EricaLeigh113

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I cannot believe that 6 months post op about less than 15lbs from my goal weight! I am so happy! There are so many things I have felt so great about and i think once i reach my goal weight I will feel that much better. So i havent posted in awhile so i should give some updates:
- i have now lost over 85 lbs since the surgery
- i fit into size 8 pants, size small/medium tops
- i have a boyfriend who is amazing
- i am shopping A LOT MORE

I knew that i would be shopping a lot after the surgery but i didnt know HOW much. I'm running out of clothes like there's no tomorrow! And it's not like the in-between sizes where i didnt really care what i looked like - it's at the point now where i want to go to the "nice" stores and spend money! IT'S BAD! I think i need a second job just to pay for the clothes lol. I did think i would get addicted to shopping - and i was right.
So my weight loss the past month or so has been steady. I stopped exercising for about 2 months during the summer but in the past month i've developed more of a routine with the exercise. Plus it helps that my boyfriend exercises and likes outdoor activities. I've played tennis and for the first time, i tried kayaking (and LOVED it!) I'm also running more because i want to do a 5k sometime next spring. My sister, brother, dad and boyfriend all run so I want to be a part of it. I've already gone up to running a mile and a half consistently. Before the surgery i couldnt even run down my street, i would have to stop and walk!! It's a great feeling to be able to do it. I want to get up to the point where i can run with people too. This past weekend, my boyfriend and I ran 1.5 miles and it felt great. He slowed down a bit for me but it just felt good to be able to do it.

Overall i feel great and wanted to update and reflect on what i've accomplished and want to continue to accomplish.

I am just so happy right now! I went shopping today in the morning before work and yes, i tried on size 12 shorts and capris and they FIT! I am just so ecstatic! (sp?) I also have been fitting into Medium shirts too! I even have a small tank top on right now...a SMALL. I never thought i'd be able to say that! It's an amazing feeling. And I love it. I'm loving life right now too. I recently did the "Cliff Walk" in Newport on Saturday and it felt great. I dont think i wouldve had the nerve to do it before the surgery. Now, i was just another Saturday and i enjoyed every minute of it (plus the company of an awesome guy made that much better :-)). Im also going to NH this weekend and Block Island next weekend. I'm excited for both trips and hoping to continue on this positive streak throughout the summer.

And as for the weight loss stop...it hasnt! ha. I've lost another 5 or 6lbs since the last post. I've been refocused on writing down everything i eat to make sure i get all 60+ grams of protein!

So the past few weeks i've been at the same weight (maybe up and down a couple of lbs) and getting frustrated. I changed over to real foods starting at the end of May and have continued to go down in weight. I've continued to go to the gym but still the weight isnt coming off.

I now understand why some people get depressed after the surgery! I'm getting frustrated with myself over this struggle! The weight comes off so easily in the beginning then slowly stops.

So what i've decided to do is go back on sparkpeople.com. I need to really look at my calories/fat/protein intake and make sure i'm getting everything in. My mom said the weight stopped a little bit because i was eating higher fat foods, which very well could be the reason. I'm also going out more (out to eat, dating) so that could be a reason too. I'm gonna try and get refocused on going to the gym and back on food so i can be at a size i want!

I'm trying to get down to about 170/165 by August 7th! So i have seven weeks to go down 10-15lbs. I think i can do it!! Actually i KNOW i can! And why August 7th? That's when i'm going to the beach house for a week with my family! I bought a bathing suit (that was a lil tight) so i want to fit into it comfortably! Plus i wanna show off my new body to the beach world!!

I am proud to say I am now half way to my goal weight! Wow did that go by fast!! I'm down 50 lbs and hoping to lose the next 50 by November or December. I know it's gets harder once you're closer to your goal so i'm thinking late in the year is a good goal mark.
I'm happy with the weight loss so far. People have definitely noticed and I am at a weight i've never been at my adult life! (I LOVE SAYING THAT!) I'm doing well with the eating and drinking, getting all my protein and liquids in. I sometimes have trouble with the meds - and i know this isnt an excuse but i just get so busy all the time! I know i have to make some behavioral changes in order to remember all the meds. I know this will help me in the long run.
Something else i'm into now is dating. Well i'm not really "into" it, persay. But i'm doing it. I've been single for a long time and it's time for a change. I figured why not now?! I've gone out on a few dates here and there, but nothing special yet. It's exhausting though! I'm jealous of all the people who found their person - you all should be so lucky!! I'm on Match.com and just doing the communication back and forth takes soooooo much time and energy! I mix people up with what i've talked about, what their story is, etc. I also cant tell my mom about any of the dates (which gets hard when i live with her!!) because if i did, she'd get all excited and want to meet the guy, this could be even more I  meet him!! Ahhh again, exhausting.
It's an adventure and i'm definitely up for it (or else i wouldnt be doing it!) I'm excited about the summertime, the weather and renting a beach house for a week in August!
Loving life right now :-)

