Trying is scary.

Jun 04, 2010

I'm in the eighth week of my mandatory eight-week weight management class, and I'm down almost 20 pounds since I started the class (30 pounds from my highest weight).  I'm happy with my success, but I'm dreading the day that I fail.  This feels too easy.  I haven't had any huge setbacks, binges, or gains yet, and I don't know how I'll cope when it happens.  Because it's going to happen, right?  I'm going to fail at some point, and that scares the crap out of me.  I don't know how to deal with that yet.

I'm feeling more pressure to get this weight off, since my sister got engaged and her wedding is next June.  She would never, ever say so, but I feel like it would ruin her wedding photos if I were fat in them.  So I'm driven by that, even though I'm doing this for me.  Possibly not the healthiest motivator, but there it is.

So, feeling good, but guarded.

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