Dabba Doo X.

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I went for my 3rd fill this morning and he gave me .5cc for a total of 6.  I hope I get some of my restriction back that I had lost.  I only lost 3 pounds this month, but that was do to a month of stress eating and not exercising.

I have done very well this past week.  I have walked everyday at least 2 miles and I have run a couple of times also.  I am confident that the weightloss will eventually come.  I have felt really good all this week and I am not falling asleep like I was last week.  Here's to another week of great exercise and hoping my Wii Fit comes this week.

BTW, my weight at the doctor's office as 224, but my scale at home reads 217.

and it's only 10am!  I took an early morning walk with my kids (of course, they were less then happy about it), as I was walking I decided to jog.  I was only able to go about a block before having to walk again, but it was so much fun.  I ran about 3 blocks total.

I feel so good now.  I feel more energized!  I can't wait to go out tomorrow morning and do it again!

For the first time in a long time...I feel great about myself!

I frustrate myself so much.  I just cant seem to get the hang of this new lifestyle.

I am a carb-oholic!  Why can't I stay away from them? I am 10 1/2 weejs post op and I am struggling so much.  I have lost about 15 pounds since surgery, but the biggest part was within the first month of surgery.  I will lose a couple of pounds, then gain a couple, lose those same pounds, gain them back.  it is driving me crazy.

I had some good restriction for a couple weeks but it seems to be gone now.  I wish I were more disaplined.  I wish I could make myself log my foods, but I fight it every step of the way.  Why do I sabotage myself this way?  Even when I take it one day at a time, I still can't seem to keep my commitment to do the things I need to do.  I have got to find a way to break this cycle.

Today was the first time I have pb'd or slimed since being banded on March 14th.  It was weird because it wasn't from overeating but I think from not chewing good or from dry meat (i'm not sure which).  After only a few (5-6) bites I got a really bad stuck feeling and it hurt like the dickens!  i took a small drink of water which made it worse.

I got up and started walking in a direction where no one was around.  I started sliming and spit that out twice, then I burped/belched and the food all came up.  I still felt a little stuck for a few minutes but then it was gone and I felt alot better.  the pb'ing itself didn't really hurt but the stuck feeling did.  I will definately have to be more careful when I eat because I don't like that feeling at all.

I have been having pain in my port area for a little over a week now.  It is more of a pulling feeling, but really hurts if I lay on the side opposite of my port or if I sit in a certain position.  I plan to call the doctor today to see what this could be.  I really hope that nothing has come loose, but it doesn't seem infected either, no heat, no swolleness, no redness.  Hopefully it will just go away.

I have some restriction now, but I am struggling to make myself exercise! Not to mention that I am an emotional eater and this month is a very Emotional one for me!!!  Our school year is ending and I have to say good-bye to all my little ones.  I have fallen in love with so many of them that it is going to be so hard to say good-bye;  My birthday is this month and for some reason that is getting me down as well.

I need to get my mind in check, get my butt in gear, and get this weightloss rolling!

I really think that this battle is 25% band - 75% mental!  The head part is alot harder then anything.  There is a demon that lives in my head, that is constantly tempting me to fail.  I can't let that demon hang around.  I can't let him win!  This is my life and i need to take control of it.

I wonder if this ever gets better?  I know I am only 2 months out, but does the battle between good and evil ever get easier?  I am praying that it does!

This is so weird trying to figure out if you have adequate restriction or not.

I have always been one of those people that I ate and never felt full until I was stuffed, so I don't really know what full or satisfied feels like.

Since my last fill, I know I have some restriction, but I am not sure when to stop eating.  I get a pain in my chest, which I thought was my soft stop, but yesterday I kept eating and the pain went away.  I never pb'd or slimed so I don't know if this truly is my soft stop or not.  I did feel very full, but I don't get what others get when they say they get a soft stop and then if they eat one more bite they pb.

I have been just stopping when I feel that pain in my chest and I feel full, but not stuffed.

I don't know what the heck I weigh either!  At my doctor's last week I weight 227 at home I weigh 2219.5, but my scale at home is different everytime I get on it.  It is so frustrating!  I need to break down and buy a good scale so that I can have an accurate reading of my weight.

I have to say that I feel alot better since I got this fill.  I was starting to get discouraged because I had zero restriction, but at least now I know that if I am not there yet, I soon will be.  I am eating alot less (1 cup) and staying full 3-4 hours.

I really feel confident that this is going to work for me and that is an Awesome Feeling!

I went for my second fill yesterday.  He gave me another 1.5 ccs for a total of 5.5 cc's in my 10 cc band.  I actually think I have some restriction!!!!  I feel a tightness in my lower chest, I think this is probably my soft stop.  I haven't had the urge to pb or slime yet, so I guess I am doing good.

I have started having dizzy spells.  They started about 3 days ago and I am not sure why I am having them.  Hopefully, they go away soon.

My husband and son were in the yard throwing the football (my son was pretending to snap the ball)  When he said hut, hut, I took off like I was going to sack him to see if he could still throw the ball to his dad.  We practiced for about 20 mins doing that.  It was so much fun.  Definately got the heart to pumping.

There is no way I could have done that 4o pounds heavier.

My son was so happy to have me out there playing with him.  It made me feel good.

I have only exercised ONE day this week!  And it is showing on the scales because I haven't lost any weight.  I don't know why I have done this, but I need to get back on track.

I still have 3 more weeks until my fill and I definately need one.  I feel like I have ZERO restriction now.  I am controlling the amounts of food that I eat, but I am not always making the best choices.  On Tuesday my kids and I went to DQ and I ate.....Nachos!  Very bad Choice!  Last night was better, I had a boneless thin sliced pork chop, veggies and a small serving of potatoes.

***"Just for today"...I promise myself that I will make healthy choices, and ride my exercise bike for 30 minutes.**