Stranded, but not defeated

Jan 10, 2012

I have not lost any weight in 6 months.  I have not dieted in 6 months. I exercise enough to stay stable, not to lose.
I feel pretty good, physically. I have rapelled off a 14 story building, I've ziplined across the Ozarks, and I can fly without a seatbelt extension and without touching the person in the seat next to me. Am I done? Am I satisfied? Are those the same question?
I don't think so. Am I done with dieting? Maybe. Am I done with living a healthy lifestyle? NO! But I feel those old habits creeping back. The "who cares what I eat?" and the "I'll exercise tomorrow" voices that lead me down the wrong road.  I CARE WHAT I EAT!!! I CARE that I exercise each day.  I do not want to go back to that sad, unhealthy person. I love my new found freedom and I do not want to lose it.
I have a lot of support and I intend to use it. The change to 2012 may be a cliche time to make resolutions and start new habits, but it's where I am right now, so cliches be damned.  I am not going to give up. I am not going to quit. I am not going to go back. I've worked too hard, I've spent too much money and I matter too much to just go back.
I am not satisfied with my current weight and I can do something about it. Food does not control me. I control what I put in my mouth and I control when and how I move my body.
So there.

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