me. Without your kindness and support I couldn't have done this.
Happy Thanksgiving !!! I ate way too much today...
Nov 26, 2009
Watch out...I could kill someone !!!
Nov 14, 2009
Down 45 pounds in 7 weeks !!!
Nov 08, 2009