If You Believe It They Believe It!

Apr 14, 2009

Year 4 Months and 5 Dayz Later...

213 lbs Less...

193 lbs && Still Losing...


Past:
(Crying) I remember the day i was on the operating table and i remember lo0king up at the ceiling and seeing all the lights, and just saying over and over in my head, thank u Jesus. i didnt believe i was really having the surgery done up until i woke up... it felt like a dream... i couldnt believe id finally lose the weight thats been attacking and holding me down from really living my life! From showing people who i really was... No one ever understood that it wasnt that i didnt wanna go out, or that i was "lazy". NO! i wanted to enjoy life as much as everyone was enjoying theres... but the constant stares and pointing... I was told everyday! UR Gonna blow up from being so fat! ur gonna this and that... i lived with them thoughts in ma mind for a long time... people made me feel like i couldnt be successfull in life being over weight! i mean sheesh common sense! WHO WANTS TO BE FAT AND NOT BE ABLE TO ENJOY THEIR LIFE FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS??? But im glad its done and over with and i can finally enjoy ME! Enjoy life! Enjoy all the smaller things in life people take for granted.!

Present:
When i tell you ive never been happier, i dont think u completely understand! I am so0o gratefull just to be able to cross my leggs when i sit. Be able to walk without having all types of back, legs, feet pain and ect. I can runn! and i do just because i can! Bein able to gett dressed without running out of energy or breathe! i can bring ma legs up to my chest instead of having to uncomfortably bend over to get my shoes and socks on! i can squat! i can dance for hourrrrs! i have energy! ahhh i can go on forever! i have confidence! i love myself! i can walk into a room with my head up high, instead of low to avoid everyone laughing, pointing, and staring. The fact that i can shop in the S-L sections... instead of trying to fitt myself in the largest size at fashion bugg! or settling for whatever fits, fits... I can walk into a store now and guaranteed find something nice! ive never felt sexy or beautifull and for once in my life i do!!! i can finally accomplish everything that everyone once told me i couldnt because of my weight! they didnt stop me! i stopped me! because 23 years of ma life, i heard u cant! u wont! because i was FAT! i dont wish obesity on NO ONE!!! its the worst thing! (crying) people dont understand how hard it is to be FAT! to not wanna go no where! I will never ever ever tell an obese person they CANT! The complete opposite!!! YOU CANN!!! AND ANYTHING U PUT UR MIND TO U CAN AND WILL DO!!! ACCORDING TO UR FAITH BE IT UNTO YOU! MATTHEW 9:29 

Future:
My goal weight is 135lbs!!! i have about 58 more to go!!! And i will gett there! because im determined and because i CAN!!! I have my own apt, working on ANOTHER car, starting school next year, i have a very great job! Truly a blessing! Thank u Jesus! I Put MYSELF first before any man! I needed love and attention from all the wrong men b4, but now i love myself so much more. that if Mr. Right comes along he does, if he dont, than it is what it is... I realized True Love comes from within, and cant nobody love me unless i love ME!!! And i do!!!  I can honestly say i do and i never thought i could feel like this! GOD IS GOOD!!!! Hallelujah!! Thank U JESUS!!!!!! I wanna be a pediatric nurse, but i know i also wanna be a motivational speaker or something along them lines... i wanna help obese people love them selves... i was told i couldnt!!! But i DID!!! and u can too!!! I will gett married (one day, lolz) and have kids... But for now my main FOCUS is me! Ive missed out 23 yrs of my life... because i lett people gett the best of me! but now... IF IT AINT ABOUT MARII THAN HOMIE I AINT CONCERNED!!! Its time to live my life to the fullest... Enjoy what i never could!!! FIRST SUMMER!!! DORNEY PARK HERE I COME!!! Im not too big on roller coasters, but im going because now i CANN!!! lolz

CONCLUSION:
Most importantly IM HAPPY!!! (Crying; Happy Tears) I Love Myself and i hope that each and everyone of you can feel what i feel! if i could share a little bit with each and everyone of ya! i would! Id have this surgery EVERYDAY For THE REST OF MY LIFE. if i had to!!! Its truly been one of the greatest things that has happened to me and is still happening to me...

Love you all MA OH FAM, thank u for all the love and support!!!

Jesus, without YOU, NONE of this wouldve been possible! SO Forever and a DAy i will thank U!!!  I LOvE U LORD!!! 

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