Pre Op Liquid Diet

Mar 09, 2009

This morning I started my preop liquid diet.  It's CLEAR liquids, except for protien shakes.  I bought a case of chicken broth at the store, a big can of powdered protein shakes, and a bunch of sugar free generic crystal light.  Ugh.  It's only noon  on day 1 and I am hungry. I forgot to bring milk to work, so I'll have to go over to the cafeteria to get a carton.  I hope they have something gross for lunch so I won't feel like I am missing out.

Even though I am hungry, it's exciting to finally be starting something to get me to my goal.  I'm really starting to get nervous about the surgery.  I just hate the point where you are going into the holding area, unsedated, and completely out of control over what is happening to you.  I also hate first waking up.  My sleep apnea is bad and I am so afraid that something will happen with my breathing.  Last time I had surgery they didn't extubate me until I was in the recovery room.  I was still asleep, but I felt them extubate me and it was painful.  It wasn't awful, awful, but it scared me. 

I talked to Dr. Cottam last week and he said that he will check my band and if it is repairable he will fix it. If not, he'll take it out.  It would be nice to have both since I have so much to lose, but it would also be nice to have it gone, too.

I have dreamed of having a RNY for years.  I've tried to get the money, tried to get insurance to pay for it and even thought they would once only to be devastated.  I ended up going to Mexico for my failed band at that point.  I wish I hadn't wasted the money, but there's nothing I can do about that now.  I just don't want to fail again.  I've never been able to maintain my weight.  I've always been either gaining or trying to lose. 

So not it's finally my turn and I am scared.  I'm starting to miss food already.  It's not comfortable being hungry and really distracting.  How pitiful that I feel this way on my first morning of liquids.

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