 

So i should start off by saying most of my co-workers know i had the surgery. I'm pretty bubbly and open about my difficulties and now i'm still open about new life :-). People are complimenting me, they gave me a cake (ice cream!!) before i left for the surgery and then gave me flowers and a card when i came back. They sent me cards to my house, send me encouraging texts, emails, etc. They were and still are amazing people in my office! I know i won be looking for a new job anytime soon because 1) i love my job and 2) i love my co-workers.
I've been getting compliments from pretty much everyone about how great i look. Everyone except this one person. Now i should start by saying we were (and i think, still are) friends. We have seen each other outside the office a couple times and talked about things she couldnt tell any other friends she's had. We were close too at one point.

Now i'm not sure if it was the surgery or what-not but she has not said anything to me....NOTHING!! When i returned to work 3 weeks after the surgery, she said "Welcome back." Then nothing, not "how was the surgery?" "how was the recovery?" "wow you look great?" NOTHING. She was even on my list of emails to send out for my Updates and she didnt even say anything about that.

I guess i'm just saying i'm hurt by this. I'm also afraid to say something because i dont want it to be a whine session, like "why havent you complimented me" or “why haven’t you noticed me me me me” type of thing. It's not like that but i dont want it to be about me. That's the hard part, a lot of this is about me and it scares me a little bit. I dont think she likes that - because she makes a lot of things about her. She’s also very work-oriented, not very social with a lot of people in the office. So when people are talking to me about the surgery, she isn’t there to hear it. I don’t know if she would even participate in the conversation if she was there to hear it.   It’s strange how this surgery has changed the dynamics and relationships I have with some people…

So next week it will officially be 2 months out from my surgery on March 9th. As of today, i've lost about 33lbs. People notice the difference in my face and my waist. I'm happy it's noticable but also scary because of the field i'm in. I'm afraid of the questions from clients. I've already had some comments and i've handled them well.Basically everyone knows at work and has been so supportive. It's great since i'm there all the time.

Lately, i've been focused on exercise. I was never truly a "gym person" but i joined Planet Fitness in January and have been going ever since. On Monday, i met with the trainer and he set me up with strength training machines to work on my arms, abs and legs. I also have to use this "ArcTrainer" for 30 minutes after using the machines. The first day i tried to trainer, i could only do it for 8 minutes! On Wednesday, i used it again and was able to do 15 minutes. Today, i got up to 30 minutes!! I was so proud of myself!! Now granted, i think i went at a slower speed, i still made it to 30 minutes. They say the Arc Trainer is better than the Elliptical so i think ill stick with it.

Also, at my next paycheck, i will be buying a bike. I'm very excited!! I found a good one at Target for only 230 bucks (versus the 400+ ones at bike shops) I'm gonna try it out and see if i like to bike, i havent since middle/high school. I'm not sure if i'll be a "runner" but maybe a "biker."

Another big development is starting Match.com. I've always been on the site but never subscribed to it (paid for it ha). I officially paid for a whole year! I'm trying to stay as committed as possible to that. This is a journey and i'm ready for a relationship.

So...basically SOOO many changes but all good!! So happy to have had this surgery. It jump-started me into a new kind of life!

I dont know if thats the right terminology but it's my kind of saying...
So I should start this off by saying that since August i've been living with my parents. They rarely go anywhere, they're always home!! They dont go on vacation and rarely go out to eat or stay out at night. They're both teachers, so they are always home when i get home from work. So here comes the story...
On Tuesday, my parents were taking care of my nephew and travelled to CT to stay over my sister's house until Wednesday. As i was driving home, i remembered this and immediately thought "Oh awesome, i can be home alone and eat a lot." That's what i WOULD do when i was back in high school whenever i either stayed home from school or got home before my parents. I would always hide my food, trying to eat as much as i could without anyone seeing how much i ate. So after my "thought relapse" i did feel disappointed that i couldnt eat as much as i could. I realized how much this is my addiction - because a large part of an addiction is hiding it from people. Ahhhh. So i didnt eat too much, and tried to enjoy my time alone in the house as much as possible.
I'm slowly thinking i might go see a therapist at some point if these thoughts keep coming. But since i am a therapist, i might utilize my friends in the field to help me out before i search someone myself. (I've been to therapy multiple times throughout my life so im not completely avoiding it) I'm just trying to catch myself with my thoughts more and not follow through with negative behaviors...

