Tammy E.
My name is Tammy and I am overweight and have been for a long time. I look in the mirror and think how the heck did I let myself get like this. Deep down inside I know how. I am a emotional eater....I eat when happy, sad, angry etc.... My knees hurt going upstairs down stairs, back aches, and have PCOS
I am diabetic and have been for 10 years now along with being diabetic I have high blood pressure. My diabetes is now starting to get worst I am taking the largest amount of pills and will be going to have to take the needles soon. Every diet I try I can not seem to lose more than 10 to 15 pds. Than I gain it all back and feel very guilty and a failure. Only once did I lose over 30 pds and that is when I starved myself. Now I have gained it all back.
My mom died at the age of 57 due to massive heart attack from clogged arteries. She too was diabetic. I was 27 and just had my first baby, Gage now going on 13 in Oct. I have a daughter Torissa had trouble getting pregnant with her is just had her 6 birthday.
I want to live a healthy long life and see my grandchildren some day , and with this operation I know I will. 
On August 19/09 I went down to the Barix Clinic in Michigan. I meet up with Dr. Schram very nice man. Woke up early today and took OHIP into my GP and got her to sign it. It was sent out today being August 20/09 so now the wait begins. I can't wait to start my new life still very scared and excited at the same time.
I love this poem....When I read this I know everything is going to be ok...
I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me
and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.
“Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I'm aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don't understand why, when I needed You most,
You leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints
it was then that I carried you.”
Margaret Fishback Powers
Oct 17/09
Sitting here today and thinking about a lot of things. I have been really trying to change my way of eating and drinking. I am trying to eat healthier and eating slow is so hard to do for me. The drinking half hour before and after I eat is going to take sometime. I stopped drinking diet pop and drinking my English toffee. Which is really hard but at least I know I can do it.
I lost my mom coming up to 13 years ago and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through and still go through. I am hoping this operation is going to be like that experience, where it is going to be hard but it gets easier as times goes by.
My mom was the most amazing person I have ever had in my life and I miss here so....she raised 6 kids on here own while my dad left and met up with another woman...I know she would be so proud of me for making this desion and support me in which ever I wanted to do....but I am so scared to leave my babies. And if I don't get this done I am afraid to leave them as well. Today is a down day...lol I just needed to get this off my chest and breathe....I love you mom and I know you are going to help guided me in every way...xox
