emt4jesus

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36 hours before my surgery, God allowed a trial to test my faith and I failed.  The hospital called and said that my insurance would only pay half of the cost because it was an "elective" surgery.  They had to have the money, $6250, up front before they would allow the surgery to take place.  I don't know about you but I don't have that kind of money sitting around.  After a lot of tears and angry words and thoughts, I made the decision to postpone the surgery again and borrow the money from my 401K.  I had Sonya call the church and my friends to let them know there would be no surgery.  After all the special prayer times with the kid's, and choir, and other folks, I was embarrassed to talk with anyone.

Not once did I pray or looked to God for help.  In fact, I was somewhat mad at God for allowing this to happen.   I was so engrossed in my own pity party that I allowed my joy to be taken and ignored the God who has always provided for my needs.

Well thank God takes care of even the prideful and foolish.  I phoned the doctor's office the next morning to let them know what the situation was.  To say the least, they were very angry with the hospital.  They said that they would intercede on my behalf.  The moment I got off the phone, I got a call from the church.  It seems a group of men got together and donated $7000 to insure that I would not have to postpone the surgery.  All I would have to do is pick it up.  15 minutes later, the hospital called to reverse their decision to not work out a payment agreement.  In fact, my case was now being handeled by the finance manager instead of a clerk.  When I went to pay for the surgery, this manager and her boss met me to process the paperwork.

I share this not to brag about receiving the money or even to show how God will provide.  I share this because God worked in my life dispite my failure to have the faith I am forever telling others to hold on to.  God showed me that I have friends who care for me enough to provide when I was in need.  He showed me that He will provide for my needs.  Most of all, God showed me that pride still rules my life and that even though I profess to be a Christian, that my good deeds and works are not the witness He requires from me.  He requires my faith, all the time.  For He is alway faithful; yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Well, after a lot of pre-surgery excitement, the surgery is over and I am home.  Four days post surgery and this is the first day I have felt like getting on the computer.

First, I feel pretty good.  Not too much pain, lot of gas, and very tired.  The first night I slept in the recliner, if you can call it sleep.  The past two nights, I slept in bed which was slightly better.  I've lost 17 pounds since the surgery.  I'm on my way.  I guess my biggest problem has been getting the water in.  Each day gets better but I have yet to get to 64 ounces demanded by the doctor.  As for hunger, there has been very little.  Usually, 2 ounces of jello takes care of the problem.  My wife thinks I'm crazy but I'm still watching the Food Channel.  It doesn't make me hungry or miss food.  It has given me some ideas for some healthy dishes for the future.

I AM truly blessed!  Yesterday was an awesome day!  Sonya and I were showered with love from the time we walked into church Sunday morning until we left Sunday night.  I was stopped in the halls on several occasions to be reminded that I was being remembered in prayer.  I was prayed over by the choir, the children's Sunday School teachers, and two different children's classes.  It was a very humbling experience.

I turned over my teaching and Awana responsibilities to a friend Sunday.  I visited all the Awana clubs and said my farewells for the year.  I probably won't interact with the kids until Awana Awards night in May.  After talking with a few other spouses of WLS, I don't want to be a bear toward the kids.  I want to be of good cheer and clear mind when I see them again. 

Two days and a wake up!!  I can't believe it's almost here.  I am anxious but for the first time, I have a real peace about the whole process.  God is in control and no matter what happens, it's going to be ok.  I made changes to my will and other important documents yesterday; so Sonya is well taken care of if the worse happens.   My prayer now is that God use this surgery to His honor and glory.  I pray as my life changes over the next months and years that He uses me to reach children and their families with the gospel of Christ.

Well, I allowed the stress of work and the anxiety of the surgery get the better of me yesterday as I woke up with a migraine headache.  I still have a bit of a medicine hang over but the pain is nothing but a dull ache this morning.  The closer I get to the surgery date, the more anxious I seem to get.  I've struggled to loose weight over the past few weeks as my tendency to eat more under stress has kicked in.  Working 12 hour days isn't helping any either.  I'm glad it's Wednesday so I can be with my brothers and sisters in Christ this evening for fellowship and choir practice.  There's nothing better than praising God to help relieve stress and anxiety. 

 

Well, nine more days and a wake-up until surgery.  I am getting anxious.  I spent yesterday afternoon at a friends farm in Tennessee after church services.  Had some good food and spent most of the time watching the Master's golf tournament.  Being able to golf again is another by-product I hope to get from this surgery.  Sonya and I haven't been golfing in many years.

Everyone is being so supportive as the big day gets closer.  So many people are praying for me and wishing me luck,  I must have been stopped a dozen times at church as people wanted to confirm that the surgery was still a go and to give me encouragement.  I am so blessed!!

What a stressful week it has been with work being totally out of control.  It seems everything went wrong or hot all at once.  But during my quiet time, I was reading about the crucifiction of Christ in the book of Matthew.  I've read Matthews account many times and every time God has revealed a different truth.  This time it was the words of the Roman soldier that caught my eye.  "Truely, this man was the Son of God"  It reminded me of that night in January of 1999 when I made the connection that Jesus truely is the Son of God.  The day of my salvation.  We don't know what happen to that Roman soldier when he came to realize who was on that cross.  We don't know if he accepted Christ at the cross.  But I am reminded and joyful that at my realiztion, Jesus changed my life forever.  
God Bless all who read this and hopefully you too will truely know that Jesus is the Son of God! 

My biggest concern now is to stay healthy.  I don't want another set back before the surgery.  The infection that postponed the March 28th surgery is gone but I did chip a tooth last night.  I'm going to get that repaired quickly and then pray nothing else happens.  I am going to start walking every night up to the surgery even with the back and joint pain.  The doctor assures me that I can't do any more damage but it will be painful.  My hope is to loose 20 pounds before the surgery.  15 days and a wake-up!!

I got the call this afternoon.  The surgery has been rescheduled for April 18th.  Thank you Lord!

I finally heard from the doctor's office today.  The nurse who schedules the surgeries has been in clinicals all week.  I should hear from her today about a new surgery date.  I got released from my family doctor concerning the infection that postponed the original surgical date.  With all the antibiotics I've taken over the past week, I can stand next to a sick person and they would get well!

Last night I become extremely angered that the surgeon's office had not called to re-schedule my surgery.  I had all but decided to call today and ask if I'd done something wrong or did they treat all their patients this bad.  As we finished up a very spirit filled choir practice, my peace and joy had been returned through the singing of praises.  Then as prayer requests were being taken, God reminded me that what I was upset about was nothing compared to the suffering of others.  

Adam Sutton is an 18 year old young man with his whole life yet to live.  Unfortunately, that life may be cut short due to a rare and fatal heart condition that took his mother's life a couple of years back.  Adam's only hope is a heart transplant.  He is on month two of three months that he was given to live.  He has been called in twice to receive hearts only to have the hearts be unsuitable for transplant.  He has battled a blood clot that almost killed him and now rests in ICU waiting to get a heart or die.  He is weak, frustrated and I'm sure fightened for the future.  How can my postponed surgery compare to what Adam and his family are fighting through?  Sometime we get so petty and blinded with pride that we forget about how blessed we really are.  Adam's problems are genetic and not of his own doing.  I am fully responsible for the mess my health is in.  Seek first the kingdom of God!