It's so strange how in such little time, i feel so much more comfortable with my decision and commitment to this life change. Before the surgery (maybe about a week) everyone kept asking me how i was doing and i truly didnt know. I think i was much more nervous and anxious than excited. All i can remember is that i wanted to 1) make it through the surgery without too much anxiety 2) make it through the hospital stay 3) transition to back at home and be able to tolerate all the liquids and protein. It wasn’t until 2 days ago that i realized i managed to accomplish all those things!! Lol. It’s strange how I feel and that’s why I said “comfortable” because I think that’s what it is. A friend of mine is getting the surgery and she was asking me all these questions about it…it felt so good to be on the other side of it, ANSWERING the questions, but not having to ask how it’s going to be. It’s such a nice feeling. I went to my second support group meeting on Wednesday and also felt so much more comfortable than my first one (before my surgery). It was a much smaller group so that probably had something to do with it but still, I think I felt more connected to the people around me.  Of course, I still have questions about future stuff (transitioning to real foods, dating, etc) but i felt more comfortable in my own skin…and that has always been a rare commodity for me! Hopefully this sticks!

So time definitely flies by because it's been a month since my surgery. Crazy. I'm still on pureed foods and liquids but adjusting pretty well to it. I havent thrown up from anything but have gotten a lil nauseous once (from rice pie on easter). I'm getting good ideas from people online, especially theworldaccordingtoeggface.com. She's great. I'm into corned beef hash lately, broccoli cheddar soup too.
I cant believe i'm down 22lbs too. I didnt realize how fast the pounds go down. I already fit into smaller sizes!! It's great. I'm back at work and loving it. I got so frustrated at home because i was so focused on food/tv/books that i needed something else.
My last post talked about getting in all the protein and liquids i need. I've been getting better because i found ISOPURE drinks...they're a protein supplement, but not a protein shake. Thank god! They're pretty good taste and 20g of protein for 10oz! So they're perfect for what i'm looking for. I may go back to protein shakes after awhile, hey i may like the taste if i'm away from it for awhile. Oh well.
Let's hope the next few weeks are just as good as the last month. I have my transition appt with the nutritionist at the end of this month so i'm happy about that. I think by that time, i'll be ready for regular foods!

Apparently i havent posted since before i met with Dr. Roye, so i'm going to add everything in today.
So on March 9th, i had my surgery. I cant believe it's already been 8 days. When i met with Dr Roye, he approved me and set it up for then. He was pretty quiet but i knew he was a good surgeon so i didnt mind. I asked my questions and that was that.

I was the second surgery on the 9th, and didnt seem to nervous the day before and the day of. Thats not what i can say for my mom and dad. The surgery went well, i got out in 2.5 hours and went into recovery. I remember some of that time but i was in and out of it for most of the 2 hours i was there. Then i was transferred to a step down unit, an ICU unit. The nurses there were very nice, and well informed. I had a slight problem with my oxygen level going down to 88, but i was okay after that day. The next day at 1pm i was transferred to COOP which was okay. In the step down unit it was a private room, and the COOP wasnt. Also, the COOP didnt have a free TV! haha. I was taken off the IV fluids on the second day (in the afternoon) and then had to take the Lortab (liquid vicodin). I was allowed to go home the day after around 12pm.

I was pretty tired throughout that day and slept for most of it. I was so glad to be home though, to be around my cats and bed!!
The thing that bugs me are my meds. I have to take so much! and some of it is so disgusting!! Tomorrow is the last day for my shots so that's a good thing. One med out of the way.

I'm getting used to keeping up with the liquid and protein intake. I'm trying to see when i'm full and when i'm not full. I've experienced the pain from being too full and i'm trying to recognize it more but still get in as much liquid and protein. The first few days i couldnt get anywhere near enough of the requirements as the nutritionist told me to. Thank god for OH b/c i realized i wasnt alone.

It's only recently that i've been able to keep up with the liquid part of the requirements, still trying to get up there with the protein. I think i'm going to be living off pudding and yogurt for 6 weeks! Because i've tried some pureed things and havent really enjoyed them. Oh well. I like some of the protein shakes i've made so that's good. I'm off the liquid vicodin, i didnt take it that much cause i didnt really need it. The last time i took it was Tuesday afternoon (and only like a teaspoon of it). I've recovered pretty quickly and happy about that.

So in a nutshell, that's where i'm at. Glad to be on the losers bench and headed in the right direction. I officially posted my before pictures as truly "BEFORE" and that made me happy!