DJ Wood
January 21, 2009 - One Year Post-op
Jan 28, 2009
The date kinda sneaked past me... I guess because I am
(1) surprised that the year flew by so fast;
(2) still amazed that I even had WLS; and
(3) shocked every time I look in the mirror and realize that I am not still 300 pounds.
I honestly thought I would be 300 pounds for the remainder of my life.
This year, I've learned a lot about myself and how I feel about food and exercise. Before WLS I was (sometimes still am) just plain lazy. As you probably know, our children are adults and haven't lived with us for years, so it was easy to go through a drive-thru for breakfast and lunch and out for dinner every night rather than shop for food and actually cook. Allen was away from home at least 2 weeks of every month, and when he was home he was agreeable to whatever I wanted to do for dinner. We enjoyed going out for drinks and appetizers after work and then on to a full dinner. Afterwards, when we were back home, we would read or watch television, or I would go to my home office to work. (I was allowed to work from home for 3 years because of bad health, which was in-part related to my obesity.) Exercise was not in my vocabulary. I believed I could not exercise because of my health and my health deteriorated because of my lack of exercise and horrible eating habits. You may have walked in my shoes... I could eat a pint of Haagen-Dazs Butter Pecan or a bag of Reese's miniatures after a huge dinner without any discomfort and I hardly ever thought about the calories. My justification - if I ever thought about it - was that I was already fat so a few more pounds wouldn't make any difference.
Today, the thought of how much food I could/would consume in a day makes me both physically sick and heart-sick. As with many obese people, much of my secretive and alone eating was to comfort emotional and psychological issues that I did not know how to deal with on my own and was too embarrassed to talk about to anyone else - even (especially) family and close friends.
In the summer of 2006, I had a mental meltdown in the office of our family doctor. I had fallen down the stairs at my sister's house and broken both ankles and was at the doctor's office for a routine follow-up. He simply asked me how I was feeling and I became hysterical. I probably owe my life to him. Because of him I received intense psychiatric and psychological therapy and after many trials finally found the right combination of "happy" pills that keep me level and sane.
In the Fall of 2007, the doc and I began to discuss WLS. He insisted that I research the surgery and report back to him. In the meantime, he did some research as well. When I told him I had chosen Dr. Freeman as my surgeon, he actually called Dr. Freeman to ask questions about the procedure. Since my surgery, he and Dr. Freeman have continued to share information about my progress. My family doctor referred me for WLS with conditions - that I continue my psych counseling and have regular follow-up with the Psychiatrist, and that I follow-up with him every 2 months.
In 2 weeks, I will have my one-year follow-up visits with both doctors. Although I am still 26 pounds from my goal weight, I am happy with the progress I have made and hope the doctors will be too. I have not lost any weight in 3 months and only 10 pounds since September. I go up and down from 181 to 183. I know I can lose another 20 pounds and would like to make it 26 to reach my goal of 155 but I am not stressing over it.
I am still going to the park to walk almost every day - even in the cold - but I usually only walk 20-25 minutes because that is how long Allen runs. I have a state-of-the-art treadmill, a full set of hand weights, and other exercise equipment in our den right beside the chair where I watch television every night but I have not used any of it in months. That's the LAZY me...
I still eat a lot of yogurt and cottage cheese and an occasional protein bar rather than prepare some other healthy breakfast and lunch. That's the LAZY me...
I still concentrate on getting at least 100g protein and stay between 1500 and 1700 calories each day. I would probably lose that additional 26 pounds if I cut back to 1200 calories and 3 meals - no snacks, but I just became bored with measuring, weighing, and recording my food. That also is the LAZY me...
I feel pretty normal most days. I am happy. I like the attention I receive from people that have not seen me since surgery. My hair is growing back and it is not gray. I loved cutting-up my credit cards to Lane Bryant, Catherines, Avenue, and Junonia, and celebrate every time I toss one of their catalogs in the trash. Yes, I have ugly, wrinkled, saggy skin. So what? There are only a few people that will ever see that and they don't care. I will be 55 y/o in March and I think I look a heck of a lot better than most women my age. More than that, I feel better than I have in over 20 years.
I hope 2009 does not fly by as quickly as 2008 did and I think 2009 will be my best year yet. - if I can just get defeat the LAZY me... - dj
